University of Virginia Library

20. CHAPTER XX.
He finds himself in Mr. Bloodmoney's house, who makes great
preparations to entertain him.

As we walked towards the house, which was now
nigh at hand, Mr. Bloodmoney gave me to understand
there was sickness in his family, his wife being
ill with a nervous fever, or “some such cursed out-of-sortishness,”
as he called it; which he mentioned,
he said, not merely as a caution against making any
noise after we should have entered, but as an excuse
for the badness of the entertainment I might expect;
since, as his servants were, by this time, all fast
asleep in bed, and could not be roused—nor, indeed,
do any thing, if roused—without making such a
clatter as must drive his wife distracted, there was
nothing to be done but to wait upon ourselves. I
hastened to assure him I should be very careful in
obeying his injunctions; and begged that no trouble
might be taken on my account, since all I desired
was a bed to sleep in, and some means of drying my
clothes; the two robberies together having left me
no others to shift myself.

“It's an ill wind that blows nobody good,” quoth
Mr. Bloodmoney, laughing; and then added, with
another of the oaths, without which he seemed incapable
of conducting any conversation, “If the sack
is empty, so much the better; for I shall fill it with

such a freight as it never carried before—I will, split
me.”

With that, Mr. Bloodmoney ascended a suite of
marble steps leading to the door of a very magnificent
house—that is, magnificent, so far as size was
concerned; but otherwise, it looked like a barn, being
nothing but a great flat wall of red bricks, broken
only by the windows, door, and a petticoat of white
marble below, there being not one pennyworth of
architectural design, or ornament of any kind, to be
seen on any part of it; this being the approved fashion
of building fine houses in Philadelphia. Here,
bidding me “belay my jaw,” for I was adventuring
a remark upon the storm, which was now raging
with increased violence, and pouring a deluge of
rain, Mr. Bloodmoney, with a key, essayed the door;
which not opening as readily as he wished, he so
far forgot his own injunctions as to let fly a multitude
of execrations, first upon the door, then the key,
and finally upon himself, all which, and whom, he
abused with equal fervour; and he had succeeded in
consigning himself to what he called “the home of
all the hellcats,” before the door finally yielded to
his efforts, and let us in.

This happy success he signalized by d—g his
blood, and then closed and secured the door; which
being effected, he bade me follow him, and we
groped our way along a dark passage, and thence
into a dark room; where, however, was a smouldering
fire of coals twinkling in a grate; which Mr.
Bloodmoney, who was also pretty well drenched
with rain, seemed as happy as myself to see. He
bade me hold fast at the door until he had got a light;
which he obtained by first kindling a paper match
at the fire, and then a brace of wax candles that stood
in a branch over the mantel.

In this light, I perceived we were in a very spacious
saloon, opening, by means of folding leaves,
that were wide spread, into another of equal size,
and both of them furnished with a luxury, sumptuousness
and splendour, that struck me dumb with
admiration; for I had never dreamed that such gorgeousness
was found in any but a princely palace,
much less in the dwelling of a plain democratic
American citizen. The rich carpets, the huge mirrors
in massive carved frames extending from the
ceiling to the floor, the dark antique-looking pictures
in frames as rich and solid, the window draperies of
satin and fine lace, the chairs and ottomans, with
cushions covered with crimson velvet, the lamps
and chandeliers of dead gold, the branches, brackets,
mantel vases, and other ornaments, made up a spectacle
that both delighted and confounded me. It
was to me almost a scene of fairy-land; for my benefactor,
Dr. Howard, though very rich, never dreamed
of indulging in such luxurious display; either because
he did not care for it, or was afraid of incurring
the envy and hatred of his less affluent neighbours,
by too greatly eclipsing them in state. In fact,
it daunted me; and I felt both ashamed and afraid to
move, in my drenched and squalid condition, among
so many objects of splendour; until the lord of the
mansion, who seemed to survey the spectacle with
infinite satisfaction, as being fully conscious of all
its advantages, beckoned me forward to help him
replenish the fire from a coal-scuttle, that the servants
had left standing hard by, either for the convenience
of their master, who was, doubtless, accustomed
to be out late at nights, or to lessen their own
labours, in making the morning fires. The coal
being bituminous, was soon in a blaze, though—from
our anxiety to avoid noise and disturbance—we were

some time in putting it on; and we had, after a
while, a fine roaring fire, which our wet clothes,
and the coolness of the night, made uncommonly
agreeable.

My eccentric host noticed the looks of approbation
I still cast about me; whereupon he muttered,
with an encouraging grin, “Fine harbour to moor
in, eh? All made on blue water, with a cast or two
in soundings. The sea's the place, my lad—the
true Spanish mine that you might poke Potosi, Golgotha,
or whatever you call it,” (I suppose he meant
Golconda,) “and Gopher, and the Gold Coast, and
all the rest of your dry-land mines in, and never find
them again. D—n my blood, you Powel—what's
your name?”—“Robin Day, sir,” I put in.—“Very
well: half a dozen voyages or so, and you're made
for life;—just such a snuggery, (Sailor's Rest, eh?)
a bank of money—a nervous wife, and seven squalling
hell's-kitten children, blast 'em—and all the
rest of the good things, split me:—provided Davy
Jones don't claim you for supper, beforehand. And
talking of supper, if I could but light upon one of
the niggers, I could eat one—that is, a supper, and
not a nigger; though, upon a pinch, I should n't
make mouths at a young one, seeing that I once ate
a whole leg off one, in a small boat, for want of
something better, split me.”

With that, the gentleman, complaining there was
not light enough to see by, got upon a chair, and
lighted a chandelier depending from the ceiling;
which done, he swore he must have something to
drink, or die for it, and began to rummage about,
and at the first attempt, produced the remains of a
bottle of Rhenish wine, that stood on a side-board,
and seemed to have been very recently opened.
This he pronounced cursed wish-wash,—bilgewater

and vinegar, but nevertheless took a hearty draught of
it, handing me the remainder, and assuring me it
was “poor stuff, indeed, but milk for babes.” He
then, in the search for something better and stronger,
made an attempt upon the sideboard, with a key
taken from a huge bunch of all shapes and sizes;
and, while trying one after another, until he hit
upon the right one, he took occasion to inform me,
“there was no trusting servants, especially the nigger
ones; that there was nothing would keep them
out of mischief, except locking every thing up; and
finally, that he was always obliged to carry the keys
himself, when Mrs. Bloodmoney was sick; and
split him, he knew the use of them, though he
never could tell one from another.”

By this time he had opened the sideboard, whence
he drew forth, with a chuckle of satisfaction, some
half dozen or more decanters, containing various
liquors, spirituous and vinous, each having a case or
foot-box of silver, in the old style, to stand in.
These he deposited with great glee upon a table that
stood in the centre of the room, as if it had been
left, after clearing away supper. Another visit to
the sideboard resulted in his finding a brace of cakebaskets,
also of silver, in one of which was the remnant
of a huge black or plum cake, in the other a
farrago of smaller cates and confectionary. These
he pronounced, with great disdain, schoolboy trumpery;
and betook him to the sideboard again, but
without any further success in discovering eatables;
though he lighted upon sundry articles of plate, all
which he drew out and laid upon the table, swearing,
with as much energy as he could express in a whisper,
“that he would have a supper, if he had to raise
the house for it.” I took the liberty of telling him,
“I hoped he was not giving himself any of that

trouble on my account;” upon which he nodded
and laughed, swore I was “an odd dog,” and declared
he intended to make my fortune.

I thought, upon my conscience, that if there was
any odd dog in the case, he was the one; for a more
strangely behaved personage I had never seen before
in my whole life; and every act and expression
served but to increase my surprise.

Having despatched the sideboard, he made an attack
upon a brace of closets in the chimney-wall,
which, after a deal of trouble, he succeeded in opening,
but only to find them empty; whereupon he
fell into a rage, and swore he believed the servants
had robbed them; for Mrs. Bloodmoney, he knew,
used to kep the spoons and forks in one or other of
them. I ventured to say, “I thought we could do
very well without any such superfluities;” but he
cut me short by applying to my eyes one of those
energetic benedictions with which he was wont to
distinguish his own, bidding me “hold my tongue,
or use it, like a cat, to dry myself;” an expression
whose oddity seemed so agreeable to himself, that
he immediately got rid of a sour look he had put on,
and fell to laughing, though in a subdued manner,
as became the husband of the sick and nervous Mrs.
Bloodmoney. Indeed, I may observe, that, although
the din of the storm, which seemed rather to increase
than diminish, the howling of the winds, the
pattering of the rain, and the clamour of numberless
shutters slamming and banging in all quarters, might
have excused a little indulgence, since no ordinary
talking or laughing could have been heard out of
the room itself, and none, if heard, could have distressed
any nerves that were undisturbed by the
tempest; Mr. Bloodmoney was, nevertheless, extremely
careful in every thing he did or said, to

make as little noise as possible; which convinced
me that, notwithstanding his oddities and coarseness
of manners, Mr. Bloodmoney had an affection for
his wife; and this I felt, was one good quality, however
deficient he might be in others.