The Works of Capt. Alex. Radcliffe :: :: University of Virginia Library

Macareus and Canace, Son and Daughter of Æolus (a Trumpeter of the Guards) being from children brought up together, at the last grew so intimately acquainted, that they made bold to lie with one another. Canace prov'd with Child by her Brother Macareus. She was deliver'd in the house; and the Nurse contriv'd to convey the Child through the Hall when Æolus was sounding his Trumpet, accompany'd with several sorts of Wind-musick; notwithstanding that noise, the shrill Cry of the Infant was over-heard by Æolus, who sent it away to be left in the Streets, and expos'd to the mercy of the Parish; and to his Daughter Canace he sent a

Halter, with this Message,—This you have deserved,—and you know how to use it. Canace hang'd her self (as you may guess) before she wrote this Letter.

Before there rude, distracted Lines you read,
Believe the unlucky Authress of 'em dead.
Ever to see me more's beyond all Hope,
One hand a Pen, the other holds a Rope:
My blustring Father's troubled with a Whim,
And I must hang my self to humour him.

But when he sees my Carcase on the floor,
Surely he'll cease to call me Bitch or Whore:
His puffing and his blowing will be in vain,
He cannot puffe me into life again:
His Mind is swell'd much bigger then his Face,
I am (he saies) his Family's Disgrace:
All his great Friends and Kindred are provok't;
What are his Friends to me when I am choak'd?

I wish that we had stifled one another
That night I clung so closely to you, Brother:
Why did you love me more then did become ye?
It had been happy, if y'ad kick'd me from ye:
When first, with pleasure, I lay under you,
Would y'ad been lighter by a stone or two.

At first I wondred what should be the matter,
I look'd like Death, and was as week as Water:
For several days I loath'd the sight of Meat,
And every night I chew'd the upper Sheet:
I'd such Obstructions, I was almost moap'd,
My Breath came short, my—were stop'd.

I call'd old Nurse, and told her how it was;
She, an experienc'd Bawd, soon groap'd the Cause:
Quoth she, for this Disease, take what you can,
You'll ne'er be well, till you have taken Man:
When I was young, I thought I was bewitch'd,
I scrach't my Belly, for it alwaies itch'd.

The Truth I will no longer hide, said I,
I must enjoy my Brother, or I die:
She tickl'd me, and told me 'twas no Sin,
Nearer of Blood, said she, the deeper in:
Both you and I approv'd what Nurse had said,
So, without more a-do, we went to Bed:
You in my belly rummag'd all about,
To find this wonderfull distemper out:
Too soon 'twould be discovered, was my Fear,
I could have let you searc'd for ever there:
But Nurse can tell how I did sigh and sob
When we perceiv'd that you had done the Jobb.

I made th' old Beldam foot it up and down
To every Quack and Mountebank in Town,
For Dendelion, and Camelions-thighs,
Spirit of Saffron mixt with Vulters-eyes:
I would have given all I had been worth,
T'have kill'd the Child, before it had come forth:

But the stronge Rogue lay fencing in my Womb,
And did those pois'nous Potions overcome:
Oh! when I saw the ninth Moon in the Wane,
Then I was in the Full—of grief and Pain;
Then, then my Throws came on m thick and thick;
I groan'd but for my Life I durst not schreik
Untill my Tortures came to such a growth
That Nurse with both her Hands did stop my Mouth:
I should have cry'd so loud, that every Neighbour
Would have discover'd I had been in Labour:
No woman yet that ever wore a Navel,
Endur'd so hard and so severe a Travel.

I curs'd your Sex, and wish'd a Rot might come
On all the Stallions throughtout Christendome
At last you came; I knew you by your tread;
I peep'd at you, though I was almost dead:

T'ward me you seem'd to have some kind Remorse
But look'd, as if you would have eaten Nurse.

You held my back-parts, you could do no more;
Would you had never felt the Parts before.

Sister, said you, you shall not die this bout,
We're both unluky, but, we'll rub it out.

To see what words from those we love can do,
(Surely the Child within me heard you too,)
For streight he sprang forth from me, and did seem
To make his passage in a flowing Stream:
'Twas hard enough: but now's a harder Case,
To hide the Business from my Father's face;
We did consult how to devise a way
Thorough the Hall our Bastard to conveigh.

My Father in Wind-musick still delighted,
And all the Gang that night he had envited:
Fellows that play on Bag-pipes, and the Fife;
The old man always lov'd a noiseful Life:

They all did sound together after Supper,
And then to carry 'em off, we thought, was proper.

Nurse, in her Apron took the little Brat,
Swath'd up in Linnin, Rushes over that;
Quite through the Hall she went her usual pace,
And, unconcern'd her self, humm'd Chevy-Chase.

Just to the door s'had safely carry'd him,
When the unlucky Wretch began to screme:
His little Organ made a shriller noise
Than all the Fluits, Recorders, or Ho-boies:
The old man prick'd his ears up, like a Hare,
And after Nurse ran nimbly, as the Air:
Whither so fast, said he, old Mother Trundle?
Pray, let us see, what have you in your Bundle:
Quoth Nurse,—'Tis Mristress Canny's dirty Smoak,
Men into Womens secerts should not look.

He puff'd away the Rushes from her Lap,
And there appear'd the little sprauling Ape:

'Zounds, saies my Father, What is here? A Kid!
My Daughter Canny's finely brought to bed?

He rais'd so great a Tempest in the House,
I thought that Hell it self was broken loose;
He rag'd so loud, the Bed shook under me;
Methought I was in some great Storm at Sea:
He rush'd into the Room, and did discover
The bloody Symptoms of a Child-bed Lover:
Our Sexes Stains by him were here discry'd
Which Women from their own dear Husbands hide:
With his own hands he did design to wound me,
But that he saw something like Murther round me:
The Bastard in the Streets he did expose,
And what will be his destiny, God knows:
The little Knave, with Tears, did seem to answer,
As who should say, I beg your pardon Gransir,
Out went old Trump; I by his Looks could find
There was some mischief hatching in his mind,

In came a Fellow of the Bag-pipe Gang
Whose very Whiskers seem'd to say, go hang;
Before his words came out his tongue did falter;
At last he spake, Canny, look here's a Halter:
Your Father saies, 'Tis this you do deserve;
If you'll not use it, you may live and starve.
His most obedient Daughter he shall think me;
If I don't hang my self, the Devil-sink me.

Since Whoreing does produce such strange effects
Would I'd been born a Monster without Sex:
Let my young Sisters all be warn'd by me,
And curb betimes Incestuous Lechery.

This I request of you, Dear Brother Mac.
That of our wretched Child some care you'd take;
If you can find him out, be not unwilling,
Towards his maintenance, to drop a shilling.

Let these my last words be observ'd by you,
As I obey my Father's:—so,—Adieu.