University of Virginia Library

Roller Derby: 'Necks,' Violence And Flying Ice

By ANDY BALLENTINE

Things looked bad for the
Cats. The big, bad Bombers
from New York had quickly
run up a 22 point lead, and the
Baltimore-Washington Cats
could do nothing right. They
looked listless and flat. The
Bombers were cheating and the
refs weren't even calling
penalties! This was all too
much for a self-respecting Cat
fan to take, and soon the Ice
began to fly, aimed at the refs,
the Bombers, and even at me.
Perhaps standing there with a
camera made me responsible.

This was Roller Derby.
People had come to
Charlottesville Saturday night
from as far away as Washington
to cheer the resplendent Cats in
their white uniforms and to
boo the Bombers, ominous in
their dark blue garb.

For acres in the parking lot
outside of U Hall pickup trucks
and jacked-up Faloons
abounded. Few students were
in Saturday night's 5,000
person crowd, and as another
photographer covering the
event remarked, "It looks like
every 'neck' in the state is
here."

Twenty-five minutes before
game time, the menacing
Bombers appeared on the floor
to begin their warmups amid a
chorus of boos and jeers. Every
time one of the Bombers
would fall, the crowd would
cheer, and the player would
regain his roller-skated feet and
menacingly gesture to the
crowd. A true villain.

Then came the Cats. While
the Bombers obviously hated
the crowd, the Cats spent ten
minutes signing autographs.
While the Bombers
occasionally tripped during the
warmups, the Cats were
pictures of grace, working
together as a closely-knit team
and finding every opportunity
to smile and joke. With white
ten-gallon hats, they could
have been put in a western

movie and labeled "The Good
Guys."

Ruberta Mitchell, a
bona fide Roller Derby
superstar, was clearly the
heroine of the night. Shouts of
"Ruberta! Ruberta, come
here!' ' followed her
everywhere as she signed
autographs. She was
announced as "one of the
nicest ladies around" and
always performed superbly on
the track, to the delight of all
her disciples.

Of course, there was plenty
of violence, enough to satisfy
anybody's appetite for a while.
But being allowed right up to
the track's edge to take
pictures gave me an advantage
not enjoyed by the more
distant paying customers.
Strangely enough, all of those
punches missed the opponent's
face by two or three inches,
and all of those kicks to the
groin never quite reached their
target. But even so, the players
were acting as if they had
painful effects!

Perhaps the most
entertaining event of the night
was watching 40 and 50 year
old adults scream with glee
whenever Ruberta or any of
the other Cats retaliated
against a Bomber. It was
always retaliation, though, and
the Bombers always had it
coming.

***

Roller Derby is played by
two five-man teams, speeding
around a small circular track
on roller skates. Each team
plays with two helmeted
players, and points are scored
when these two pass every member
of the opposing team. No holds
are barred when playing
defense, anything from
grabbing around the neck to
forcing a player into the rails
around the track is
permissible.

The players are constantly
on the road, often playing in
five different arenas a week.
The teams drove to

Charlottesville from
Washington, D.C. Saturday,
but they may take a plane, or a
train, depending upon how far
they have to go.

"Looking forward to the
next day off is what keeps us
going," Ruberta joked. The
Roller Derby season has been
constantly expanding in the
last few years because of
increased demand, leading up
to the present, where the
players must compete
year-round.

"We're always off for two
weeks at Christmas time," said
Ruberta. "Oh, we are?"
responded Cat defense player
Peter Kelly.

The Cats play the majority
of their games on the East
Coast and in the South. "We
do go on tours," Peter said.
"We might even play in Japan,
where they have an organized
league set up."

Roller Derby salaries are
not as impressive as major
sports such as football or
basketball, but they are
respectable. "We sure don't get
paid anything like $175,000 to
play Roller Derby for a year,"
Ruberta declared. "But a
rookie will make $7,500 to
$10,000 to start out, and the
salaries rise from there."

How much does a superstar
get paid, I prodded. "Well, it's
a pretty tough business, and I'm
not going to tell the guy next
to me how much I get paid,"
retorted Peter. "In other
professional sports, I've seen
footballers who say they signed
for $100,000 or $200,000 a
year, and you can believe it or
you can disbelieve it.
Personally, I don't believe it,"
he concluded.

Roller Derby players are
shuffled about from team to
team just like players in any
other sport. "You can be
traded, drafted, or just join
your own team," Peter said.
"It all depends on your
contract."

Crowds don't vary from
North to South, or for that
matter, from country to
country. "They're all wild,"
Ruberta said. "You can't
ignore the crowd, because they
throw things at the opposing
team. For instance, in
Washington, they throw
whiskey bottles, bottles of
Bacardi's and beer cans."

"They also throw rocks,"
Peter interacted. "One hit the
top of Ruberta's head one
time."

Neither hero cared to
conjecture what type of crowd
comes to see the Roller Derby.
"I think it's a pretty broad
cross section," Peter said. "I
wouldn't want to say that we
only appeal to blue collar
workers, because the white
collar workers who follow us
wouldn't like it."

"I agree with Peter," added
Ruberta. "I've known people
myself, actors, actresses,
doctors, teachers - they all like
it. So I don't think you can pin
it down."

Peter feels that Roller
Derby's drawing power holds
its own against basketball and
hockey. "Football of course
has a much shorter season so
more people go to see a game,"
he said. "And baseball is
America's number one sport,
and it has so much coverage
that we can't beat it. But we
are making gains."

Finally, we got down to the
big question: is Roller Derby
fake? We discussed the relation
between Roller Derby and
professional wrestling, the
laughing stock of any semi
self-respecting human being.

"Wrestling is an exhibition,
while we are a legitimate
sport," Ruberta said. "We are
not exhibitionists out there." I
successfully kept a straight
face. But it wasn't easy.

"I guess people get the idea
that we're only a show because
of the showmanship that some
people use," Peter said. "But
people practice showmanship
in baseball and football, and
aren't they legitimate sports?"

But I kept thinking that in
baseball and football the
players do not know for sure
ahead of time who will win. As
Ruberta and Peter sat there
talking to me, the Cats were
preparing to go after their 24th
win in a row.

***

The more I watched the
game, the more the novelty
wore off. The violence was all
fake and the game's pattern
was familiar. I had seen it
many times before: the bad
guys build up a seemingly
unsurmountable lead until the
faithful fans begin to lose all
hope. But right as the game
seems to be lost, the bad guys
start to make mistakes, and the
good guys storm back to
victory.

How could people pay
money to see this stuff, I
wondered as I watched their
never-ending enthusiasm.
Eventually however, my
boredom grew to intolerable
proportions, so I left.

But it all turned out o.k.
The Cats won their 24th game
in a row, 85-80.