University of Virginia Library

LETTER I.

Dear Cousin Ephraim. — I now take my pen in hand
to let you know that I am well, hoping these few lines

will find you enjoying the same blessing. When I come
down to Portland I did n't think o' staying more than
three or four days, if I could sell my load of ax handles,
and mother's cheese, and cousin Nabby's bundle of
footings; but when I got here I found uncle Nat was
gone a freighting down to Quoddy, and ant Sally said
as how I should n't stir a step home till he come back
agin, which wont be this month. So here I am, loitering
about this great town, as lazy as an ox. Ax handles
dont fetch nothing, I could n't hardly give 'em away.
Tell cousin Nabby I sold her footings for nine-pence a
pair, and took it all in cotton cloth. Mother's cheese
come to five-and-sixpence; I got her half a pound of
shushon, and two ounces of snuff, and the rest in sugar.
When uncle Nat comes home I shall put my ax handles
aboard of him, and let him take 'em to Boston next
time he goes; I saw a feller tother day, that told me
they'd fetch a good price there.—I've been here now a
whole fortnight, and if I could tell ye one half I've seen,
I guess you'd stare worse than if you'd seen a catamount.
I've been to meeting, and to the museum, and
to both Legislaters, the one they call the House, and
the one they call the Sinnet. I spose uncle Joshua is
in a great hurry to hear something about these Legislaters;
for you know he's always reading newspapers,
and talking politics, when he can get any body to talk
with him. I've seen him, when he had five tons of hay
in the field well made, and a heavy shower coming up,
stand two hours disputing with squire W. about Adams
and Jackson, one calling Adams a tory and a fed, and
the other saying Jackson was a murderer and a fool;
so they kept it up, till the rain began to pour down, and
about spoilt all his hay.

Uncle Joshua may set his heart at rest about the bushel
of corn that he bet long with the post-master, that Mr
Ruggles would be Speaker of that Legislater, they call
the House; for he 's lost it, slick as a whistle. As I

had n't much to do, I 've been there every day since
they 've been a setting. A Mr White of Monmouth was
the Speaker the two first days; and I cant see why they
did n't keep him in all the time; for he seemed to be a
very clever good-natured sort of man, and he had such a
smooth pleasant way with him, that I could n't help feeling
sorry when they turned him out and put in another.
But some said he was n't put in hardly fair; and I dont
know as he was, for the first day when they were all coming
in and crowding round, there was a large fat man,
with a round, full, jolly sort of a face, I suppose he was
the captain, for he got up and commanded them to come
to order, and then he told this Mr White to whip into the
chair quicker than you could say Jack Robinson. Some
of 'em scolded about it, and I heard some, in a little
room they called the lobby, say 'twas a mean trick; but
I could n't see why, for I thought Mr White made a capital
Speaker, and when our company turns out you know
the captain always has a right to do as he 's a mind to.

They kept disputing most all the time the two first
days about a poor Mr Roberts from Waterborough.
Some said he should n't have a seat, because he adjourned
the town meeting, and was n't fairly elected. Others
said it was no such thing, and that he was elected as
fairly as any of 'em.—And Mr Roberts himself said he
was, and said he could bring men that would swear to it,
and good men too. But notwithstanding all this, when
they came to vote, they got three or four majority that
he should n't have a seat. And I thought it a needless
piece of cruelty, for they want crowded, and there was
a number of seats empty. But they would have it so,
and the poor man had to go and stand up in the lobby.

Then they disputed awhile about a Mr Fowler's having
a seat. Some said he should n't have a seat, because
when he was elected some of his votes were given for his
father. But they were more kind to him than they were
to Mr Roberts; for they voted that he should have a seat;

and I suppose it was because they thought he had a lawful
right to inherit whatever was his father's. They all
declared there was no party politics about it, and I dont
think there was; for I noticed that all who voted that Mr
Roberts should have a seat, voted that Mr Fowler should
not; and all who voted that Mr Roberts should not have
a seat, voted that Mr Fowler should. So, as they all voted
both ways, they must have acted as their consciences
told them, and I dont see how there could be any party
about it.

It 's a pity they could n't be allowed to have two speakers,
for they seemed to be very anxious to choose Mr
Ruggles and Mr Goodenow. They two had every vote,
except one, and if they had had that, I believe they would
both have been chosen; as it was, however, they both came
within a humbird's eye of it. Whether it was Mr Ruggles
that voted for Mr Goodenow, or Mr Goodenow for
Mr Ruggles, I can't exactly tell; but I rather guess it was
Mr Ruggles voted for Mr Goodenow, for he appeared to
be very glad that Mr Goodenow was elected, and went up
to him soon after Mr Goodenow took the chair, and shook
hands with him as good-natured as could be. I would
have given half my load of ax handles, if they could both
have been elected and set up there together, they would
have been so happy. But as they can't have but one
speaker at a time, and as Mr Goodenow appears to understand
the business very well, it is not likely Mr Ruggles
will be speaker any this winter. So uncle Joshua
will have to shell out his bushel of corn, and I hope it
will learn him better than to bet about politics again. If
he had not been a goose, he might have known he would
loose it, even if he had been ever so sure of getting it;
for in these politics there 's never any telling which way
the cat will jump. You know, before the last September
election, some of the papers that came to our town had
found out that Mr Hunton would have five thousand
majority of the votes. And some of the other papers had

found out that Mr Smith would have five thousand majority.
But the cat jumped 'tother way to both of 'em; for
I cant find yet as either of 'em has got any majority.
Some say Mr Hunton has got a little majority, but as far
from five thousand as I am from home. And as for Mr
Smith, they dont think he has any majority at all. You
remember, too, before I came from home, some of the
papers said how there was a majority of ten or fifteen
national republicans in the Legislater, and the other papers
said there was a pretty clever little majority of democratic
republicans. Well, now every body says it has turned
out jest as that queer little paper, called the Daily Courier,
said 't would. That paper said it was such a close
rub, it could n't hardly tell which side would beat. And it
's jest so, for they 've been here now most a fortnight acting
jest like two boys playin see-saw on a rail. First one
goes up, then 'tother; but I reckon one of the boys is
rather heaviest, for once in awhile he comes down chuck,
and throws the other up into the air as though he would
pitch him head over heels.

In that 'tother Legislater they call the Sinnet, there
has been some of the drollest carryins on that you ever
heard of. If I can get time I 'll write you something
about it, pretty soon. So I subscribe myself, in haste,
your loving cousin till death.