University of Virginia Library

2. The seconde parte.

The .i. chapiter.

The .ii. chapiter.

Husbande (quoth she) I would we were in our nest.
Whan the bealy is full, the bones wold be at rest.
So soone vpon supper (saide he) no question,
Sleepe maketh yll and vnholsome digestion,
By that diete a great disease once I gat.
And burnt childe fyre dredth. I will beware of that.
What a post of phisyke (saide she) ye a post.
And from post to pyller wyfe, I haue beene tost
By that surfet. And I feele a little fyt,
Euen now, by former attemptyng of it.
Wherby, except I shall seeme to leaue my wit,
Before it leaue me, I must now leaue it.
I thanke God (quoth she) I neuer yet felt payne,
To go to bed timely, but risyng againe
To soone in the mornyng, hath me displeased,
And I (quoth he) haue beene more diseased,
By earely liyng downe, than by early risyng.
But thus differ folke lo, in exercisyng.
That one may not, an other may.
Use maketh maistry, and men many tymes say,
That one loueth not, an other doth, which hath sped,
All meates to be eaten, and all maides to be wed.
Haste ye to bed now, and ryse ye as ye rate.
While I ryse early, and come to bed late.
Long liyng warme in bed is holsome (quoth shee)
While the leg warmeth, the boote harmeth (quoth hee)
Well (quoth she) he that dooth as most men doo,
Shalbe least wondred on, and take any twoo,
That be man and wyfe in all this whole towne.
And moste parte together, they ryse and lie downe.
Whan byrds shall roust (quoth he) at. viii. ix. or ten,
Who shall appoynt their houre, the cocke, or the hen.
The hen (quoth she) the cocke (quoth he) iust (quoth she)
As Iermans lips. It shall proue more iust (quoth he)
Than proue I (quoth she) the more foole far away.
But there is no foole to the olde foole, folke say.
Ye are wyse inough (quoth he) if ye keepe ye warme,
To be kept warme, and for none other harme,
Nor for muche more good, I tooke you to wedde.
I toke not you (quoth he) nyght and day to bedde.
Her carrain carkas (saide he) is so colde,
Because she is aged, and somwhat to olde,
That she kylth me, I doo but roste a stone.
In warmyng hir. And shall not I saue one,
As she wolde saue an other? yes by seint Iohne.
A syr (quoth she) mary this geare is alone.
Who that woorst maie, shall holde the candell, I see,
I must warme bed for him should warme it for mee.
This medicine thus ministred is sharpe and colde.
But all thing that is sharpe is short. folke haue tolde.
This trade is now begun, but if it holde on,
Then farewell my good daies. they wyll be soone gon.
Gospell in thy mouth (quoth he) this strife to breake.
How be it, all is not gospell that thou doest speake.
But what neede we lumpe out loue at ones lashyng.
As we should now shake handes. what soft for dashyng.
The fayre lasteth all the yere. we be new kneet,
And so late met, that I feare we parte not yeet,
Quoth the baker to the pylorie. Which thyng,
From distemperate fondyng, temperance maie bryng.
And this reason to ayde, and make it more strong,
Olde wise folke saie, loue me little, loue me long.
I say little (said she) but I thinke more.
Thought is free. Ye leane (quoth he) to the wrong shore.
Braulyng booted not, he was not that night bent,
To plaie the bridgroome. Alone to bed she went.
This was their beginnyng of iar. How be it,
For a begynnyng, this was a feat fit.
And but a fleabytyng to that did ensew.
The woorst is behynd. we come not where it grew.
How say you (said he to me) by my wyfe.
The diuell hath cast a bone (said I) to set stryfe
Betweene you, but it were a foly for mee,
To put my hande betweene the barke and the tree.
Or to put my finger to far in the fyre,
Betweene you, and lay my credence in the myre.
To meddle little for me it is beste.
For of little medlyng cometh great reste.
Yes ye maie meddle (quoth he) to make hir wyse,
Without takyng harme, in geuyng your aduise.
She knowth me not yet, but if she waxe to wilde,
I shall make hir knowe, an olde knaue is no childe.
Sluggyng in bed with hir is woorse than watchyng.
I promise you an olde sacke axeth much patchyng.
Well (quoth I) to morowe I will to my beades,
To pray, that as ye both will, so ake your heades.
And in meane time my akyng head to ease,
I will couche a hogs hed. Quoth he whan ye please.
We parted, and this within a daie or twayne,
Was raakt vp in thashes, and couerd agayne.

The. iii. chapiter.

These two daies past, he said to me, whan ye will,
Come chat at home, al is wel. Iack shall haue gill.
Who had the wurs ende of the staffe (quoth I) now?
Shall the maister wéare a breeche, or none? say you.
I trust the sow will no more so deepe wroote.
But if she doo (quoth he) you must set in foote.
And whom ye see out of the waie, or shoote wyde,
Ouer shoote not your selfe any syde to hyde.
But shoote out some woordes, if she be to whot.
She maie saie (quoth I) a fooles bolte soone shot.
Ye will me to a thankelesse office heere.
And a busy officer I maie appeere.
And Iack out of office she maie bid me walke.
And thinke me as wise as Waltams calfe, to talke.
Or chat of hir charge, hauyng therin nought to doo,
How be it, if I see neede, as my part comth too,
Gladly betwene you I will doo my best.
I byd you to diner (quoth he) as no geste,
And brynge your poore neighbors on your other syde.
I did so. And streight as tholde wife vs espied,
She bad vs welcome and merily toward me,
Greene rushes for this straunger, strawe here (quoth she)
With this aparte she puld me by the sleeue.
Saiyng in few woords, my mynd to you to meeue,
So it is, that all our great fraie the last night,
Is forgeuen and forgotten betwene vs quight.
And all fraies by this I trust haue taken end.
For I fully hope my husband will amend.
Well amended (thought I) whan ye both relent,
Not to your owne, but eche to others mendment.
Now if hope fayle (quoth she) and chaunce bryng about
Any suche breache, wherby we fall again out.
I pray you tell him his pars vers now and than.
And winke on me also hardly, if ye can
Take me in any tryp. Quoth I, I am lothe,
To meddle commonly. For as this tale gothe,
Who medleth in all thyng, maie shooe the goslyng,
Well (quoth she) your medlyng herein may bryng
The wynde calme betweene vs, whan it els might rage.
I will with good will (quoth I) yll wynds to swage,
Spend som wind at neede, though I wast winde in vayne.
To table we sat, where fyne fare did remayne.
Mery we were as cup and can could holde,
Eche one with eche other homely and bolde.
And she for hir parte, made vs cheere heauen hye.
The fyrst parte of dyner mery as a pye.
But a scalde head is soone broken. and so they,
As ye shall streight here, fell at a new frey.

The .iiii. chapiter.

Husband (quoth she) ye studie, be mery now.
And euen as ye thynke now so come to yow.
Nay not so (quoth he) for my thought to tell right,
I thynke how ye lay gronyng wife, all last night.
Husband, a gronyng horse, and a gronyng wyfe,
Neuer fayle their maister (quoth she) for my lyfe.
No wyfe, a woman hath nyne lyues lyke a cat.
Well my lambe (quoth she) ye may picke out of that,
As soone goth the yonge lamskyn to the market
As tholde yewes. God forbyd wyfe, ye shall fyrst iet.
I will not iet yet (quoth she) put no doutyng.
It is a bad sacke that will abide no cloutyng.
And as we oft see, the lothe stake standeth longe,
So is it an yll stake I haue heard among.
That can not stande one yere in a hedge.
I drinke (quoth she) Quoth he I will not pledge.
What nede all this, a man may loue his house well,
Though he ryde not on the rydge, I haue heard tell.
What, I wene (quoth she) proferd seruyce stynkth.
But somwhat it is, I see, when the cat wynkth,
And bothe hir eyne out, but further stryfe to shonne,
Let the cat winke, and leat the mouse ronne.
This past, and he chered vs all, but most cheere
On his part, to this fayre yong wyfe dyd appeere.
And as he to her cast oft a louyng eye,
So cast hir husbande lyke eye, to his plate by.
Wherwith in a great musyng he was brought.
Freend (quoth the good man) a peny for your thought.
For my thought (quoth he) that is a goodly dishe.
But of trough I thought, better to haue then wishe.
What, a goodly yong wyfe, as you haue (quoth he)
Nay (quoth he) goodly gylt goblets, as here bee.
Byr lady freends (quoth I) this maketh a show,
To shewe you more vnnaturall than the crow,
The crow thinkth hir owne birdes fairest in the wood.
But by your woords (except I wrong vnderstood)
Eche others byrdes or iewels, ye dooe weie
Aboue your owne. True (quoth the old wyfe) ye seie.
But my neighbours desyre rightly to measure,
Comth of neede, and not of corrupte pleasure.
And my husbands more of pleasure, than of neede.
Olde fish and yong flesh (quoth he) dooth men best feede.
And some say, chaunge of pasture makth fat calues.
As for that reason (quoth she) ronth to halues.
As well for the coowe calfe as for the bull.
And though your pasture looke barreinly and dull,
Yet looke not on the meate, but looke on the man.
And who so looketh on you, shall shortly skan,
Ye maie wryte to your freends, that ye are in helth.
But all thyng maie be utered sauyng welth.
An olde saide sawe, itche and ease, can no man please.
Plentie is no deintie, ye see not your owne ease.
I see, ye can not see the wood for trees.
Your lips hang in your light, but this poore man sees
Both how blindly ye stand in your owne light,
And that you rose on your right syde here right.
And might haue gone further, and haue faren wurs.
I wot well I might (quoth he) for the purs,
But ye be a baby of Belsabubs bowre.
Content ye (quoth she) take the sweete with the sowre.
Fancy may boult bran, and make ye take it floure,
It will not be (quoth he) should I dye this houre.
While this fayre floure flourisheth thus in mine eye.
Yes, it might (quoth she) and here this reason whye.
Snow is white
And lyeth in the dike
And euery man lets it lye.
Pepper is blacke
And hath a good smacke
And euery man doth it bye.
Mylke (quoth he) is white
And lieth not in the dike
But all men know it good meate.
Inke is all blacke
And hath an ill smacke
No man will it drinke nor eate.
Thy ryme (quoth he) is muche elder then mine,
But mine beyng newer is truer then thine.
Thou likenest now for a vayne aduauntage,
White snow to fayre youth, blacke pepper to foule age.
Whiche are placed out of place here by rood.
Blacke inke is as yll meate, as blacke pepper is good.
And white milke as good meate, as white snow is yll.
But a milke snow white smooth yong skyn, who chaunge wil.
For a pepper ynke blacke rough olde wytherd face?
Though chaunge be no robbry for the chaunged case,
Yet shall that chaunge rob the chaunger of his wit.
For who this case sercheth, shall soone see in it,
That as well agreeth thy comparison in these,
As a lyke to compare in taste, chalke and chese.
Or a like in colour to deeme ynke and chalke.
Walke drab walke. Nay (quoth she) walke knaue walke
Saieth that terme. How be it sir, I saie not so.
And best we laie a strawe here, and euen there who.
Or els this geare will breede a pad in the strawe.
If ye hale this waie, I will an other waie drawe.
Here is God in thambrie (quoth I.) Quoth he, naie,
Here is the diuell in thorologe, ye maie saie.
Sens this (quoth I) rather bryngeth bale then boote,
Wrap it in the clothe, and tread it vnder foote.
Ye harpe on the stryng, that geueth no melody.
Your tounges run before your wits, by seint Antonie.
Marke ye, how she hitteth me on the thombs (quoth hee)
And ye taunt me tyt ouer thumb (quoth shee)
Sens tyt for tat (quoth I) on euen hand is set,
Set the hares head against the goose ieblet.
She is (quoth he) bent to force you perfors
To know, that the grey mare is the better hors.
She chopth logyke, to put me to my clargy.
She hath one poynt of a good hauke, she is hardie.
But wife, the fyrst point of haukyng is holde fast.
And holde ye fast I red you, lest ye be cast,
In your owne tourne. Naie she will tourue the leafe.
And rather (quoth I) take as falth in the sheafe,
At your handes. and let fall hir holde, than be to bolde.
Naie, I will spyt in my handes, and take better holde.
He (quoth she) that will be angry without cause,
Must be at one, without amendes. by sage sawes.
Tread a woorme on the tayle, and it must turne agayne.
He taketh pepper in the nose, that I complaine
Upon his fautes, my selfe beyng fautlesse.
But that shall not stop my mouth, ye maie well gesse.
Well (quoth I) to muche of one thyng is not good,
Leaue of this. Be it (quoth he) fall we to our food.
But suffrance is no quittance in this daiment.
No (quoth she) nor misrecknyng is no paiment.
But euen recknyng maketh longe freends, my freend.
For alwaie owne is owne, at the recknyngs eend.
This recknyng thus reckned, and dyner once doone,
We three from them twayne, departed very soone.

The .v. chapiter.

This olde woman the next daie after this night,
Stale home to me, secretly as she might.
To talke with me. In secrete counsell (she saide)
Of thinges which in no wise might be bewraied.
We twayne are one to many (quoth I) for men say,
Three maie a kepe counsayle, if two be away.
But all that ye speake, vnmeete againe to tell,
I will say nought but mum, and mum is counsell.
Well then (quoth she) herein auoydyng all feares,
Auoyd your children. small pitchers haue wide eares.
Whiche doone (she saide) I haue a husband, ye know,
Whom I made of nought, as the thing self dooth show.
And for these two causes onely him I tooke.
First, that for my loue, he should louingly looke,
In all kynd of cause, that loue ingender might,
To loue and cherishe me by daie and by night.
Secondly, the substance, whiche I to him brought,
He rather should augment, than bring to nought,
But now my good, shall both be spent, ye shall see,
And it in spendyng soole instrument shall bee
Of my destruction, by spendyng it on suche
As shall make him destroy me: I feare this muche.
He maketh hauok. and setteth cocke on the hoope.
He is so laueis, the stocke beginneth to droope.
And as for gaine is deade, and layde in tumbe,
Whan he should get ought, eche fynger is a thumbe,
Eche of his iointes against other iustles,
As handsomly as a beare picketh muscles.
Flattryng knaues & fleryng queanes beyng the marke.
Hang on his sleeue, many hands make light warke.
He hath his haukes in the mew. but make ye sure,
With emptie handes men maie no haukes allure.
There is a nest of chickens, whiche he doth brood,
That will sure make his heare grow through his hood.
They can currifauell, and make faire wether,
Whyle they cut large thongs of other mens lether.
He maketh his marts with marchants likely,
To bryng a shillyng to .ix. pens quickely.
If he holde on a while, as he begins,
We shall see him proue a marchaunt of eele skins.
A marchaunt without either money or ware.
But all be bugs woords, that I speake to spare.
Better spare at brym than at bottem, say I.
Euer spare and euer bare (saith he) by and by.
Spend, and god shall send (saieth he) saith tholde ballet,
What sendth he (saie I) a staffe and a wallet.
Than vp gothe his staffe, to send me a loufe.
He is at three woords vp in the house roufe.
And herein to grow (quoth she) to conclusion,
I praie your ayde, to auoid this confusion.
And for counsaile herein, I thought to haue gon,
To that cunnyng man, our curate sir Iohn.
But this kept me backe, I haue herd now and then,
The greattest clerkes be not the wysest men.
I thynk (quoth I) who euer that terme began,
Was neither great clerke, nor the greatest wise man.
In your rennyng from him to me, ye runne
Out of gods blessing into the warme sunne.
Where the blynd leadth the blynd, both fall in the dike,
And blynde be we both, if we thinke vs his lyke.
Folke show much foly, when things should be sped.
To ren to the foote, that maie go to the hed.
Sens he best can and most ought to dooe it,
I feare not, but he will, if ye wyll woo it.
There is one let (quoth she) mo than I spake on.
My husband and he be so great, that the ton
Can not pisse, but the tother must let a fart.
Choose we him aparty, than farewell my part.
We shall so part stake, that I shall lese the hole.
Folke say of olde, the shoe will holde with the sole.
Shall I trust him then? nay in trust is treason.
But I trust you, and come to you this season
To here me, and tell me, what waie ye thinke best,
To hem in my husbande, and set me in rest.
If ye minde (quoth I) a conquest to make
Ouer your husband, no man maie vndertake
To bryng you to ease, nor the matter amende.
Except ye bring him to weare a cocks comb at ende,
For take that your husband were, as ye take him,
As I take him not, as your tale would make him.
Yet were contencion lyke to do nought in this,
But kepe him nought, and make him woors then he is,
But in this complaint, for counsele quicke and cleere,
A few prouerbes for principles, leat vs heere.
Who that maie not as they wolde, will as they maie.
And this to this, they that are bound must obaie:
Foly it is to spourne against a pricke,
To stryue against the streme, to winche or kicke
Against the hard wall. By this ye maie see.
Beyng bound to obedience, as ye bee,
And also ouermacht, suffraunce is your daunce.
He maie ouermatche me (quoth she) perchaunce
In strength of bodie, but my tung is a lym,
To matche and to vexe euery vayne of him.
Toung breaketh bone, it selfe hauyng none (quoth I)
If the winde stande in that doore, it standth awry.
The perill of pratyng out of tune by note,
Telth vs, that a good bestyll is woorth a grote.
In beyng your owne foe, you spin a fayre threede.
Aduyse ye well, for here dooth all ly and bleede,
Flee thattemtyng of extremities all.
Folke saie, better syt styll than ryse and fall.
For little more or lesse no debate make,
At euery dogs barke, seeme not to awake.
And where the small with the great, can not agree,
The weaker goeth to the potte, we all daie see.
So that alwaie the bygger eateth the beane.
Ye can nought wyn, by any wayward meane.
Where the hedge is lowest, men maie soonest ouer,
Be silent. Leat not your toung roon at rouer.
Sens by stryfe, ye maie lose, and can not wyn,
Suffer. It is good slepyng in a whole skyn.
If he chide, kepe you byll vnder wyng muet.
Chatting to chiding is not woorth a chuet.
We see many tymes, might ouercomth right.
Were not you as good than to say, the crow is whight.
And so rather let faire woordes make fooles fayne,
Than be plaine without pletes, & plant your owne payne.
For were ye as plaine as dunstable hy waie.
Yet should ye that waie rather breake a loue daie,
Than make one thus though ye perfytely knew,
All that ye coniecture to be proued trew,
Yet better dissemble it, and shake it of,
Than to broide him with it in earnest or scof.
If he plaie falsehed in felowship, plaie yee,
See me, and see me not. to woorst part to flee.
Why thinke ye me so whyte lyuerd (quoth shee)
That I will be toung tyed? Naie I warrant yee.
They that will be afraid of euery farte,
Must go far to pisse. Well (quoth I) your parte
Is to suffre (I saie) For ye shall preeue.
Taunts appease not things, they rather agreeue,
But for yll company, or expense extreeme,
I here no man doubte, so far as ye deeme.
And there is no fyre without some smoke, we see.
Well well, make no fyre, reyse no smoke (sayd shee)
What cloke for the rayne so euer ye bryng mee,
My selfe can tell best, where my shooe doth wryng mee.
But as ye saie, where fyre is, smoke will appeere.
And so hath it doone, For I did lately heere,
How flek and his make, vse their secrete hauntyng,
By one byrd, that in mine eare was late chauntyng.
One swalowe maketh not sommer (said I) men saie.
I haue (quoth she) mo blocks in his waie to laie.
For further encrease of suspicion of yls,
Besyde his iettyng into the towne, to his gyls,
With calets he consumeth him selfe and my goodes,
Sometyme in the feelds, sometyme in the woodes.
Some here and see him, whom he hereth nor seeth not.
But feelds haue eies, and woodes haue eares, ye wot.
And also on my maydes he is euer tootyng.
Can ye iudge a man (quoth I) by his lookyng?
What, a cat maie looke on a king, ye know.
My cats leeryng looke (quoth she) at fyrst show.
Shewth me, that my cat gothe a catterwawyng.
And specially by his maner of drawyng,
To Madge my faire maide. for may he come ny her.
He must nedes basse hir, as he comth by her.
He loueth well sheeps flesh, that wets his bred in the wul,
If he leaue it not, we haue a crow to pul.
He loueth hir better at the sole of the foote,
Than euer he loued me at the hert roote.
It is a foule byrd, that fyleth his owne nest.
I wold haue him liue as gods lawe hath exprest.
And leaue lewde tickyng. he that will none ill doo.
Must do nothyng, that belongeth therto.
To ticke and laughe with me, he hath laufull leeue.
To that I saide nought but laught in my sleeue.
But whan she seemed to be fixed in mynde,
Rather to seeke for that she was lothe to fynde,
Than leaue that seekyng, by whiche she might fynd ease,
I fainde this fancy to feele how it would please.
Will ye do well (quoth I) take peyne to watche him.
And if ye chaunce in aduoutrie to catche him,
Then haue ye him on the hyp, or on the hyrdell.
Then haue ye his head fast vnder your gyrdell.
Where your wurds now do but rub him on the gall.
That deede without woords shall driue him to the wall.
And further than the wall he can not go.
But must submit him selfe, and if it hap so,
That at ende of your watche, he gyltles apeere,
Then all grudge, growne by ielowsie, taketh end cleere.
Of all folkes I maie woorst watche him (said she)
For of all folks him selfe most watcheth me.
I shall as soone trie him or take him this waie,
As dryue a top ouer a tyeld house, no naie.
I maie kepe corners or holowe trees with thowle,
This seuen yeres, daie and night to watche a bowle.
Before I shall catche him with vndoubted euill.
He must haue a long spoone, shall eate with the diuell.
And the deuill is no falser then is hee.
I haue heard tell, it had neede to bee.
A wyly mouse that should breede in the cats eare.
Shall I get within him than? nay ware that geare.
It is harde haltyng before a creeple ye wot.
A falser water drinker there liueth not.
Whan he hunteth a doe, that he can not avow,
All dogs barke not at him, I warrant yow.
Namely not I, I saie, though as I sayde.
He somtyme, though seldome, by some be bewrayde.
Close huntyng (quoth I) the good hunter alowth.
But be your husband neuer so styll of mouth,
If ye can hunt, and will stand at receite.
Your maide examinde, maketh him open streite.
That were (quoth she) as of my truth to make preefe,
To axe my felow whether I be a theefe.
They cleaue together like burs. that way I shall
Pike out no more, than out of the stone wall.
Than lyke ye not to watche him for wife nor mayde.
No (quoth she) Nor I (quoth I) what euer I sayde.
And I mislyke not onely your watche in vayne.
But also if ye tooke him. what could ye gayne?
From suspicion to knowlage of yll. forsoothe
Coulde make ye dooe, but as the flounder doothe,
Leape out of the friyng pan into the fyre.
And chaunge from yll peyn to wurs is worth small hyre.
Let tyme trie. Tyme tryeth trouth in euery doubt.
And deeme the best, till time hath tryde the trouth out.
And reason saieth, make not two sorowes of one,
But ye make ten sorowes where reason maketh none.
For where reason (as I saide) wylth you to winke,
(Although all were proued as yll as ye thinke)
Contrary to reason ye stampe and ye stare.
Ye fret and ye fume as mad as a marche hare.
Without proofe to his reproofe present or past.
But by suche reporte, as moste proue lies at last.
And here gothe the hare awaie, for ye iudge all,
And iudge the woorst in all, er proofe in ought fall.
But blinde men should iudge no colours: by olde sause,
And folk oft tymes ar most blind in their owne cause,
The blynde eate many flies. Howbeit the fancy,
Of your blindnesse comth not of ignorancy.
Ye coulde tell an other herein the best waie.
But it is as folke dooe, and not as folke saie.
For they saie, saiyng and dooyng are two things,
To defende daunger that double dealyng brynges.
As ye can seeme wise in woords, be wise in deede.
That is (quoth she) sooner said then doone, I dreede.
But me thinkth your counsell weith in the whole,
To make me put my fynger in a hole.
And so by suffrance to be so lyther,
In my house to lay fyre and tow together.
But if they fyre me, some of them shall wyn
More towe on their distaues, than they can well spyn.
And the best of them shall haue both their hands full.
Bolster or pillow for me, be whose wull.
I will not beare the diuels sacke, by saint Audry.
For concelyng suspicion of their baudry.
I feare fals measures, or els I were a chylde.
For they that thinke none yll, are soonest begylde.
And thus though muche water goeth by the myll,
That the miller knowth not of, yet I will
Cast what may scape, and as though I did fynde it.
With the clacke of my myll, to fyne meale grynde it.
And sure ere I take any rest in effect,
I must banishe my maydes suche as I suspect.
Better it be doone than wishe it had bene doone.
As good vndoone (quoth I) as doo it to soone.
Well (quoth she) till soone, fare ye well, and this
Keepe ye as secrete, as ye thinke meete is.
Out at doores went she herewith. and hereupon
In at doores came he foorthwith as she was gon.
And without any temprate protestacion,
Thus he began, in waie of exclamacion.

The .vi. chapiter.

Oh what choyce may compare, to the diuels lyfe,
Lyke his, that haue chosen a diuel to his wife?
Namely such an olde witche, suche a mackabroyne,
As euermore like a hog hangeth the groyne,
On hir husbande, except he be hir slaue,
And folow all fancies, that she would haue.
Tys sayde, there is no good accorde,
Where euery man would be a Lorde.
Wherfore my wyfe will be no lorde, but lady,
To make me, that should be her Lorde, a baby.
Before I was wedded, and sens, I made recknyng,
To make my wyfe boow at euery becknyng.
Bachelers bost, how they will teach their wyues good,
But many a man speaketh of Robyn hood,
That neuer shot in his bowe. Whan all is sought,
Bachelers wiues, and maides children be well tought.
And this with this, I also begin to gather,
Euery man can rule a shrewe, saue he that hath her.
At my wil I wend she should haue wrought, like wax.
But I fynde and feele, she hath found suche knax
In her bouget, and suche toies in her hed.
That to daunce after her pipe, I am ny led.
It is saide of olde, an olde dog byteth sore.
But by God, tholde bitche biteth sorer and more.
And not with teeth (she hath none) but with hir toung.
If all tales be true (quoth I) though she be stong,
And therby styng you, she is not muche to blame,
For what euer you saie. thus goeth the fame.
Whan folke first saw your substance layd in your lap,
Without your peyn, with your wife brought by good hap,
Oft in remembrance of haps happie deuise,
They would saie, better to be happie then wise.
Not minding therby than, to depraue your wit,
For they had good hope, to see good proofe of it.
But sens their good opinion therin so cooles,
That they saie as ofte, God sendeth fortune to fooles.
In that as fortune without your wit gaue it,
So can your wit not keepe it whan ye haue it.
Saieth one, this geare was gotten on a holy daie.
Saieth an other, who maie holde that will awaie.
This game from begynnyng, shewth what ende is ment.
Soone gotten soone spent, yll gotten yll spent.
Ye are calde not onely to great a spender,
To franke a geuer, and as free a lender.
But also ye spende geue and lende, among suche,
Whose lightnesse minisheth your bonestee as muche
As your money, and much they disalow,
That ye bryke all from hir, that brought all to yow.
And spende it out at doores, in spyte of hir,
Because ye wolde kyll hir to be quite of hir.
For all kindnesse, of hir parte, that maie ryse,
Ye shewe all thunkindnesse ye can deuise.
And where reason and custome (they say afoords,
Alwaie to let the loosers haue their woords,
Ye make hir a cookqueane, and consume hir good.
And she must syt like a beane in a moonks hood.
Bearyng no more rule, than a goose turd in tems,
But at hir owne maides becks, winges, or hems.
She must obey those lambs, or els a lambs skyn,
Ye will prouyde for hir, to lap her in.
This biteth the mare by the thumbe, as they sey.
For were ye, touching condicion (say they)
The castell of honestee in all things els.
Yet should this one thing, as their hole tale tels,
Defoyle and deface that castell to a cotage.
One crop of a tourd marrth a pot of potage,
And some to this, crie, let him pas, for we thinke,
The more we stur a tourde, the wurs it will stynke,
With many condicions good, one that is yll,
Defaceth the flowre of all, and dooth all spyll.
Nowe (quoth I) if you thinke they truely clatter,
Let your amendment amende the matter.
Halfe warnd halfe armde. this warnyng for this I show,
He that hath an yll name, is halfe hangd, ye know.

The .vii. chapiter.

VVell saide (saide he) mary sir here is a tale,
For honestie, meete to set the diuell on sale.
But now am I forst, a bead roule to vnfolde,
To tell somwhat more to the tale I erst tolde.
Grow this. as most part doth, I durst holde my lyfe,
Of the ielousy of dame Iulok my wyfe,
Than shall ye wonder, whan truth doth defyne,
How she can, and doth here, both byte and whyne.
Fransy, heresy, and ielousy are three,
That men say hardly or neuer cured bee.
And although ielousy neede not or boote not,
What helpeth that counsayle, if reason roote not.
And in mad ielousy she is so farre gon,
She thinkth I run ouer all, that I looke on.
Take good heede of that (quoth I) for at a woorde,
The prouerbe saith, he that striketh with the swoorde,
Shalbe strikyn with the scaberde. Tushe (quoth he)
The diule with my scaberde will not strike me.
But my dame takyng suspicion for full preefe,
Reporteth it for a trouth, to the moste mischeefe.
In woords golde and hole, as men by wyt could wishe.
She will lie as fast as a dogge will licke a dishe.
She is of trouth as fals, as God is trew.
And if she chaunce to see me at a vew
Kysse any of my maydes alone, but in sporte,
That taketh she in ernest. after Bedlem sorte.
The cow is wood. Her tong ronth on patens.
If it be morne, we haue a payre of matens.
If it be euen, euensong, not Laten nor Greeke,
But Englishe, and like thutas in easter weeke.
She beginneth, first with a cry a leysone.
To whiche she ringth a peale, a larom. suche one,
As folke ring bees with basons. the world runth on wheeles.
But except hir maide shewe a fayre paire of heeles,
She haleth her by the boy rope, tyll hir braines ake.
And bring I home a good dishe. good cheere to make,
What is this (saith she) Good meate (saie I) for yow.
God haue mercy hors, a pyg of mine owne sow.
Thus whan I see, by kindnesse ease renewth not,
And than, that the eie seeth not, the hert rewth not,
And that he must needes go, whom the diuel dooth driue,
Her force forcing me, for mine ease to contriue,
To let her fast and freate alone for me,
I go where mery chat, and good cheere may be.
Muche spend I abrode, whiche at home should be spent,
If she would leaue controllyng, and be content.
There lepte a whityng (quoth she) and lept in streite.
Take a heare from his bearde, and marke this conceite.
He makth you beleue, by lies laide on by lode,
My branlyng at home, makith him banket abrode.
Where his bankets abrode, make me braule at home.
For as in a frost, a mud wall made of lome
Cracketh and crummeth in peeces a sunder,
So melteth his money, to the worlds wonder.
Thus maie ye see, to tourne the cat in the pan,
Or set the cart before the hors, well he can.
He is but little at home, the trewth is so.
And foorth with him, he will not let me go.
And if I come to be mery where he is,
Than is he mad. as ye shall here by this.
Where he with gossyps at a banket late was,
At whiche as vse is, he paide all. but let pas.
I came to be mery. wherwith merily,
Proface. Haue among you blynd harpers (sayde I)
The mo the merier, we all daie here and see.
Ye, but the fewer the better fare (said hee)
Then here were, er I came (quoth I) to many,
Here is but little meate lefte, if there be any.
And it is yll commyng, I haue heard say,
To thend of a shot, and beginnyng of a fray.
Put vp thy purs (quoth he) thou shalt none paie.
And fray here should be none, were thou gone thy way.
Here is, sens thou camst, to many feete a bed.
Welcom when thou goest. thus is thine errand sped.
I come (quoth I) to be one here, if I shall,
It is mery in halle, when berds wag all.
What, byd me welcome pyg. I pray the kys me.
Nay farewell sow (quoth he) our lord blys me
From bassyng of beastes of Beare binder lane.
I haue (quoth I) for fyne suger, faire rats bane.
Many yeres sens, my mother saide to me,
Her elders would saie, it is better to be
An olde mans derlyng, then a yong mans werlyng.
And god knowth. I knew none of this snerlyng
In my olde husbands daies. for as tenderly,
He loued me, as ye loue me sklenderly.
We drew both in one line. Quoth he wold to our lorde
Ye had in that drawyng, hangd both in one corde.
For I neuer meete the at fleshe nor at fishe,
But I haue sure a deade mans head in my dishe.
Whose best and my woorst daie, that wisht might bee,
Was when thou didst bury him and mary mee.
If you (quoth I) long for chaunge in those cases,
Wold to god he and you, had chaunged places.
But best I chaunge place, for here I may be sparde.
And for my kynde commyng, this is my rewarde.
Claw a churle by thars, and he shyteth in my hand.
Knak me that nut. much good doyt you all this band.
Must she not (quoth he) be welcome to vs all,
Among vs all, lettyng suche a farewell fall?
Suche carpenters, such chips. (quoth she) folke tell,
Suche lips, suche lettice. such welcome, such farewell.
Thine owne woords (quoth he) thine owne welcome mard.
Well (saide she) whan so euer we twayne haue iard,
My woords be pried at narowly, I espie.
Ye can see a mote in an other mans iye,
But ye can not see a balke in your owne.
Ye marke my woords, but not that they be growne,
By your reuellous rydyng on euery royle.
Well ny euery day a new mare or a moyle.
As muche vnhonest, as vnprofytable.
Whiche shall bryng vs shortly to be vnable,
To geue a dog a lofe, as I haue oft saide.
Howe be it your pleasure maie no tyme be denayde.
But still you must haue, bothe the fynest meate,
Apparall, and all thing that money maie geate,
Lyke one of fond fancy so fyne and so neate,
That would haue better bread than is made of wheate.
The best is best cheape (quoth he) men saie cleere.
Well (quoth she) a man may by gold to deere.
Ye nother care, nor welny cast what ye paie,
To by the derest for the best alwaie,
Than for your diet who vseth feedyng such,
Eate more than enough, and drink much more to much.
But temprance teacheth this, where he kepeth scoole,
He that knoweth whan he hath enough, is no foole.
Feed by measure, and defie the phisicion.
And in the contrary marke this condicion,
A smyne ouer fatte is cause of his owne bane.
Who seeth nought herein, his wit is in the wane.
But pompous prouision, comth not all, alway
Of glottony, but of pryde sometyme, some say.
But this prouerbe precheth to men haute or hye,
Hewe not to hye, lest the chips fall in thine iye.
Measure is a mery meane, as this doth show,
Not to hye for the pye, nor to lowe for the crow.
The difference betwene staryng and starke blynde.
The wise man at all tymes to folow can fynde.
And ywis an auditour of a meane wit,
Maie soone accompt, though hereafter come not yit,
Yet is he sure be the daie neuer so long,
Euermore at laste they ryng to euensong.
And where ye spend much though ye spent but lickell,
Yet littell and littell the cat eateth the flickell.
Little losse by length maie growe importable.
A mouse in tyme, maie byte a two, a cable.
Thus to ende of all things, be we leefe or lothe,
Yet lo, the pot so long to the water gothe.
Tyll at the laste it comthe home broken.
Fewe woords to the wise suffice to be spoken.
If ye were wise, here were enough (quoth shee)
Here is enough, and to muche, dame (quoth he)
For though this appeere a proper pulpet peece,
Yet whan the fox preacheth, then beware your geese.
A good tale yll tolde, in the tellyng is marde.
So are (quoth she) good tales well tolde, and yll harde.
Thy tales (quoth he) shew long heare, and short wit, wife.
But long be thy legs, and short be thy lyfe.
Pray for your selfe, I am not sicke (quoth she)
Well lets see, what thy last tale comth to (quoth he)
Thou saiest I spend all, to this, thy woords wander.
But as deepe drinketh the goose, as the gander.
Thou canst cough in the aumbry, if neede bee,
Whan I shall cough without bread or broth for thee.
Wherby while thou sendst me abrode to spende.
Thou gossepst at home, to meete me at lands ende.
Ah, than I begyle you (quoth she) this ye meane.
But syr, my pot is whole, and my water cleane.
Well, thou woldst haue me (quoth he) pinch lyke a snudge,
Euery daie to be thy driuell and drudge.
Not so (quoth she) but I would haue ye stur
Honestly, to kepe the wolfe from the dur.
I wold driue the wulfe out at doore fyrst (quoth he)
And that can I not doo, tyll I dryue out thee.
A man were better be drownde in Uenice gulfe
Than haue suche a bearded beare, or suche a wulfe.
But had I not beene witcht, my weddyng to flee,
The termes that longe to weddyng had warnde mee.
First wooyng for woing, banna for bannyng.
The banes for my bane, and than this thus scannyng,
Mariyng marryng. And what maryed I than?
A woman. As who saith, wo to the man.
Thus wed I with wo, wed I Gyll, wed I Iane.
I pray god the deuel go with the, downe the lane.
I graunt (quoth she) this dooth sound (as ye agreed)
On your syde in woords, but on my syde in deede.
Thou grantst this graunt (quoth he) without any grace,
Ungraciously, to thy syde, to tourne this case.
Leaue this (quoth she) and learne liberalitee,
To stynt stryfe, growne by your prodigalitee,
Oft said she wise man, whom I erst did bery,
Better are meales many, than one to mery.
Well (quoth he) that is answered with this wife.
Better is one monthes cheere, than a churles hole lyfe.
I thinke it learnyng of a wyser lectour,
To learne to make my selfe myne owne exectour,
Than spare for an other that might wed thee,
As the foole, thy fyrst husband spared for mee.
And as for yll places, thou sekest me in mo,
And in woorse to, than I into any go.
Wherby this prouerbe shewth the in by the weeke.
No man will an other in the ouen seeke,
Except that him selfe haue beene there before.
God geue grace thou hast beene good, I saie no more.
And wolde haue the say lesse. except thou couldst proue
Suche processe as thou sclanderously doest moue.
For sclaunder perchaunce (quoth she) I not denie.
It maie be a sclaunder, but it is no lie.
It is a lye (quoth he) and thou a lyer.
Will ye (quoth she) dryue me to touche ye nyer?
I rub the gald hors backe till he winche, and yit
He would make it seeme, that I touche him no whit.
But I wot what I wot, though I few woords make.
Many kisse the childe for the nurses sake.
Ye haue many god children to looke vpon,
And ye blesse them all, but ye basse but one.
This halfe shewth, what the hole meaneth, that I meene,
Ye fet circumquaques to make me beleue
Or thinke, that the moone is made of a greene cheese.
And whan ye haue made me a loute in all theese,
It semeth ye wolde make me go to bed at noone.
Naie (quoth he) the daie of doome shall be doone,
Er thou go to bed at noone or night for mee.
Thou art, to be plaine, and not to flatter thee,
As holsome a morsell for my comely cors.
As a shoulder of mutton for a sicke hors.
The diuell with his dam, hath more rest in hell,
Than I haue here with the. but well wif well.
Well well (quoth she) many wels, many buckets.
Ye (quoth he) and many woords, many buffets.
Had you some husband, and snapte at him thus,
Iwys he would geue you a recumbentibus.
A dog will barke er he bite, and so thow,
After thy barkyng wilt bite me, I trow now.
But it is harde to make an olde dog stoupe, lo.
Sir (quoth she) a man maie handle his dog so,
That he maie make him byte him, though he would not,
Husbandes are in heauen (quoth he) whose wiues scold not.
Thou makest me claw where it itcheth not. I would
Thy toung were coold to make thy tales more cold,
That aspine leafe, suche spitefull clappyng haue bred.
That my cap is better at ease then my hed.
God sende that hed (said she) a better nurs.
For whan the head aketh, all the bodie is the wurs.
God graunt (quoth I) the head and bodie both twoo.
To nourse eche other, better then they doo.
Or euer haue doone for the moste tymes paste.
I brought to nurs both (quoth she) had it not beene waste.
Margery good coowe (quoth he) gaue a good meele,
But than she cast it downe again with hir heele.
Howe can hir purs for profite be delitefull?
Whose person and properties be thus spitefull.
A peece of a kyd is woorth two of a cat.
Who the diuell will chaunge a rabet for a rat?
If I might chaunge, I wolde rather choose to begge,
Or sit with a rosted appull, or an egge,
Where mine appetite serueth me to bee,
Then euery daie to fare lyke a duke with thee.
Lyke a duke, lyke a duck (quoth she) thou shalt fare,
Except thou wilt spare, more than thou dost yet spare.
Thou farest to well (quoth he) but thou art so wood,
Thou knowst not who doth the harme, who doth the good.
Yes yes (quoth she) for all those wyse woords vttred,
I know on which syde my bread is buttred.
But there will no butter cleaue on my breade.
And on my bread any butter to be spreade.
Euery promise that thou therin dost vtter,
Is as sure as it were sealed with butter.
Or a mouse tied with a threede. Euery good thyng,
Thou lettest euen slyp, lyke a waghalter flypstryng.
But take vp in time, or els I protest,
All be not a bedde, that shall haue yll rest.
Now go to thy derlyngs, and declare thy greefe.
Where all thy pleasure is, hop hoore, pipe theefe.

The .viii. chapiter.

VVith this thence hopt she, wherwith o lord he cryde,
What wretch but I, this wretchednes could byde.
Howe be it in all this wo, I haue no wrong
For it onely is all on my selfe along.
Where I should haue brydled her fyrst with rough bit,
To haue made hir chew on the brydell one fit.
For likorous lucre of a little wynnyng,
I gaue hir the brydell at begynnyng.
And now she taketh the brydell in the teeth,
And runth away with it, wherby eche man seeth,
It is (as olde men right well vnderstande)
Ill puttyng a nakt swoord in a mad mans hande.
She takth such hert of grace, that though I maime hir.
Or kyll hir, yet shall I neuer reclaime hir,
She hath (they say) bene styffe necked euermore.
And it is yll healyng of an olde sore.
This prouerbe prophecied many yeres agone.
It will not out of the fleshe that is bred in the bone.
What chaunce haue I, to haue a wife of suche sort,
That will no faute amend in earnest nor sport?
A small thinge amis lately I did espy,
Whiche to make hir mende, by a iest mirily,
I saide but this, taunt tiuet wife, your nose drops.
So it maie fall, I will eate no browesse sops
This daie. But two daies after this came in vre,
I had sorow to my sops ynough be sure.
Well (quoth I) it is yll iestyng on the soothe.
Sooth bourd is no bourd, in ought that mirth doothe.
Suche iestes could not iuggle hir, were ought amis.
Nor turne melancoly to myrth. for it is
No plaiyng with a strawe before an olde cat,
Euery tryflyng toie age can not laugh at.
Ye maie walke this waie, but sure ye shall fynde,
The further ye go, the further behynde.
Ye should consyder the woman is olde.
And what for a whot woorde. Sone whot, sone colde.
Beare with them, that beare with you, and she is scand,
Not onely the fairest floure in your garland,
But also she is all the faire flowers therof,
Will ye requyte hir then with a tauntyng scof?
Or with any other kynd of vnkyndnesse?
Take heede is a faire thing. Beware this blindnesse.
Why will ye (quoth he) I shall folow hir will?
To make me Iohn drawlache, or such a snekebill.
To bryng hir solace, that bryngeth me sorow,
Byr lady, than we shall catche byrds to morow.
A good wife makth a good husbande, (they saie)
That (quoth I) ye maie tourne an other waie.
To make a good husband, make a good wyfe.
I can no more herin, but god stint all styife.
Amen (quoth he) and god haue mercy brother,
I will now mend this house, and payre an other.
And that he ment of likelyhood by his owne.
For so apairde he that, er three yeres were growne.
That little and little he decaied so long,
Tyll he at length came to buckle and bare thong.
To discharge charge, that necessarily grew,
There was no more water than the ship drew.
Suche driftes draue he, from yll to wars and wars,
Tyll he was as bare as a byrdes ars.
Money, and money woorth, did so misse him,
That he had not now one peny to blisse him.
Whiche foreseene in this woman wisely waiyng,
That meete was to staie somwhat for hir staiyng,
To kepe yet one messe for Alison in store,
She kept one bag, that he had not seene before.
A poore cooke that maie not licke his owne fyngers.
But about hir at home now still he lingers,
Not checker a boord, all was not cleere in the coste,
He lookt lyke one that had beshyt the roste.
But whether any secrete tales were sprinklyng,
Or that he by gesse had got an inklyng
Of hir hoord. or that he thought to amend.
And tourne his yll begynnyng to a good ende.
In shewyng him selfe a new man, as was feet,
That appeered shortly after, but not yeet,

The .ix. chapiter.

One daie in their arbour, whiche stoode so to mine,
That I might and did closely myne eare incline,
And likewyse cast mine eye to here and see,
What they saide and did, where they could not see mee,
He vnto hir a goodly tale began,
More like a wooer, than a wedded man.
As ferre as matter therof therin serued,
But the fyrst part from woords of wooyng swerued.
And stood vpon repentaunce, with submission,
Of his former crooked vnkynde condicion.
Praiyng hir, to forgeue and forget all free,
And he forgaue hir, as he forgeuen wolde bee.
Louyng hir now, as he full deepely swore,
As whotly as euer he loued hir before.
Well well (quoth she) what euer ye now saie,
It is to late to call again yesterdaie.
Wife (quoth he) suche maie my diligence seeme,
That thoffence of yesterdaie I maie redeeme.
God taketh me as I am, and not as I was.
Take you me so to, and let all thinges past pas.
I praie the good wife, thinke I speake and think plaine.
What, he runth far, that neuer turnth againe.
Ye be yong enough to mende, I agree it,
But I am (quoth she) to old to see it.
And amende ye or not, I am to olde a yere.
What is lyfe? where liuyng is extinct cleere.
Namely at olde yeres of leaste helpe and most neede.
But no tale coulde tune you, in tyme to take heede.
If I tune my selfe now (quoth he) it is fayre.
And hope of true tune, shall tune me from dispayre.
Beleue well, and haue well, men say. ye, (said shee)
Doo well, and haue well, men say also, we see.
But what man can beleue, that man can do well,
Who of no man will counsell take or here tell.
Whiche to you, whan any man any way tryde,
Than were ye deafe, ye could not here on that syde.
Who euer with you any tyme therin weares,
He must both tell you a tale, and fynde you eares.
You had on your haruest eares, thicke of hearyng.
But this is a question of olde enqueryng,
Who is so deafe, or so blynde, as is hee,
That wilfully will nother here nor see?
Whan I saw your maner, my herte for wo molte.
Than wolde ye mend, as the fletcher mends his bolte.
Or as sowre ale mendth in summer, I know,
And knew, which waie the winde blewe, and will blow.
Though not to my profite, a prophete was I.
I prophecied this, to true a prophecie.
Whan I was right yll beleued, and worse hard.
By flingyng from your folkes at home, which all mard.
Whan I said in semblaunce eyther cold or warme,
A man far from his good, is nye his harme.
Or wilde ye to looke, that ye lost no more,
On suche as shewe, that hungry flies byte sore.
Than wold ye looke ouer me, with stomake swolne,
Like as the diuel lookt ouer Lincolne.
The diuell is dead wife (quoth he) for ye see,
I looke lyke a lambe in all your woords to mee.
Looke as ye list now (quoth she) thus lookt ye than.
And for those lookes I shew this, to shew eche man,
Suche proofe of this prouerbe, as none is gretter.
Which saith, that some man maie steale a hors better,
Than some other may stande and looke vpone.
Leude huswiues might haue woords, but I not one
That might be aloude. But now if ye looke,
In mistakyng me, ye may see, ye tooke
The wrong way to wood, and the wrong sow by theare.
And therby in the wrong boxe to thryue ye weare,
I haue heard some, to some tell this tale not seelde.
Whan thrift is in the towne, ye be in the feelde.
But contrary, you made that sence to sowne,
Whan thrift was in the feelde, ye were in the towne.
Feelde ware might sinke or swym, while ye had eny.
Towne ware was your ware, to tourne the peny.
But towne or feelde, where most thrift did apeere,
What ye wan in the hundred ye lost in the sheere.
In all your good husbandry, thus ryd the rocke,
Ye stumbled at a strawe, and lept euer a blocke.
So many kyndes of increase you had in chioce,
And nought increase nor kepe, how can I reioyce?
Good ridyng at two ankers men haue tolde,
For if the tone faile, the tother maie holde.
But you leaue all anker holde, on seas or lands.
And so set vp shop vpon Goodwins sands.
But as folke haue a saiyng bothe olde and trew,
In that they say blacke will take none other hew.
So maie I saie here, to my deepe dolour,
It is a bad clothe that will take no colour.
This case is yours. For ye were neuer so wise,
To take specke of colour, of good aduyse.
Thaduyse of all freends I say, one and other
Went in at the tone eare, and out at the tother.
And as those woords went out, this prouerbe in came,
He that will not be ruled by his owne dame,
Shall be ruled by his stepdame, and so you.
Hauyng lost your owne good, and owne freends now,
Maie seeke your forein freends, if you haue any.
And sure one of my great greefes, among many,
Is that ye haue bene so veraie a hog,
To my freends. What man, loue me, loue me dog.
But you to cast precious stones before hogs,
Cast my good before a sort of cur dogs.
And sawte bitches. Whiche by whom now deuoured.
And your honestie amonge them defloured,
And that you maie no more expence a foorde,
Now can they not afoord you one good woorde,
And you them as fewe. And olde folke vnderstoode,
Whan theeues fall out, true men come to their goode.
Whiche is not alwaie true. For in all that bretche,
I can no ferthing of my good the more fetche.
Nor I trow them selues neither, if thei were sworne,
Light come, light go. And sure sens we were borne,
Ruine of one rauine, was there none gretter.
For by your giftes, they be as littell the better.
As you be muche the woorse and I cast awaie.
An yll wynde that blowth no man to good, men say.
Well (quoth he) euery wind blowth not downe the corne.
I hope (I saie) good happe be not all out worne.
I will nowe begin thrift, whan thrift semeth gone.
What wife there be mo waies to the wood than one.
And I will assaie all the waies to the wood,
Till I fynde one waie, to get againe this good.
Ye will get it againe (quoth she) I feare,
As shortly as a horse will licke his eare.
The Ducheman saieth, that seggyng is good cope.
Good woordes bryng not euer of good deedes good hope,
And these woords shew your woords spoken in skorne.
It pricketh betymes that will be a good thorne.
Timely crooketh the tree, that will a good camok bee.
And such beginnyng such ende. we all daie see.
And you by me at begynnyng beyng thryuen,
And than to keepe thrift could not be prickt nor driuen.
How can ye now get thrift, the stocke beyng gone?
Which is thonely thing to reise thrift vpon.
Men saie he maie yll renne, that can not go,
And your gain, without your stocke, renneth euen so.
For what is a woorkman, without his tooles?
Tales of Robin hood are good among fooles.
He can yll pype, that lackth his vpper lyp.
Who lackth a stocke, his gaine is not woorth a chip,
A tale of a tub, your tale no truth auouth,
Ye speake now, as ye would creepe into my mouth,
In pure peinted processe, as false as fayre.
How ye will amend, whan ye can not apayre.
But against gaie glosers, this rude text recites,
It is not all butter, that the coow shites.
I herd ones a wise man saie to his daughter,
Better is the last smyle, than the fyrst laughter,
We shall I trust (quoth he) laugh againe at last.
Although I be ones out of the saddle cast.
Yet sens I am bent to syt, this will I doo,
Recouer the hors, or leese the saddle too.
Ye neuer could yet (quoth she) recouer any hap,
To win or saue ought, to stop any one gap.
For stoppyng of gaps (quoth he) care not a rushe,
I will learne, to stop two gaps with one bushe.
Ye will (quoth she) as soone stop gaps with rushes,
As with any husbandly handsome bushes,
Your tales haue lyke tast, where temprance is taster,
To breake my heade, and than geue me a plaster.
Now thrifte is gone, now would ye thryue in all haste.
And whan ye had thrift, ye had like haste to waste.
Ye liked then better an ynche of your wyll,
Than an ell of your thrift. Wife (quoth he) be still.
Maie I be holpe foorth an ynche at a pinche,
I will yet thriue (I saie) As good is an inche
As an ell. Ye can (quoth she) make it so, well.
For whan I gaue you an ynche, ye tooke an ell.
Till both ell and inche be gone, and we in det.
Naie (quoth he) with a wet fynger ye can fet,
As muche as maie easyly all this matter ease,
And this debate also pleasantly appease.
I could doo as muche with an hundred pround now,
As with a thousand afore, I assure yow.
Ye (quoth she) who had that he hath not, woulde
Doo that he dooth not, as olde men haue tolde.
Had I, as ye haue, I woulde dooe more (quoth hee)
Than the preest spake of on sonday, ye should see.
Ye dooe, as I haue (qouth she) for nought I haue,
And nought ye dooe. What man, I trow ye raue,
Wolde ye bothe eate your cake, and haue your cake?
Ye haue had of me all that I might make.
And be a man neuer so greedy to wyn,
He can haue no more of the foxe but the skyn.
Well (quoth he) if ye list to bring it out,
Ye can geue me your blessyng in a clout.
That were for my child, (quoth she) had I ony,
But husband, I haue neither child, nor mony.
Ye cast and coniecture this muche like in show,
As the blind man casts his staffe, or shootes the crow.
How be it had I money right muche, and ye none,
Yet to be plaine, ye shulde haue none, for Ione.
Nay, he that first flattereth me, as ye haue doone.
And doth as ye did to me after, so soone.
He maie be in my Pater noster in deede.
But be sure, he shall neuer come in my Creede.
Aue Maria (quoth he) how much mocion
Here is to praiers, with how littell deuocion.
But some men saie, no peny no Pater noster.
I saie to suche (said she) no longer foster,
No longer lemman. But faire and well than,
Praie and shifte eche one for him selfe, as he can.
Euery man for him selfe, and god for vs all.
To those woords he saide nought, but foorthwith did fall,
From harping on that stringe, to faire flattring speeche,
And as I erst saide, he did hir so beseeche,
That things erst so far of, were now so far on,
That as she maie wallow, awaie she is gon,
Where all that was left laie with a trustie freende.
Dwellyng a good walke from hir at the townes eende,
And backe again streight a haltyng pace she hobles.
Bringyng a hag of royals and nobles.
All that she had, without restraint of one iote,
She brought bullocks noble. for noble or grote,
Had she not one mo. Whiche I after well knew.
And anon smiling, toward him as she drew,
A sir light burdeine far heauy (quoth she)
This light burdein in longe walke welny tyreth me.
God geue grace I play not the foole this daie.
For here I sende thaxe after the helue awaie.
But if ye will stint and auoyd all stryfe,
Loue and cherishe this as ye wolde my lyfe,
I will (quoth he) wife, by god almightie.
This geare comth euen in puddyng time rightlie.
He snacht at the bag. No hast but good (quoth she)
Short shootyng leeseth your game, ye maie see.
Ye myst the cushin, for all your hast to it.
And I maie set you besyde the cushyn yit.
And make you wype your nose vpon your sleeue,
For ought ye shall win without ye axe me leeue.
Haue ye not heard tell all couet all leese:
A sir, I see, ye may see no greene cheese
But your teeth must water. A good cocknay coke.
Though ye loue not to bye the pyg in the poke,
Yet snatche ye at the poke, that the pyg is in,
Not for the poke, but the pyg good chepe to wyn.
Like one halfe lost, till gredy graspyng gat it,
Ye would be ouer the style, er ye come at it.
But abyde freend, your mother bid till ye were borne.
Snatching winth it not, if ye snatche tyll to morne.
Men saie (said he) long standyng and small offring
Maketh poore persons. and in suche signes and proffring.
Many prety tales, and mery totes had they,
Before this bag came fully from hir awey.
Kindly he kyst hir, with woords not tart nor tough.
But the cat knoweth whose lips she lickth well enough.
Anone, the bag she deliuered him, and saide,
He should beare it, for that it now heauy waide.
With good will wife, for it is (said he to her)
A proude horse that will not beare his own prouander.
And oft before seemd she neuer so wyse,
Yet was she nowe, sodeinly waxen as nyse
As it had bene a halporth of syluer spoones,
Thus cloudy mornynges turne to cleere after noones.
But so ny noone it was, that by and by,
They rose, and went to diner louyngly.

The. x. chapiter.

The. xi. chapiter.