The Ingoldsby Lyrics :: :: University of Virginia Library

“Mr. B--- sends his bill back—won't pay it—and begs
To inform the Committee they're regular ‘legs,’
And have charged him too much for his ham and his eggs!”

No. II.

“Dear Sir—The Committee direct me to say
That the bill's quite correct which was sent you to-day;
It was not eight o'clock when you sat down to dine,
And we charge for the table from four until nine.
They have not the least wish your remonstrance to stifle,
But you're wrong—and they'll thank you to pay that'ere trifle!
I am further desired to inform Mr. B—
That, in calling them ‘legs,’ he makes rather too free.

“J. W.”

191

No. III.

“You may tell that banditti, the --- Committee,
Not a chop-house would charge me so much in the City.
'Twas no dinner at all; I meant only to sup;
If you say that I dined you're a lying old pup!
You may tell the Committee again—and I say it,
They are ‘legs’—and sixpence!—I'm hanged if I pay it.

“M. B.”

No. IV.

“Sir—Once more the Committee direct me to state,
When you sat down to dinner it had not struck eight;
When you come to consider what ‘table’ means here—
Cloth, napkin, wax, vinegar, mustard, oil, beer,
Pepper, pickles, and bread at discretion—it's clear
The additional sixpence can never be dear!
So you'd better fork out, sir, at once; if you won't
They must really enforce it—and blessed if they don't!

“J. W.”

No. V.

“Take the sixpence, you thieves! I say still it's a chouse;
Your threat to ‘enforce’ I don't value one—
And hang me if I ever set foot in your house!

“M. B.”

192

VI.

“Sir—Since writing my last I have asked the advice
Of my friends Mr. Bacon and Governor Price,
And the governor says ‘he'll be—sir’ if I'm
Not a jackass for writing what I thought sublime;
‘It's just what the --- fellows wanted; you'd better
Get somebody else, sir, to write you a letter
Withdrawing your own.’ So I have, and I'll thank
The Committee to mark that this comes by a frank.

“M. B.”

No. VII.

“Mr. Winston presents his best compliments—begs
To inform Mr. B--- he is somewhat mistaken
If, having got into his scrape by his eggs,
He thinks to get out of it now by his Bacon!