 | The Eunuch |  |
SCENE I.
Enter THRASO, and GNATHO.Thraso.
And Thais then returns me many thanks?
Gnat.
Ten thousand.
Thra.
Say, is she delighted with it?
Gnat.
Not so much with the gift itself, as that
By you 'twas given: But therein she triumphs.
Enter PARMENO behind.
Par.
I'm come to look about me, and observe
A proper opportunity to bring
My presents. But behold the Captain!
Thra.
'Tis
Something, I know not how, peculiar to me,
That all I do's agreeable.
Gnat.
In truth
I have observ'd it.
Thra.
E'en the King always
Held himself much obliged, whate'er I did:
Not so to others.
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Men of wit, like you,
The glory, got by others' care and toil,
Often transfer unto themselves.
Thra.
You've hit it.
Gnat.
The king then held you—
Thra.
Certainly.
Gnat.
Most dear.
Thra.
Most near. He trusted his whole army to me,
His counsels.—
Gnat.
Wonderful!
Thra.
And then, whene'er
Satiety of company, or hate
Of business seiz'd him—when he would repose—
As if—you understand me.
Gnat.
Perfectly.
When he wou'd—in a manner—clear his stomach
Of all uneasiness.
Thra.
The very thing.
On such occasions he chose none but me.
Gnat.
Hui! there's a king indeed! a king of taste!
Thra.
One of a thousand.
Gnat.
Of a million sure!
—If he could live with you.
[aside.
Thra.
The courtiers all
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I car'd not; whence their spleen increas'd the more.
One in particular, who had the charge
Of th'Indian elephants; who grew at last
So very troublesome, “I prithee, Strato,
“Are you so savage, and so fierce, (says I)
“Because you're governor of the wild beasts?”
Gnat.
Oh, finely said! and shrewdly! Excellent!
Too hard upon him!—what said He to't?
Thra.
Nothing.
Gnat.
And how the devil should he?
Par.
Gracious heav'n!
The stupid coxcomb!—and that rascal too!
[aside.
Thra.
Ay! but the story of the Rhodian, Gnatho!
How smart I was upon him at a feast—
Did I ne'er tell you?
Gnat.
Never: but pray do!
—I've heard it o'er and o'er a thousand times.
[aside.
Thra.
We were by chance together at a feast—
This Rhodian, that I told you of, and I.—
I, as it happen'd, had a wench: The spark
Began to toy with her, and laugh at me.
“Why how now, Impudence! (said I) are You
“A hare yourself, and yet would hunt for game?”
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Ha! ha! ha!
Thra.
What's the matter?
Gnat.
Ha! ha! ha!
Witty! smart! excellent! incomparable!
Is it your own? I swear I thought 'twas old.
Thra.
Why did you ever hear it?
Gnat.
Very often;
And reckon'd admirable.
Thra.
'Tis my own.
Gnat.
And yet 'twas pity to be so severe
On a young fellow, and a gentleman.
Par.
Ah! devil take you!
[aside.
Gnat.
What became of him?
Thra.
It did for him. The company were all.
Ready to die with laughing:—in a word
They dreaded me.
Gnat.
No wonder.
Thra.
Harkye, Gnatho!
Thais, you know, suspects I love this Girl.
Shall I acquit myself?
Gnat.
On no account.
Rather increase her jealousy.
Thra.
And why?
Gnat.
Why?—do you ask?—as if you didn't know!—
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She praises him, to vex you—
Thra.
I perceive.
Gnat.
To hinder that, you've only this resource.
When she names Phædria, name you Pamphila.
If she should say, come! let's have Phædria
To dinner with us!—ay, and Pamphila
To sing to us!—if she praise Phædria's person,
Praise you the Girl's! so give her tit for tat,
And gall Her in her turn.
Thra.
Suppose she lov'd me,
This might avail me, Gnatho!
Gnat.
While she loves
The presents which you give, expecting more,
So long she loves you; and so long you may
Have pow'r to vex her. She will always fear
To make you angry, lest some other reap
The harvest, which she now enjoys alone.
Thra.
You're right: and yet I never thought of it.
Gnat.
Ridiculous! because you did not turn
Your thoughts that way; or with how much more ease
Wou'd you have hit on this device yourself!
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