 | A Fine Companion |  |
Scena V.
Carelesse, Spruse, with one garter vntyed, and a blacke Boxe at his girdle.Spru.
Saue you Master Carelesse.
Care.
Master Spruse you haue much honour'd mee vvith
your presence.
Spru.
I mett vvith a disaster comming vp, something
has ravisht the tassell of my Garter, and discompos'd the
vvhole fabricke, 'tvvill cost mee an houres patience to reforme
it; I had rather haue seene the Common wealth out
of order.
Care.
Sure it was not fast tyed to your leg.
Spru.
As fast together, as the fashion is for friends now
adayes to be tyed, with certaine knots of complement, which
the least occasion dis-joynes. Ile onely tucke it vp, and when
my better leasure permits, reduce it to perfection.
Care.
What box haue you there?
Spru.
A conceit, a conceit, a rare invention one of the happiest
that ever my witt teem'd withall.
Care.
Blesse me with the discovery.
Spru.
You shall sweare to be silent then.
Care.
As close as that covering.
Spru.
Then looke you, I will participate the mystery; this
petty fogging boxe promises that I have great suits in law, this
is to delude the world now: But I must tell you I am a kind
Care.
Very pretty, proceed.
Spru.
What doe you thinke I have in this boxe then?
Care.
I know not.
Spru.
A bundle of blanke loue letters, ready pend with as
much vehemency of affection, as I could get for money, only
wanting the superscription of their names, to whom they
shall be directed, which I can instantly, and with ease indorse
vpon acquaintance.
Care.
And so send them to your Mistresse?
Spru.
You vnderstand mee. I no sooner sall into discourse
with any Lady, but I professe my selfe ardently in loue with
her, and being departed, returne my Boy with one of these
Letters, to second it, as I said passionately deciphering how
much I languish for her. Which shee can not but deepely
apprehend, together with the quicknesse and promptitude of
my ingenuitie in the dispatch of it.
Care.
Ile practise this device. Prethee let mee see one of
them, what's heere? To the fayre hands of—
Spru.
I there wants a name, they fit any degree or person
whatsoever.
Care.
Let mee see this then. To the Lady and Mistresse of
his thoughts, and service.
Spru.
There wants a name too. They are generall things.
Care.
Ile open it by your favour sir, whats heere? Most
resplendent Lady, that may justly bee stiled, the accomplishment
of beautie, the Seat and mansion of all delight, and vertue, in
whom meete the joy, and desires of the happie. Some man
heere perhapps might feare, in praysing your worth, to
heighthen your disdayne, but I am forc'd though to the perill
of my neglect, to acknowledge it: For to this houre my curious
thoughts, and wandering, in the Spheare of feminine perfection,
could never yet finde out a subiect like your selfe, that could so detaine
and commaund my affection.
Spru.
And so it goes on: How doe you like it?
Car.
Admirable good, put them up againe.
Spr.
Nay I haue so strange a wit, few men do jumpe with it.
All my delights are steept in Elegancie,
And censur'd by an Arbitration,
Before I doe approoue them; I haue searche
The rare inventions that I am verst in,
My severall Garbes and Postures of the body,
My rules for banquetting, and entertainment:
And for the titillation of my laughter,
Buffoones and Parasites, for I must tell you,
I still affect a learned luxury.
Car.
You haue a very compleat suit on too me thinkes.
Spr.
Tis as fresh as the morning, and thats the grace on't,
a new Play, and a Gentleman in a new suit, claime the same priviledge,
at their first presentment their estimation is double.
Car.
And whither now doe your employments direct you?
Spr.
I tooke your lodging by the way, I am going to dazell
the eyes of the Ladies with my apparition.
Car.
I am not so conformable as I could wish, or else I
would attend you. I tooke up a new man, for pitties sake,
some three dayes since, to waite upon me, which foolish sinne
I will abandon whilst I liue for it. Hee ran away with two
hundred pounds, the remnant of a morgage, and since that I
was put to a new perplexity to supply me.
Spr.
By this hand, if you had spoke but yesterday I could
haue furnisht you.
Car.
Why what a rare way is here now, to engage a man
for nothing? I must study it.
Spr.
How does your brother digest the losse of his inheritance?
Car.
Very well sure, for sometimes he has nothing else to
digest; and hee has enough of that too: it sticks in his stomacke
worse then a Surfet. Alasse wee landed men are but
fooles to him, it makes him sober, and wise, very temperate.
Spr.
Theres Valeria a foolish peevish thing that he cals
Mistresse, good for nothing but to whet a mans wit, and make
a Whore on, I can't beleeue there's any reall loue betweene
them.
Car.
Has she received any of your Letters?
Spr.
Yes twenty, and nothing will prevaile. I haue sought
to corrupt her any time this twelue moneth, and can doe no
good on her, her father giues me opportunity out of pretence
of good will, but I use it cleane contrary; for alasse, I can
not loue any wench farther then to lye with her. I can not
not willingly loose all this time and labour. I'le make short
of it, either worke her to obedience, or doe her a mischiefe.
Car.
Tis well resolved, and there's her sister Æmilia. She
will glance sometimes affectionately upon me; were it not a
mad thing, when I haue sold all my Land to her father to get
her into advantage? I thinke that will be the end of it.
Spr.
Me thinkes Lackwit her brother might stand thee in
some stead for the conveyance.
Car.
Well tis the truest spaniell that, I put a hundred
jeers upon him, and yet he loues me the better, I can pawne
him as familiarly as my cloake.
Spr.
The time cals upon me.
Car.
Ile dismisse you, will you present my service to the
Ladies and excuse me?
Spr.
I shall bee proud to make my tongue the Organ of
your commands sir.
Car.
I will hold you no longer from your happinesse, but
I shall envie the intercourse of your mirth.
Exeunt.
| A Fine Companion | |