University of Virginia Library

2. CHAPTER II.
An adventure of a goose and a gander, with what happened thereupon
to Robin Day.

Such a creature was I, as wretched and as hopeless,
when the business of my master carried him,
one summer's day, to a certain great town in New
Jersey, situated upon a river, where we cast anchor
in the morning; and I, without troubling myself
with any thoughts of shore, which it was seldom
my lot to visit, fell to work at my vocation in preparing
my master's dinner; in the course of which,
I had occasion to murder a venerable old gander
that had been squalling in the coop, in expectation
of his fate, for the last two days. This execution
being over, and not without five or six hearty cuffs,
which my patron gave me for performing it bunglingly,
I sneaked away to the bows, where, perched
upon the bowsprit, I began, in the process of plucking
the animal, to distribute a shower of feathers
over the tide.

This operation, as it chanced, attracted the attention
of a knot of schoolboys who were playing,
some of them on a wharf hard by, while three or
four others were busking about in a batteau, to
which they had helped themselves; and, whether
it was that there was something more than usual of
the ludicrous given to my employment by my uncouth

appearance, or that the urchins were ripe for
mischief, they forthwith began to salute me with a
battery, first, of jokes and sarcasms; to which they
afterwards added an occasional volley of pebbles and
oyster-shells. This was a proceeding that caused
me no surprise, for I had been too much accustomed
to unkindness all my days to expect any thing else;
and, I may also add, that such was the indifference
to bodily pain into which I had been beaten, and so
stupefied within me were all the ordinary instincts
of self preservation, that although I was once or
twice hit by the missiles cast at me, and in danger
of faring still worse, I neither removed from my
perch, nor intermitted a moment in my task.

My insensibility, or want of courage, as it doubtless
appeared, gave additional edge to the malice of
my persecutors; and those who were in the batteau,
having taken in a sufficient supply of small shot—
that is to say, of the pebbles and shells as aforesaid
—ventured to push into the stream, for the purpose
of attacking me nearer at hand, which they did
with infinite zeal and intrepidity; and one little fellow
of ten years old, that seemed the greatest imp
of all, the most voluble in railing and the most energetic
in attack, succeeded in planting upon the top
of my forehead the ragged edge of an oyster-shell,
by which I was cut to the bone, and my face in a
moment covered with blood. This, indeed, stung
me to resentment, for the anguish of the wound was
very great; but so sluggish were the movements of
all my passions that I had scarce proceeded to a
greater length in the expression of my rage than by
turning a haggard look of reproach upon the assailant,
when an accident happened which changed the
current of my feelings. The little reprobate who
had immortalized himself by so capital a shot, had

given such energy and strength to the cast, that he
lost his balance, pitched forward, and at the very
moment I looked down upon him, plumped, with a
dismal shriek, into the river, which was deep, and the
current strong. It was evident, the little dog could
not swim; and such was the terror which the catastrophe
caused among his companions, that they lost
the only oar they had in the boat, and were incapable
of rendering him any assistance.

In the meanwhile, the hero of the scene, whose
disaster I regarded with sentiments of complacency
and approbation, as being nothing more than he
deserved for the unprovoked injury he had done
me, sunk to the bottom, whence in a moment he
came whirling and gasping to the surface, and was
swept by the tide against the sloop's cable, which
he attempted to seize, but without success; for
though he had hold of it for an instant, he was not
able to maintain his grasp. In this state of the adventure,
the little fellow was immediately under me
where I sat on the bowsprit; and as the tide swept
him from the cable, he looked up to me with a
countenance of such terror, and agony, and despair,
mingled with imploring entreaty—though being on
the point of strangling, he was neither able to speak
nor to cry out—that I was suddenly struck with
feelings of compassion. They were the first human
emotions, I believe, that had entered my bosom for
years. And such was the strength of them that,
before I knew what I was doing, I dropped into the
river—gander and all—to save the poor little rascal
from drowning.

Such a feat did not appear to me either very difficult
or dangerous, for I could swim like a duck, and
had had extraordinary experience in the art of saving
life in the water; not, indeed, that I had ever

performed such service for any body but myself;
but, in my own case, I had almost daily occasion;
for nothing was more common than for Skipper
Duck to take me by the nape of the neck and toss
me overboard, even when on the open sea; though
the mate always threw me a rope to help me on
board again, except when we were becalmed, or at
anchor; in which cases, he left me to take care of
myself. In the present instance, however, as it
proved, the exploit was not destined to be performed
without difficulty; for dropping down with more
hurry than forecast, right before the stem, and with
a force that carried me pretty deep into the water, I
was swept under the shallop's bottom, which, in the
effort to rise to the surface, I managed to strike with
my head, with a violence that would undoubtedly
have finished me, had not that noble excrescence
been in those days of unusual thickness. The shock
was, however, sufficient to stun and confound the
small quantity of wits I possessed, and to such a degree
that I lost my hold of the gander, which, up to
this moment, I had clutched with instinctive care;
besides which, I was swept, before I had time to
recover myself, along the whole of the sloop's bottom;
and this being pretty well studded with barnacles,
young oysters, and the heads of old nails, I had
the satisfaction of enjoying as complete and thorough
a keelhauling as was ever administered to any vagabond
whatever, my jacket, shirt, and back being
scratched all to pieces. Of this, however, as well as
of the loss of the gander, I was for a time quite unconscious,
being confused by the shock my head had
suffered; and the moment I succeeded in passing the
rudder, and reaching the surface, I had all my
thoughts engaged in rescuing the boy, who had now
sunk two or three times, and was, I doubted not,
sinking for the last time; for he was quite insensible,
when it was my good fortune to reach and seize him
by the collar.

The batteau had, by this time, been borne by the
tide against a projecting wharf, whither I easily
swam with my charge; and then giving him up to his
companions, who had now, by dint of yelling, brought
several men to their assistance, I took to my heels,
hoping to regain the sloop before Captain Duck, who
had gone ashore, should return and discover my absence.
My only way of getting on board was that in
which I had departed, namely, by swimming; and to
this I betook me, by running a little up the stream,
and then leaping again into the river.

My haste, however, was vain; the worthy skipper
reaching the vessel an instant before myself; and
when, having clambered up by the hawser and bobstay,
I succeeded in jumping on deck, I—who was in
such a pickle, what with my clothes torn to shreds,
and dripping with water, and the blood trickling
down my face, as the reader cannot conceive—found
myself confronted with my tyrant face to face. He
gave me a horrible stare of surprise, took one step
forward so as to bring me within reach of his arm,
and exclaimed,—

“You draggle-tailed tadpole! where have you
been?”—which question he accompanied with a
cuff on the right cheek that tossed me full a fathom to
the larboard.

“Please, sir,” said I, in as much terror as my
stupidity was capable of.—“overboard, sir.”

“Overboard, you son of a tinker's cowbell!” cried
my master giving me a cuff with the other hand,
that sent me just as far starboard; “what have you
been doing overboard?”

“Please, sir, saving boy's life, sir,” returned unhappy

I, beginning to be conscious of the enormity
of my offence.

“Saving a boy's life, blast my fishhooks!” ejaculated
Skipper Duck, knocking me again to larboard:
and here I may as well observe that this was his
usual way of conversing with me, or rather of pointing
his conversation; his stops being usually but
three, a cuff to the right and a cuff to the left, which
he alternated with extreme regularity, at every other
speech; and a full period, used at the close, by which
I was laid as flat as a flagstone. “Saving a boy's
life!” cried the Skipper, boxing me as aforesaid: I
wish all the boys were in Old Nick's side-pocket,
roasting!—Where's the gander?”

The gander? ay, where was the gander? The
question froze my blood: I remembered the loss;
by this time the gander was a mile down stream, if
not already lodged, in divided morsels, in the capacious
jaws of a hundred catfish.

The skipper noticed my confusion, and his face of
a sudden became small, being puckered by an universal
frown, that began at forehead and chin and
the two ears, and tended to the centre, carrying
these several parts before it, till all were blended in
a knot of wrinkles scarce bigger than his nose. He
stretched forth his hand and took me by the hair, of
which I had a mop half as big as my whole body;
and giving his arm a slow motion to and from him,
like the crank-rod, or whatever they call it, of a
locomotive, just as it is getting under way, and
making my head, of course, follow in the same line
of traverse, thundered in my ears,—

“The gander! you twin-born of a horse-mackerel!
where's the gander?”

“Please, sir,” I spluttered out, in a confusion of
intellects that was with me extremely customary

—“boy was overboard—jumped overboard to save
him—”

“D—n the boy!” quoth my honest master;
“where's the gander?”

“Please, sir, jumped overboard,” I repeated; “got
under the keel; knocked head—senses out, and—
and—”

“And the gander? blast my fish-hooks! the gander?”

“Please, sir; couldn't help—'most drowned—lost
it!”

The skipper's eyes rolled in their sockets, and
he turned them to heaven, as if to invoke thunderbolts
of vengeance on my guilty head. Then taking
a quid of tobacco, to compose his nerves, he made
me a speech, importing, first, that he had bought me
of old Mother Moll at the price of a ten-gallon keg
of rum; secondly, that I was not worth the tenth
part of a sous-marquee, or ten scales of a red herring;
thirdly, that I was the ugliest wall-eyed, shock-headed
son of a ship's monkey he had ever laid eyes on;
fourthly, that he had always said I would come to
the gallows, without even the grace of arriving at
the yard-arm; fifthly, that he had borne as many of
my dog's tricks as mortal man could; sixthly, that
the loss of the gander was the most atrocious piece
of cold-blooded knavery he had ever heard of, for
which hanging was too good for me; and seventhly
and lastly, that as it was his duty to take a father's care
of me, he would forthwith proceed to give me the
handsomest trouncing I had ever had in my whole
life, blast his fish-hooks. And this oration, which
was interlarded with more profane execrations than
I desire to repeat, being ended, he kicked and dragged
me along into the cabin; where, seizing up a
rope's end, he fell to work upon my half naked body

with a vigour that, I think, would have ended in his
killing me outright; had not fate sent me assistance
in the person of a friend—it was the first one I ever
had—whom the accident of the morning had gained
me, all unknown to myself.

The little boy whom I had saved from drowning,
was, as it happened, the son of a worthy and wealthy
gentleman, a physician, of that town, who chanced
to be nigh at hand, when I landed the little fellow
on the wharf; and being drawn thither, among others,
by the cries of the children, had the happiness to
find his child already restored to his senses, and suffering
no inconvenience from the catastrophe, except
a good ducking and a hearty fright. He took pains
to inform himself on the spot of the particulars of
the accident, which a little inquiry among the boys
soon put him in possession of, including all the circumstances
of the attack, as well as of my instrumentality
in saving the graceless urchin; and he was
pleased to express as much approbation as surprise,
at what he called my magnanimity—a word, by the
by, which, when he afterwards delivered it into my
own ears, filled me with consternation, as from its
bigness, I supposed it must mean something very
horrible. Nay, his feelings becoming more interested,
when he discovered from what a wretched
looking little imp (for, it seems, I had passed him,
while running up the wharves, and he had noticed
my squalid appearance,) the good act had proceeded,
he determined to visit the shallop on the instant, to
do me reparation for the injuries I had received, as
well as to reward me for my humanity—which word
also, when he pronounced it, struck me as a very
terrible one, though not so awful as “magnanimity.”
He accordingly procured a boat, and, in company
with several other persons, immediately came on

board, the visit being for me the most opportune in
the world, as the honest skipper was threshing me,
as he himself expressed it, “within an inch of my
life,” and was, indeed, so enwrapped in the business,
that he was entirely unconscious of the entrance of
the visitors into the vessel and the cabin, until my
new friend, shocked and enraged at his brutality,
brought it to an end by suddenly knocking him
down with his cane.

My miserable, wretched appearance—for besides
my starveling looks, the blood was still streaming
over my face—and the inhuman tyranny to which
he thus saw me exposed, operated to such a degree
on the benevolent feelings of this most excellent man,
that he determined to release me from my skipper's
clutches altogether; which he immediately effected,
by carrying me ashore to his own house, where he
dressed my wounds, and had me washed and clothed
in decent attire.

Nor did his good offices rest here; for having questioned
me, and discovered what a friendless creature
I really was, and how much I had suffered from the
cruelty of the skipper, his indignation was roused to
such a pitch, that he proceeded to lodge an information
before a magistrate, who immediately granted
a warrant for Duck's apprehension, and he was in a
few hours laid by the heels in the common jail; when,
being tried, he was mulcted in a heavy fine, and
punished also with a month's imprisonment. And
this punishment not seeming severe enough to certain
worthy citizens, whose choler had been exceedingly
inflamed by the developments of his cruelty
that took place at the trial, the skipper was no sooner
released from prison than they carried him aboard
his own vessel, where, after subjecting him to the
process of keel-hauling, administered in a much

more regular way than had happened in my case,
they shaved his head and tarred and feathered him
from top to toe; and then ordered him to get under
way, never to appear again in their waters, under
pain of being hung from his own cross-trees—an
injunction which, I believe, the scoundrel very faithfully
observed, for I never heard of his being again
seen in that neighborhood.

As for me, the events of that day had—although
I knew it not—operated an entire and thorough
change on all my future prospects. I had gained a
friend and protector, who was as able as he was willing
to repair the mischiefs I had suffered in body
and mind, and to guard me for the future from wrong
and outrage. And all this was, as I may say, the
result of my own action—of the indulgence of a
natural feeling or instinct, of the laudableness of
which I was entirely ignorant. I had done a good
act, and—like the young Pawnee Indian,[1] who saved
the life of a female captive, without knowing he had
done a good deed, until his Christian rewarders told
him so—I did not know it. And for this reason, I
certainly deserved neither credit nor recompense;
but I would that all good actions were as well rewarded.