University of Virginia Library

2. CHAPTER II.

While Dan Cupid was shooting his arrows
with such effect from the windows of the prison,
to those of the palace, and so back again, the
Heer Piper and Madam Edith were taken up
with other weighty affairs, that prevented any
interference with the young people on their
part. His Excellency was confined to his
room with a fit of the gout; a disorder, which,
according to the theory of a waggish friend of
ours, naturally resolves itself into three distinct
stages in its progress. The first is the swearing
stage, wherein the patient now and then indulges
himself with damning the gout lustily. The
second, called the praying stage, is when he softens
down his exclamations into “O, my G—d!” or
“bless my soul!” and the like. The third, and
worst of all, is the whistling stage, during which
the patient is seen to draw up his leg with a long
wh—e—e—w! accompanied by divers contortions

of visage. This gout, the Heer was wont
to say, was the only inheritance he received from
his father, who left one of his sons the estate
without the gout, and the other the gout without
the estate; which, in the opinion of Governor
Piper, was a most unjust distribution.

During these attacks, the Heer's natural
irascibility of temper was, as might be expected,
greatly increased, insomuch, that if any one
came suddenly into the room, or opened the
door with a noise, or walked heavily, so as to
shake the floor, he would flourish his crutch most
manfully, and exclaim, “der teufel hole dich, der
galgen schivenkel;” or, if it happened to be Bombie
of the Frizzled Head, “das tonnerwetter
schlage dich kreutzeveis in den boden,” one of his
most bitter denunciations. Indeed, the only
person allowed to approach him was the fair and
gentle Christina, whose soothing whispers, and
soft, delicate touch, seemed to charm away his
pains, and lull his impatient spirit into temporary
rest. At such times, he would lay his hand
gently on her head, cry “God bless thee, my
daughter,” and close his eyes in quiet resignation.
Such is the balm of filial affection! such
the divine ministration of tender, duteous
woman!

On these occasions, the gentle Christina would
glide out of the room like the sylph of divine
poetry, and seat herself at her window, there to
indulge her newly awakened feelings, and sigh
over the captivity of the handsome stranger.

In the mean while, Madam Edith was busily
employed in the investigation of some stories
circulating in the village, and especially in getting
at the bottom of a report concerning a certain
love affair, current at that time. Any thing of
this sort gave her the fidgets in a most alarming
degree; for she resembled Queen Elizabeth in
this respect, that the marriage of any one within
the sphere of her influence, gave her a similar
sensation with that cherished by the dog in the
manger, who would not eat himself, nor suffer
any body else to eat. However this may be,
aunt Edith was so completely monopolized by
out-door business, that she paid little attention
to what was going on within, and suffered her
niece to do as she pleased, without interruption.

In process of time, the Heer Piper became
sufficiently recovered to limp about with crutch
and velvet shoe, and take an interest in the
affairs of the village, which, in his opinion, had
suffered exceedingly during his illness. One
day, by chance, he bethought himself of the Long

Finne, and pondered how it came to pass that
he had not been brought to confession by this
time. He had now been imprisoned nearly a
fortnight, and Governor Piper held him to be
a tough piece of humanity, if he did not, by this
time, feel somewhat compunctious, under the
combined influence of solitude and hunger. He
forthwith determined to call the fair, tall youth
before his privy council, and accordingly,
despatched his trusty messenger Cupid, grandson
to the incomprehensible Bombie of the Frizzled
Head, to summon them together.

This Cupid was a gentleman of colour, as
the polite phrase is, about four feet and a half
high, with an ebony complexion, flat nose, long
wrinkled face, small eyes, sunk in his head, a
wide mouth, high cheeks, bushy eye-brows and
eye-lids, small bandy legs, of the cucumber
outline, and large splay feet, which, it is affirmed,
continued to increase in size, long after every
other part of him had done growing. In short,
he was, to use the phrase of our southern
brethren, “a likely fellow.”

Cupid was reckoned the worst chap in the
whole village, being always at the head ofevery
species of juvenile mischief; and, if report spoke
truth, had more than once attempted to set fire

to the houses of persons against whom he had
a pique. Lob Dotterel's fingers itched to get
hold of him; but the awe in which he, together
with the rest of the villagers, stood of his
grandmother's supernatural powers, checked
the surprising vigilance of the high constable,
and saved Cupid's bacon more than once. The
boy, who was now supposed to be about
eighteen, notwithstanding his diminutive size,
was as obstinate as a mule, as mischevious as a
monkey, and as ill-natured as a bull-dog.
Punishment was lost upon him, and kindness
thrown away. Neither one nor the other ever
drew a tear from his eye, an acknowledgement
of his fault, or promise of future amendment.
Belonging, as he did, to a race who seemed
born to endure, both in their native Afric, and
everywhere else, he suffered in silence, and
revenged himself in the obscurity of the night,
by the exercise of a degree of dexterous cunning,
which is often seen among those whose situation
represses the impulses of open vengeance.

The only gleams of affection or attachment
ever exhibited by this dwarfish and miserable
being, seemed called forth by his grandmother,
and an old Swedish cur, belonging to the Heer.
If any one insulted or worried, as children are

wont to do, the old woman, or the old dog, the
rage of the dwarf was terrible, and his revenge
bounded only by his means of mischief. Twice
had he cut open the head of a village urchin
guilty of this offence, with a large stone, and
once was on the point of stabbing another, if he
had not been prevented. His grandmother
doated on him with that obstinate and instinctive
affection, which is so often called forth by those
very qualities that render its object hateful or
contemptible in the eyes of the world. As to
old Grip, the dog, he would obey nobody,
follow nobody, fawn on nobody, or bite, or wag
his tail at the bidding of any earthly being, except
the black dwarf Cupid, but on all occasions
condescended to obey the behests of this his
puissant master.

Then came, in due time, Wolfgang Langfanger,
the pottee-baker, Ludwig Varlett, the shoemaker,
who, if he ever heard the old proverb ne
sutor, &c. despised it with all his heart, and Master
Oldale, fat and plump as a barrel of his own
spruce beer, all good men and true, and members
of his Majesty's council in the good town of Elsingburgh.
After the different “how doon ye's”
had been exchanged, and the Heer had given a
full, true, and particular history of his late

fit of the gout, he opened his business, and
Lob Dotterel, who always instinctively attended
on these occasions, was depatched for the Long
Finne. In the mean time, the Heer and his council
lighted their pipes, and took their seats with
most imposing dignity. Master Lob fulfilled
his duty in the twinkling of an eye, and the Long
Finne appeared in the high presence, with pretty
much the same air of indifference as before, and
with a rosy complexion, which puzzled the Heer
not a little, till he resolved the thing into a blush
of conscious guilt.

“Well, henckers knecht,” said the Heer, “have
you come to your senses by this time?”

“I am no henckers knecht,” replied the Long
Finne, “and I have never been mad, all my
life.”

“Der teufel hole dich,” exclaimed the Heer,
waxing wroth; “dost think to brave it out with
me in this manner, der ans dem land gejacter
kerl? Where gottest thou that handful of Mark
Newby's halfpence? answer me that, der teufels
braden.”

“Ask Lob Dotterel,” replied the youth; “he
saw me receive them in change for a rix-dollar,
from a stranger who passed through the village.”

“Der teufel!” exclaimed the Heer, and there-upon
the three members of the council gave a
simultaneous puff extraordinary, expressive of
astonishment.

“Harkye, Lob Dotterel,” said the Heer,
“did'st see the Long Finne receive this money
in change from the stranger?”

“I did,” replied master high constable, who
began to feel his prisoner slipping through his
fingers.

“Verflucht und verdamt!” exclaimed the
Heer, dashing the ashes from his pipe in a mortal
passion; “and why didst not tell me so before,
der galgen schivenkel?”

“'Twant my business,” quoth Lob; “your
excellency always tells me not to put in my oar,
till I am called to speak.”

“Put him to his bible oath,” said the Heer,
who held that, though the oath of a witness was
not necessary to the committing of a person to
jail, yet was it indispensable to his release.
Whereupon Wolfgang Langfanger, the pottee-baker,
pulled out of his breeches pocket, a marvellously
greasy little square book with silver
clasps, which, having first rubbed bright on the
sleeve of his coat, he handed to the Heer. Lob
Dotterel was then incontinently put to his corporal

oath, and confirmed the account which the
prisoner had given of his coming into the possession
of such a quantity of Mark Newby's halfpence.

“Der galgen schivenkel!” exclaimed the Heer,
shaking his crutch at Lob Doterel, who looked
rather sheepish, and, for that matter, so did his
Excellency. However, he gathered himself together,
and forthwith pronounced so discriminating
a judgment on the case, that, had not the
town of Elsingburgh been destroyed long ago,
it would, doubtless, have been remembered to this
day in the traditions of the inhabitants. Mustering
together his recreant, runaway dignity, he
decided, that he should divide his judgment into
two parts. And first, as he, Koningsmarke, sirnamed
the Long Finne, was acquitted of treasonable
practices in regard to the possession of
Mark Newby's halfpence, he should be released
from prison. Secondly, that inasmuch as he had
not been able to give a good account of himself,
and of his motives for coming to the village, he
should be again remanded to jail, on suspicion of
certain designs, which, as yet, did not sufficiently
appear to the satisfaction of his Majesty's government.
The rest of the council signified
their approbation, according to custom, by saying

nothing; for it ought to have been premised that
the Heer Piper, as the representative of majesty,
held, that though bound to consult his council,
he was not bound to pay any attention to
their opinions. In fact, it was his maxim, that a
council was of no other use to a Governor, than
to bear the blame of any unlucky or unpopular
measure.

As Lob Dotterel placed his withering paw
on the shoulder of the Long Finne, that mysterious
and unaccountable youth took occasion to
except to the Governor's assertion that he had
not been able to give a good account of himself.

“If your Excellency is not satisfied, I will
begin again, and give you the history of my
family, from the flood, in which some of my ancestors
were doubtless drowned, to the present
time, when”—

“When,” interrupted the Heer, “one of their
posterity, at least, is in some danger of being
hanged. Begone, der ans dem land gejacter kerl.
Away with him to prison.”

The Long Finne bowed with a sly air of ironical
submission, shrugged his shoulders, and quietly
submitted to the guidance of the high constable
of Elsingburg.