27
To practice the art of being a father, one must embrace a
tender and benevolent (jên) love with which to rear a son. One
quiets him with food and drink, so that his body may be perfect.
When he begins to have understanding, [the father] must maintain
a stern demeanor and speak correctly to lead him forward. When
it is time to tie up his hair,
[1]
[the father] provides him with an
intelligent teacher to perfect his abilities. At nineteen he shows
his ambitions, and [his father] invites a guest to cap him.
[2]
This
serves to complete his virtue.
[3]
His blood is pure and his pulse
steady, and so [his father] betroths him so as to keep it that way.
The relations [between father and son] are characterized by
honesty and friendliness, with no trace of suspicion. After the
son is capped, [his father] does not curse
[4]
him, nor does he beat
him after his hair is bound up. He listens to [his son's] subtle
reproach and does not let him worry. Such is the art of being a
father.
The Ode says,[5]
Oh my father, who begat me!
Oh my mother, who nourished me!
Ye indulged me, ye fed me,
Ye held me up, ye supported me.
Ye looked after me, ye never left me,
Out and in ye bore me in your arms.