Poems on Several Occasions :: :: University of Virginia Library

'Twixt Wit and Humor, pretty Miss,
The Diff'rence, I opine, is this,
Bright as the Sun, and light as Air,
Is Wit, a spritely meteor Fair,
The Daughter of gay-skirted Iris,
Phœbus, that flashy God, her Sire is:
Humor, an arch young Wag, all Glee,
First-born of Miss Euphrosine
By Phœbus eke;—In Masquerade
He so bewitch'd the tempting Maid,
That she resign'd her unzon'd Charms,
All joyous, to his rakish Arms.

Half-Sister She, and He Half-Brother,
They're oft mista'en for one another;
And yet—however near ally'd,
In many Things they differ wide.

Wit, like a Sweet-Meat at Repast,
Gives a delicious pungent Taste;
Humor, a standing Dish more plain,
Invites with—Cut and come again;
The one a British Roast-Beef Treat,
The other Cayenne to the Meat;
Depriv'd of their enliv'ning Aid,
In vain Thalia's Feast's display'd,
Zestless each Dish, the Bev'rage queer,
And spiritless as dead Small-Beer,
While all the Guests are yawning seen,
Infected with November Spleen.

281

Wit—like Jove's Lightning from the Skies,
Strikes with delightful wild surprize;
Humor—a cheerful lasting Blaze
O'er laughing Fields and Meads displays;
With Phiz Cervantic holds a Glass,
Where Nature's flitting Objects pass;—
Wit's Flash—to the congenial Mind
Alone, presents her Scenes refin'd.

On Humor Laughter joyous waits,
And Health and Cheerfulness creates,
But Wit, tho' Smiles her Visage beam,
Of coarser Joy knows no Extreme.

Humor on Character depends,
Depriv'd of that his being ends;
Whereas from Peer, Priest, Clown or Cit,
What's Wit in One, in All is Wit.

Humor, in fine, like Stays must fit
The Body which he aims to hit;
Whilst pliant Wit, like outside Cloak,
Fits you a thousand diff'rent Folk:—

Humor and Wit's chief Recreation
Their fav'rite Hunt is Affectation;
Tho' Vice obliquely to the Heart,
They sometimes pierce with stinging Dart;
Both tickle when they give the Wound,
Both Cordial Bitter-Sweets are found;
A Janus Mask they sometimes wear
And stiff-lac'd Prudes and Blockheads scare,
Who Fribble-like, Oh fy! exclaim,
And think all double Things a Shame;
With such, trite Sentiment is Taste,
And want of Wit and Humor—Chaste.

282

Sometimes like Swiss they fight for Pay,
And Vice's dark Commands obey;
When thus their Talents they misplace,
Their Sire condemns 'em to Disgrace,
Their Arrows blunts, or backward wings
To their own Hearts the barbed Stings.

Thalia oftentimes invokes
Wit's Flash, and Master Humor's Jokes;
But coy, they seldom Succour lend,
And but by Fits and Starts attend.

In Congreve, Butler, Wicherley,
Than Humor far more Wit we see;
In Fielding, Addison, Moliere,
Than Wit more Humor does appear;
Sometimes so lovingly they join,
They seem like Man and Wife—but One;
Thus Shakespear, Swift, and Sterne are found
With equal Portions to abound.

This certain Rule we may admit,
Where Humor is, oft flashes Wit;
And where Wit strikes us, not far distant
Humor attends as Wit's Assistant;
For Sister-like and loving Brother,
They're vastly fond of one another.

Living Example wou'd you find,
Where Wit and Humor are combin'd,
Search not our modern Bards among,
Their Sans Souci's fair B---n's Tongue.