University of Virginia Library

1. CHAPTER I.

The farther we advance in our history, the
more do we perceive the advantages of that extempore
writing, the example of which we have
borrowed from the great modern master of this
exceedingly pleasant and profitable mode of
exercising the fancy and invention, as it were,
at the expense of history. It is wonderful,
with what a charming rapidity the thoughts
flow, and the pen moves, when thus disembarrassed
of all care for the past, all solicitude for
the future. Incidents are invented or borrowed
at pleasure, and put together with a degree
of ease that is perfectly inconceivable by a plodding
author, who thinks before he speaks, and
stultifies himself with long cogitations as to probability,
congruity, and all that sort of thing,
which we despise, as appertaining to our ancient

and irreconcilable enemy, common sense.
It may in truth be affirmed of this new and happy
mode of writing, that it very often happens, that it
causes less trouble to the author than to the
reader, the latter of whom not unfrequently,
most especially if he is one of those unreasonable
persons who suppose that nature and probability
are necessary parts of an historical novel,
will be sorely puzzled to find out the motive of
an action, or the means by which it was brought
about.

But whatever may be the profit of the reader,
certain it is, that of the author is amazingly
enhanced by the increased velocity attained
by this new mode of writing. Certain plodding
writers, such as Fielding, Smollet, and
others, whom it is unnecessary to name, wrote
not above three or four works of this sort in the
whole course of their lives; and what was the
consequence? They lived from hand to
mouth, as it were, for want of a knowledge of
the art of writing extempore; and were obliged
to put up with an immortality of fame, which
they could never enjoy. Instead of making a
fortune in a few years by the power of multiplying
their progeny, they foolishly preferred
to pass whole years in the unprofitable business

of copying nature, and running a wild-goose
chase after probability. Now, we hold that an
author is like a black female slave, valuable for
the rapidity and ease with which she produces
her offspring, which are always worth something
in the market. As to the colour, shape, and
mental qualities of the bantling, these are of
little consequence, provided it is of a good size,
and comes of a well-tried breed.

And here we will take occasion to dilate a
little more copiously upon the great advantages,
which may reasonably be expected from
the apt disposition of the world, to imitate this
mode of writing without plan, and mixing the
opposite ingredients of truth and falsehood.
Books must of necessity multiply so fast, that
every village, and every individual will, after a
year or two from their publication, be able to
purchase a library of them for little or nothing,
as is the case with a vast many popular works,
which in a little time come upon the parish, as it
were, and are sold to whoever will afford them
house-room. Thus will knowledge be wonderfully
disseminated, and every body come to
know, not only what did happen, but also what
did not happen, in the various ages and countries
of the world. Nay, we should not be at all
surprised if, under the increased facilities afforded

by this happy invention of the extempore, every
person should in time become his own author,
and furnish his own library, at the expense of
paper and printing only; and without any trouble
of thought whatever.

We could dilate infinitely on this copious
subject, did we not feel confident that the reader
must be by this time extremely impatient to
pursue our story. We will therefore content
ourselves with expressing a firm belief, that, as
religion and politics are already taught through
the medium of fiction, it will not be long
before the sciences generally, both moral and
physical, will be inculcated in the same manner.
We confidently predict the delightful period
when history will be universally studied through
the medium of impossible adventure, and truth
sweetly imbibed in the fascinating draughts of
improbable fiction; when young people shall
make chemical love, and gain each other's affections
by the inevitable force of lines, tangents,
affinity, and attraction; and when the consummation
of all things shall happen, in young children
being taught their A. B. C. by the alluring and
irresistible temptation of being able to read the
Waverly Novels, instead of appealing to their
low-born appetites through the vulgar medium
of gingerbread letters.