University of Virginia Library

12. XII.
SQUIBOB'S “COMPOSITION OF ARMIES,”

A NEW METHOD OF ATTACK AND DEFENCE OF POSTS.

The subject of composition of Armies, that of
fortification, and the attack and defense of military
posts, have for many years been considered of
the first importance to the safety and welfare of
nations, and have in consequence, been elaborately
treated of by Vauban, Cormontaigne and other
eminent scientific men, of their own and later
periods.

With the advance of civilization, refinement
and scientific discovery, we should naturally be
led to expect new discoveries and improvements
in these important branches of the military art.

Such is however by no means the case. Whether
a state of peace has operated unfavorably to the
prosecution of military research, or that the great

minds of modern philosophers are turned exclusively
to such sources of discovery as may operate
more to their personal emolument than to the
benefit of future generations, it is useless to discuss,
— true it is, however, that in all essential
particulars the art of war remains in precisely the
same state that it was left by the savans who
wrote upon it half a century ago.

Feeling deeply the necessity of some more perfect
means of defence than these comparatively
uneducated and uninformed writers have left us,
the writer remembering the maxim of the immortal
Washington, “In time of peace prepare for
war,” has devoted himself exclusively for two
days to the most close and vigorous research into
the principles of the military art, and has finally,
by combining the most valuable ideas of the more
scientific writers slightly modified by some originality
of his own, obtained a system of defence
which he thinks more suited to the present advanced
stage of science.

This system he would present with becoming

deference and humility to the approval of his
brother officers, with the hope that they will think
it peculiarly adapted to the defence of our own
beloved country, when left, in accordance with
the message of a late executive, to the tender
mercies of armed steamboats and the militia.

And first, with regard to the composition of
armies for offensive operations in the field. For
this purpose let a body of men between the ages
of eighteen and forty-five be selected, if for immediate
active service, blacks should be selected,
as being undoubtedly more offensive than whites.
These men, after being properly drilled to act in
concert, should be armed in the following manner.
Each man to be provided with one of
Colt's patent revolving six-barreled rifles, with the
necessary ammunition.

2d. A large tin case perforated with holes on
the top, is to be filled with black pepper and
suspended by the right side.

3d. A dress cap made of tin and lined with
flannel, the top of which is a cylinder containing

the material for generating sulphuretted hydrogen
gas, with a stop-cock in front, opening by the
pressure of a spring, immediately over his right
ear. Each man on being enlisted should be furmished
with a staunch and well trained bull-dog,
which he will take the greatest possible care of,
and which he should teach carefully to come and
go at his command. (See Page 128.)

Both men and dogs should be accustomed by
frequent drills to the odor of the gas they carry
about them, and should be exercised frequently
with their pepper pots before being taken into the
field. Sneezing on such occasions should be looked
upon as a serious military delinquency, and treated
accordingly. These preliminary steps being taken,
the troops are ready for service.

On the eve of a battle, they will throw up a
continuous line in their front, consisting of a parapet
and ditch of the usual form and dimensions.

On the advance of the enemy they open a rapid
and severe fire with their revolving rifles, which
must of course appal and disconcert the enemy.

On the slightest symptoms of retreat, the bull-dogs
will be loosed and encouraged to charge the retreating
foe. This they will do en masse, and
seizing the unhappy wretches by the seats of their
trowsers, will delay their progress or drag them
back within close rifle shot. This will generally
decide the affair. If, however, in consequence of
vast numbers or determined bravery, the enemy
advance to the trench, a warm fire must be
kept up.

On coming to close quarters, the men will use
their pepper pots vigorously. Nothing can withstand
this system, — with eyes smarting and blinded
with pepper, noses offended with the stench of
the parapet, deafened by the barking of the dogs
and incessantly annoyed by their sharp and tenacious
gripe, the enemy, though composed of the
best materials that ever made up an army, must
give way and fall an easy prey in their torturing
retreat, to our victorious arms.

When flying artillery is used in connection with

these troops, it will consist of four and six pound
field-pieces, carefully strapped on the backs of
stout jackasses and pointed to the rear. These
being fired the recoil will arouse all the natural obstinacy
of the animal, who, thinking he is pushed
forward, will instantly move stern first, with incredible
celerity, towards the enemy. When a
retreat is ordered, the men serving the gun will
pull the beast's tail, who will immediately change
his motion and rush forward with impetuosity. It
is thus that man shows his supremacy over the
brute creation, in rendering even their evil dispositions
subservient to his designs. (See Page 128.)

The next subject proposed for our consideration,
is that of fortification.

We have seen in the works of Vauban, Mahan,
Cormontaigne etc., that in following their various
systems, — however well we may fortify a place,
however carefully we may defilade our works, and
satisfy the conditions imposed as requisite to a good
defence, we are still unable to render a place impregnable.

It is acknowledged by all writers upon
this subject, that the beseigers have an advantage
over the beseiged, which however well it may
be defended, will inevitably lead sooner or later to
the capture of their work. With this great principle
established, our course is a very simple one.
In fortifying a particular site, let the space to be
occupied by the garrison be entirely inclosed by a
continuous line of bastioned fronts, constructed according
to the most approved modern system.

There will however, be this slight difference, — all
the salients will be directed inwards, toward the
common centre, and the gorges of the bastions,
demi-lunes, etc., turned outward, and left entirely
unprotected. This will give the garrison all the
advantages claimed by the besiegers; for the besieging
army marching up, will immediately occupy
the works from without. The garrison having,
in expectation of this movement, made the necessary
preparations, will instantly commence the
construction of parallels, boyaux, etc., and in forty

nights with the assistance of divine providence,
and in accordance with our distinguished authority,
infallibly carry the place, thus completely
turning the tables on their adversaries.

In constructing the trenches, the mens' coats
should be carefully lined behind with sheet-iron,
and thus rendered musket proof. This will prevent
the necessity of defiling the trenches from a
severe fire, — if indeed the bull-dogs have not
already defiled them sufficiently.

The writer will here leave the subject. It is
however his intention to submit these notes to the
War department, and if his sanguine expectations
should be realized, his system adopted, and he
should meet with that reward which he modestly
believes his suggestions deserve, — an immediate
brevet, — he assures his comrades that he shall
never consider himself in the least elevated above
them. He will always be happy to meet them,
and if they should be so fortunate as to receive
commissions in regiments formed upon his system,

he can recommend them a man who will sell them
most excellent bull-dogs of a fierce and savage
breed, — and pepper-pots of a new and peculiar
construction.