66. CHAPTER LXVI.
MENTOR AND TELEMACHUS.
Drawing his chair near to Abel's, General Belch lighted a
cigar, and said:
“You see it's not so very hard.”
Abel looked inquiringly.
“To go to Congress,” answered Belch.
“Yes, but I'm not elected yet, thank you.”
General Arcularius Belch blew a long, slow cloud, and gazed
at his companion with a kind of fond superiority.
“What do you mean by looking so?” asked Abel.
“My dear Newt, I was not aware that you had such a soft
spot. No, positively, I did not know that you had so much
to learn. It is inconceivable.”
The General smiled, and smoked, and looked blandly at his
companion.
“You're not elected yet, hey?” asked the General, with an
amused laugh.
“Not that I am aware of,” said Abel.
“Why, my dear fellow, who on earth do you suppose does
the electing?”
“I thought the people were the source of power,” replied
Abel, gravely.
The General looked for a moment doubtfully at his companion.
“Hallo! I see you're gumming. However, there's one thing.
You know you'll have to speak after the election. Did you
ever speak?”
“Not since school,” replied Abel.
“Well, you know the cue. I gave it to you to-night. The
next thing is, how strong can you come down?”
“You know I've failed.”
“Of course you have. That's the reason the boys will expect
you to be very liberal.”
“How much?” inquired Abel.
“Let me see. There'll be the printing, halls, lights, ballots,
advertisements— Well, I should say a thousand dollars, and
a thousand more for extras. Say two thousand for the election,
and a thousand for the committee.”
“Devil! that's rather strong!” replied Abel.
“Not at all,” said General Belch. “Your going to Washington
secures the grant, and the grant nets you at least three
thousand dollars upon every share. It's a good thing, and
very liberal at that price. By-the-by, don't forget that you're
a party man of another sort. You do the dancing business,
and flirting—”
“Pish!” cried Abel; “milk for babes!”
“Exactly. And you're going to a place that swarms with
babes. So give 'em milk. Work the men through their
wives, and mistresses, and daughters. It isn't much understood
yet; but it is a great idea.”
“Why don't you go to Congress?” asked Abel, suddenly.
“It isn't for my interest,” answered the General. “I make
more by staying out.”
“How many members are there for Belch?” continued Abel.
The General did not quite like the question, nor the tone
in which it was asked. His fat nose glistened for a moment,
while his month twisted into a smile, and he answered,
“They're only for Belch as far as Belch is for them—”
“Or as far as Belch makes them think he is,” answered
Abel, smiling.
The General smiled too, for he found the game going against
him.
“We were speaking of your speech,” said he. “Now,
Newt, the thing's in your own hands. You've a future before
you. With the drill of the party, and with your talents,
you ought to do any thing.”
“Too many rivals,” said Abel, curtly.
“My dear fellow, what are the odds? They can't do any
thing outside the party, or without the drill. Make it their
interest not to be ambitious, and they're quiet enough. Here's
William Condor—lovely, lovely William. He loves the people
so dearly that he does nothing for them at twenty thousand dollars
a year. Tell him that you will secure him his place, and
he's your humble servant. Of course he is. Now I am more
familiar with the details of these things, and I'm always at your
service. Before you go, there will be a caucus of the friends
of the grant, which you must attend, and make a speech.”
“Another speech?” said Abel.
“My dear fellow, you are now a speech-maker by profession.
Now that you are in Congress, you will never be free
from the oratorical liability. Wherever two or three are
gathered together, and you are one of them, you'll have to return
thanks, and wave the glorious flag of our country. And
you'll have to begin very soon.”
