An Original Collection of Songs sung at the Theatres Royal, Public Concerts &c. &c. By W. T. Moncrieff |
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ANALIZATION. |
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 | An Original Collection of Songs |  |
4
ANALIZATION.
What are mortals made of?
By analization
I've tried all the nation,
Defined each gradation,
And prov'd every station,
With Sir Humphry's best
New chemical test,
And found what mortals are made of.
By analization
I've tried all the nation,
Defined each gradation,
And prov'd every station,
With Sir Humphry's best
New chemical test,
And found what mortals are made of.
What are little girls made of?
A bib and a tucker,
And cheeks in a pucker,
Caps, corals, and beads,
And samplers and dolls,
Cakes, and caudle, sugar and spice,
Mamma's darling and all that is nice,
And such are our little girls made of!
A bib and a tucker,
And cheeks in a pucker,
Caps, corals, and beads,
And samplers and dolls,
Cakes, and caudle, sugar and spice,
Mamma's darling and all that is nice,
And such are our little girls made of!
What are our little boys made of?
Of long tasks saying,
And truant playing,
Pulling and hauling,
And teazing and bawling,
Bats and balls, and whips and tops,
Dogs-ear'd books and dirty chops,
And such are are little boys made of!
Of long tasks saying,
And truant playing,
Pulling and hauling,
And teazing and bawling,
Bats and balls, and whips and tops,
Dogs-ear'd books and dirty chops,
And such are are little boys made of!
What are our young maids made of?
Of concerts and dances,
And sanctified glances.
Bows and bonnets,
And very fine sonnets,
Boarding-school graces, and ribbons and laces,
And sweet pretty faces, when kept in their places,
And such are our young maids made of!
Of concerts and dances,
And sanctified glances.
Bows and bonnets,
And very fine sonnets,
Boarding-school graces, and ribbons and laces,
And sweet pretty faces, when kept in their places,
And such are our young maids made of!
What are our young men made of?
Of larks and sprees,
And do as they please,
Horses and hounds,
And “dammes,” and “zounds!”
Life in London, and Tom and Jerry,
Past twelve at night, and port and sherry,
And such are our young men made of!
Of larks and sprees,
And do as they please,
5
And “dammes,” and “zounds!”
Life in London, and Tom and Jerry,
Past twelve at night, and port and sherry,
And such are our young men made of!
What are young lovers made of?
Of fond valentines,
And amorous lines,
Ducks and dears,
And crocodile tears,
Licence and ring, love, honour, obey,
Bride-cake and favours, and the devil to pay,
And such are our young lovers made of.
Of fond valentines,
And amorous lines,
Ducks and dears,
And crocodile tears,
Licence and ring, love, honour, obey,
Bride-cake and favours, and the devil to pay,
And such are our young lovers made of.
What are our young wives made of
Of honey-moon,
And storm very soon,
Dears and loves,
And turtle doves,
Kisses and blisses, and all that's good,
That is, if they're rightly understood,
And such are our young wives made of!
Of honey-moon,
And storm very soon,
Dears and loves,
And turtle doves,
Kisses and blisses, and all that's good,
That is, if they're rightly understood,
And such are our young wives made of!
What are our husbands made of?
Of sulks and huffs,
And kicks and cuffs,
Conjugal rights,
And raking at nights,
Drinking and swearing, and this and that,
Doctors' Commons and no one knows what
And such are our husbands made of!
Of sulks and huffs,
And kicks and cuffs,
Conjugal rights,
And raking at nights,
Drinking and swearing, and this and that,
Doctors' Commons and no one knows what
And such are our husbands made of!
What are our old maids made of?
Of thrown away sighs,
And crow's-feet eyes,
Sprigs of rue,
And vinegar, too,
Parchment skin and hoarded riches,
Apes to lead, and bachelor's breeches,
And such are our old maids made of!
Of thrown away sighs,
And crow's-feet eyes,
Sprigs of rue,
And vinegar, too,
Parchment skin and hoarded riches,
Apes to lead, and bachelor's breeches,
And such are our old maids made of!
What are old bachelors made of?
Of bread and cheese,
And very weak knees,
Drivelling nose,
And rheumatic toes,
Funded riches and landed estate,
Worn out smalls and a very bald pate,
And such are old bachelors made of!
Of bread and cheese,
And very weak knees,
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And rheumatic toes,
Funded riches and landed estate,
Worn out smalls and a very bald pate,
And such are old bachelors made of!
What are our widows made of?
Of title deeds,
And very deep weeds,
A terrible sigh,
When there's any one nigh,
Jointures, scan. mag, toast and tea,
Prudery, flirting, and fiddle-de-dee,
And such are our widows made of!
Of title deeds,
And very deep weeds,
A terrible sigh,
When there's any one nigh,
Jointures, scan. mag, toast and tea,
Prudery, flirting, and fiddle-de-dee,
And such are our widows made of!
What are our rulers made of?
Of souls to feel,
For the public weal,
A hand to give,
And a heart to save;
Making us Britons all loyally sing
With heart and soul “Long live the King,”
And such are our rulers made of!
Of souls to feel,
For the public weal,
A hand to give,
And a heart to save;
Making us Britons all loyally sing
With heart and soul “Long live the King,”
And such are our rulers made of!
What are our statesmen made of?
Debates and speeches,
To spend our riches,
Wisdom great,
To take care of the State,
Nice cheese-parings, ways and means,
Loaves and fishes and candle-ends,
And such are our statesmen made of!
Debates and speeches,
To spend our riches,
Wisdom great,
To take care of the State,
Nice cheese-parings, ways and means,
Loaves and fishes and candle-ends,
And such are our statesmen made of!
What are our judges made of?
Of Westminster Hall,
And ermine withal,
Learned brother,
And lots of pother,
Counsel and jury and very wise looks,
Flaw in the indictment and statute books,
And such are our judges made of!
Of Westminster Hall,
And ermine withal,
Learned brother,
And lots of pother,
Counsel and jury and very wise looks,
Flaw in the indictment and statute books,
And such are our judges made of!
What are our officers made of?
Of power and skill,
Opponents to kill;
A heart without fear,
When the enemy's near,
And generous pity, that ever is shown,
To a fallen foe, when the battle is won,
And such are our officers made of!
Of power and skill,
Opponents to kill;
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When the enemy's near,
And generous pity, that ever is shown,
To a fallen foe, when the battle is won,
And such are our officers made of!
What are our merchants made of?
Of a careful pate,
And charity great,
Plenty of gold,
And worth untold,
Counting-house and London's pride,
And I think I may add the world's beside,
And such are our merchant's made of!
Of a careful pate,
And charity great,
Plenty of gold,
And worth untold,
Counting-house and London's pride,
And I think I may add the world's beside,
And such are our merchant's made of!
What are our M. P.'s made of?
Of a bought rotten Boro'
And loyalty thoro,'
Of “aye” and “no,”
And a time-serving bow,
Economy bills, thro' the house to be pass'd,
But always an eye to a good place, at last,
And such are our M. P.'s made of!
Of a bought rotten Boro'
And loyalty thoro,'
Of “aye” and “no,”
And a time-serving bow,
Economy bills, thro' the house to be pass'd,
But always an eye to a good place, at last,
And such are our M. P.'s made of!
What are our Parsons made of?
Of Latin and Greek.
And prayers, once a week;
Good living and port,
And a text of a sort;
Parsonage house and a great bush wig,
And a nice little smug curling tail'd tithe pig,
And such are our parsons made of.
Of Latin and Greek.
And prayers, once a week;
Good living and port,
And a text of a sort;
Parsonage house and a great bush wig,
And a nice little smug curling tail'd tithe pig,
And such are our parsons made of.
What are our doctors made of?
Of Warwick Lane,
A fee and a cane,
Rhubarb and manna,
And ipecacuanha,
Lotions, potions—powders and pills,
Visiting gig and long physicing bills,
And such are our doctors made of.
Of Warwick Lane,
A fee and a cane,
Rhubarb and manna,
And ipecacuanha,
Lotions, potions—powders and pills,
Visiting gig and long physicing bills,
And such are our doctors made of.
What are our lawyers made of?
Of causes and fees,
Demurrers and pleas,
The Court of King's Bench,
Where bills they retrench,
A dreadful long brief and a terrible case,
Tax'd costs and a very wry face.
And such are our lawyers made of!
Of causes and fees,
Demurrers and pleas,
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Where bills they retrench,
A dreadful long brief and a terrible case,
Tax'd costs and a very wry face.
And such are our lawyers made of!
What are our Authors made of?
Of paste and shears,
And folks by the ears,
A grey goose quill,
And fiction at will,
Stolen materials—foolscap and ink,
Lots of pretence and very little chink,
And such are our authors made of?
Of paste and shears,
And folks by the ears,
A grey goose quill,
And fiction at will,
Stolen materials—foolscap and ink,
Lots of pretence and very little chink,
And such are our authors made of?
What are our aldermen made of?
Of citizens' gains,
And gowns and gold chains,
Turtle and claret,
As long as they'll bear it;
Companies dinners and Guildhall chair,
Common Hall and hopes to be Mayor,
And such are aldermen made of!
Of citizens' gains,
And gowns and gold chains,
Turtle and claret,
As long as they'll bear it;
Companies dinners and Guildhall chair,
Common Hall and hopes to be Mayor,
And such are aldermen made of!
What are stock brokers made of?
Of bulls and bears
And companies shares,
Cash in the funds,
And Columbian bonds,
Cent. per cent. and a slice of the loan,
Lame duck and a 'Change Alley groan,
And such are stock brokers made of.
Of bulls and bears
And companies shares,
Cash in the funds,
And Columbian bonds,
Cent. per cent. and a slice of the loan,
Lame duck and a 'Change Alley groan,
And such are stock brokers made of.
What are our players made of?
Of masquerade speeches,
And other men's breeches,
Ranting and raillery,
Box, pit, and gallery,
Hosts of friends on a benefit night,
And lots of applause whene'er they act right,
And such are our players made of!
Of masquerade speeches,
And other men's breeches,
Ranting and raillery,
Box, pit, and gallery,
Hosts of friends on a benefit night,
And lots of applause whene'er they act right,
And such are our players made of!
What are musicians made of?
Of crotchets and quavers,
And great people's favours,
Cat gut to teaze,
And horse hair to please,
Gamut and rosin—and airs and graces
Flats and sharps, and lots of grimaces,
And such are musicians made of!
Of crotchets and quavers,
And great people's favours,
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And horse hair to please,
Gamut and rosin—and airs and graces
Flats and sharps, and lots of grimaces,
And such are musicians made of!
What are our dandies made of?
Of whiskers and snuff,
Of padding and puff,
A glass to the eye
When a female is nigh,
Sham collar—false calves and hair,
Stays laced and a head like a bear,
And such are our dandies made of.
Of whiskers and snuff,
Of padding and puff,
A glass to the eye
When a female is nigh,
Sham collar—false calves and hair,
Stays laced and a head like a bear,
And such are our dandies made of.
What are our Quakers made of?
Of broad cloth and starch,
And a deal board march,
Thee and thou,
And beaver on brow,
Meeting house and verily friend,
And yeas and nays without any end,
And such are our quakers made of!
Of broad cloth and starch,
And a deal board march,
Thee and thou,
And beaver on brow,
Meeting house and verily friend,
And yeas and nays without any end,
And such are our quakers made of!
What are our soldiers made of?
Of scarlet and lace,
And a brazen face,
Country quarters,
And maidens in garters,
Ale-house scores and trumpets and drums,
Oaths and scars and bullets and bombs,
And such are our soldiers made of!
Of scarlet and lace,
And a brazen face,
Country quarters,
And maidens in garters,
Ale-house scores and trumpets and drums,
Oaths and scars and bullets and bombs,
And such are our soldiers made of!
What are our sailors made of?
Of pitch and tar,
Pig-tail and scar,
Powder and smoke,
And hearts of oak,
Prize money and gold galore,
With a fidler and grog and a girl on shore,
And such are our sailors made of!
Of pitch and tar,
Pig-tail and scar,
Powder and smoke,
And hearts of oak,
Prize money and gold galore,
With a fidler and grog and a girl on shore,
And such are our sailors made of!
What are our Pawnbrokers made of?
Of money lent,
At twenty per Cent.
Apparel and plate,
And a duplicate,
Three nice golden balls hanging out,
A little back door and a very large spout,
And such are our pawnbrokers made of!
Of money lent,
At twenty per Cent.
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And a duplicate,
Three nice golden balls hanging out,
A little back door and a very large spout,
And such are our pawnbrokers made of!
What are our audiences made of?
Of generous friends,
With helping hands,
Ready to serve,
All those who deserve;
“Hats off”—“down”—“encore” and noise,
Pretty girls and merry boys,
And such are our audiences made of!
Of generous friends,
With helping hands,
Ready to serve,
All those who deserve;
“Hats off”—“down”—“encore” and noise,
Pretty girls and merry boys,
And such are our audiences made of!
| An Original Collection of Songs | |