A CASE OF LIBEL.
“The greater the truth, the worse the libel.”
A certain Sprite, who dwells below,
('Twere a libel, perhaps, to mention where,)
Came up incog., some years ago,
To try, for a change, the London air.
So well he look'd, and dress'd, and talk'd,
And hid his tail and horns so handy,
You'd hardly have known him as he walk'd,
From C---e, or any other Dandy.
(His horns, it seems, are made t'unscrew;
So, he has but to take them out of the socket,
And—just as some fine husbands do—
Conveniently clap them into his pocket.)
In short, he look'd extremely natty,
And ev'n contriv'd—to his own great wonder—
By dint of sundry scents from Gattie,
To keep the sulphurous hogo under.
And so my gentleman hoof'd about,
Unknown to all but a chosen few
At White's and Crockford's, where, no doubt,
He had many post-obits falling due.
Alike a gamester and a wit,
At night he was seen with Crockford's crew,
At morn with learned dames would sit—
So pass'd his time 'twixt black and blue.
Some wish'd to make him an M. P.,
But, finding W*lks was also one, he
Swore, in a rage, “he'd be d---d, if he
“Would ever sit in one house with Johnny.”
At length, as secrets travel fast,
And devils, whether he or she,
Are sure to be found out at last,
The affair got wind most rapidly.
The Press, the impartial Press, that snubs
Alike a fiend's or an angel's capers—
Miss Paton's soon as Beelzebub's—
Fir'd off a squib in the morning papers:
“We warn good men to keep aloof
“From a grim old Dandy, seen about,
“With a fire-proof wig, and a cloven hoof
“Through a neat-cut Hoby smoking out.”
Now,—the Devil being a gentleman,
Who piques himself on well-bred dealings,—
You may guess, when o'er these lines he ran,
How much they hurt and shock'd his feelings.
Away he posts to a Man of Law,
And 'twould make you laugh could you have seen 'em,
As paw shook hand, and hand shook paw,
And 'twas “hail, good fellow, well met,” between 'em.
Straight an indictment was preferr'd—
And much the Devil enjoy'd the jest,
When, asking about the Bench, he heard
That, of all the Judges, his own was Best.
In vain Defendant proffer'd proof
That Plaintiff's self was the Father of Evil—
Brought Hoby forth, to swear to the hoof,
And Stultz to speak to the tail of the Devil.
The Jury (saints, all snug and rich,
And readers of virtuous Sunday papers)
Found for the Plaintiff—on hearing which
The Devil gave one of his loftiest capers.
For oh, 'twas nuts to the Father of Lies
(As this wily fiend is nam'd in the Bible)
To find it settled by laws so wise,
That the greater the truth, the worse the libel!
