 | A Fine Companion |  |
Scena. V.
Dotario, Littlegood, Æmilia.Dot.
You know father, for I must still call you so, how you
Lit.
Yes marry did I: and to shew a double dutie, as might
suite with the reverence of your age, and honour of her husband.
Dot.
Well, and as soone as you were gone, she had no more
regard to mee, then if I had beene an old horse, or an old Servingman.
Lit.
Why tis impossible shee should transgresse in such a
high poynt of humanity.
Dot.
Else there was some fury in her shape that did so.
I am sure she shapt me out to bee the ridiculousest old asse in
Europe.
Lit.
Her modesty would not permit it in her.
Dot.
If my words haue any weight in them; she set as
light by me, as by the least feather in her Fanne.
Lit.
Why is this true Æmilia?
Æmi.
No indeed sir.
Dot.
How no indeed; doe you deny it? O palpable, shee
reckond up a whole Catalogue of abuses, and malicious practises,
that she would assault me with, if I were her husband,
the least of which were aboue all patience.
Æmi.
Doe you thinke sir, if I intended any such thing, I
would haue forewarned you?
Lit.
No tis not likely.
Dot.
That you had but heard the disgrace she put upon me,
in calumniating the vigour, and ability of my person.
Lit.
I cannot beleeue it.
Dot.
And then terrified me, that the wind of her humour
should be still against me, to crosse me in every thing I desired,
yet the course of my destiny should be more impetuous then
before.
Æmi.
The old Gentleman did but dreame so.
Dot.
Nay more, she said I was an old dry stumpe, that had
not the least drop of moisture in me, yet by the vertue of her
humidity, shee would make my temples so supple, that they
should sprout, and bud a fresh.
Lit.
Come she would not say so.
Dot.
Yes, and that all my estate should bee too little, to
maintaine her in prodigality, and invite acquaintance.
Alasse good Gentleman, I told him how other women
vsed their husbands, but I would conforme my selfe to
obedience.
Lit.
I, that you might know what a blessing you had in her.
Dot.
Oh was it so? I cry you mercy, I mistooke you.
Here take this Pearle for amends; I am sorry I haue sinned
against so sweet a simplicity.
Lit.
Come I knew you were in an error.
Dot.
Then to avoyd all cavillation hereafter, see what I
haue provided.
Lit.
What haue you there?
Dot.
I haue here a Syngtaphus, a writing with articles, that
must be drawn between us, before there can be any copulation.
Lit.
Wherefore did you so?
Dot.
Looke you sir, I was in a little suspense of her behaviour,
and therefore in relation of that, which I thought she
objected, yet has since proved to be otherwise: notwithstanding
these rules, which may so much conduce to my happinesse,
and haue beene so much advis'd upon with deliberation,
I would haue establish't.
Lit.
Pray lets heare them.
Dot.
They are onely some few propositions, and exceptions
to bee observed on her behalfe, for the better security of
my quiet, when I shall be married to her.
Lit.
Now I conceiue you, reade them out.
Dot.
First, that after Hymen has once joyned us together,
she shall admit of no man whatsoever, to intitle him with any
suspitious name of friend, or servant: doe you marke me.
Lit.
Well proceed.
Dot.
Next, if any of her old acquaintance come to visit
her, as Nurses, Midwifes, and the like, creatures of secresie,
she shall returne them word, she is not within, or otherwise
accommodated.
Lit.
Very good.
Dot.
Ile haue it written so upon the doores.
Lit.
You may perceiue by her silence, shee will consent to
any thing.
Dot.
Then to avoyd all occasions of writing Epistles, she
shall receiue none, nor haue any Paper, Pen, Inke, or Waxe in
her closet.
Lit.
That's somewhat hard.
Shee shall not haue any masculine bawdy Picture
hang in her Chamber, but shall take it downe, and sell it away
as a thing unprofitable, and an inticement of phantasie.
Lit.
That in my conceit is very reasonable.
Dot.
She shall bid no man to dinner, but I will invite them,
and when they are set, shee shall not cast amorous glances upon
them, nor drinke to them, nor licke her lips at them, nor
shew her teeth when she laughs, nor her tongue when shee
sneezes.
Lit.
For all these, ile engage my selfe.
Dot.
Besides, she shall not take upon her, to contrary me
in any thing, nor seeme more or lesse wise then my selfe.
Lit.
That's not much amisse neither.
Dot.
Shee shall send no Hierogliphicks, nor meate cut in
Characters, nor tread upon any mans foote under the Table,
nor when they are risen, giue them her hand to kisse, or open
her palme to haue her fortune told her, nor yet shew them her
ring, or receiue any of theirs, and read the poesies.
Lit.
Is this all?
Dot.
She shall know no lauguage but her owne, nor speake
any equivocating word.
Lit.
In my mind now these lawes are very consonant to a
good disposition, and if I were to marry my selfe, I'de propose
the like.
Dot.
And for her religion, she may pray to any innocent
goddesse, as Diana and the graces, but if she haue any thing
to say to Mars, Mercury, or Apollo, she shall acquaint mee
with it, and I will present her devotions.
Lit.
Haue you done now?
Dot.
Last of all, when she is ready to goe to bed, she shall
not put out the candle to walke up and downe in her smocke,
and shake her body in the darke, and if she be content, I take
her as my owne.
Lit.
All these she shall subscribe to, if shee be my daughter.
Dot.
Why then weele proceed to the Church:
Lit.
Are you agreed or no?
Æmi.
Pray let me speake one word with him in private.
Dot.
Yes what you please sweet Lady, it is granted; were
it a hundred pound to buy pins and petticoats.
Tis not a thing Sir, of that deare expense:
Though you were pleasd to tax me for that crime,
'Tis onely this, time was, I could not loue you;
Though reason since, has rectified my iudgement,
And clear'd my eyes, that I can see my good.
Then I confesse I made a solemne oath,
None should enioy my loue; but he that durst
Attempt to steale mee; this is not intended,
For any perill to you, but for safeguard
Of my first vow, which I must needs performe.
Now if you please to come at a set houre,
None but your selfe, and fetch mee, I will yeeld
To goe with you, whither you shall command.
Dot.
'Tis done bright Hellen, I will be thy Paris,
And fetch thee, though thou wer't at Lacedemon,
And care not a pinne, for all the power of Greece.
Lit.
What are you agreed?
Dot.
Yes, wee are both agreed.
Some few ceremonies, and then wee haue finish.
Exunt.
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