University of Virginia Library

LETTER XX.

Uncle Joshua, — Did you ever see tu dogs get to
quarrelling about one bone? How they will snap and
snarl about it, especially if they are hungry. Sometimes
one will get it into his mouth and hook it away
like smoke, and t'other arter him full chisel. And when
he overtakes him they'll have another scratch, and drop
the bone, and then t'other one'll get it, and off he goes
like a shot. And sometimes they both get hold together,
one at one end and one at t'other, and then sich a tugging
and growlin you never see. Well now, when they
act so, they act jest like the Portland Argus and Portland
Advertiser; two great big growlers, they are all the
time quarrelling about their Republikin, to see which
shall have it. If the Advertiser says any thing about his
republikin, the Argus snaps at it, and says 'tisn't your

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And when the Argus says any thing about his republikin,
the Advertiser flies up, and says, you no business to
be a republikin, you're a Jacksonite. And so they have
it up hill and down, bark, bark, and tug, tug, and which
'll get the republikin at last I cant tell. Sometimes they
get so mad, seems as though they'll tear each other all
to pieces, and there's forty thousand folks setting of 'em
on and hollering stooboy. Now there wasn't any need
of all this quarrel, for each of 'em had a republikin last
winter; the Argus had a democratic one, and the Advertiser
had a national one, and they got 'em mixed by
leaving off the chrissen names. And I guess it would
puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to tell 'em apart without
their names, for their republikins are as much alike as
tu peas in a pod.

The Advertiser never should say republikin alone, but
national republikin, and the Argus never should say
republikin alone, but democratic republican. And then
it seems as though each one might know his own bone,
and knaw it without quarrelling.

I thought, uncle, I'd jest tell you a little about this ere
business, because I know you always want to find out
all the kinks about politiks.