SCENE FROM A PLAY, ACTED AT OXFORD, CALLED “MATRICULATION.”
1834.
[Boy discovered at a table, with the Thirty-Nine Articles before him.—Enter the Rt. Rev. Doctor Ph---llp---ts.]
Doctor P.
—There, my lad, lie the Articles—
(Boy begins to count them)
just thirty-nine—
No occasion to count—you've now only to sign.
At Cambridge, where folks are less High-church than we,
The whole Nine-and-Thirty are lump'd into Three.
Let's run o'er the items;—there's Justification,
Predestination, and Supererogation,—
Not forgetting Salvation and Creed Athanasian,
Till we reach, at last, Queen Bess's Ratification.
That's sufficient—now, sign—having read quite enough,
You “believe in the full and true meaning thereof?”
(Boy stares.)
Oh, a mere form of words, to make things smooth and brief,—
A commodious and short make-believe of belief,
Which our Church has drawn up, in a form thus articular,
To keep out, in general, all who're particular.
But what's the boy doing? what! reading all through,
And my luncheon fast cooling!—this never will do.
Boy
(poring over the Articles.)
—Here are points which—pray, Doctor, what's “Grace of Congruity?”
Doctor P.
(sharply).
—You'll find out, young sir, when you've more ingenuity.
At present, by signing, you pledge yourself merely,
Whate'er it may be, to believe it sincerely.
Both in dining and signing we take the same plan,—
First, swallow all down, then digest—as we can.
Boy
(still reading).
—I've to gulp, I see, St. Athanasius's Creed,
Which, I'm told, is a very tough morsel, indeed;
As he damns—
Doctor P.
(aside).
—Ay, and so would I, willingly, too,
All confounded particular young boobies, like you.
This comes of Reforming!—all's o'er with our land,
When people wo'n't stand what they can't understand;
Nor perceive that our ever-rever'd Thirty-Nine
Were made, not for men to believe, but to sign.
[Exit Dr. P. in a passion.
