The Works of Capt. Alex. Radcliffe :: :: University of Virginia Library

Hermione was the Daughter of Menelaus and Hellen. Her Mother ran away with a young Fellow, one Paris, they went together beyond the Seas. Her Husband who lov'd her well, persu'd 'em, and after many years, found his Wife and rescu'd her from her Gallant, and without any resentment of the Injury, took her again. During their absence, their Daughter (who had an Estate left her by her Unkle) was committed to the Custody of her Grand-father, who marri'd her to a School-fellow and Cozen German of hers, by name Orestes. Her Father brought home with him one Pyrrhus a wild young Fellow, to whom he Marri'd her again, taking no notice of the first match. She silly harmless Girl; wonders at the design, and to her Husband Orestes writes this innocent Letter.

To thee I write my dear and only Cuz;
Nor will I be afraid to call thee Spouse:
Though here's a Fellow come resolv'd to swear
I am his Wife, and he will mak't appear:

He looks sometimes, as if he long'd to eat me,
Sometimes he looks so gruff, as if he'd beat me:
He says he is Achilles Son and Heir,
And bids me disobey him, if I dare;
He kisses me so hard, the strongest man;
He gets a top of me do what I can;
With all my strength my Legs together joyn,
But with one Knee, hee'l open both of mine.
I call him Rogue and Rascal, filthy Sot,
And all the beastly Names I can get out:
I'm Marry'd Sirrah, therefore don't mistake it,
I have a Husband that will thwack your Jacket:
Yet that's all one, he cares not what is said;
But by the Hair he drags me into bed:
They talk of Girls, forc'd by unruly men,
They can't be forc'd so much as I have been:
Yet all this while Orestes comes not near me,
I am afraid you do not love your Hermey;

You'l fight for Money, as you'd fight for Life,
And won't you fight a little for your Wife?
On while my Father mist my Mother Hellen,
Lord! There was such a noise, and such a yelling,
He rais'd up all the People in our Lane,
And ne'r was quiet, till she came again.
I wou'd not have you make a noise for me,
But come and kill this fellow quietly;
Give him a good sound blow, and never fear man,
It is for me, your Wife and Cozin German.
You know my Guardian marri'd me to you
When we were both so young, we could not do—
Now from beyond Sea comes my Father huffing,
And will needs marry me to this same Ruffian,
He vapours here about his Country Blood,
I guess your English Familie's as good:
He says, you've led a very wicked life,
And that you broke your Mothers heart with grief,

For talking so of you, I'd slit his Tongue,
And pull his Eyes out too, if I were strong;
'Tis something strange, we're of a Generation
Where Ravishing has been a mighty fashion:
My Grandmother was ravish'd by one Swan,
A little Couzin by another man;
My mother has been ravish'd once or twice,
And I am ravish'd now by her advice.
Must I with such a Rogue as this be match'd?
A more unlucky Girle was never hatch'd.
My mother left me here a little Wench,
Just big enough to clamber on a Bench;
She was stark mad for that young fellow—Paris,
And after him she danc'd the new Fagaries:
My Father for his life cou'd not forbear,
But ran a-catter-wawling after her;
Now they're come home, but with such alt'red looks,
As if they some were strange Outlandish fo'kes.

My Father has a Beard below his Band,
I did not know my Mother, she's so tann'd:
Toward my good, what did she ever do?
When she was gone, I larn't to knit and sow;
I use my needle now as well's another,
But 'tis no God-a-mercy to my Mother:
When she came in, she knew not who I was;
This Girl, said she, is grown a strapping Lass,
She must be marry'd or she'l grow too busie;
Look here, I have brought thee home a Husband, Hussy:
With that he threw his Paws about my Neck;
Kill him, Orestes, or my heart will break:
I draw the Curtains when he's fast asleep,
And out of Bed, soon as 'tis day, I leap;
But I do toss and tumble all Night long,
As if by Bugs and Pismires I'd been stung:
Sometimes when I'm asleep, by chance there lies,
One of myhands squeez'd close between his thighs;

I snatch't away as soon as e're I wake,
With as much speed, as if I'd felt a Snake;
To th' other side o'th' Bed, I jerk from him,
And sometimes lay one Breech upon the Beam;
Then after me, he by degrees will steal,
Pray Sir keep off, say I, I am not well;
He seems as if he did not understand,
And then he reches out his hasty hand;
I speak as plainly to him as I can,
I tell him I'm not fitting for a Man.
Pshaw, Pshaw! says he, I know you do but jest.
'Pon the whole matter he's a filthy Beast:
For God's sake Orey, Prethee-now contrive,
Some way or other that he may not live:
For here I take my Oath upon a Book,
If you don't get me off by hook or crook,
That we may do as marry'd People my,
I'll either kill my self, or run away.