John heywoodes woorkes :: :: University of Virginia Library

John heywoodes woorkes

A dialogue conteynyng the number of the effectuall prouerbes in the Englishe tongue, compact in a matter concernynge two maner of maryages. With one hundred of Epigrammes: and three hundred of Epigrammes upon three hundred prouerbes: and a fifth hundred of Epigrammes. Whereunto are now newly added a syxt hundred of Epigrams by the sayde John Heywood

Heywood, John (1497?-1580?)

[section]

The Preface.

[Of mine acquayntance a certaine yong man]

ii.

iii.

iiii.

vi.

vi.

vii.

The seuenth chapiter.

viii.

ix.

xi.

xii.

xiii.

ii.

iii.

iiii.

The .v. chapiter.

vi.

vii.

viii.

ix.

xi.

The firste hundred of Epigrammes.

To the reader.

An Epygramme on this booke of Epygrammes. 1.

Of three sages. 2.

Questions answered. 3.

Of water, wine, and ale. 4.

To muche or to little. 5.

Of the senses. 6.

Of talkyng. 7.

Of heares and wyttes. 8.

A dronkard. 9.

10.

The foxe and the mayde. 10.

11.

Of an yll gouernour called Jude. 11.

12.

Of geuyng an almes. 12.

13.

Of a surfet. 13.

14.

Repugnancie in apparance. 14.

15.

The ape and the asse. 15.

16.

A foole and a wise man. 16.

17.

Of syght. 17

18.

Feigned newes. 18.

19.

Two, arme in arme. 19.

20.

Of hearyng and speakyng. 20.

21.

Of wit, will, and wisdome. 21.

22.

The wrenne, and hir birdes. 22.

23.

The maister and the man. 23.

24.

Vpon penance. 24.

25.

Jacke and his father. 25.

26.

Of a daw. 26.

27.

Of shewyng the waie. 27.

28.

A quiet neighbour. 28.

29.

Of dogges and theeues. 29.

30.

A keper of the commaundementes. 30.

31.

Of a nose. 31.

32.

Lettyng of a ferme. 32.

33.

Age and youth. 33.

34.

A rose and a nettill. 34.

35.

Of the wyues and hir husbandes waste. 35.

36.

An olde wiues boone. 36.

37.

A talke of two conies. 37.

38.

A prisoner. 38.

39.

Two blinde men. 39.

40.

Debilitee of senses. 40.

41.

A foolishe husbande. 41.

42.

A wytty wyfe. 42.

43.

Handsom handlyng. 43.

44.

A saiyng of Patche my lord cardinals foole. 44.

45.

Certaine folies. 45.

46.

Of two studentes. 46.

47.

A merie woman. 47.

48.

A louse and a flea. 48.

49.

Of him that forgat his pater noster in latine. 49.

50.

Of him that could not learne his Pater noster in Englishe. 50.

51.

Of the fist and the hart. 51.

52.

Of this woorde enough. 52.

53.

Of table play. 53.

54.

The cocke, and the hen. 54.

55.

Cheepenyng of a face of furre. 55.

56.

Biyng of showes. 56.

57.

A suspicion cleared. 57.

58.

Of spite. 58.

59.

Of the letter H. 59.

60.

Il fliyng of idelnesse. 60.

61.

A tounge and a clocke. 61.

62.

A hearer of a sermon. 62.

63.

A man without wit, strength, and cunnyng. 63.

64.

How to wishe. 64.

65.

A doubtfull demaunde of choise. 65.

66.

An olde widower and a yong mayde. 66.

67.

Gaping oysters. 67

68.

The Judge and the Juggler. 68.

69.

Of lookyng. 69.

70.

Of constancie. 70.

71.

Of a face and a witte. 71.

72.

Of blowyng. 72.

73.

To the flatterer. 73.

74.

Of contentacion. 74.

75.

Of waytyng. 75.

76.

Of fore knowlage. 76.

77.

Mistakyng an errand. 77.

78.

Of holdyng an Inne. 78.

79.

A wiues defence of hir beetill brow. 79.

80.

The shrewde wiues tounge. 80.

81.

A fooles tounge. 81.

82.

Of glas and lattise. 82.

83.

Two wisshers for two maner of mouthes. 83.

84.

Of dispraise. 84.

85.

A discharge from hipocrisie. 85.

87.

Of the foole and the gentlemans nose. 87.

87.

A foole taken for wise. 87.

88.

Thinges to forbeare. 88.

89.

Of medlars. 89.

90.

Of dwelling. 90.

91.

Of the Milner and the Sexten. 91.

92.

Of bookes and cheese. 92.

93.

Of heades. 93.

94.

The woodcocke and the daw. 94.

95.

Of few woordes. 95.

96.

Wottyng and weenyng. 96.

97.

A much like matter. 97.

98.

Wisedome and foly. 98.

99.

Of lacke 99.

100.

The weathercocke, the reede, and the wynde. 100.

Three hundred Epigrammes, vpon three hundred prouerbes

Of amendment. 1.

Wagging of beardes. 2.

Of haste. 3.

Breakyng of square. 4.

Lookyng and leapyng. 5.

Weddyng and hanging. 6.

10.

11.

Geuyng and takyng. 11.

12.

Jacke and Gill. 12.

13.

Of the ende of a wit. 13.

14.

Of bought wit. 14.

15.

Of haste and waste. 15.

16.

Makyng of malte. 16.

17.

Of an akyng eye. 17.

18.

What thing beggers choose. 18.

19.

Of robbyng. 19.

20.

Of neede and law. 20.

21.

Of beginnyng and endyng. 21.

22.

Of grace. 22.

23.

Of fore prouision. 23.

24.

Of saiyng and doyng. 24.

25.

Of treadyng on a worme. 25.

26.

Of ease in an Inne. 26.

27.

How to proue a freende. 27.

28.

Vnwise weddyng. 28.

29.

Some thyng and nothyng. 29.

30.

The sleapyng dogge. 30.

31.

Of hap. 31.

32.

Of syght and mynde. 32.

33.

Of mirth with wisdome. 33.

34.

Of holding of a nose. 34.

35.

An eye sore. 35.

36.

Of recknyng. 36.

37.

Settyng vp a candell. 37.

38.

Of cloudes and weather. 38.

39.

Of making and marryng. 39.

40.

Of byrdes and byrders. 40.

41.

Of sorowes. 41.

42.

Of feedyng and teaching. 42.

43.

Of suffiance. 43.

44.

Of him that set his hand on his money. 44.

45.

Of a horse coriyng. 45.

46.

Of shame. 46.

47.

A lordes hart and a beggers purse. 47.

48.

Of fergettyng. 48.

49.

Of the harte and the heele. 49.

50.

Praise of a man aboue a horse. 50.

51.

Of weeping. 51.

52.

Of two false knaues. 52.

53.

A hart in a hose. 53.

54.

Of creeping and goyng. 54.

55.

Of flotyng and fleetyng. 55.

56.

A man at an ebbe. 56.

57.

Syght in a mylstone. 57.

58.

Of throwyng. 58.

59.

Of store. 59.

60.

Of one in prison. 60.

61.

Saintes and deuilles. 61.

62.

Of botching. 62.

63.

Of a yeres fayre. 63.

64.

Of a cap and a head. 64.

65.

A theefe that hath no felow. 65.

66.

False measures. 66.

67.

Of cleane sweepyng. 67.

68.

Turnyng of typpettes. 68.

69.

Of theft and receite. 69.

70.

Of woorke and play. 70.

71.

Of a peinted sheathe. 71.

72.

The hare and the hound. 72.

73.

Of beggers syngyng. 73.

74.

75.

76.

77.

78.

Of shalbe and shall not be. 78.

79.

The blacke oxe. 79.

80.

Of brydlyng. 80.

81.

Mendyng and payryng. 81.

82.

Of runnyng without turnyng. 82.

83.

Biyng a pyg. 83.

84.

Hungry flies. 84.

85.

Of louyng a dog. 85.

86.

Of precious stones. 86.

87.

Of yll and good wynde. 87.

88.

Of sooth boorde. 88.

89.

Of tales tolde in the eare. 89.

90.

Of goyng. 90.

91.

Of neede. 91.

92.

Takyng hart of grasse. 92.

93.

Of nothyng and althing. 93.

94.

Couetyng and leesing. 94.

95.

Of the marche hare. 95.

96.

How god will not do for vs. 96.

97.

Of harping on a string. 97.

98.

A losse by the deuils death. 98.

99.

Of a sheepes iye. 99.

100.

Of ruse. 100.

101.

Of blinde bayard. 101.

102.

Of the spinsters thrift. 102.

103.

Of defenes. 103.

104.

Of a good hors. 104.

105.

Of waies to the wood. 105.

106.

Of one that may soone amend. 106.

107.

An ill hearer. 107.

108.

Of a good face. 108.

109.

A sharpe thorne. 109.

110.

Commyng and goyng. 110.

111.

The better cumth seldome. 111.

112.

One driueth out an other. 112.

113.

Of burden. 113.

114.

Runnyng and goyng. 114.

115.

A locke of tooles. 115.

116.

Tast of a mans tales. 116.

117.

Of a cattes looke. 117.

118.

One put out of a creede. 118.

119.

All that may be won of the fox. 119.

120.

The suertie of some seale. 120.

121.

The hares goyng away. 121.

122.

Judgement of colours. 122.

123.

Hap and wit. 123.

124.

Of fortune to fooles. 124.

125.

Of loosers wordes. 125.

126.

Gettyng and spendyng. 126.

127.

Matters not leyde a water. 127.

128.

Measure. 128.

129.

Goyng beyonde the wall. 129.

130.

Of harme. 130.

131.

Wit kept by warmth. 131.

132.

Light comyng and goyng. 132.

133.

Of kissing. 133.

134.

Of leaue. 134.

135.

God in the almery. 135.

136.

The diuell in thorologe. 136.

137.

The best. 137.

138.

The woorst. 138.

139.

Lastyng of woonder. 139.

140.

Of a galde horse. 140.

141.

Good begynnyng and ende. 141.

142.

The still soowe. 142

143.

Of stumblyng. 143.

144.

Of the shoe and the sole. 144.

145.

Myght and ryght. 145.

146.

Byrth and teaching. 146.

147.

Of hangyng. 147.

148.

An olde knaue. 148.

149.

A mans heare and his whood. 149.

150.

Geynes and losses. 150.

151.

Theeues fallyng out. 151.

152.

Of a shorne face. 152.

153.

A benche whistler. 153.

154.

What god sayde to one. 154.

155.

Boowyng and breaking. 155.

156.

Of wrestlyng. 156.

157.

God and the church. 157.

158.

Of one tale in all men tolde. 158.

159.

Of malkin. 159.

160.

Rashe ventringe. 160.

161.

162.

163.

164.

165.

Eatyng of flies. 165.

166.

Of the foxes preaching. 166.

167.

Of poore mens soules. 167.

168.

Promise of lycence. 168.

169.

Of little saiyng. 169.

170.

Of the tyde. 170.

171.

Praise of good ende. 171.

172.

Of hearyng and iudgeyng. 172.

173.

A lesson for lookyng. 173.

174.

Of a womans lines. 174.

175.

The crowe called white. 175.

176.

Of the olde foole. 176.

177.

Of a beane. 177.

178.

The gyft of a pyg. 178.

179.

Chaunge and robery. 179.

180.

Of fayre woordes. 180.

181.

Of laughyng. 181.

182.

Of seekyng. 182.

183.

Of a head vnder a gyrdell. 183.

184.

Of wyde shootyng. 184.

185.

The fooles bolte. 185.

186.

187.

188.

189.

190.

191.

192.

193.

194.

Of Mortimers sow. 194.

195.

Of fleabytyng. 195.

196.

The breechelesse maister. 196.

197.

Of meate and sauce. 197.

198.

Of proferd seruice. 198.

199.

Of common medlers. 199.

200.

Of enough and a feast. 200.

201.

Of plaine fashion. 201.

202.

Of him that cumth last. 202.

203.

Of striuyng. 203.

204.

Of sittyng. 204.

205.

Of writyng to frendes. 205.

206.

Of great clarkes. 206.

207.

208.

209.

210.

211.

212.

213.

Of an ill stake. 213.

214.

Of suffraunce. 214.

215.

Of misrecknyng. 215.

216.

Of euen recknyng. 216.

217.

Of takyng. 217.

218.

Of mum. 218.

219.

Of stoppyng a mouth. 219.

220.

Of castyng. 220.

221.

Of Jacke. 221.

222.

Of the winking Cat. 222.

223.

Of saying nay. 223.

224.

Of the pie and crowe. 224.

225.

Of saying nought but mum. 225.

226.

Of tounge and wit. 226.

227.

228.

229.

230.

231.

Of the winde blowyng. 231.

232.

Of far and nie. 232.

233.

Of thynstep. 233.

233.

Of smaule and greate. 233.

234.

Of the keyse. 234.

236.

Of prouender. 236.

237.

Of sum here and there. 237.

238.

Of the persons lemman. 238.

239.

Of il weede. 239.

240.

Of synkyng. 240.

241.

Of good syluer. 241.

242.

Of the proude cocke. 242

243.

Of fat in the fyre. 243.

244.

Of bowe bent. 244.

245.

Of gods beynge. 245.

246.

Of kinsfolke. 246.

247.

Of Freendshippe. 247.

248.

Of nothinge. 248.

249.

Of pouertee. 249.

250.

Of eares glowyng. 250.

251.

Of poste and pyller. 251.

252.

Of may be. 252.

253.

Of vse. 253.

254.

[Folly to spurne or kycke ageynst the harde wall.]

255.

Of tiyng the bell. 255.

256.

Of had I wyst. 256.

257.

Of daunsyng. 257.

258.

Of the cat eatyng fyshe. 258.

259.

Of the blinde. 259.

260.

Of the woorst and best. 260.

261.

262.

263.

264.

265.

266.

267.

268.

Of the hot yron. 268.

269.

Of the purse. 269.

270.

Of many handes. 270.

271.

Of the lothe stake. 271.

272.

273.

274.

275.

276.

Of one had in the wynde. 276.

277.

Of one yll shod. 277.

278.

Of all and naught. 278.

279.

Of warnyng. 279.

280.

Of byrdes flowne. 280.

281.

Of leauyng. 281.

282.

Of settyng in foote. 282.

283.

Of fast byndyng. 283.

284.

Of hap. 284.

285.

Of tyme. 285.

286.

Of the fat hog. 286.

287.

The bale and boote. 287.

288.

Of sowes. 288.

289.

Of makyng a crosse. 289.

290.

Of a pad. 290.

281.

Of long standyng. 281.

282.

293.

294.

295.

296.

297.

Of nought laide downe. 297.

298.

Of syght and fare. 298.

299.

Of the pot not broken. 299.

300.

Of late and neuer. 300.

The fifth hundred of Epygrams.

To the reader.

Of weenyng and wottyng. I.

Of a man of law and his clientes. 2.

An aduise against mockyng. 3.

Of itchyng and smartyng. 4.

Of a sharpe tunge. 5.

Of a horse. 6.

Of a butler and a hors. 7.

Of brasse. 8.

Of a louces dwellyng place. 9.

10.

Of a straunge glasse. 10.

11.

Of driuyng and drawyng. 11.

12.

Of longe sutes. 12.

13.

Of lightnesse. 13.

14.

Of a disagreement. 14.

15.

Of chepenyng of conies. 15.

16.

Of a wyfe hauyng childe. 16.

17.

Of a bachiler and a mayde. 17.

18.

Of shorte payment. 18.

19.

Whence certaine thinges came fyrst. 19.

20.

Of furred and lyned gownes. 20.

21.

Of a wyne drawer. 21.

22.

Shorte checkes betwene a man and his wyfe. 22.

23.

Of a woman deckt in two coloures. 23.

24.

Of vnsweete breath. 24.

25.

Of clyppyng and clensyng. 25.

26.

Of a man and his wyues departyng. 26.

27.

An account of a mans children. 27.

28.

Of a woman of Huntington. 28.

29.

Of a laundres. 29.

Of a cutter of purslane.

31.

Of one standyng in his owne conceite. 31.

32.

Of one that hard without eares. 32.

33.

Of an archers rouyng. 33.

34.

Of perill to one by the number of three. 34.

35.

Of gloria patri. 35.

36.

Of a dyar. 36.

37.

Of a Jugge. 37.

38.

Of the three cuppes. 38.

39.

Of brasse and Iron. 39.

40.

Of Jacke and John. 40

41.

42.

43.

44.

45.

Of louinge of a goose. 45.

46.

Of harpe stringes. 46.

47.

Of fortune. 47.

48.

Of choyce. 48.

49.

Of a false bragge.

50.

Of liyng and true saiyng. 50.

51.

Of a dawe pate. 51.

52.

Of water and wyne. 52.

53.

Betwene dogges and a deere. 53.

54.

Of twelue and one. 54.

55.

Of verdingales. 55.

56.

Preceptes of a man to his wyfe. 56.

57.

Of an expert man. 57.

58.

Of deliuerance from yll. 58.

59.

Of cuttyng of the herbe tyme. 59.

60.

Of one fearyng the swette. 60.

61.

Of one thinkyng on an other. 61.

62.

Of one beyng at a poynt. 62.

63.

Of testons. 63.

64.

Of redde Testons. 64.

65.

Of stampyng. 65.

Of John longe the carier.

67.

Of turnyng. 67.

68.

Of master Carter. 68.

69.

Of goyng farre. 69.

70.

How money is made lame. 70.

71.

Of an olde woer. 71.

72.

Of a yong wooer. 72.

73.

Of weakenesse and strength. 73.

74.

Warnyng of pride. 74.

75.

Of pacience. 75.

76.

Of pleasyng. 76.

77.

Of a hande gonne and a hande. 77.

78.

Of brasse and siluer. 78.

79.

Of difference betwene wise men and fooles. 79.

80.

Of a pithy witte. 80.

81.

Of choise to be a wise man or a foole. 81.

82.

Of a knightes carterly coller. 82.

83.

Of males and male horses. 83.

84.

A man discommended. 84.

85.

Of runnyng. 85.

86.

Of polling. 86.

87.

Of plate lente forth. 87.

88.

Of a man of law and his wife. 88.

89.

Of pennes and pence. 89.

90.

Of a womans thinne tounge. 90.

91.

Of drinkyng to a man. 91.

92.

Of runnyng at Tilte. 92.

93.

Of expence. 93.

94.

Of fraying of babes. 94.

95.

Of Reedes and Okes. 95.

96.

Of biyng a morter. 96.

97.

Of a stepmother. 97.

98.

Of a lyar. 98.

99.

Of tunges and pinsons. 99.

100.

Of Heywood. 100.

A sixt hundred of Epigrammes.

To the reader.

Of Rebellion. 1.

Of toung, mouth, teeth, and wisdome. 2.

Of syluer to be borowed. 3.

Of an vnkyndly march. 4.

Of goyng to heauen and hell. 5.

Of the high way and a maydes face. 6.

Of one that would be praysed. 7.

Of lookyng. 8.

Of a hare a foote. 9.

10.

Of Hob and John. 10.

11.

Of seekyng a daw. 11.

12.

Of saiyng grace. 12.

13.

Of Dette. 13.

14.

Of stepping. 14.

15.

Of wrytyng a gentleman. 15.

16.

Of a wyues affection to hir husband. 16.

17.

Of a mans thrift. 17.

18.

Of learnyng the lawe. 18.

19.

Of good wyll and good deedes. 19.

20.

Of Newgate wyndowes. 20.

21.

Of treadyng a shooe awrye. 21.

22.

Of a fayre soowe. 22.

23.

24.

25.

26.

27.

A taunt of a wife to her husband. 27.

28.

Of pride. 28.

29.

To walke, talke, drinke or sleape. 29.

30.

Of a santhorne and light. 30.

31.

Of a crie. 31.

32.

Of a watermans rowyng. 32.

33.

Of tunge and witte. 33.

34.

Of a peinter. 34.

35.

Of Peter and Poll. 35.

36.

Of losse of helth and wealth.. 36.

37.

Of lookyng out. 37.

38.

Of chafyng disshes. 38.

39.

Of hanging and standyng. 39.

40.

Of a mans head and the Pillery. 40.

41.

A prayse of one. 41.

42.

Of diuers bandes. 42.

43.

Of couenantes. &c. 43.

44.

Of promise and paiment. 44.

45.

Of one that dare not steale. 45.

46.

Of the creation of the deuils dam. 46.

47.

Of reward to a seruyng man. 47.

48.

Two properties of a seruaunt. 48.

49.

Of toughnes and tendernes. 49.

50.

A question to a childe. 50.

51.

Seekyng for a dwellyng place. 51.

52.

Of three soules. 52.

53.

Of one saying of a hat. 53.

54.

Of biyng a coate. 54.

55.

Of paryng neyles. 55.

56.

Of a mans head. 56.

57.

Of money in ones purse. 57.

58.

Of freendes and foes. 58.

59.

Of diffrence in sondry thinges. 59.

60.

Of callyng one flebergebit. 60.

61.

Of crowes breedyng. 61.

62.

Of Powles. 62.

63.

Of a crowe keper. 63.

64.

65.

66.

67.

68.

69.

70.

71.

72.

73.

74.

Of Parsnip seede. 74.

75.

Of Annesse seede. 75.

76.

Of lettis seede. 76.

77.

Of good newes to a man. 77.

78.

Of least and most mastrie. 78.

79.

Of a man and a clocke. 79.

80.

Of a spare horse. 80.

81.

Of a husband hangd. 81.

82.

Of Horsadowne. 82.

83.

Of a Cocke and a Capon. 83.

84.

Of disdeigne. 84.

85.

Of Peter. 85.

86.

Of one in Newgate. 86.

87.

Of sauyng of shooes. 87.

88.

Of hogstowne. 88.

89.

Of coleprophet. 89.

90.

Of thinges vnlyke. 90.

91.

Of the gentlenesse of a wyfe. 91.

92.

Of catchyng a fly. 92.

93.

Of a horse wearyng great breeches. 93.

94.

Of a recknyng at a shotte. 94.

95.

Of vse. 95.

96.

Of one askyng for sheepe. 96.

97.

Of walkyng and talkyng. 97.

98.

Of seeyng and feelyng money. 98.

99.

Of takyng thinges wronge. 99.

100.

Of a number of rattes mistaken for diuelles in a mans sloppes. 100.

Collapse All | Expand All expand section

The .v. chapiter.

This olde woman the next daie after this night,
Stale home to me, secretly as she might.
To talke with me. In secrete counsell (she saide)
Of thinges which in no wise might be bewraied.
We twayne are one to many (quoth I) for men say,
Three maie a kepe counsayle, if two be away.
But all that ye speake, vnmeete againe to tell,
I will say nought but mum, and mum is counsell.
Well then (quoth she) herein auoydyng all feares,
Auoyd your children. small pitchers haue wide eares.
Whiche doone (she saide) I haue a husband, ye know,
Whom I made of nought, as the thing self dooth show.
And for these two causes onely him I tooke.
First, that for my loue, he should louingly looke,
In all kynd of cause, that loue ingender might,
To loue and cherishe me by daie and by night.
Secondly, the substance, whiche I to him brought,
He rather should augment, than bring to nought,
But now my good, shall both be spent, ye shall see,
And it in spendyng soole instrument shall bee
Of my destruction, by spendyng it on suche
As shall make him destroy me: I feare this muche.

He maketh hauok. and setteth cocke on the hoope.
He is so laueis, the stocke beginneth to droope.
And as for gaine is deade, and layde in tumbe,
Whan he should get ought, eche fynger is a thumbe,
Eche of his iointes against other iustles,
As handsomly as a beare picketh muscles.
Flattryng knaues & fleryng queanes beyng the marke.
Hang on his sleeue, many hands make light warke.
He hath his haukes in the mew. but make ye sure,
With emptie handes men maie no haukes allure.
There is a nest of chickens, whiche he doth brood,
That will sure make his heare grow through his hood.
They can currifauell, and make faire wether,
Whyle they cut large thongs of other mens lether.
He maketh his marts with marchants likely,
To bryng a shillyng to .ix. pens quickely.
If he holde on a while, as he begins,
We shall see him proue a marchaunt of eele skins.
A marchaunt without either money or ware.
But all be bugs woords, that I speake to spare.
Better spare at brym than at bottem, say I.
Euer spare and euer bare (saith he) by and by.
Spend, and god shall send (saieth he) saith tholde ballet,
What sendth he (saie I) a staffe and a wallet.
Than vp gothe his staffe, to send me a loufe.
He is at three woords vp in the house roufe.
And herein to grow (quoth she) to conclusion,
I praie your ayde, to auoid this confusion.
And for counsaile herein, I thought to haue gon,
To that cunnyng man, our curate sir Iohn.
But this kept me backe, I haue herd now and then,
The greattest clerkes be not the wysest men.
I thynk (quoth I) who euer that terme began,
Was neither great clerke, nor the greatest wise man.

In your rennyng from him to me, ye runne
Out of gods blessing into the warme sunne.
Where the blynd leadth the blynd, both fall in the dike,
And blynde be we both, if we thinke vs his lyke.
Folke show much foly, when things should be sped.
To ren to the foote, that maie go to the hed.
Sens he best can and most ought to dooe it,
I feare not, but he will, if ye wyll woo it.
There is one let (quoth she) mo than I spake on.
My husband and he be so great, that the ton
Can not pisse, but the tother must let a fart.
Choose we him aparty, than farewell my part.
We shall so part stake, that I shall lese the hole.
Folke say of olde, the shoe will holde with the sole.
Shall I trust him then? nay in trust is treason.
But I trust you, and come to you this season
To here me, and tell me, what waie ye thinke best,
To hem in my husbande, and set me in rest.
If ye minde (quoth I) a conquest to make
Ouer your husband, no man maie vndertake
To bryng you to ease, nor the matter amende.
Except ye bring him to weare a cocks comb at ende,
For take that your husband were, as ye take him,
As I take him not, as your tale would make him.
Yet were contencion lyke to do nought in this,
But kepe him nought, and make him woors then he is,
But in this complaint, for counsele quicke and cleere,
A few prouerbes for principles, leat vs heere.
Who that maie not as they wolde, will as they maie.
And this to this, they that are bound must obaie:
Foly it is to spourne against a pricke,
To stryue against the streme, to winche or kicke
Against the hard wall. By this ye maie see.
Beyng bound to obedience, as ye bee,

And also ouermacht, suffraunce is your daunce.
He maie ouermatche me (quoth she) perchaunce
In strength of bodie, but my tung is a lym,
To matche and to vexe euery vayne of him.
Toung breaketh bone, it selfe hauyng none (quoth I)
If the winde stande in that doore, it standth awry.
The perill of pratyng out of tune by note,
Telth vs, that a good bestyll is woorth a grote.
In beyng your owne foe, you spin a fayre threede.
Aduyse ye well, for here dooth all ly and bleede,
Flee thattemtyng of extremities all.
Folke saie, better syt styll than ryse and fall.
For little more or lesse no debate make,
At euery dogs barke, seeme not to awake.
And where the small with the great, can not agree,
The weaker goeth to the potte, we all daie see.
So that alwaie the bygger eateth the beane.
Ye can nought wyn, by any wayward meane.
Where the hedge is lowest, men maie soonest ouer,
Be silent. Leat not your toung roon at rouer.
Sens by stryfe, ye maie lose, and can not wyn,
Suffer. It is good slepyng in a whole skyn.
If he chide, kepe you byll vnder wyng muet.
Chatting to chiding is not woorth a chuet.
We see many tymes, might ouercomth right.
Were not you as good than to say, the crow is whight.
And so rather let faire woordes make fooles fayne,
Than be plaine without pletes, & plant your owne payne.
For were ye as plaine as dunstable hy waie.
Yet should ye that waie rather breake a loue daie,
Than make one thus though ye perfytely knew,
All that ye coniecture to be proued trew,
Yet better dissemble it, and shake it of,
Than to broide him with it in earnest or scof.

If he plaie falsehed in felowship, plaie yee,
See me, and see me not. to woorst part to flee.
Why thinke ye me so whyte lyuerd (quoth shee)
That I will be toung tyed? Naie I warrant yee.
They that will be afraid of euery farte,
Must go far to pisse. Well (quoth I) your parte
Is to suffre (I saie) For ye shall preeue.
Taunts appease not things, they rather agreeue,
But for yll company, or expense extreeme,
I here no man doubte, so far as ye deeme.
And there is no fyre without some smoke, we see.
Well well, make no fyre, reyse no smoke (sayd shee)
What cloke for the rayne so euer ye bryng mee,
My selfe can tell best, where my shooe doth wryng mee.
But as ye saie, where fyre is, smoke will appeere.
And so hath it doone, For I did lately heere,
How flek and his make, vse their secrete hauntyng,
By one byrd, that in mine eare was late chauntyng.
One swalowe maketh not sommer (said I) men saie.
I haue (quoth she) mo blocks in his waie to laie.
For further encrease of suspicion of yls,
Besyde his iettyng into the towne, to his gyls,
With calets he consumeth him selfe and my goodes,
Sometyme in the feelds, sometyme in the woodes.
Some here and see him, whom he hereth nor seeth not.
But feelds haue eies, and woodes haue eares, ye wot.
And also on my maydes he is euer tootyng.
Can ye iudge a man (quoth I) by his lookyng?
What, a cat maie looke on a king, ye know.
My cats leeryng looke (quoth she) at fyrst show.
Shewth me, that my cat gothe a catterwawyng.
And specially by his maner of drawyng,
To Madge my faire maide. for may he come ny her.
He must nedes basse hir, as he comth by her.

He loueth well sheeps flesh, that wets his bred in the wul,
If he leaue it not, we haue a crow to pul.
He loueth hir better at the sole of the foote,
Than euer he loued me at the hert roote.
It is a foule byrd, that fyleth his owne nest.
I wold haue him liue as gods lawe hath exprest.
And leaue lewde tickyng. he that will none ill doo.
Must do nothyng, that belongeth therto.
To ticke and laughe with me, he hath laufull leeue.
To that I saide nought but laught in my sleeue.
But whan she seemed to be fixed in mynde,
Rather to seeke for that she was lothe to fynde,
Than leaue that seekyng, by whiche she might fynd ease,
I fainde this fancy to feele how it would please.
Will ye do well (quoth I) take peyne to watche him.
And if ye chaunce in aduoutrie to catche him,
Then haue ye him on the hyp, or on the hyrdell.
Then haue ye his head fast vnder your gyrdell.
Where your wurds now do but rub him on the gall.
That deede without woords shall driue him to the wall.
And further than the wall he can not go.
But must submit him selfe, and if it hap so,
That at ende of your watche, he gyltles apeere,
Then all grudge, growne by ielowsie, taketh end cleere.
Of all folkes I maie woorst watche him (said she)
For of all folks him selfe most watcheth me.
I shall as soone trie him or take him this waie,
As dryue a top ouer a tyeld house, no naie.
I maie kepe corners or holowe trees with thowle,
This seuen yeres, daie and night to watche a bowle.
Before I shall catche him with vndoubted euill.
He must haue a long spoone, shall eate with the diuell.
And the deuill is no falser then is hee.
I haue heard tell, it had neede to bee.

A wyly mouse that should breede in the cats eare.
Shall I get within him than? nay ware that geare.
It is harde haltyng before a creeple ye wot.
A falser water drinker there liueth not.
Whan he hunteth a doe, that he can not avow,
All dogs barke not at him, I warrant yow.
Namely not I, I saie, though as I sayde.
He somtyme, though seldome, by some be bewrayde.
Close huntyng (quoth I) the good hunter alowth.
But be your husband neuer so styll of mouth,
If ye can hunt, and will stand at receite.
Your maide examinde, maketh him open streite.
That were (quoth she) as of my truth to make preefe,
To axe my felow whether I be a theefe.
They cleaue together like burs. that way I shall
Pike out no more, than out of the stone wall.
Than lyke ye not to watche him for wife nor mayde.
No (quoth she) Nor I (quoth I) what euer I sayde.
And I mislyke not onely your watche in vayne.
But also if ye tooke him. what could ye gayne?
From suspicion to knowlage of yll. forsoothe
Coulde make ye dooe, but as the flounder doothe,
Leape out of the friyng pan into the fyre.
And chaunge from yll peyn to wurs is worth small hyre.
Let tyme trie. Tyme tryeth trouth in euery doubt.
And deeme the best, till time hath tryde the trouth out.
And reason saieth, make not two sorowes of one,
But ye make ten sorowes where reason maketh none.
For where reason (as I saide) wylth you to winke,
(Although all were proued as yll as ye thinke)
Contrary to reason ye stampe and ye stare.
Ye fret and ye fume as mad as a marche hare.
Without proofe to his reproofe present or past.
But by suche reporte, as moste proue lies at last.

And here gothe the hare awaie, for ye iudge all,
And iudge the woorst in all, er proofe in ought fall.
But blinde men should iudge no colours: by olde sause,
And folk oft tymes ar most blind in their owne cause,
The blynde eate many flies. Howbeit the fancy,
Of your blindnesse comth not of ignorancy.
Ye coulde tell an other herein the best waie.
But it is as folke dooe, and not as folke saie.
For they saie, saiyng and dooyng are two things,
To defende daunger that double dealyng brynges.
As ye can seeme wise in woords, be wise in deede.
That is (quoth she) sooner said then doone, I dreede.
But me thinkth your counsell weith in the whole,
To make me put my fynger in a hole.
And so by suffrance to be so lyther,
In my house to lay fyre and tow together.
But if they fyre me, some of them shall wyn
More towe on their distaues, than they can well spyn.
And the best of them shall haue both their hands full.
Bolster or pillow for me, be whose wull.
I will not beare the diuels sacke, by saint Audry.
For concelyng suspicion of their baudry.
I feare fals measures, or els I were a chylde.
For they that thinke none yll, are soonest begylde.
And thus though muche water goeth by the myll,
That the miller knowth not of, yet I will
Cast what may scape, and as though I did fynde it.
With the clacke of my myll, to fyne meale grynde it.
And sure ere I take any rest in effect,
I must banishe my maydes suche as I suspect.
Better it be doone than wishe it had bene doone.
As good vndoone (quoth I) as doo it to soone.
Well (quoth she) till soone, fare ye well, and this
Keepe ye as secrete, as ye thinke meete is.

Out at doores went she herewith. and hereupon
In at doores came he foorthwith as she was gon.
And without any temprate protestacion,
Thus he began, in waie of exclamacion.