University of Virginia Library

1. I.
FOURTH OF JULY ORATION IN OREGON.

Correspondence.

Oration:

DELIVERED AT FORT VANCOUVER W. T., ON THE FOURTH OF JULY,
1856, BY JOHN PHŒNIX, £ S. D., SERGEANT MAJOR, EIGHTY-THIRD
REGIMENT, OREGON TERRITORY LIGHT MULES.

“Brother Soldiers and Fellow Citizens:—
I feel honored by the call that I have received and
accepted to deliver on this great occasion, the glorious
anniversary of our nation's independence, the
customary oration. The word oration signifying a
public address, I have reason to believe has a mil

itary origin. It originated in a custom once prevalent
among commanding officers and chaplains,
of making long and verbose addresses to the troops,
which were stigmatized as `all talk and no rations,'
whence the word noration, modernized into oration.
The term address has also a similar origin, it
having been the custom for the troops to be dressed
to the right before the oration was delivered.
From the word noration is derived the common
expression — common in the sweet and classic vales
of Pike — `to norate.' Thus we hear an individual
wishing to refer to an anecdote related to him
in early life by his grandmother, say, `I hurd her
norrate it.'

“This explanation may appear irrelevant and
uninteresting; but I never lose an opportunity to
impart a little valuable information.

“Brother soldiers and fellow citizens: It is the
Fourth of July. This morning, at half-past two
o'clock, every inhabitant of this great, free, and
enlightened republic, amounting in number to several
millions, was awakened from a sleep by the

discharge of cannon, the explosion of fire-crackers,
and the continued and reïterated shouts of little
boys, and children of larger growth. From that
time until four o'clock sleep has been rendered impossible,
and every inhabitant of this republic has
had an opportunity to reflect with gratitude and
thankfulness on the wisdom of our progenitors,
and the greatness of our institutions; until at that
hour the bells of every church, meeting-house, factory,
steam-boat, and boarding-house throughout
the land, beginning to pour forth a merry and universal
peal, joining in the glad anthem of our nation's
independence, every citizen has got up, put
on his pantaloons, taken a cock-tail, and commenced
the celebration of the day in good earnest.

“Throughout our whole vast extent of country,
from Hancock Barracks, Houlton, Maine, where
they pry the sun up in the morning, to Fort Yuma
on the Colorado River, where the thermometer
stands at 212° in the shade, and the hens lay hard
hard-boiled eggs, this day will be a day of hilarity,
of frolicking and rejoicing.

“Processions will be formed, churches will be
thronged, orations will be delivered, (many of
them, possibly, of a superior character to this of
mine,) the gallant militia, that right arm of our
national defence, will pervade the streets in astounding
uniforms, whereof it may be said that
Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one
of these. Small boys will fire pistols and burn
their fingers; large boys will fire cannon and blow
off their arms; men will guzzle inebriating liquors,
and become much intoxicated thereby; and
a mighty shout will go up from the land, which,
if the wind happens to be in the right direction,
will cause the Emperor Alexander to tremble in
his boots, and the young Napoleon to howl in his
silver cradle. For on this day the great American
eagle flaps her wings, and soars aloft, until it
makes your eyes sore to look at her, and looking
down upon her myriads of free and enlightened
children, with flaming eye, she screams, `E Pluribus
Unum,' which may be freely interpreted,
`Aint I some?' and myriads of freemen answer

back with joyous shout: `You are punkins!'
On this glorious day, joy, good feeling, and good
nature animate each breast; babies cease to cry,
ladies cease to scold, all is amiability; and I hesitate
not to say, that were the commanding general
of this Division on this day to ask the Governor
of Oregon for a chew of tobacco, he would hand
over the whole plug without a moment's delay or
hesitation. And what is the cause of this general
rejoicing, this universal hilarity, this amiable state
of feeling, this love and veneration for this particular
day of all days in the year — a day when the
native American forgets all prejudices, and, though
loving his country better than aught else, feels well
disposed toward every thing beside — a day that
our German population respect and speak of as
`more better as good' — a day which Pat, who
believes one man is as good as another, and a
mighty sight better, reverences as he does `Saint
Patrick's in the morning' — a day when aught unpleasant
is forgotten, and mirth, and jollity, and
fire-crackers abound. I will endeavor to inform
you. Many years ago, before Vancouver was ever
born or thought of, when the present magnificent
city of Portland was but a wild forest of fir timber,
and the waters of these mighty rivers, now
daily ploughed by the splendid steamer `Eagle,'
were navigated by the Indian chief Multnomah in
his dug-out, provisioned with salmon and whortle-berries,
there dwelt in the far-off city of Genoa, a
worthy merchant named Daniel Lumbus, who
prosecuted his business as a dealer in velvets, under
the name and style of Lumbus & Co.

“This merchant, at a somewhat advanced age,
was blest with a son of great promise, whom, out
of compliment to his partners, he named Christopher
Co Lumbus. From his earliest infancy this
youth showed an ardent desire for a maritime life;
and old Lumbus gratified his inclinations by sending
him to sea.

“In those days popular opinion turned to the
belief that this world on which we live was a large
square table, or plane surface, supported on columns
of rocks, which extended all the way down.

Columbus, however, dissented from this opinion,
and believing the earth to be a globe or ball, decided
in his own mind that it might be feasible to
start in a given direction, and sail clear round it,
returning to the point of departure. Having communicated
these views to Isabella, the Queen of
Arragon, that lady, who was somewhat of an enthusiast,
and had a srong conviction that Columbus
was `one of them,” sold her hoop ear-rings
and other jewelry, and fitted out three top-sail
schooners, of which she gave him the command.

“With these vessels, Christopher sailed in 1492,
and after the most unheard-of trials and difficulties,
encountering many head-winds, and much opposition
from his crew, finally discovered the West
India Islands, whence he immediately returned
with a cargo of rum and sugar. This extraordinary
discovery being noised abroad, a Spanish captain,
who from his jovial disposition was called A
Merry Cuss, sailed away, and discovered this continent,
which, from its discoverer, derived the
name of America. Then New England was discovered

by John Cabot, and Virginia by Walter
Raleigh, who also discovered tobacco, and gave
himself dyspepsia by smoking it to excess, and
Pocahontas was discovered by John Smith, and
South Carolina by Calhoun.

“Emigration from Great Britian and other
countries then commenced, and continued to a
tremendous extent, and all our fore-fathers, and
eight grandfathers, came over and settled in the
land.

“They planted corn and built houses, they
killed the Indians, hung the Quakers and Baptists,
burned the witches alive, and were very happy
and comfortable indeed. So matters went on
very happily, the colonies thus formed owing allegiance
to the government of Great Britain until
the latter part of the eighteenth century, when a
slight change took place in their arrangements.
The king of Great Britain, a Dutchman of the
name of George Guelph, No. 3, having arrived at
that stage of life when Dutchmen generally, if at
all inclined that way, naturally begin to give way

to ill-temper and obstinacy, became of a sudden
exceedingly overbearing and ill-disposed toward
the colonies. He had offenders sent to England to
be tried; he was down on a bank and a protective
tariff, and began to be considered little better than
an abolitionist. He also put in effect an ordinance
called the Stamp Act, which prevented applause in
places of public amusement, prevented the protection
of cattle against flies, and interfered with the
manufacture of butter; and he finally capped the
climax of his audacious impositions by placing
such a tremendous duty on tea, that our female
ancestors could not afford to drink that exhilarating
beverage. Our ancestors were patient and
long-suffering, but they could not stand every
thing.

“Souchong and Young Hyson cost about
twelve-and-a-half cents a cup; and our grandmothers
were weeping with vexation, and would
not be comforted with herb-tea and decoctions of
sassafras. They annoyed our grandfathers to that
extent that they rebelled, got up a Vigilance Committee

in Boston, and destroyed two cargoes of
English tea, and were fired on by the British
troops in consequence. Then the whole country
flew to arms; the battles of Concord and of Lexington
followed, and our grandfathers went marching
up to the tune of Yankee Doodle to the top
of Bunker's Hill, whence they did not march
down until they had given the British troops a
most fearful and ever-to-be-remembered whipping.
By this time it suddenly occurred to some of the
smartest of our respectable ancestors that it was a
good long way to the little island of England, that
there was a good many people in the provinces,
and that perhaps they were quite as able to govern
themselves as George Guelph No. 3 was to
govern them. They accordingly appointed delegates
from the various Provinces or States, who,
meeting together in Philadelphia on the fourth day
of July, 1776, decided to trouble the King of England
no longer, and gave to the world that glorious
Declaration of Independence, to the support
of which they pledged their lives, their fortunes,
and their sacred honor. This was the birth-day
of Freedom — the birth-day of the United States,
now eighty years of age; and as there are few of
us but feel some inclination to celebrate our own
birth-day, there can be little wonder that we celebrate
the birth-day of our country in so joyous,
earnest, and enthusiastic a manner.

“Love of country is strongly impressed on every
mind; but, as Americans, we should and in
fact do have this feeling more strongly developed
than any other citizens of the world. For our
country is a free country; its institutions are wise
and liberal, and our advantages as its natives are
greater than those of other citizens. To be sure,
every body can vote two or three times in some
places; it is true taxes are four and a half per
cent on the amount of our property; it's a fact that
it's difficult to get scrip paid; there's no disputing
the existence of the Maine Liquor Law; and we
do occasionally have a mob; but these are errors
not arising from the principles of our government,
but from circumstances, and they will

finally obviate and correct themselves. Upon the
whole, I believe that a man has quite as much
chance for a life of happiness if born under the
glorious stars and stripes as if he happened to be
born anywhere else, and perhaps a little more.
We elect our own rulers, and make our own laws,
and if they don't turn out well, it's very easy at
the next election to make others in their place.
Every body has a chance for distinction in this
country; nothing is wanting but natural ability to
attain it; and Mrs. Laving Pike's baby, now
lying with a cotton-flannel shirt on, in a champagne
basket, in Portland, O. T., has just as good
a chance of being president of the United States,
as the imperial infant of France, now sucking his
royal thumbs in his silver cradle at Paris, has of
being an emperor. I do not wish to flatter this
audience; I do not intend to be thought particularly
complimentary; but I do assure you, that
there is not a man present who, if he had votes
enough, might not be elected president of the
United States. And this important fact is the result
not so much of any particular merit or virtue
on your part, as of the nature of our glorious, liberal,
republican institutions.

“In this great and desirable country, any man
may become rich, provided he will make money;
and man may be well educated, if he will learn,
and has money to pay for his board and schooling;
and any man may become great, and of weight
in the community, if he will take care of his
health, and eat sufficiently of boiled salmon and
potatoes.

“Moreover, I assert it unblushingly, any man in
this country may marry any woman he pleases —
the only difficulty being for him to find any woman
that he does please.

“Fellow-citizens and brother soldiers: It is the
Fourth of July; it is Independence Day — a day
dear to every freeman, an anniversary which is
good to celebrate, as it will be celebrated till time
shall cease, and the Union shall perish with it.

“Every boy in these United States knows the
origin of this glorious day. Small sums of money,

varying from twelve-and-a-half cents to a dollar
and a half, according to the financial prosperity
of their parents, have been annually given
them to expend on this occasion, which indelibly
impress the fact upon their memories, and lead
them to look forward with pleasure to its return.
One of my earliest and most cherished recollections
is of my exploits on the first Fourth of July
that I can remember, when, with patriotic fervor,
I purchased a leaden cannon, which, exploding
prematurely, burned off my hair and eye-brows,
and put an end to the existence of a favorite cat
of my aunt's that peacefully reclined, watching
my operations. It is considered by many a duty
to become intoxicated on the Fourth of July. I
remember hearing a distinguished Senator express
his opinion, `that any man who did not get drunk
on the Fourth of July was a damned rascal.'
Without fully coinciding in this novel hypothesis,
I can truly say, that I consider it the duty of
every freeman to enjoy himself to the full limits
of his capacity on this glorious occasion, and if
there are, as I dare say there are, individuals to
whom getting drunk is the acme of human felicity,
why, if they do allow themselves to be carried
away on this day, there is surely more excuse for
them than there would be on any less joyous occasion.
An anecdote that went the round of the
papers a few years since is amusing and interesting,
as showing the independent feeling engendered
in the minds of all classes by the arrival of
the glorious Fourth.

“A parsimonious merchant who, I regret to say,
flourished in Boston, kept his counting-room open
on Independence Day, where he sat with his
clerk, a boy of ten or twelve years of age, busy
over his accounts, while the noise and uproar of
the celebration were resounding without. Looking
up from his employment, he perceived the unfortunate
youth, perched upon his high stool, engaged
in picking his nose, a practice that the merchant
had frequently reprobated, and taken him
to task for.

“`William,' he exclaimed, `why will you persist

in that dirty practice? I am astonished at
you.'

“`I don't care,' whimpered the unhappy boy.
`It's Independence day, and it's my own nose,
and I'll pick thunder out of it.'

“An excellent custom prevails in many cities
of the United States to celebrate the close of this
day with a grand exhibition of fire-works. This
is not only a beautiful and exciting spectacle, but,
to the thinking mind, presents a refined pleasure
in the analogy that is suggested; for he may think
to himself that, as the day ends, so will end the
lives of the enemies of freedom and the incendiary
abolitionists, who threaten with parricidal efforts
the union of these States. They will be followed
by a grand display of fire-works in another world,
if there is any truth in the orthodox doctrines of
the age. I have never known a Fourth of July
oration delivered, and I have listened to many,
without a full and complete biography of the immortal
Washington being given before its conclusion.
It may appear a slightly hackeneyed custom,

but I shall certainly not let you go off without it.
At the risk of appearing tedious, I shall therefore
request your patience for a few moments,
while I read from the `Clatrap Cyclopedia,' by
Professor Tube Rose, the following beautiful tribute
to the memory of this greatest of men:

[FROM TUBE ROSE'S AMERICAN BIOGRAPHY.]

“`GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON.

“George Washington was one of the most
distinguished movers in the American Revolution.

“He was born of poor but honest parents, at
Genoa, in the year 1492. His mother was called
the mother of Washington. He married, early
in life, a widow lady, Mrs. Martha Custis, whom
Prescott describes as the cussidest pretty woman
south of Mason and Dixon's line. Young Washington
commenced business as a county-surveyor,
and was present in that character at a sham fight,
under General Braddock, when so many guns
were fired that the whole body of militia were
stunned by the explosion, and sate down to supper

unable to hear a word that was said. This supper
was afterward alluded to as Braddock's deaf
eat, and the simile, `deaf as a Braddock,' subsequently
vulgarized into `deaf as a haddock,' had
its rise from that circumstance. Washington
commanded several troops during the Revolutionary
war, and distinguished himself by fearlessly
crossing the Delaware river on ice of very inadequate
thickness, to visit a family of Hessians of
his acquaintance. He was passionately fond of
green peas and string beans; and his favorite
motto was: `In time of peace prepare for war.'

“Washington's most intimate friend was a
French gentleman, named Marcus Dee, who, from
his constant habits of risibility, was nick-named
`Laughy yet.' His greatest victory was achieved
at Germantown, where, coming upon the British
in the night, he completely surrounded them with
a wall of cotton bales, from which he opened a
destructive and terrific fire, which soon caused
the enemy to capitulate. The cotton bales being
perforated with musket-balls were much increased

in weight, and consequently in value, and the expression,
playfully used, `What is the price of
cotton?' was much in vogue after the battle.

“During the action, Washington might have
been seen driving up and down the lines, exposed
to a deadly fire, in a small Concord wagon, drawn
by a bob-tailed gray horse. His celebrated dispatch,
`Veni, vidi, vici,' or, I came and saw in a
Concord wagon, has reference to this circumstance.

“Washington has been called the `Father of
his country;' (an unapt title, more properly belonging
to the late Mr. McCluskey, parent of the
celebrated pugilist;) the child has grown, however,
to that extent that its own father would not
know it. General Walker (William Walker) is
also called the `Father of Nicaragua,' and we
have no doubt, in case of his demise, his children,
the native Nicaraguans, would erect a suitable
monument over his remains, with the inscription,
`Go, father, and fare worse.'

“Washington was a member of the Know-Nothing

order, and directed that none but Americans
should be put on guard, which greatly annoyed
the Americans, their comfort being entirely
destroyed by perpetual turns of guard-duty.

“He was twice elected President of the United
States by the combined Whig and Know-Nothing
parties, the Democrats and Abolitionists voting
against him; and served out his time with great
credit to himself and the country — drawing his
salary with a regularity and precision worthy all
commendation.

“Although, for the time in which he lived, a
very distinguished man, the ignorance of Washington
is something perfectly incredible. He never
travelled on a steam-boat; never saw a rail-road,
or a locomotive engine; was perfectly ignorant
of the principle of the magic of the magnetic
telegraph; never had a daguerreotype, Colt's
pistol, Sharp's rifle, or used a friction match. He
eat his meals with an iron fork, never used postage-stamps
on his letters, and knew nothing of the application
of chloroform to alleviate suffering, or the

use of gas for illumination. Such a man as this
could hardly be elected president of the United
States in these times, although, it must be confessed,
we occasionally have a candidate who
proves not much better informed about matters in
general.

“Washington died from exposure on the summit
of Mount Vernon, in the year 1786, leaving
behind him a name that will endure forever, if
posterity persist in calling their children after him
to the same extent that has been fashionable. He
is mentioned in history as having been `first in
peace, first in war, and first in the hearts of his
countrymen;' in other words, he was No. 1 in
every thing, and it was equally his interest and
his pleasure to look out for that number, and he
took precious good care to do so. A portrait, by
Gilbert Stuart, of this great soldier and statesman
may be seen, very badly engraved, on the `History
of the United States;' but as it was taken
when the general was in the act of chewing tobacco,
the left cheek is distended out of proportion,

(See Frontispiece.)

and the likeness rendered very unsatisfactory.
Upon the whole, General George Washington
was a very excellent man; though unfamiliar with
`Scott's Infantry Tactics,' he was a tolerable officer;
though he married a widow, he was a fond
husband; and though he did not know the Beecher
family, (and would have despised them if he
had,) he was a sincere Christian.

“E PLURIBUS UNUM.

“A monument has been commenced in the city
of Washington to his memory, which is to be five
hundred feet in height; and it should be the wish
of every true-hearted American that his virtues
and services may not be forgotten before it is completed;
in which case, their remembrance will
probably endure forever.

“Accustomed as I am to public speaking, it
has been with no ordinary distrust of my own powers
that I have ventured to address you to-day.
Standing beneath the waving banner of our country,
with Mount Hood towering in snow-crowned

magnificence above our heads, and the broad bosom
of the noble Columbia spread in calm expanse
at our feet, I see before me an attentive audience
composed of individuals whose interest I am proud
to awaken and command. I see before me some
who have borne no undistinguished part in the
bloody but most righteous war now raging in our
vicinity; I see men who have pushed the war into
the enemy's country with the gallant Haller,
and returned with him when he thought, perhaps,
it would be about as well to leave; who accompanied
the daring and skilful Raines, when intrepidly
rushing with drawn sword at the head of his
troops into Father Pandosy's hut, he wrote that
letter to the humbled Kamiakin; men who have
planned and built block-houses, which serve alike
as refuges from the attacks of the savage and merciless
foe, and imperishable monuments of architectural
taste and refinement. These services,
which have brought this war so nearly to a close,
(for already the Sun of peace may be seen gilding
the clouds in the east preparatory to rising,) are
well worthy of commendation; and no better occasion
can be found to recapitulate and commemorate
them than the present.

“Where are the gallant volunteers on this occasion,
our tried and trusty comrades in the hour
of danger — men who, at the call of their country,
cast aside the frivolous axe, the enervating
hoe, and the trifling pick, and, springing into their
eighty-dollar saddles, shouldered their fifty-dollar
rifles, and spurred their three-hundred dollar
horses into the wild plains of the Walla Walla,
and there desperately and recklessly encamped?
To what destruction were many of these daring
spirits exposed, forced by the attacks of famine
and the scarcity of fresh beef to live for weeks
together on hard bread and pickled pork? They
might yet have kept together had the whiskey
still held out; but alas! like the early cloud and
the morning dew, it passed away, and even the
jar that contained the ears of P. P. Mox Mox
was exhausted! Then they returned — slowly
and sadly they returned — and those who had

never been peppered in service were mustered out.
Like the prophets of old, they went forth with
their staff and their scrip; but the staff soon resigned
their commissions, and the scrip has not yet
been paid. But, by the blessing of Heaven and
Samt Pike, that consummation, so devoutly to be
wished, will yet be arrived at. The scrip will be
paid, and we shall see Pike flourishing like a
green bay horse.

“The toils and dangers of the war will be forgotten;
in the elegant luxury and refinement of
their homes, hardships will be looked back upon
with pleasure; the physical suffering and results
of exposure will yield to skilful treatment, and
those who have suffered from sleeping on hard
beds in the wilderness, can now console themselves
by lying on wool.

“In future times, when by some impartial historian
the present Oregon war is faithfully depicted,
posterity, as it peruses the volume, will drop a
tear o'er the picture of the sufferings of those noble
volunteers that wallowed in the Walla Walla

valley, and their intrepid march into that country,
and their return, will excite a thrill of admiration
as an adventure never equaled even by Napoleon
H. Bonaparte, when he effected the passage of the
Alps.

But the war will soon be ended; it is even
now drawing to a close. The completion of the
Pacific railroad, which may be looked upon as
certain in the course of the next fifty years, increasing
our facilities for transportation of arms
and supplies, will undoubtedly have a most favorable
effect; and I look upon it as a matter of little
doubt that, three or four hundred years from
this time, hostilities will have ceased entirely, and
the Indians will have been liberally treated with,
and become quiet and valuable members of our
society.

The influence of that glorious banner will
have been felt by them; they will have been made
to see stars; they will have been compelled to feel
stripes; and all will be peace and harmony, love
and joy among them. Four hundred years from

this time, the descendants of Kamiakin will be
celebrating with our posterity the recurrences of
this glorious day, with feelings of interest and delight.
While to-day that great chief, moved by
feelings of animosity toward us, sits and gnaws
the gambrel-joint of a defunct Cayuga pony, little
knowing on which side of his staff of life the oleaginous
product of lactation is disseminated. But
long after that time shall arrive, centuries and centuries
after our difficulties shall have been settled,
and the scrip, with accumulated interest, paid,
may our glorious institutions continue to flourish,
may the Union be perpetuated forever in perfect
bonds of strength and faternal affection, and the