University of Virginia Library

SCENE IV.

Enter CALIDORUS and CHARINUS, in discourse.
Cal.
I've told you all my pleasures, all my pains;
My love, my trouble and my needs you're now
Inform'd of.

Cha.
All of them I bear in mind.
Tell me but this, what 'tis you'd have me do?

Cal.
All those, and other things besides I mention'd,
That you might fully understand the affair
About the token—

Cha.
I tell you, I know all—
Let me but know, what you would have me do.

Cal.
Well, you must know then, Pseudolus thus order'd;
That I should bring him one who wish'd me well
And zealous in my cause—

Cha.
You well observe
Your orders: for a friend and a well-wisher,
You're bringing—But that Pseudolus to me's
A stranger—

Cal.
Quite a man as one could wish.
He's my inventor: and has promis'd me
He'll bring to pass all for me which I've told you.

Pseu.
Now in a lofty strain will I address him.

Cal.
Whose voice is that I hear there?

Pseu.
[advancing.]
Io! Io!
Io! thrice sovereign lord!—'Tis you I want,
Who're sovereign over Pseudolus—'Tis you
I'm looking for, to give you three times joy,
A triple joy, three joys three ways obtain'd,
By three tricks, three times earn'd, over three parties,
Thro' wickedness, craft, fallacy triumphant,
Seal'd in this little scroll, to you I've brought them.

Cal.
This is the man—

Cha.
The rascal's in heroicks!

Cal.
Advance thy steps and join him—

Pseu.
Give thy hand
Freely to him who has sav'd thee—

Cal.
Tell me, Pseudolus,
What god shall I salute thee as?—As hope,
Or as salvation?

Pseu.
Both, both—rather both—

Cal.
Well then, as both I do salute thee—
What's done?

Pseu.
What fear you?

Cal.
I have brought the person.

Pseu.
What, brought him, say you?

Cal.
I would say, conducted—

Pseu.
Who is it?

Cal.
Why, Charinus.

Pseu.
O, well done!
There's a good omen in the name.

Cha.
Whate'er
Is necessary to be done, command me.

Pseu.
My thanks—Good day, Charinus—But I would not,
You think us troublesome.

Cha.
You troublesome!
That word to me is all that's troublesome.

Pseu.
Then say no more—

Cal.
What have you in your hand?

Pseu.
I've intercepted but e'en now this letter:
With it, this token—

Cha.
Token?—Say what token?

Pseu.
Why, that the captain sent here by his servant,
With it five minæ—He was to carry off
Your mistress—But I eas'd him of it—

Cal.
How?

Pseu.
For these spectators is the play perform'd;
And if they know it who were present at it,
I'll tell it you another time.

Cal.
But what's
The present business?

Pseu.
To embrace your mistress,
And to embrace her free.

Cal.
Shall I?

Pseu.
Ay, you—

Cal.
Myself!

Pseu.
Yourself, I say—sure as I live,
So you procure me speedily a man—

Cal.
What sort of man?

Pseu.
One cunning, arch and crafty;
One, who when he's possess'd of the beginning
Of an affair, knows by his ingenuity
What part he has to act. He must be one
Besides, who has little visited these quarters—

Cha.
Um! Does it matter ought if he's a slave?

Pseu.
'Twere better so than free.

Cha.
I think, I can
Fit you with one, cunning and arch enough,
One from Charysto, just come from his father.
He has not yet been out of doors, arriv'd
But yesterday at Athens.

Pseu.
That's all right.
But 'twill besides be requisite to borrow
Five minæ, which I will repay this day.
His father owes me one.

Cha.
I'll lend them you.
Look out no farther.

Pseu.
You're the man I wanted—
But I shall want a soldier's coat, a sword,
And hat.

Cha.
With them I will equip you too.

Pseu.
Immortal gods! I'll now no longer call you
Charinus, but Abundance. But this slave,
That's from Charysto come, what! is he arch?

Cha.
E'en from his cradle.

Pseu.
Then 'tis fit he should
Have a long coat with sleeves—But has he in him
Any thing sharp?—

Cha.
Ay, marry! very sharp.

Pseu.
But can he on occasion, draw out sweets
From the same cask; from his own breast I mean?—
Has he of that?

Cha.
And make you that a question?
He has nectar, sweet wine, wine enrich'd with herbs,
Mead, sweets of all sorts—Nay, he once intended
To set up in his breast a shop to sell them.

Pseu.
O brave! O rare! Charinus the facetious!
At my own game you beat me—But what name
Am I to call this slave by?

Cha.
Simia.

Pseu.
Does he know how to extricate himself
When hamper'd?

Cha.
Not a whirlwind is so speedy.

Pseu.
Subtle?

Cha.
In great rogueries, very frequently.

Pseu.
When caught in the manner, how behaves he then?

Cha.
O, like an eel, he slips away from you.

Pseu.
And is he knowing?

Cha.
Yes, as any register.

Pseu.
By your account, he is the man we want.

Cha.
To tell you more—Let him but fix his eyes
Upon you, he will tell you what you'd have with him.
But what is't you're about?

Pseu.
I'll tell you then.
As soon as ever I've equipp'd my man,
I'd have him personate the captain's slave—
To the procurer let him bear this token;
With it five minæ; and bring off the girl.
Thus ends the whole of this my comedy.
But I'll instruct him how to act in all.

Cal.
What do we wait for now?

Pseu.
Go, bring the man
Accoutred quite compleat, to Æschinus
The banker's—But make hast

Cha.
We shall be there
Before you—

Pseu.
Get you gone then speedily.
[Exeunt Cal. and Cha.
Whate'er before was doubtful or uncertain,
Now clears, and I can see the light before me.
My legions, every one beneath his standard,
I will draw out, according as I please,
And with auspicious omen. Oh! I feel
That I shall crush my foes. Now to the Forum,
To load this Simia with my weighty precepts,
That nothing fail of all he has to do;
But the whole trick be carried handsomely.
The pandar's fort shall now be ta'en by storm.

[Exit.