The Poetical Works of The Rev. Samuel Bishop :: :: University of Virginia Library

Gentlemen of the Session round,
With reverence and respect profound,
I on the spot, before you, here,
Counsel for plaintiff Noon appear;—
For why?—Said Noon in sundry cases,
Things, matters, premises, and places,
(As pr Instructions in my brief)
Stands much aggriev'd; and craves relief.

My client, Gentlemen, refers
To clouds of evidence;—and avers
That Morn aud Afternoon combining,
Plotting, contriving, and designing,

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By covert guile, and overt act,
(Contra statut' provis' et fact')
From his undoubted claim and right,
Have partly, and would oust him quite,
Cancel all proofs of his identity,
And make him a downright non-entity;
Scarce to be found by search or trial,
Save on the surface of a dial:
For this he owns, and owns with pride,
Hurt as he is by all beside,
Spite of ill-luck, spite of ill-will,
His friend the Sun, sticks by him still.

The special damage he sustains,
Thus with submission Noon explains.

Time was (he warrants me to say)
When people rose, because 'twas Day;
Rising so soon, they drest as soon;
And all the World was gay by Noon:

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Whose presence two-fold lustre threw;
Nature's meridian, and Day's too.
Think, then, how Noon held up his head!
—But oh! that golden age is fled!
Th' intruder Morn, too near allied
To luxury, indolence, and pride,
By such encroachments has crept on,
That Noon is fairly past and gone,
And westward far, his journey takes,
Ere half the modern World awakes:
Whereby he mourns his honour lost,
His joy abridg'd, his influence crost;
And fears, among politer folk,
(Should Fashion carry on the joke)
His very name may soon be hist hence,
As much a bore, as his existence.

So close his neighbour Morning shaves!
Now mark how Afternoon behaves!—

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In palace, college, hall, of yore,
Bounce went at Noon the buttery door;
The mutton-bell the guests convok'd;
His rosy gills the chaplain strok'd;
All stomachs, and all spirits up;
They slic'd, they laugh'd; they smack'd the cup;
Then with new glee, new toils begun;
And seem'd to live two days in one.
Now, appetite at four, at five,
At six, is scarcely scarce alive;
And Afternoon usurps the place,
Which Noon once held with twice the grace.
Yet let not Afternoon presume;—
Himself may meet an equal doom;
To modish whim, perforce may yield,
And quit, ere dinner-time, the field;
Tho' past the hour, when stretch'd for rest,
Our sires were in their night-caps drest.

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(This by the bye,)—Poor Noon meanwhile,
Scouted by taste, and ton, and style,
Scarce sees a dinner in a year,
Save where day-labourers club for beer;
Or gypsies stolen fuel store,
To cook the mess—they stole before.

Here Noon aforesaid ends his charge;
And hopes he need not now enlarge
On merits held, agreed, and known,
Time immemorial, for his own.
If haply in life's earlier day,
He gave you many an hour of play,
If e'er intenser rays he shoot,
Ripening your grain, mellowing your fruit,
If oft, in winter's dire extreme,
He treats you with a casual gleam;
And tho' oblique, and tho' opprest,
Faint as he shines, yet shines his best;

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Hear and redress a case so hard!—
—He'll not demur from your award;
But sure of candor and support,
Rest on the Judgment of the Court.