23. CHAPTER XXIII.
WHAT MANNER OF MEN THE TAPPARIANS WERE.
The canoes sailed on. But we leave them awhile. For
our visit to Jiji, the last visit we made, suggests some further
revelations concerning the dental money of Mardi.
Ere this, it should have been mentioned, that throughout
the Archipelago, there was a restriction concerning incisors
and molars, as ornaments for the person; none but great
chiefs, brave warriors, and men distinguished by rare intellectual
endowments, orators, romancers, philosophers,
and poets, being permitted to sport them as jewels. Though,
as it happened, among the poets there were many who had
never a tooth, save those employed at their repasts; which,
coming but seldom, their teeth almost corroded in their
mouths. Hence, in commerce, poets' teeth were at a discount.
For these reasons, then, many mortals blent with the
promiscuous mob of Mardians, who, by any means, accumulated
teeth, were fain to assert their dental claims to distinction,
by clumsily carrying their treasures in pelican
pouches slung over their shoulders; which pouches were a
huge burden to carry about, and defend. Though, in good
truth, from any of these porters, it was harder to wrench
his pouches, than his limbs. It was also a curious circumstance
that at the slightest casual touch, these bags seemed
to convey a simultaneous thrill to the owners.
Besides these porters, there were others, who exchanged
their teeth for richly stained calabashes, elaborately carved
canoes, and more especially, for costly robes, and turbans;
in which last, many outshone the noblest-born nobles. Nevertheless,
this answered not the end they had in view;
some of the crowd only admiring what they wore, and not
them; breaking out into laudation of the inimitable handiwork
of the artisans of Mardi.
And strange to relate, these artisans themselves often
came to be men of teeth and turbans, sporting their bravery
with the best. A circumstance, which accounted for the
fact, that many of the class above alluded to, were considered
capital judges of tappa and tailoring.
Hence, as a general designation, the whole tribe went by
the name of Tapparians; otherwise, Men of Tappa.
Now, many moons ago, according to Braid-Beard, the
Tapparians of a certain cluster of islands, seeing themselves
hopelessly confounded with the plebeian race of mortals;
such as artificers, honest men, bread-fruit bakers, and the
like; seeing, in short, that nature had denied them every
inborn mark of distinction; and furthermore, that their external
assumptions were derided by so many in Mardi, these
selfsame Tapparians, poor devils, resolved to secede from the
rabble; form themselves into a community of their own;
and conventionally pay that homage to each other, which
universal Mardi could not be prevailed upon to render to
them.
Jointly, they purchased an island, called Pimminee, toward
the extreme west of the lagoon; and thither they
went; and framing a code of laws—amazingly arbitrary,
considering they themselves were the framers—solemnly
took the oàth of allegiance to the commonwealth thus established.
Regarded section by section, this code of laws
seemed exceedingly trivial; but taken together, made a
somewhat imposing aggregation of particles.
By this code, the minutest things in life were all ordered
after a specific fashion. More especially one's dress was
legislated upon, to the last warp and woof. All girdles
must be so many inches in length, and with such a number
of tassels in front. For a violation of this ordinance, before
the face of all Mardi, the most dutiful of sons would cut the
most affectionate of fathers.
Now, though like all Mardi, kings and slaves included,
the people of Pimminee had dead dust for grandsires, they
seldom reverted to that fact; for, like all founders of families,
they had no family vaults. Nor were they much encumbered
by living connections; connections, some of them
appeared to have none. Like poor Logan the last of his
tribe, they seemed to have monopolized the blood of their
race, having never a cousin to own.
Wherefore it was, that many ignorant Mardians, who
had not pushed their investigations into the science of physiology,
sagely divined, that the Tapparians must have podded
into life like peas, instead of being otherwise indebted for
their existence. Certain it is, they had a comical way of
backing up their social pretensions. When the respectability
of his clan was mooted, Paivai, one of their bucks, disdained
all reference to the Dooms-day Book, and the ancients.
More reliable evidence was had. He referred the anxious
world to a witness, still alive and hearty,—his contemporary
tailor; the varlet who cut out his tappa doublets, and
rejoiced his soul with good fits.
“Ah!” sighed Babbalanja, “how it quenches in one the
thought of immortality, to think that these Tapparians too,
will hereafter claim each a niche!”
But we rove. Our visit to Pimminee itself, will best
make known the ways of its denizens.
