An Original Collection of Songs :: :: University of Virginia Library

Pythagoras, that sage pragmatic,
Has, if you'll the Ancients seek,
Of Transmigrations most Dogmatic,
Told in Categoric Greek—
That Quadrupeds once Bipeds were,
Canis, Equus, or Ursa—
Two legs that had, though not a pair,
But I shall prove 'tis Vice Versa.
Pointer, Lurcher, Mastiff, Spaniel,
Each finds, as through life he jogs—
The World's no more than one wide Kennel—
Mankind, different sorts of Dogs.

Soldiers, Pointers in the field are,
That a shot delight to hear—
Sailors, Mastiffs that ne'er yield, are
Whom the foeman well may fear.
Pets are Lap Dogs for the Ladies,
Comb'd and trimm'd, they Beauty court,
Beaux, are Poodles, that on gay days,
Brutuses delight to sport!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

225

Lawyers, Dogs are hard to muzzle
Snarling, biting for their prey—
Topers, Dogs that love to guzzle,
Though they're Water Dogs, they say!
What's the Bailiff but a Setter?
What are Spendthrifts but their game?
Brag's a good Dog, but a better
Is Holdfast, and that's their name!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

Courtiers, they're a pack of Harriers,
That the Country overrun—
Ministers of State are Terriers,
In catching Rats excell'd by none!
The noisiest Dogs throughout the Nation,
Until they a place obtain,
Are Patriots—but in situation
Placed, they never bark again
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

Lovers, Spaniels are, complaining,
Though they fawn, the more they're spurn'd,
Husbands, House Dogs, that want chaining—
Wives, are Turn spits, easy turn'd!
Critics, good Dogs are for Vermin,
Scribblers killing soon as found—
Coxcombs, Pups whose tongues want worming,
Pups that very much abound!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

What are Parsons, with their praying,
But Sheep Dogs, as we're told,
That should keep their flocks from straying—
Guide them to their proper fold.
Surgeons are a sort of Blood Hounds,
To run down all ill intent—
Grey hounds, they are very good hounds,
As was prov'd in Parliament!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

226

New Policemen, they are Watch Dogs,
Taking great care of the Area.
What's Informers? Mongrels, Catch Dogs,
Dogs that vilely fetch and carry
Honest Men are Newfoundland Dogs,
Valuable Dogs, indeed!
Where'er found, they're our right hand Dogs,
Would we could increase the breed!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

Dogs in Office Magistrates
Sometimes prove, to teaze delighting,
Growling over the Poor Rates,
And at Beggars, snarling, biting!
Whigs are Fox Hounds, keen of scent,
Whipp'd in by the Treasury hacks—
To run Reynard down intent—
Gamesters, Dogs that go in Packs
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

Proctors, they are Barking Dogs—
Dogs that I would not disparage
Of Running Couples—Catalogues
They give tongue, to us of Marriage!
Tax Gatherers, Wolf Dogs once were,
Hunting mankind night and day—
And some Female Dogs there are,
Are sad—what I will not say!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

What's the Opposition Tories?
Dogs in mangers—senseless elves!
Who would keep us from the glories
Which they can't enjoy themselves?
What are Dandies? Let them grieve—
Pugs Dogs, Shock Dogs, every one—
While those, who'd their friends deceive,
Mad Dogs are that all should shun!
Pointer, Lurcher, &c.

227

The French are Dancing Dogs, delighting
Evermore to sport and play—
We English, Bull Dogs, that love fighting.
That still die ere we give way!
A faithful Dog, to friends, I vow, sir,
Am I—nor Lurcher, that has fail'd—
But I'd best make my bow, wow, wow, sir,
Ere, by your anger, I'm curtail'd!
Pointer, Lurcher, Mastiff, Spaniel—
Each finds, as through life he jogs,
The World's no more but one wide kennel—
Mankind, different sorts of Dogs