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John heywoodes woorkes

A dialogue conteynyng the number of the effectuall prouerbes in the Englishe tongue, compact in a matter concernynge two maner of maryages. With one hundred of Epigrammes: and three hundred of Epigrammes upon three hundred prouerbes: and a fifth hundred of Epigrammes. Whereunto are now newly added a syxt hundred of Epigrams by the sayde John Heywood
Heywood, John (1497?-1580?)

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[section]
  
The Preface.
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[Of mine acquayntance a certaine yong man]
collapse section1. 
The fyrst parte.
 i. 
The .i. chapiter.
 ii. 
The .ii. chapiter.
 iii. 
The .iij. chapter.
 iiii. 
The .iiij. Chapter.
 vi. 
The .vi. chapiter.
 vi. 
The .vi. chapiter.
 vii. 
The seuenth chapiter.
 viii. 
The .viii. chapiter.
 ix. 
The ix. chapiter.
 x. 
The .x. chapiter.
 xi. 
The .xi. chapiter.
 xii. 
The .xii. chapiter.
 xiii. 
The .xiii. chapiter.
collapse section2. 
The seconde parte.
 i. 
The .i. chapiter.
 ii. 
The .ii. chapiter.
 iii. 
The. iii. chapiter.
 iiii. 
The .iiii. chapiter.
  
[section]
  
[section]
 v. 
The .v. chapiter.
 vi. 
The .vi. chapiter.
 vii. 
The .vii. chapiter.
 viii. 
The .viii. chapiter.
 ix. 
The .ix. chapiter.
 x. 
The. x. chapiter.
 xi. 
The. xi. chapiter.
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The firste hundred of Epigrammes.
  
To the reader.
 1. 
An Epygramme on this booke of Epygrammes. 1.
 2. 
Of three sages. 2.
 3. 
Questions answered. 3.
 4. 
Of water, wine, and ale. 4.
 5. 
To muche or to little. 5.
 6. 
Of the senses. 6.
 7. 
Of talkyng. 7.
 8. 
Of heares and wyttes. 8.
 9. 
A dronkard. 9.
 10. 
The foxe and the mayde. 10.
 11. 
Of an yll gouernour called Jude. 11.
 12. 
Of geuyng an almes. 12.
 13. 
Of a surfet. 13.
 14. 
Repugnancie in apparance. 14.
 15. 
The ape and the asse. 15.
 16. 
A foole and a wise man. 16.
 17. 
Of syght. 17
 18. 
Feigned newes. 18.
 19. 
Two, arme in arme. 19.
 20. 
Of hearyng and speakyng. 20.
 21. 
Of wit, will, and wisdome. 21.
 22. 
The wrenne, and hir birdes. 22.
 23. 
The maister and the man. 23.
 24. 
Vpon penance. 24.
 25. 
Jacke and his father. 25.
 26. 
Of a daw. 26.
 27. 
Of shewyng the waie. 27.
 28. 
A quiet neighbour. 28.
 29. 
Of dogges and theeues. 29.
 30. 
A keper of the commaundementes. 30.
 31. 
Of a nose. 31.
 32. 
Lettyng of a ferme. 32.
 33. 
Age and youth. 33.
 34. 
A rose and a nettill. 34.
 35. 
Of the wyues and hir husbandes waste. 35.
 36. 
An olde wiues boone. 36.
 37. 
A talke of two conies. 37.
 38. 
A prisoner. 38.
 39. 
Two blinde men. 39.
 40. 
Debilitee of senses. 40.
 41. 
A foolishe husbande. 41.
 42. 
A wytty wyfe. 42.
 43. 
Handsom handlyng. 43.
 44. 
A saiyng of Patche my lord cardinals foole. 44.
 45. 
Certaine folies. 45.
 46. 
Of two studentes. 46.
 47. 
A merie woman. 47.
 48. 
A louse and a flea. 48.
 49. 
Of him that forgat his pater noster in latine. 49.
 50. 
Of him that could not learne his Pater noster in Englishe. 50.
 51. 
Of the fist and the hart. 51.
 52. 
Of this woorde enough. 52.
 53. 
Of table play. 53.
 54. 
The cocke, and the hen. 54.
 55. 
Cheepenyng of a face of furre. 55.
 56. 
Biyng of showes. 56.
 57. 
A suspicion cleared. 57.
 58. 
Of spite. 58.
 59. 
Of the letter H. 59.
 60. 
Il fliyng of idelnesse. 60.
 61. 
A tounge and a clocke. 61.
 62. 
A hearer of a sermon. 62.
 63. 
A man without wit, strength, and cunnyng. 63.
 64. 
How to wishe. 64.
 65. 
A doubtfull demaunde of choise. 65.
 66. 
An olde widower and a yong mayde. 66.
 67. 
Gaping oysters. 67
 68. 
The Judge and the Juggler. 68.
 69. 
Of lookyng. 69.
 70. 
Of constancie. 70.
 71. 
Of a face and a witte. 71.
 72. 
Of blowyng. 72.
 73. 
To the flatterer. 73.
 74. 
Of contentacion. 74.
 75. 
Of waytyng. 75.
 76. 
Of fore knowlage. 76.
 77. 
Mistakyng an errand. 77.
 78. 
Of holdyng an Inne. 78.
 79. 
A wiues defence of hir beetill brow. 79.
 80. 
The shrewde wiues tounge. 80.
 81. 
A fooles tounge. 81.
 82. 
Of glas and lattise. 82.
 83. 
Two wisshers for two maner of mouthes. 83.
 84. 
Of dispraise. 84.
 85. 
A discharge from hipocrisie. 85.
 87. 
Of the foole and the gentlemans nose. 87.
 87. 
A foole taken for wise. 87.
 88. 
Thinges to forbeare. 88.
 89. 
Of medlars. 89.
 90. 
Of dwelling. 90.
 91. 
Of the Milner and the Sexten. 91.
 92. 
Of bookes and cheese. 92.
 93. 
Of heades. 93.
 94. 
The woodcocke and the daw. 94.
 95. 
Of few woordes. 95.
 96. 
Wottyng and weenyng. 96.
 97. 
A much like matter. 97.
 98. 
Wisedome and foly. 98.
 99. 
Of lacke 99.
 100. 
The weathercocke, the reede, and the wynde. 100.
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Three hundred Epigrammes, vpon three hundred prouerbes
 1. 
Of amendment. 1.
 2. 
Wagging of beardes. 2.
 3. 
Of haste. 3.
 4. 
Breakyng of square. 4.
 5. 
Lookyng and leapyng. 5.
 6. 
Weddyng and hanging. 6.
 7. 
Of delay. 7.
 8. 
Of wittes. 8.
 9. 
No lacke in loue. 9.
 10. 
Of homely home. 10.
 11. 
Geuyng and takyng. 11.
 12. 
Jacke and Gill. 12.
 13. 
Of the ende of a wit. 13.
 14. 
Of bought wit. 14.
 15. 
Of haste and waste. 15.
 16. 
Makyng of malte. 16.
 17. 
Of an akyng eye. 17.
 18. 
What thing beggers choose. 18.
 19. 
Of robbyng. 19.
 20. 
Of neede and law. 20.
 21. 
Of beginnyng and endyng. 21.
 22. 
Of grace. 22.
 23. 
Of fore prouision. 23.
 24. 
Of saiyng and doyng. 24.
 25. 
Of treadyng on a worme. 25.
 26. 
Of ease in an Inne. 26.
 27. 
How to proue a freende. 27.
 28. 
Vnwise weddyng. 28.
 29. 
Some thyng and nothyng. 29.
 30. 
The sleapyng dogge. 30.
 31. 
Of hap. 31.
 32. 
Of syght and mynde. 32.
 33. 
Of mirth with wisdome. 33.
 34. 
Of holding of a nose. 34.
 35. 
An eye sore. 35.
 36. 
Of recknyng. 36.
 37. 
Settyng vp a candell. 37.
 38. 
Of cloudes and weather. 38.
 39. 
Of making and marryng. 39.
 40. 
Of byrdes and byrders. 40.
 41. 
Of sorowes. 41.
 42. 
Of feedyng and teaching. 42.
 43. 
Of suffiance. 43.
 44. 
Of him that set his hand on his money. 44.
 45. 
Of a horse coriyng. 45.
 46. 
Of shame. 46.
 47. 
A lordes hart and a beggers purse. 47.
 48. 
Of fergettyng. 48.
 49. 
Of the harte and the heele. 49.
 50. 
Praise of a man aboue a horse. 50.
 51. 
Of weeping. 51.
 52. 
Of two false knaues. 52.
 53. 
A hart in a hose. 53.
 54. 
Of creeping and goyng. 54.
 55. 
Of flotyng and fleetyng. 55.
 56. 
A man at an ebbe. 56.
 57. 
Syght in a mylstone. 57.
 58. 
Of throwyng. 58.
 59. 
Of store. 59.
 60. 
Of one in prison. 60.
 61. 
Saintes and deuilles. 61.
 62. 
Of botching. 62.
 63. 
Of a yeres fayre. 63.
 64. 
Of a cap and a head. 64.
 65. 
A theefe that hath no felow. 65.
 66. 
False measures. 66.
 67. 
Of cleane sweepyng. 67.
 68. 
Turnyng of typpettes. 68.
 69. 
Of theft and receite. 69.
 70. 
Of woorke and play. 70.
 71. 
Of a peinted sheathe. 71.
 72. 
The hare and the hound. 72.
 73. 
Of beggers syngyng. 73.
 74. 
Of two faces. 74.
 75. 
Of beggyng. 75.
 76. 
Of nothing. 76.
 77. 
Of ventring. 77.
 78. 
Of shalbe and shall not be. 78.
 79. 
The blacke oxe. 79.
 80. 
Of brydlyng. 80.
 81. 
Mendyng and payryng. 81.
 82. 
Of runnyng without turnyng. 82.
 83. 
Biyng a pyg. 83.
 84. 
Hungry flies. 84.
 85. 
Of louyng a dog. 85.
 86. 
Of precious stones. 86.
 87. 
Of yll and good wynde. 87.
 88. 
Of sooth boorde. 88.
 89. 
Of tales tolde in the eare. 89.
 90. 
Of goyng. 90.
 91. 
Of neede. 91.
 92. 
Takyng hart of grasse. 92.
 93. 
Of nothyng and althing. 93.
 94. 
Couetyng and leesing. 94.
 95. 
Of the marche hare. 95.
 96. 
How god will not do for vs. 96.
 97. 
Of harping on a string. 97.
 98. 
A losse by the deuils death. 98.
 99. 
Of a sheepes iye. 99.
 100. 
Of ruse. 100.
 101. 
Of blinde bayard. 101.
 102. 
Of the spinsters thrift. 102.
 103. 
Of defenes. 103.
 104. 
Of a good hors. 104.
 105. 
Of waies to the wood. 105.
 106. 
Of one that may soone amend. 106.
 107. 
An ill hearer. 107.
 108. 
Of a good face. 108.
 109. 
A sharpe thorne. 109.
 110. 
Commyng and goyng. 110.
 111. 
The better cumth seldome. 111.
 112. 
One driueth out an other. 112.
 113. 
Of burden. 113.
 114. 
Runnyng and goyng. 114.
 115. 
A locke of tooles. 115.
 116. 
Tast of a mans tales. 116.
 117. 
Of a cattes looke. 117.
 118. 
One put out of a creede. 118.
 119. 
All that may be won of the fox. 119.
 120. 
The suertie of some seale. 120.
 121. 
The hares goyng away. 121.
 122. 
Judgement of colours. 122.
 123. 
Hap and wit. 123.
 124. 
Of fortune to fooles. 124.
 125. 
Of loosers wordes. 125.
 126. 
Gettyng and spendyng. 126.
 127. 
Matters not leyde a water. 127.
 128. 
Measure. 128.
 129. 
Goyng beyonde the wall. 129.
 130. 
Of harme. 130.
 131. 
Wit kept by warmth. 131.
 132. 
Light comyng and goyng. 132.
 133. 
Of kissing. 133.
 134. 
Of leaue. 134.
 135. 
God in the almery. 135.
 136. 
The diuell in thorologe. 136.
 137. 
The best. 137.
 138. 
The woorst. 138.
 139. 
Lastyng of woonder. 139.
 140. 
Of a galde horse. 140.
 141. 
Good begynnyng and ende. 141.
 142. 
The still soowe. 142
 143. 
Of stumblyng. 143.
 144. 
Of the shoe and the sole. 144.
 145. 
Myght and ryght. 145.
 146. 
Byrth and teaching. 146.
 147. 
Of hangyng. 147.
 148. 
An olde knaue. 148.
 149. 
A mans heare and his whood. 149.
 150. 
Geynes and losses. 150.
 151. 
Theeues fallyng out. 151.
 152. 
Of a shorne face. 152.
 153. 
A benche whistler. 153.
 154. 
What god sayde to one. 154.
 155. 
Boowyng and breaking. 155.
 156. 
Of wrestlyng. 156.
 157. 
God and the church. 157.
 158. 
Of one tale in all men tolde. 158.
 159. 
Of malkin. 159.
 160. 
Rashe ventringe. 160.
 161. 
A scabde horse. 161.
 162. 
Of syttyng. 162.
 163. 
Ale and wyt. 163.
 164. 
Of restitucion. 164.
 165. 
Eatyng of flies. 165.
 166. 
Of the foxes preaching. 166.
 167. 
Of poore mens soules. 167.
 168. 
Promise of lycence. 168.
 169. 
Of little saiyng. 169.
 170. 
Of the tyde. 170.
 171. 
Praise of good ende. 171.
 172. 
Of hearyng and iudgeyng. 172.
 173. 
A lesson for lookyng. 173.
 174. 
Of a womans lines. 174.
 175. 
The crowe called white. 175.
 176. 
Of the olde foole. 176.
 177. 
Of a beane. 177.
 178. 
The gyft of a pyg. 178.
 179. 
Chaunge and robery. 179.
 180. 
Of fayre woordes. 180.
 181. 
Of laughyng. 181.
 182. 
Of seekyng. 182.
 183. 
Of a head vnder a gyrdell. 183.
 184. 
Of wyde shootyng. 184.
 185. 
The fooles bolte. 185.
 186. 
Of a marchant. 186.
 187. 
Of tongue. 187.
 188. 
Of speeche. 188.
 189. 
A busy body. 189.
 190. 
Of time. 190.
 191. 
Of far castyng. 191.
 192. 
Of hunger. 192.
 193. 
Of feedyng. 193.
 194. 
Of Mortimers sow. 194.
 195. 
Of fleabytyng. 195.
 196. 
The breechelesse maister. 196.
 197. 
Of meate and sauce. 197.
 198. 
Of proferd seruice. 198.
 199. 
Of common medlers. 199.
 200. 
Of enough and a feast. 200.
 201. 
Of plaine fashion. 201.
 202. 
Of him that cumth last. 202.
 203. 
Of striuyng. 203.
 204. 
Of sittyng. 204.
 205. 
Of writyng to frendes. 205.
 206. 
Of great clarkes. 206.
 207. 
Of killyng. 207.
 208. 
Of falshed. 208.
 209. 
Of bleedyng. 209.
 210. 
Of seyng. 210.
 211. 
Of ils. 211.
 212. 
Of Pepper. 212.
 213. 
Of an ill stake. 213.
 214. 
Of suffraunce. 214.
 215. 
Of misrecknyng. 215.
 216. 
Of euen recknyng. 216.
 217. 
Of takyng. 217.
 218. 
Of mum. 218.
 219. 
Of stoppyng a mouth. 219.
 220. 
Of castyng. 220.
 221. 
Of Jacke. 221.
 222. 
Of the winking Cat. 222.
 223. 
Of saying nay. 223.
 224. 
Of the pie and crowe. 224.
 225. 
Of saying nought but mum. 225.
 226. 
Of tounge and wit. 226.
 227. 
Of owne. 227.
 228. 
Of spinnyng. 228.
 229. 
Of laughyng. 229.
 230. 
Of pleying. 230.
 231. 
Of the winde blowyng. 231.
 232. 
Of far and nie. 232.
 233. 
Of thynstep. 233.
 233. 
Of smaule and greate. 233.
 234. 
Of the keyse. 234.
 236. 
Of prouender. 236.
 237. 
Of sum here and there. 237.
 238. 
Of the persons lemman. 238.
 239. 
Of il weede. 239.
 240. 
Of synkyng. 240.
 241. 
Of good syluer. 241.
 242. 
Of the proude cocke. 242
 243. 
Of fat in the fyre. 243.
 244. 
Of bowe bent. 244.
 245. 
Of gods beynge. 245.
 246. 
Of kinsfolke. 246.
 247. 
Of Freendshippe. 247.
 248. 
Of nothinge. 248.
 249. 
Of pouertee. 249.
 250. 
Of eares glowyng. 250.
 251. 
Of poste and pyller. 251.
 252. 
Of may be. 252.
 253. 
Of vse. 253.
 254. 
[Folly to spurne or kycke ageynst the harde wall.]
 255. 
Of tiyng the bell. 255.
 256. 
Of had I wyst. 256.
 257. 
Of daunsyng. 257.
 258. 
Of the cat eatyng fyshe. 258.
 259. 
Of the blinde. 259.
 260. 
Of the woorst and best. 260.
 261. 
Of fyue egges. 261.
 262. 
Of clymyng.. 262.
 263. 
Of the wey. 263.
 264. 
Of waytyng. 264.
 265. 
Of Ryme. 265.
 266. 
Of fyshyng. 266.
 267. 
Of good. 267.
 268. 
Of the hot yron. 268.
 269. 
Of the purse. 269.
 270. 
Of many handes. 270.
 271. 
Of the lothe stake. 271.
 272. 
Of hauinge. 272.
 273. 
Of counsell. 273.
 274. 
Of Roome. 274
 275. 
Of Speeche. 275.
 276. 
Of one had in the wynde. 276.
 277. 
Of one yll shod. 277.
 278. 
Of all and naught. 278.
 279. 
Of warnyng. 279.
 280. 
Of byrdes flowne. 280.
 281. 
Of leauyng. 281.
 282. 
Of settyng in foote. 282.
 283. 
Of fast byndyng. 283.
 284. 
Of hap. 284.
 285. 
Of tyme. 285.
 286. 
Of the fat hog. 286.
 287. 
The bale and boote. 287.
 288. 
Of sowes. 288.
 289. 
Of makyng a crosse. 289.
 290. 
Of a pad. 290.
 281. 
Of long standyng. 281.
 282. 
Of the weaker, 282.
 293. 
Of catchyng. 293.
 294. 
Of holdyng. 294.
 295. 
Of knowledge. 295.
 296. 
Of smellyngs 296.
 297. 
Of nought laide downe. 297.
 298. 
Of syght and fare. 298.
 299. 
Of the pot not broken. 299.
 300. 
Of late and neuer. 300.
collapse section 
The fifth hundred of Epygrams.
  
To the reader.
 1. 
Of weenyng and wottyng. I.
 2. 
Of a man of law and his clientes. 2.
 3. 
An aduise against mockyng. 3.
 4. 
Of itchyng and smartyng. 4.
 5. 
Of a sharpe tunge. 5.
 6. 
Of a horse. 6.
 7. 
Of a butler and a hors. 7.
 8. 
Of brasse. 8.
 9. 
Of a louces dwellyng place. 9.
 10. 
Of a straunge glasse. 10.
 11. 
Of driuyng and drawyng. 11.
 12. 
Of longe sutes. 12.
 13. 
Of lightnesse. 13.
 14. 
Of a disagreement. 14.
 15. 
Of chepenyng of conies. 15.
 16. 
Of a wyfe hauyng childe. 16.
 17. 
Of a bachiler and a mayde. 17.
 18. 
Of shorte payment. 18.
 19. 
Whence certaine thinges came fyrst. 19.
 20. 
Of furred and lyned gownes. 20.
 21. 
Of a wyne drawer. 21.
 22. 
Shorte checkes betwene a man and his wyfe. 22.
 23. 
Of a woman deckt in two coloures. 23.
 24. 
Of vnsweete breath. 24.
 25. 
Of clyppyng and clensyng. 25.
 26. 
Of a man and his wyues departyng. 26.
 27. 
An account of a mans children. 27.
 28. 
Of a woman of Huntington. 28.
 29. 
Of a laundres. 29.
  
Of a cutter of purslane.
 31. 
Of one standyng in his owne conceite. 31.
 32. 
Of one that hard without eares. 32.
 33. 
Of an archers rouyng. 33.
 34. 
Of perill to one by the number of three. 34.
 35. 
Of gloria patri. 35.
 36. 
Of a dyar. 36.
 37. 
Of a Jugge. 37.
 38. 
Of the three cuppes. 38.
 39. 
Of brasse and Iron. 39.
 40. 
Of Jacke and John. 40
 41. 
Of wrestlyng. 41.
 42. 
Of pryde. 42.
 43. 
Of one hanged. 43.
 44. 
Of a dettar. 44.
 45. 
Of louinge of a goose. 45.
 46. 
Of harpe stringes. 46.
 47. 
Of fortune. 47.
 48. 
Of choyce. 48.
 49. 
Of a false bragge.
 50. 
Of liyng and true saiyng. 50.
 51. 
Of a dawe pate. 51.
 52. 
Of water and wyne. 52.
 53. 
Betwene dogges and a deere. 53.
 54. 
Of twelue and one. 54.
 55. 
Of verdingales. 55.
 56. 
Preceptes of a man to his wyfe. 56.
 57. 
Of an expert man. 57.
 58. 
Of deliuerance from yll. 58.
 59. 
Of cuttyng of the herbe tyme. 59.
 60. 
Of one fearyng the swette. 60.
 61. 
Of one thinkyng on an other. 61.
 62. 
Of one beyng at a poynt. 62.
 63. 
Of testons. 63.
 64. 
Of redde Testons. 64.
 65. 
Of stampyng. 65.
  
Of John longe the carier.
 67. 
Of turnyng. 67.
 68. 
Of master Carter. 68.
 69. 
Of goyng farre. 69.
 70. 
How money is made lame. 70.
 71. 
Of an olde woer. 71.
 72. 
Of a yong wooer. 72.
 73. 
Of weakenesse and strength. 73.
 74. 
Warnyng of pride. 74.
 75. 
Of pacience. 75.
 76. 
Of pleasyng. 76.
 77. 
Of a hande gonne and a hande. 77.
 78. 
Of brasse and siluer. 78.
 79. 
Of difference betwene wise men and fooles. 79.
 80. 
Of a pithy witte. 80.
 81. 
Of choise to be a wise man or a foole. 81.
 82. 
Of a knightes carterly coller. 82.
 83. 
Of males and male horses. 83.
 84. 
A man discommended. 84.
 85. 
Of runnyng. 85.
 86. 
Of polling. 86.
 87. 
Of plate lente forth. 87.
 88. 
Of a man of law and his wife. 88.
 89. 
Of pennes and pence. 89.
 90. 
Of a womans thinne tounge. 90.
 91. 
Of drinkyng to a man. 91.
 92. 
Of runnyng at Tilte. 92.
 93. 
Of expence. 93.
 94. 
Of fraying of babes. 94.
 95. 
Of Reedes and Okes. 95.
 96. 
Of biyng a morter. 96.
 97. 
Of a stepmother. 97.
 98. 
Of a lyar. 98.
 99. 
Of tunges and pinsons. 99.
 100. 
Of Heywood. 100.
collapse section 
A sixt hundred of Epigrammes.
  
To the reader.
 1. 
Of Rebellion. 1.
 2. 
Of toung, mouth, teeth, and wisdome. 2.
 3. 
Of syluer to be borowed. 3.
 4. 
Of an vnkyndly march. 4.
 5. 
Of goyng to heauen and hell. 5.
 6. 
Of the high way and a maydes face. 6.
 7. 
Of one that would be praysed. 7.
 8. 
Of lookyng. 8.
 9. 
Of a hare a foote. 9.
 10. 
Of Hob and John. 10.
 11. 
Of seekyng a daw. 11.
 12. 
Of saiyng grace. 12.
 13. 
Of Dette. 13.
 14. 
Of stepping. 14.
 15. 
Of wrytyng a gentleman. 15.
 16. 
Of a wyues affection to hir husband. 16.
 17. 
Of a mans thrift. 17.
 18. 
Of learnyng the lawe. 18.
 19. 
Of good wyll and good deedes. 19.
 20. 
Of Newgate wyndowes. 20.
 21. 
Of treadyng a shooe awrye. 21.
 22. 
Of a fayre soowe. 22.
 23. 
Of prayer. 23.
 24. 
Of cheese. 24.
 25. 
Of a lease. 25.
 26. 
Of stockes. 26.
 27. 
A taunt of a wife to her husband. 27.
 28. 
Of pride. 28.
 29. 
To walke, talke, drinke or sleape. 29.
 30. 
Of a santhorne and light. 30.
 31. 
Of a crie. 31.
 32. 
Of a watermans rowyng. 32.
 33. 
Of tunge and witte. 33.
 34. 
Of a peinter. 34.
 35. 
Of Peter and Poll. 35.
 36. 
Of losse of helth and wealth.. 36.
 37. 
Of lookyng out. 37.
 38. 
Of chafyng disshes. 38.
 39. 
Of hanging and standyng. 39.
 40. 
Of a mans head and the Pillery. 40.
 41. 
A prayse of one. 41.
 42. 
Of diuers bandes. 42.
 43. 
Of couenantes. &c. 43.
 44. 
Of promise and paiment. 44.
 45. 
Of one that dare not steale. 45.
 46. 
Of the creation of the deuils dam. 46.
 47. 
Of reward to a seruyng man. 47.
 48. 
Two properties of a seruaunt. 48.
 49. 
Of toughnes and tendernes. 49.
 50. 
A question to a childe. 50.
 51. 
Seekyng for a dwellyng place. 51.
 52. 
Of three soules. 52.
 53. 
Of one saying of a hat. 53.
 54. 
Of biyng a coate. 54.
 55. 
Of paryng neyles. 55.
 56. 
Of a mans head. 56.
 57. 
Of money in ones purse. 57.
 58. 
Of freendes and foes. 58.
 59. 
Of diffrence in sondry thinges. 59.
 60. 
Of callyng one flebergebit. 60.
 61. 
Of crowes breedyng. 61.
 62. 
Of Powles. 62.
 63. 
Of a crowe keper. 63.
 64. 
Of Rape seede. 64.
 65. 
Of red Roses. 65.
 66. 
Of Peniryall. 66.
 67. 
Of Margerum. 67.
 68. 
Of Poppie. 68.
 69. 
Of Time seede. 69.
 70. 
Of Rue. 70.
 71. 
Lyuerworte. 71.
 72. 
Of pine appell. 72.
 73. 
Of hartes ease. 73.
 74. 
Of Parsnip seede. 74.
 75. 
Of Annesse seede. 75.
 76. 
Of lettis seede. 76.
 77. 
Of good newes to a man. 77.
 78. 
Of least and most mastrie. 78.
 79. 
Of a man and a clocke. 79.
 80. 
Of a spare horse. 80.
 81. 
Of a husband hangd. 81.
 82. 
Of Horsadowne. 82.
 83. 
Of a Cocke and a Capon. 83.
 84. 
Of disdeigne. 84.
 85. 
Of Peter. 85.
 86. 
Of one in Newgate. 86.
 87. 
Of sauyng of shooes. 87.
 88. 
Of hogstowne. 88.
 89. 
Of coleprophet. 89.
 90. 
Of thinges vnlyke. 90.
 91. 
Of the gentlenesse of a wyfe. 91.
 92. 
Of catchyng a fly. 92.
 93. 
Of a horse wearyng great breeches. 93.
 94. 
Of a recknyng at a shotte. 94.
 95. 
Of vse. 95.
 96. 
Of one askyng for sheepe. 96.
 97. 
Of walkyng and talkyng. 97.
 98. 
Of seeyng and feelyng money. 98.
 99. 
Of takyng thinges wronge. 99.
 100. 
Of a number of rattes mistaken for diuelles in a mans sloppes. 100.

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previous section The .ix. chapiter. John heywoodes woorkes
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The .ix. chapiter.

One daie in their arbour, whiche stoode so to mine,
That I might and did closely myne eare incline,
And likewyse cast mine eye to here and see,
What they saide and did, where they could not see mee,
He vnto hir a goodly tale began,
More like a wooer, than a wedded man.

As ferre as matter therof therin serued,
But the fyrst part from woords of wooyng swerued.
And stood vpon repentaunce, with submission,
Of his former crooked vnkynde condicion.
Praiyng hir, to forgeue and forget all free,
And he forgaue hir, as he forgeuen wolde bee.
Louyng hir now, as he full deepely swore,
As whotly as euer he loued hir before.
Well well (quoth she) what euer ye now saie,
It is to late to call again yesterdaie.
Wife (quoth he) suche maie my diligence seeme,
That thoffence of yesterdaie I maie redeeme.
God taketh me as I am, and not as I was.
Take you me so to, and let all thinges past pas.
I praie the good wife, thinke I speake and think plaine.
What, he runth far, that neuer turnth againe.
Ye be yong enough to mende, I agree it,
But I am (quoth she) to old to see it.
And amende ye or not, I am to olde a yere.
What is lyfe? where liuyng is extinct cleere.
Namely at olde yeres of leaste helpe and most neede.
But no tale coulde tune you, in tyme to take heede.
If I tune my selfe now (quoth he) it is fayre.
And hope of true tune, shall tune me from dispayre.
Beleue well, and haue well, men say. ye, (said shee)
Doo well, and haue well, men say also, we see.
But what man can beleue, that man can do well,
Who of no man will counsell take or here tell.
Whiche to you, whan any man any way tryde,
Than were ye deafe, ye could not here on that syde.
Who euer with you any tyme therin weares,
He must both tell you a tale, and fynde you eares.
You had on your haruest eares, thicke of hearyng.
But this is a question of olde enqueryng,

Who is so deafe, or so blynde, as is hee,
That wilfully will nother here nor see?
Whan I saw your maner, my herte for wo molte.
Than wolde ye mend, as the fletcher mends his bolte.
Or as sowre ale mendth in summer, I know,
And knew, which waie the winde blewe, and will blow.
Though not to my profite, a prophete was I.
I prophecied this, to true a prophecie.
Whan I was right yll beleued, and worse hard.
By flingyng from your folkes at home, which all mard.
Whan I said in semblaunce eyther cold or warme,
A man far from his good, is nye his harme.
Or wilde ye to looke, that ye lost no more,
On suche as shewe, that hungry flies byte sore.
Than wold ye looke ouer me, with stomake swolne,
Like as the diuel lookt ouer Lincolne.
The diuell is dead wife (quoth he) for ye see,
I looke lyke a lambe in all your woords to mee.
Looke as ye list now (quoth she) thus lookt ye than.
And for those lookes I shew this, to shew eche man,
Suche proofe of this prouerbe, as none is gretter.
Which saith, that some man maie steale a hors better,
Than some other may stande and looke vpone.
Leude huswiues might haue woords, but I not one
That might be aloude. But now if ye looke,
In mistakyng me, ye may see, ye tooke
The wrong way to wood, and the wrong sow by theare.
And therby in the wrong boxe to thryue ye weare,
I haue heard some, to some tell this tale not seelde.
Whan thrift is in the towne, ye be in the feelde.
But contrary, you made that sence to sowne,
Whan thrift was in the feelde, ye were in the towne.
Feelde ware might sinke or swym, while ye had eny.
Towne ware was your ware, to tourne the peny.

But towne or feelde, where most thrift did apeere,
What ye wan in the hundred ye lost in the sheere.
In all your good husbandry, thus ryd the rocke,
Ye stumbled at a strawe, and lept euer a blocke.
So many kyndes of increase you had in chioce,
And nought increase nor kepe, how can I reioyce?
Good ridyng at two ankers men haue tolde,
For if the tone faile, the tother maie holde.
But you leaue all anker holde, on seas or lands.
And so set vp shop vpon Goodwins sands.
But as folke haue a saiyng bothe olde and trew,
In that they say blacke will take none other hew.
So maie I saie here, to my deepe dolour,
It is a bad clothe that will take no colour.
This case is yours. For ye were neuer so wise,
To take specke of colour, of good aduyse.
Thaduyse of all freends I say, one and other
Went in at the tone eare, and out at the tother.
And as those woords went out, this prouerbe in came,
He that will not be ruled by his owne dame,
Shall be ruled by his stepdame, and so you.
Hauyng lost your owne good, and owne freends now,
Maie seeke your forein freends, if you haue any.
And sure one of my great greefes, among many,
Is that ye haue bene so veraie a hog,
To my freends. What man, loue me, loue me dog.
But you to cast precious stones before hogs,
Cast my good before a sort of cur dogs.
And sawte bitches. Whiche by whom now deuoured.
And your honestie amonge them defloured,
And that you maie no more expence a foorde,
Now can they not afoord you one good woorde,
And you them as fewe. And olde folke vnderstoode,
Whan theeues fall out, true men come to their goode.

Whiche is not alwaie true. For in all that bretche,
I can no ferthing of my good the more fetche.
Nor I trow them selues neither, if thei were sworne,
Light come, light go. And sure sens we were borne,
Ruine of one rauine, was there none gretter.
For by your giftes, they be as littell the better.
As you be muche the woorse and I cast awaie.
An yll wynde that blowth no man to good, men say.
Well (quoth he) euery wind blowth not downe the corne.
I hope (I saie) good happe be not all out worne.
I will nowe begin thrift, whan thrift semeth gone.
What wife there be mo waies to the wood than one.
And I will assaie all the waies to the wood,
Till I fynde one waie, to get againe this good.
Ye will get it againe (quoth she) I feare,
As shortly as a horse will licke his eare.
The Ducheman saieth, that seggyng is good cope.
Good woordes bryng not euer of good deedes good hope,
And these woords shew your woords spoken in skorne.
It pricketh betymes that will be a good thorne.
Timely crooketh the tree, that will a good camok bee.
And such beginnyng such ende. we all daie see.
And you by me at begynnyng beyng thryuen,
And than to keepe thrift could not be prickt nor driuen.
How can ye now get thrift, the stocke beyng gone?
Which is thonely thing to reise thrift vpon.
Men saie he maie yll renne, that can not go,
And your gain, without your stocke, renneth euen so.
For what is a woorkman, without his tooles?
Tales of Robin hood are good among fooles.
He can yll pype, that lackth his vpper lyp.
Who lackth a stocke, his gaine is not woorth a chip,
A tale of a tub, your tale no truth auouth,
Ye speake now, as ye would creepe into my mouth,

In pure peinted processe, as false as fayre.
How ye will amend, whan ye can not apayre.
But against gaie glosers, this rude text recites,
It is not all butter, that the coow shites.
I herd ones a wise man saie to his daughter,
Better is the last smyle, than the fyrst laughter,
We shall I trust (quoth he) laugh againe at last.
Although I be ones out of the saddle cast.
Yet sens I am bent to syt, this will I doo,
Recouer the hors, or leese the saddle too.
Ye neuer could yet (quoth she) recouer any hap,
To win or saue ought, to stop any one gap.
For stoppyng of gaps (quoth he) care not a rushe,
I will learne, to stop two gaps with one bushe.
Ye will (quoth she) as soone stop gaps with rushes,
As with any husbandly handsome bushes,
Your tales haue lyke tast, where temprance is taster,
To breake my heade, and than geue me a plaster.
Now thrifte is gone, now would ye thryue in all haste.
And whan ye had thrift, ye had like haste to waste.
Ye liked then better an ynche of your wyll,
Than an ell of your thrift. Wife (quoth he) be still.
Maie I be holpe foorth an ynche at a pinche,
I will yet thriue (I saie) As good is an inche
As an ell. Ye can (quoth she) make it so, well.
For whan I gaue you an ynche, ye tooke an ell.
Till both ell and inche be gone, and we in det.
Naie (quoth he) with a wet fynger ye can fet,
As muche as maie easyly all this matter ease,
And this debate also pleasantly appease.
I could doo as muche with an hundred pround now,
As with a thousand afore, I assure yow.
Ye (quoth she) who had that he hath not, woulde
Doo that he dooth not, as olde men haue tolde.

Had I, as ye haue, I woulde dooe more (quoth hee)
Than the preest spake of on sonday, ye should see.
Ye dooe, as I haue (qouth she) for nought I haue,
And nought ye dooe. What man, I trow ye raue,
Wolde ye bothe eate your cake, and haue your cake?
Ye haue had of me all that I might make.
And be a man neuer so greedy to wyn,
He can haue no more of the foxe but the skyn.
Well (quoth he) if ye list to bring it out,
Ye can geue me your blessyng in a clout.
That were for my child, (quoth she) had I ony,
But husband, I haue neither child, nor mony.
Ye cast and coniecture this muche like in show,
As the blind man casts his staffe, or shootes the crow.
How be it had I money right muche, and ye none,
Yet to be plaine, ye shulde haue none, for Ione.
Nay, he that first flattereth me, as ye haue doone.
And doth as ye did to me after, so soone.
He maie be in my Pater noster in deede.
But be sure, he shall neuer come in my Creede.
Aue Maria (quoth he) how much mocion
Here is to praiers, with how littell deuocion.
But some men saie, no peny no Pater noster.
I saie to suche (said she) no longer foster,
No longer lemman. But faire and well than,
Praie and shifte eche one for him selfe, as he can.
Euery man for him selfe, and god for vs all.
To those woords he saide nought, but foorthwith did fall,
From harping on that stringe, to faire flattring speeche,
And as I erst saide, he did hir so beseeche,
That things erst so far of, were now so far on,
That as she maie wallow, awaie she is gon,
Where all that was left laie with a trustie freende.
Dwellyng a good walke from hir at the townes eende,

And backe again streight a haltyng pace she hobles.
Bringyng a hag of royals and nobles.
All that she had, without restraint of one iote,
She brought bullocks noble. for noble or grote,
Had she not one mo. Whiche I after well knew.
And anon smiling, toward him as she drew,
A sir light burdeine far heauy (quoth she)
This light burdein in longe walke welny tyreth me.
God geue grace I play not the foole this daie.
For here I sende thaxe after the helue awaie.
But if ye will stint and auoyd all stryfe,
Loue and cherishe this as ye wolde my lyfe,
I will (quoth he) wife, by god almightie.
This geare comth euen in puddyng time rightlie.
He snacht at the bag. No hast but good (quoth she)
Short shootyng leeseth your game, ye maie see.
Ye myst the cushin, for all your hast to it.
And I maie set you besyde the cushyn yit.
And make you wype your nose vpon your sleeue,
For ought ye shall win without ye axe me leeue.
Haue ye not heard tell all couet all leese:
A sir, I see, ye may see no greene cheese
But your teeth must water. A good cocknay coke.
Though ye loue not to bye the pyg in the poke,
Yet snatche ye at the poke, that the pyg is in,
Not for the poke, but the pyg good chepe to wyn.
Like one halfe lost, till gredy graspyng gat it,
Ye would be ouer the style, er ye come at it.
But abyde freend, your mother bid till ye were borne.
Snatching winth it not, if ye snatche tyll to morne.
Men saie (said he) long standyng and small offring
Maketh poore persons. and in suche signes and proffring.
Many prety tales, and mery totes had they,
Before this bag came fully from hir awey.

Kindly he kyst hir, with woords not tart nor tough.
But the cat knoweth whose lips she lickth well enough.
Anone, the bag she deliuered him, and saide,
He should beare it, for that it now heauy waide.
With good will wife, for it is (said he to her)
A proude horse that will not beare his own prouander.
And oft before seemd she neuer so wyse,
Yet was she nowe, sodeinly waxen as nyse
As it had bene a halporth of syluer spoones,
Thus cloudy mornynges turne to cleere after noones.
But so ny noone it was, that by and by,
They rose, and went to diner louyngly.
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