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F

FAGAN, the Hebrew benefactor of Oliver Twist, whose name did not fit his religion.

FAHRENHEIT, inventor of an instrument which enables a person to ascertain whether the weather is warm or cold.

FAILURE, T. H. E., a failure. Supposed to have idled away his younger days. Believed to have dissipated. Said not to have applied himself to school or business. Found fault with life and everybody, but was never wrong himself. Unpopular. A great blamer. A lover of revolvers, rivers, and the poor house. Frequently seen in the under world. Ambition: The other fellow. Recreation: Too much. Address: All large cities. Clubs: None. Epitaph: Here Lies A Man Who Never Really Tried.

FALLIERES, Armand, occupied a prominent position in the French government for seven years. One of the most distinguished of the vast collection of ex-presidents now scattered over the world.

FALSTAFF, a celebrated drunk.

FASHION, Dame, heart breaker, bank account ruiner, and patron saint of French shop-keepers. She went about the large stores changing the cut of ladies' clothes and the shape of their hats. Created some awful looking things. F. made the poor men work very hard to keep up to her. Publications: Editor of all Ladies' Magazines. Address: Paris, London, and New York City. Epitaph: (Would that she had one.)

FAUST, chemist, traveler. A gay old man who fell in love during his second young manhood, traveled in a warm country, and sang his way to fame.

FAWKS, Guy, a man who attempted to make an impression in Parliament without introducing home rule or suffrage bills.

FINN, Huc, a bosom friend of Thomas Sawyer (see Tom).

FITZIMMONS, Robert, an obsolete fighter who wishes he could rub the black spot from the ring.

FLETCHER, the inventor of chewing.

FLORADORA, an American chorus girl, who was some popular with the men. She appeared in all large cities with the best looking chorus that ever

wore tights. F. created such a sensation that every living actress of note is willing to be classified as a former member of her company. Had a miserable cigar named after her. Ambition: Revival. Grave: New York City. Epitaph: There Were Not Many Like Flora.

FOGG, P., The man Jules Verne sent around the world in sixty days for a big sale.

FOOL, A., a spendthrift lover. Fell in love with an unintelligent woman and one who never could understand. Followed his natural bents, even as you and I. Wasted several years. Wept profusely. End unknown. Recreation: Vampires. Epitaph: He Was Not The Only One.

FRANKLIN, Benjamin, one of the few Americans endowed with brains. He discovered that lightning was composed of electricity, that politics paid better than printing, and that the French Court was more lively than the Continental Congress.

FRERES, Pathe, patron of the motion picture fanatics.

FRIEND, A., the scarcest thing on earth. A rare visitor, but he came around a few times in a lifetime. F. was glad to know of your success, pitied you in your failures, and shook you by the hand when you were down and out. Never borrowed money, but he frequently lent it. Was a wise counsellor. Very popular. His name was frequently given the baby (see Mischief). Ambition: The other fellow's welfare. Recreation: At the other fellow's house.

Address: The other fellow's house or his own. Clubs: All.

FRITCHIE, Barbara, a Southern target. Sprang into poetry as the only woman in the history of mankind who admitted her old age.

FULTON, Robert, inventor. Another brainy American who made a fortune for the Cunard and White Star lines.