18. XVIII.
HOW THE NAPOLEON OF SELLERS WAS
SOLD.
We have read a great many stories of
which Winchell, the great wit and mimic,
was the hero, showing alway show neatly
and entirely he sold somebody. Any one
who is familiar with Winchell's wonderful
powers of mimicry cannot doubt that these
stories are all substantially true. But there
is one instance which we will relate, or
perish in the attempt, where the jolly Winchell
was himself sold. The other evening,
while he was conversing with several
gentlemen at one of the hotels, a dilapidated
individual reeled into the room and halted
in front of the stove, where he made wild
and unsuccessful efforts to maintain a firm
position. He evidently had spent the evening
in marching torchlight processions of
forty-rod whiskey down his throat, and at this
particular time was decidedly and disreputably
drunk. With a sly wink to the crowd,
as much as to say, “we'll have some fun
with this individual,” Winchell assumed a
solemn face, and in a ghostly voice said to
one of the company:
“The poor fellow we were speaking of is
dead!”
“No?” said the individual addressed.
“Yes,” said Winchell; “you know both
of his eyes were gouged out, his nose was
chawed off, and both of his arms were torn
out at the roots. Of course he couldn't recover.”
This was all said for the benefit of the
drunken man, who was standing, or trying
to stand, within a few feet of Winchell, but
he took no sort of notice of it and was apparently
ignorant of the celebrated delineator's
presence. Again Winchell endeavored
to attract his affention, but utterly
failed as before. In a few moments the
drunken man staggered out of the room.
“I can generally have a little fun with a
drunken man,” said Winchell, “but it is no
go in this case.”
“I suppose you know what ails the man
who just went out?” said the “gentlemanly
host.”
“I perceive he is alarmingly inebriated,”
said Winchell; “does anything else ail
him?”
“Yes,” said the host, “HE'S DEAF AND
DUMB!”
This was true. There was a “larf,” and
Winchell, with the remark that he was
sorry to see a disposition in that assemblage
“to deceive an orphan,” called for a light
and went gravely to bed.
