University of Virginia Library

Act. 3.

Scen. 1.

Enter Lesbia, the Midwife and Mysis Glyceriums maide at one doore, Simo and Dauus at another.
Mys.
I, indeede Lesbia you haue said aright:
A woman hardly findes a faithfull louer.

Sim.
Belongs this maide to th'Andrian here?

Dau.
Yes sir.

Mys.
But this kinde Pamphilus—

Sim.
What ist she saies?

Mys.
Hath giuen her full assurance—

Sim.
Out alas!

Dau.
Would either he were deafe now or she dumbe.

Mys.
That sonne or daughter, he will foster it.

Sim.
Oh Iupiter! what newes is this I heare?
All is lost vtterly: if she speake truth.

Lesb.
You doe describe a yong man honest natur'd.

Mys.
Oh, the best natur'd gentleman—but pray,
Follow me in, for feare she stay for you.

Les.
Yes I follow.

Dau.
What helpe for this now, trow?

Exit Lesbya and Mysis.
Sim.
What, is he mad? a loose land loping strumpet?
Oh! I haue it: old dulhead (as I was)
I scarce at length could hit on't.

Dau.
What has he hit on, saies he?

Sim.
This first knauish practise
Of my man here is now thus put vpon me:
She is to be in childbirth, to fright Chremes.

Glycerium
within doores.
Iuno, Lucina helpe; saue mee, I pray thee.

Sim.
Hoida! such speede? ha, ha, ridiculous:
As soone as ere she heard me at the doore,
The throwes come on: scarce fitly a' my word,
You ranke and place your times scarce fitly Dauus.

Dau.
I sir?

Sim.
Or haue your Actors mist their Cues?

Dau.
I know not what you meane, sir.

Sim.
If this fellow
Had set vpon me, being vnprouided
In a true mariage: oh, what pageants
Would he haue plaid me? Let him now make sure
His owne aduenture; I'm ith' port secure.

Scen. 2.

Enter Lesbia speaking to the Nurse within doores.
Lesb.
As yet Archillis I doe note in her
All vsuall matters, and good signes of health
First see her cleansd, and then deliuer her
That drinke, in measure as I gaue in charge:
Ile be here straight againe: as God shall helpe me,
She hath brought Pamphilus a goodly boy.
If it please God, may it liue to be a man:
Seeing the father is of disposition
So honest; and makes conscience to wrong
This good young woman.
Exit Lesbia.

Sim.
Who did euer know thee
That would not sweare, this thy contriuing now?

Dau.
Pray, what?

Sim.
She cannot in the house giue order,
For what is needfull to the childebed woman:
But comming forth a doores, proclaimes ith' street
Her minde to them within: what? what sir Dauus
Slight you me so? or deem'st me now at length
Such a fine easie propertie, thou maist
So plainly passe thy iugling tricks vpon me?
At least yet, it was circumspectly carried;
And shewd your awe, if 'twere discouer'd.

Dau.
Troth his owne cunning cheats him now; not I.

Sim.
Did I not forewarne thee? threaten further
If thou should'st dare attempt this? hast thou yet
Stood in feare of't? hath it in ought preuail'd?
Think'st thou I doe beleeue this woman here
Hath had a childe now by my Pamphilus?

Dau.
I now finde his mistaking, know my course.

Sim.
Why speak'st thou not?

Dau.
What talke you of your thinking?
As if y'had had no notice of the matter?

Sim.
I notice?

Dau.
Why good sir, tell me I pray
Found you of your selfe that this was counterfaited?

Sim.
I'm flouted.

Dau.
Come, come, it has bin told you:
How else a Gods name could you dreame of it?

Sim.
How? cause I well did know thy qualities.

Dau.
You thinke it then a thing of my direction.

Sim.
I, and I know tis.

Dau.
Truely sir I see
You throughly doe not know me.

Sim.
Not I, thee?

Dau.
But when I seeke to tell you any thing,
You streight suppose, I put some tricke vpon you.

Sim.
Tis false.

Dau.
So that I dare scarce speake to you.

Sim.
This one thing I am sure on; heer's no childe born.

Dau.
Are you so sure? yet sir notwithstanding
They streight will lay a childe before your doore.
I tell you on't aforehand, for your knowledge:
Least you should say hereafter, Dauus plots
And cunning manag'd all. I very faine
Would worke my selfe out of your iealousie.

Sim.
How knowst it?

Dau.
I haue heard so and beleeue it.

Sim.
They are many & those grounded circumstances,
Which my coniectures build on. Nere before
Named she her selfe with childe by Pamphilus;
And that is false, vnlesse my iudgement erre:
But seeing now a wedding is preparing,
A midwife streight is sent for, by the maid,
Who was to bring a young borne childe with her.

Dau.
Vnlesse you see a childe, the wedding still
Stands fairely.

Sim.
I but, sirra tell me this,
When thou hadst found they plotted this among them,
Why told you not it streight to Pamphilus?

Dau.
Pray, but my selfe then who hath drawn him from her?
We know how fondly he did dote vpon her:
Now he desires a wife to liue withall.
In fine, trust me with this whole businesse:
Yet pursue you, to make the marriage vp;
And I doe hope the Gods will further it.

Sim.
Nay, get you in; there see you stay my comming:
And haue such things as need in readinesse.
Exit Dauus
He hath not drawne me yet to giue full credit
To this he saies; nor to conclude all true.
But I regard it little: the maine thing
I rest on, is the promise of my Sonne.
Ile now goe speake with Chremes, and desire
He would bestow his daughter: that obtaind,
Why should I linger? and not now this day
Finish the match a foot? doubtlesse my Sonne
Will stand t'his word: if not, what hinders me
Enter Chremes.
But I may force him? and in good time see
Where Chremes is. Chremes good time of day.

Scen. 3.

Chr.
Oh! you are the man I sought for.

Sim.
And I you.

Chr.
Y'are come as I would wish: a many men
Haue press'd vnto me; who report as heard
From you, that on this very day your Sonne
Should wed my daughter. Now I come to see
Whether or you or they be from their wits?

Sim.
Pray list a while, and I will satisfie
This doubt: and withall acquaint you further
What suit I haue vnto you.

Chr.
I attend.
Say what you please.

Sim.
Chremes I request you
For loue of God; and for the vnfeigned friendship
Which in our youth begunne along together
Hath growne vp with our yeares; by the respect
You beare your onely child; for my Sonnes cause
Chiefe power of whose preseruing lies in you,
Lend me your furtherance in this businesse,
That the match this day meant may so go on.

Chr.
Oh! I pray craue it not, as if't were fit
I should in this thing listen to your suit?
Thinke you me alterd from the man I was,
When late I made you promise? if't may be
For both our welfares, take my daughter to you
But if hereby more harme then good will follow
To either of vs by it, then I pray
Cast for the common good: as if my daughter
Were yours, I father to your Pamphilus.

Sim.
Nay, that's my meaning Chremes: and I doe
Craue nothing of you but vpon such tearmes:
Nor would I aske it of you, if the case
It selfe did not require it.

Chr.
Why, how is't?

Sim.
There's iarre betweene Glycerium and my sonne.

Chr.
I heare.

Sim.
So great, I hope 'twill sunder them.

Chr.
A tale.

Sim.
In very deede tis so.

Chr.
Indeede
It will iust so (as I shall tell thee) proue;
The iarres of louers giue fresh life to loue.

Sim.
I, but I pray you let vs preuent that,
Whilst his loues flame is smotherd by abuse:
Before this harlots leaud designes, false teares
Reduce his sickly minde to passion,
Lets marrie 'hem. Chremes I haue good hope,
Faire wedlocke and a wiues experienc'd loue
Will eas'ly plucke him out of these feard ils.

Chr.
You thinke so: but I deeme't impossible
That either they will alwaies liue together,
Or I may indure their iarring.

Sim.
How doe you know,
Vnlesse you make a triall?

Chr.
But 'twere hard
For me to make such triall in my childe.

Sim.
Why, all the inconuenience which can happen
Should the worst fall (which I pray God forbid)
Were at the most a separation.
In counterpoise now weigh the benefits
That will insue, if my sonne proue reclaim'd:
First you restore t'your friend his sonne: your selfe
Gaine a fast sonne in law: your childe a husband.

Chr.
Why, if you thinke it so commodious,
For my part I will be no hindrance too't.

Sim.
I iustly alwaies held you my best friend.

Chr.
But as to that you said.

Sim.
What?

Chr.
Marrie how know you
There's now debate betweene 'hem.

Sim.
Dauus selfe
(who is their Counsels inward secretarie)
So told me; and withall aduisd me further
To haste the marriage with all speed I could.
Thinke you he would doe thus, but that he knowes.
My sonne desires it likewise? you your selfe
Shall heare him. Ho there, one call Dauus forth.
Enter Dauus.
But loe, I see him comming out a doores.

Scen. 4.

Dau.
I was a comming to you.

Sim.
What's the matter?

Dau.
Why is the bride not sent for? it growes late.

Sim.
Doe you now heare him? I will tell thee Dauus,
I lately had thee in some iealousie;
That thou didst take the course most seruants hold,
By seeking to delude me in the matter.
Of Pamphilus wanton louing.

Dau.
Who, I sir?

Sim.
I thought so: and for that I kept from you
A secret, Ile now vtter.

Dau.
What was that?

Sim.
Ile tell thee; for I almost now doe trust thee.

Dau.
At length you finde what seruant you haue of me.

Sim.
This was not to haue bin a marriage

Dau.
What, no.

Sim.
But I therefore counterfaited,
That I might feele your mindes.

Dau.
What ist you say?

Sim.
Iust as thou hear'st.

Dau.
La yee; I could neuer,
Thinke such a matter: oh fine cunning plot?

Sim.
List this; when hence I bad thee get thee in,
Chremes came fitly to me.

Dau.
Are we troe
Not lost for euer?

Sim.
I told all to him
Thou late toldst me.

Dau.
What heare I?

Sim.
Begg'd of him,
And scarce at length won him to giue his daughter.

Dau.
I am vndone.

Sim.
What saist?

Dau.
Excellently done.

Sim.
Now he's not backward.

Chre.
Ile straight get me home,
And leaue word all be had in readinesse:
Thence giue you notice.

Sim.
Now I prethee Dauus,
Exit Chremes
Since thou alone hast wrought this marriage for vs—

Dau.
Yes sure, I was th'onely worker.

Sim.
Doe now
Indeauour further to reclaime my sonne.

Dau.
Yes truely, I will looke toot carefully.

Sim.
Thou maist now do it, whil'st his minde is vexed.

Dau.
Pray take no Care.

Sim.
Looke toot then:
But where now is he himselfe?

Dau.
Tis marle but he's at home.

Sim.
Ile too him then, and to himselfe deliuer
All I told thee.

Dau.
I am now iust nothing.
Exit Simo.
What hinders, but I fairely take my way
Directly to the mill, and fall a grinding?
Intreatie may doe nothing; I haue drawne
All things to such confusion: first deceiu'd
My Master: then haue headlong thrust his sonne
Vpon a marriage, that he look'd not for:
And cleane against his will: and this to day
To be made vp, by my alone procurement.
Pray marke th'end of cunning: had I sat still,
No euill in the world had happened.
Enter Pamphilus.
And see where he is. I am a meere dead man.
Would I had any meanes to breake my necke now.

Scen. 5.

Pam.
VVhere is the villaine has vndone me?

Dau.
I
Am a plaine castaway.

Pam.
But I confesse
Tis iustly fall'n vpon me; since I am
So idle, vaine, and inconsiderate:
Ought I to trust my whole state to a slaue;
A prating slaue? I haue my follies hire:
But vnreueng'd he nere shall scape with it.

Dau.
Ile nere doubt tempest, if I scape this storme.

Pam.
But now what answer shall I make my father?
Shall I denie to marrie, who but now
Consented to it? with what impudence
May I dare doe it? neither with my selfe
Know I what course to take.

Dau.
Troth nor I, neither:
But I am canuassing my braines about it.
Ile tell him Ile forthwith finde out some meanes
A little to put off his threatned vengeance.

Pam.
Oh—

Dau.
I'm spide.

Pam.
Oh, you sir, honest fellow
Come neerer, what saist to me? doe you see now
How I am puzled through your goodly counsell?

Dau.
Ile presently make all cleare.

Pam.
Thou make cleare?

Dau.
Pamphilus indeede I will

Pam.
I, as erewhile.

Dau.
Nay, I hope better

Pam.
Trust thee pillorie?
Or thou make good a case perplexed, lost?
See what a suresby I haue trusted too;
Who from a quiet state I late stood in,
This day hast thrust me on a mariage:
Did I not tell thee it would thus fall out?

Dau.
You did.

Pam.
What hast then deserued?

Dau.
Hanging.
A little yet let me collect my selfe.
Ile streight finde out some helpe.

Pam.
Oh me accurst:
Why want I time to plague thee as I would?
This scarce will serue my danger to preuent,
Permits me not pursue thy punishment.

Exeunt Pamphilus and Dauus.