University of Virginia Library

R [10]

RALEIGH, Walt., one of the men who was permitted to hold hands with Queen Elizabeth. His other feats were the introduction of the pipe into England and the plug into Ireland.

RAMESES II, an Egyptian king who went about building burial mountains, statues to himself, and permitting cigarettes to be named after him.

RAPHAEL, a decorator who took paint in its raw state and made it worth money. Filled walls, principally in Italy, with some expensive paintings, and, like Angelo, used the Vatican as his studio. Ambition: Churches with larger walls. Recreation: Painting, art, and canvas weaving. Address: All galleries.

RÉCAMIER, Madame, of Paris. Supplied the society column to the newspapers. To be invited to her salon meant that you would get plenty to eat, that you were somebody, that you would see somebody, and that you would have to wear your Sunday clothes. Her R. S. V. P.'s were always accepted. R. finally lost her money, and with it her

friends. Ambition: The man of the hour. Epitaph: When She Had It She Spent It.

REMBRANDT, Dutch painter who specialized in portraits of old ladies and Rembrandt. Also brought considerable fame down upon himself by filling a museum in Amsterdam with tourist-drawing paintings.

REMINGTON, the man who invented a typewriter at which many pretty stenographers [11] sit.

REVIEWER, The Book, he is the fellow who said a chef-d'œuvre like Who Was Who should be used for ballast.

RHODES, Cecil, a poor boy who saved his money and purchased South Africa.

RHODES, Colossus of, a giant of antiquity who was not killed by a stone. He rusted to death.

RICHELIEU, Cardinal, the man who held down the throne for Louis XIII, and disagreed with the Duke of Buckingham.

RITZ, innkeeper who made hotels in which we all would like to stop, but cannot. Ambition: Americans and English nobility. Recreation: Visiting his hotels. Address: Ritz and Carlton. Clubs: Does not need any.

ROBESPIERRE, a French politician who had the opportunity of doing to his enemies what most politicians would like to do to theirs. Was finally voted out and down.

ROBINSON, Jack, brother of Sam Hill. He claimed distinction simply because some people were sufficiently clever to do things before his name could be pronounced.

ROCKEFELLER, John D., an American who endeavored to drive his camel through the eye of a needle by giving advice, building churches and colleges, and squeezing competitors. Like all millionaires, he was born penniless. R. worked hard, helped the missions out of his $3 a week, married, and purchased some oil fields. He struck oil. He made it in a trust. Then he began purchasing colleges to keep young men out of business. As his wealth increased his stomach and hair wore out. Could make seven people dizzy thinking of his money. Spent the latter portion of his life dodging subpœnæ servers, and doubling his fortune by the dissolution of his business. Ambition: More churches, colleges, and less competition. Also another Supreme Court decision. Recreation: Golf, the coiffeurs, and telling young men of the futility of competition. Address: Courts and church. Clubs: Y. M. C. A., when he can spare the time from his legal and congressional investigations.

ROCKEFELLER, John D., Jr., the little Rockefeller who will have the fun of spending it. He was a good boy, and told other young men how fortunate they were in being born poor and all about the fungus which grows on the root of all evil. Never knew what a good time he could have with his Dad's

coin in Paris. Ambition: To be like father. Recreation: Sunday school. Occupation: Forming new trusts and enlarging the old ones. Clubs: Y. M. C.A.

RODIN, August, a Frenchman who did his utmost to fill European and American galleries with statues at a price which would have made Mike Angelo a billionaire.

ROJESVENSKY, Admiral, a great Russian admiral and sea fighter who gloriously defeated the fishing squadron in the English Channel. Later hit a snag in the Orient.

ROMEO, Juliet's best fellow, who learned that his road to true love ended in a cemetery.

ROMULUS, Remus' twin. Collaborated with his brother in home life and in building Rome.

ROOSEVELT, Theodore, nom de plume, T. R., Teddy, press agent, The Outlook, "I,'' traveler, teddy bear manufacturer, lecturer, interview giver, museum collector, "ME,'' Guildhall orator, dee-lighted, "MYSELF,'' mooser, hunter, band-wagon driver, band-wagon, Panama canal, rough rider, circus leader, circus, down-with-rafter, and a former retired and retiring president of the United States. When a young man he spent his father's money by going to college, shooting lions, and raising a large family. During the Spanish-American War he employed a troop of rough riders, stormed San Juan Hill, and got into the newspapers. Made up his mind he would stay there. R. became governor of

"T. Roosevelt."

[Description: A man popping out of a grave and smacking the behind of an elephant with a tombstone.]

blank page New York State with ambitions. Being a wealthy man, and capable of contributing to the cause of the Republican party, he was elected vice-president of the United States. A hand other than his own made him president. Here his newspaper career really began. R. first opened a three-ring circus in the White House, wore a rough rider hat, and told the country what a great president he was. The voters believed him, and did not object to four years more. During this administration R. successfully advertised himself, the family, started the Panama Canal, and appointed one William Howard Taft (see Poor Bill) his successor. R. then traveled through Africa with a magnificent body guard of photographers and newspaper men. After shooting a museum-full of specimens, he toured Europe and told the king how to king and the emperors how to emp. Returning to the United States he placed his hand in state politics. Fingers were badly burned. When it came time to elect another president, R. was tired of scene shifting and yearned for the bouquets of the audience. He girded up his loins with the robes of sanctity, placed an international Harvester Trust halo over his head, and proclaimed himself a second Moses who was destined to lead the children of America out of the Land of the Frying Pan into that of the Fire. With a mighty army of politicians, who also wanted to get back, R. started his campaign with such a huge band he could not hear any others. The fight was based on telling the voters how easily they had been deceived four years earlier in what he had told them concerning that "molycoddle Taft.'' R. was elected by the greatest majority in history until the ballots were hatched. Later he joined the ranks of William Jennings Bryan. Publications: The "I'' books. Ambition: To get back into Who's Who and Washington. Address: The Outlook. Oyster Bay for newspapermen. Clubs: Founder of the Ananias. Epitaph: Same as Bryan's.

ROTHSCHILDS, the Morgan-Rockefellers of Europe without quite as much money.

ROY, Robert, a very wicked Scotchman whom we all hope will always escape the police.

RUBENS, P. P., an artist who realized styles frequently changed, and therefore painted fat people without their clothes.

RUSSE, Charlotte, a pleasant creature, but one who sometimes caused pain after a visit.

RUSSIA, T. H. E., Czar of, an anti-bomb loving monarch with modern subjects and a tenth-century brain. His childhood was spent in a steel-lined cage, guarded by the army and the fleet. He was crowned in a bomb-proof church by a thoroughly searched clergyman, only the crown, the crowner, and the crowned being present to witness the ceremony. Seldom goes about the country, as he fears the heartfelt expressions of his subjects. In 1908 he became mixed up with Japan. Is now economizing. Ambition: Only life. Recreation: Dissolving Doumas.

signing death warrants. Address: Large packages are always opened by the servants. Send letters care St. Petersburg police department. Clubs: Army. Epitaph: It Is A Wonder He Did Not Have This Long Ago.