LETTER LVIII.
In which Major Downing defends the President from the
assault of Lieut. Randolph on board the Steam-boat
Cygnet.
On board the Steam-boat Cygnet, near the city of Alexandria,
down a little ways below Washington, May the 6th, 1833.
To the Editor of the Portland Courier in the Mariners' Church
Building, 2d story, Eastern end, Fore-street, away down East, in
the State of Maine.
My dear old Friend. — We've had a kind of a hurly
burly time here to-day. I did n't know but we should
burst the biler one spell; and some of us, as it was, got
scalding hot. You see, I and the President and a few
more gentlemen got into the steam-boat this morning to
go round into old Virginny to help lay the foundation of
a monument, so they should n't forget who Washington's
mother was.
When we got down along to Alexandria, the boat
hauled up to the side of the wharf awhile to let some
more folks get in, and while she lay there, I and the
President and a few more of 'em sot in the cabin reading
and chatting with one another. The President had
jest got through reading a letter from uncle Joshua
Downing, urging him very strongly to come up as fur as
Downingville when he comes on that way. And says
he, Major Downing, this uncle Joshua of yours is a real
true blue republican as I know of any where. I would
n't miss seeing him when I go down east for a whole
year's salary.
Says I, your honor, Downingville is the most thorough
going republican town there is any where in the eastern
country; and you ought not to come back till you have
visited it. Jest as I said that there was a stranger came
into the cabin and stept along up to the President, and
begun to pull off his glove. I thought there was some
mischief bruing, for his lips were kind of quivery, and I
did n't like the looks of his eyes a bit. But the President
thought he was trying to get his gloves off to shake
hands with him, and the good old man is always ready
to shake hands with a friend; so he reached out his hand
to him and smiled, and told him never to stand for the
gloves, and the words want hardly out of his mouth
when dab went one of the fellow's hands slap into the
President's face.
In a moment I levelled my umbrella at the villain's
head, and came pesky near fetching him to the floor.
Two more gentlemen then clenched him by the collar
and had him down as quick as ever you see a beef ox
knocked down with an ax. In a minute there was a
crowd round him as thick as a swarm of bees.
But, my stars, I wish you could have seen the President
jest at that minute. If you ever see a lion lying
down asleep and a man come along with a great club and
hit him a polt with all his might, and then see that lion
spring on his feet, and see the fire flash in his eyes, and
hear him roar and gnash his teeth, you might give some
sort of a guess what kind of a harrycane we had of it.
The old Gineral no sooner felt the fellow's paw in his
face than he sprung like a steel-trap, and catched his
cane and went at him. But there was such a crowd of
men there in an instant, that it as was much impossible to
get through 'em as it was for the British to get through
his pile of cotton wool bags at New-Orleans. If it had
n't been for that, I dont think but he would have kicked
the feller through the side of the steam-boat in two
minutes.
However, somehow or other the rascal got hussled out
of the boat on to the wharf, and fled like a dog that had
been stealing sheep. They have sent some officers after
him, but where they will overtake him nobody knows.
The President has got cleverly cooled down again,
and we are going on to lay the foundation of the monument.
My love to all the good folks up in Downingville.
In haste your old friend,
MAJOR JACK DOWNING.
