University of Virginia Library

Scene II.

—Interior of Nemorino's Farm House.
(Enter Nemorino, R.)
Nem
Nice men, these soldiers, for a quiet town!
They've turned Adina's noddle upside down.
She hardly speaks to me since here they came,
And all the other girls are just the same.
The fellows ogle in a shameful way,
And stalk about the hamlet all the day
With glass in eye, which they imagine swell is—
Those eyes in glass make me extremely jellies.
To make the thing as pleasant as can be,
Sergeant Belcore's billeted on me!
He shares my room and wardrobe, and I sup with him;
I've only one room, so I must “put up” with him.
When he gets up he uses, every day,
My toothbrush in an aggravating way;
My shirts and boots he looks on as his own,
And snores all night like a worn-out trombone.
This is a hamlet, as I've said before,
But this is not the Castle of Els'nore.
Well, I'll be even with him e'er I go,
If irritating tricks can make me so.
(Enter Belcore L.)
I hope you're pretty comfortable.

Bel
Why,
You will forgive my mentioning that I
Don't care to feed on raw, unwholesome fruits—
Don't often wear black-beetles in my boots—
Against coal-scuttles hate to bark my shins—
Don't care for sofas thickly stuffed with pins.
“Apple-pie order” suits methodic heads,
But I don't like it to extend to beds;
Don't like for snoring to be nightly blown up,
Don't like to find my coat-sleeves always sewn up.
It isn't paid for, I'd have you be knowing!

Nem.
(aside)
I call it stitching, and he says it's owing!

Bel.
My bed's as hard as wood whene'er I fill it—
Well, you demanded, and you've got a—billet.

Bel.
My pillow's like a log against my crown!

Nem.
I'm so hard up, you can't expect soft down.

Bel
My breakfast done to rags—not fit for food.

Nem
What, over-boiled?

Bel
I see, I'm under-stewed.
With stinging herbs my bed seems nightly settled.

Nem
You seem annoyed?

Bel.
(rubbing himself)
Well, I'm a good deal nettled!
With these exceptions—drawbacks, as you see—
I am as comfortable as can be.

(Enter Adina R. Nemorino runs to meet her.)
Nem
Adina!

Adi
(pettishly)
Oh, I wish we'd never met;
As Scotchmen say, “A-dinna, please, forget.”
I love Belcore, and we mean to wed.

Nem
(aside)
To-night I sprinkle cayenne in his bed—
Red-Pepper's ghost shall haunt him—that be my end—
The fellow cannot take it as un-cayenned!

Adi
The sergeant's good as gold—as people say—

Nem
I am as good as argent—any day!
(to Adina)
Once you approved my love—now, you reject it!

Adi
You've got no money—so you can't expect it.
(aside to Belcore)
Despair o'erwhelms the hard-up bosom, I know,
Of Nemorino, at the name o'rhino.

Bel
(to Nemorino)
She'd ne'er have loved you, if she had, before,
Seen a Belcore head his able corps.

Nem
His sable corps—your meaning, sir, I track,
A corps composed of guards, whose tint is black!

Trio—(Adina, Belcore, Nemorino.)
Air—“Harum-Scarum Galop.”
Adi
Marry me, carry me, off we go, my hand Belcore take!

Bel
I fear, my dear, this party here, objection has to make!

Nem
Agony! bragany more I can't, for utterly I'm put out!

Bel
I see that he, decidedlee, is done, without a doubt.
Only say, you'll name the day,
Delaying it were folly, O!

Adi
Of this we'll speak on this day week,
And all will then be jolly, O!

Nem
I thought that she was fond of me,
But now she loves this Pollio!

Bel
It pleases me, a wee to see,
This party melancholly, O!

Bel
(to Nemorino)
Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man,
Get you gone as soon as you can.

Adi
(to Nemorino)
Understand, you're in the way,
So get you gone to Botany Bay.

All
Botany, Botany, Botany, Botany,
Botany, Botany, Botany, Botany,
Botany, Botany, Botany, Botany,
Get you gone to Betany Bay
Discarded Nemorino!

(Together)
Marry her/me carry her/me off you/me go—her/my hand, Belcore take, &c.

(Dance off R.)