University of Virginia Library

PREFACE.

Arter I got my book all done, and had looked it over
every day as the printer went along with it, till I got
clear to the last page, so as to see it was done right, the
printer comes to me, and says he, we want a Preface
now. A preface! says I, what in nater is that? Why,
says he, it is something to fill up the two first pages with.
But, says I, aint the two first pages filled up yet? I
thought we had jest got through the last page; I hope
our cake aint all turning to dough again. O, it's all
right, says he, we always print the first pages last; all
we want now is the preface, to fill up them are two first
pages. Well, says I, but this is a pretty curious piece
of business, this duin work backwards. I've hearn tell
that Freemasons when they build their chimneys, begin
at the top and work down, and that's what's got the
Anti Masons so mad about it, that they are going to tear
'em all up, root and branch; but I never knew afore that
folks printed the first end of a book last. But now, says
I, Mr printer, if I've got to make this ere preface that
you tell about, what must I put into it? O, says he,
you must tell 'em something about the book; how you
come to make it, and what's in it, and what it's good

for, and the like of that. Well, says I, if that's all, I
guess I can work it out in short metre. In the first
place then, I made the book because I couldn't help it;
if I hadn't made it, I dont believe but what I should
have split. And in the next place, I made it so as to
get my letters all together, out of the way of the rascally
counterfeits, so that folks might know the good
eggs from the rotten ones. And about these counterfeits,
I see the New York Daily Advertiser says they are
going to print a book of the counterfeit letters somewhere
there or at Philadelphia. All I have to say about
it is, they are welcome to print as many letters as they
are a mind to, if they will only jest put their own names
to 'em. But he that will print his letters and put my
name to 'em, I think would steal a sheep.

And in the next place, as to what is in the book, I
guess folks will find that out fast enough, without my
telling them.

And in the last place, as to what it is good for, it will
tell folks more about politics, and how to get offices, than
ever they knew before in all their lives; and what is the
best ont, it will be pretty likely to get me in to be
President.