University of Virginia Library

LETTER V.

Dear Cousin Ephraim. — I spose you expected me
to write to you agin long afore now and tell you something
more about these legislaters, and I meant to, but I
could n't very well; for I'll tell you jest how twas. —
Some days, when the legislater would get into a plaguy
hobble, I would think to myself, well, soon as they get
out of this snarl, I'll write to cousin Ephraim and tell
him all about it; but before they got fairly out of that,
they'd be right into another; and if I waited till next

day to see how that ended, my keesers! before night
they'd all be higgledy piggle in a worse hobble than
they'd ever been in afore. So if I wait to tell you how
it comes out, I believe I shall have to wait till haying
time. Another thing I've been waiting for, was to tell
you who was Governor. — But, O dear, I cant find out
half so much about it now, here in this great city of
Portland, where all the Governors live, as I could six
months ago among the bear traps and log houses in our
town, way back in the woods. Last August, you know,
according to the papers we were going to have two
Governors right off, sure as rates; Mr Hunton and Mr
Smith. Well now its got to be the first of February,
and we haven't got one yet. And although the governor-makers
have had four or five under way for a month
past, some think it very doubtful whether they will get
one done so as to be fit to use this year. There's Mr
Hunton, and Mr Smith, and Mr Cutler, and Mr Goodenow,
and Mr Hall, have all been partly made into Governors;
but when in all creation any of 'em will be finished,
I guess it would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to
tell. I stated in my letter to uncle Joshua, that there
were two very clever parties in the legislater, the democratic
republikans and the national republikans; and
they are so, and very industrious, and try to make things
go on right; and I really believe, if the confounded
Jacksonites and Huntonites didn't bother 'em so, they 'd
make us a Governor, as quick as I could make an ax
handle. It is enough to do any body's heart good to see
how kind and obliging these democratic republikans and
national republikans are to each other, and how each
party tries to help the other along; and its enough to
make any body's blood boil to see the Jacksonites and
Huntonites, jest like the dog in the manger, because they
cant eat the hay themselves, snap at these two clever
parties the moment either of 'em sets out to take a
mouthful. I'll jest give you an instance of the kindness
that these two clever parties show to each other. — You
know the constitution says when we haven 't any Governor
the President of the Sinnet must be Governor,
and when we have 'nt any President of the Sinnet, the
Speaker of the House must be Governor. So when
Governor Lincoln died Mr Cutler was Governor for
awhile, because he was last year President of the Sinnet.
Mr Goodenow is a national republikan, and when
he was elected Speaker of the House, the democratic republikans
told him as there was no President of the
Sinnet elected yet, it belonged to him to be Governor,
and tried as hard as though he had belonged to their
own party, to encourage him to go right into the council
chamber and do the governor's business. But the
national republikans didn't dare to let him go, for he
was elected by only one majority, and they said if he
should leave the chair, it wouldn't be five minutes before
a Jacksonite would be whisked into it, and then the two
clever parties would all be up a tree. Well, jest so twas
in the Sinnet after Elder Hall was elected President,
only the bread was buttered on tother side. Elder Hall is
a democratic republikan, and there was a great deal tougher
scrabble to elect him, than there was to choose the
Speaker of the House. But as soon as he was elected,
the national republikans went to him very kindly, and
said, `Elder Hall, by the provisions of the constitution
you are now fairly Governor of the State till another
governor is qualified. Dont be bashful about it, but
please to walk right into the Council chamber, and do
the governor's business.' But the democratic republikans
said, that would never do, for if he should, the Sinnet
Board would be capsized in an instant and the Huntonites
would rule the roast. — So there was a pair of
Governors spoilt when they were more than half made,
jest by the mischief of the Jacksonites and Huntonites.
And the consequence is, that Mr Cutler has to keep doing
the Governor's business yet, whether he wants to or
not, and whether it is right for him to, or not. They
say the poor man is a good deal distressed about it, and
has sent to the great Judges of the Supreme Court to
know whether it's right for him to be Governor any
longer or not. If the Judges should say he mus 'nt be
Governor any longer, we shall be in a dreadful pickle.
Only think, no Governor, and no laws, but every body
do jest as they're a mind to. Well, if that should be
the case, I know one thing, that is, Bill Johnson will get
one good flogging for calling me a mean puppy and a
coward last summer; I've longed to give it to him ever
since; and if the Legislater don't make a governor this
winter, I shall come right home, and Bill must look out.
What a pity 'tis they should waste so much time trying
to make so many governors; for, if they should make
a dozen, we shouldn't want to use but one this year;
and it is thought if they had all clapt to and worked
upon one instead of working upon so many, they might
have had him done more than three weeks ago.