 | A Fine Companion |  |
Scena V.
Fido, Carelesse disguised, Captaine.Cap.
Gentleman you are very welcome. What Hostesse,
come hither good Hostesse.
Enter Hostesse.
Fid.
You haue a good handsome Hostesse, I perceiue
Captaine.
Cap.
She is cleanly and good condition'd that's my comfort;
and by the power of beauty, if a man were combustide, hee
might find in her eyes, that would kindle a conflagration.
Host.
What Gentlemen be these Captaine?
Cap.
Peace good Hostesse, I would not willingly proclaime
their disgrace: one of them is a Gentleman, that I bastinadoed
the other day; and now he is come to giue me a Supper, to
be reconcil'd to me, but take you no notice.
Fid.
Captaine here is a friend, that I would willingly commend
to your acquaintance.
Cap.
Sir as I am a true souldier, I embrace your loue in
him, and thats as much as I can say. Hostesse these are not
ordinary guests with you; therefore you must be respectfull:
and faith if you say the word Gentlemen, one of these nights,
wee'l every man procure as many of our acquaintance as we
can, and be merry here at Supper for crownes a peece. What
thinke you?
Fid.
This is not the busines wee come about sir.
Cap.
I know it well enough. Hostesse, prethee good
sweet, honey Hostesse, step and buy us a joynt or two of good
meate, and a Capon, and lay it to the fire presently.
Host.
Where's the money?
Cap.
Death to my honour, doe not question it, but doe as
I bid you.
Host.
I haue not six-pence in the world, the Cobler had all
I had, for mending of your boots.
Cap.
Goe you must make shift, and get more then.
Host.
Why if these Gentlemen come to bestow a Supper
on you, let them giue me money aforehand.
Cap.
Speake lower woman, art mad?
Host.
I tell you I haue not a penny in the house.
Speake lower I say. Goe borrow it of thy neighbours,
Ile see it payd.
Host.
Yes and turne mee behind the dore for my reckoning;
You haue serv'd me so I know not how often, no I haue trusted
you too much already: you haue not payd me a penny for
your lodging, since you came to my house, besides what I
haue lent you out of my purse.
Cap.
Bane to my credit, you will exile mee beyond the
Confines of reputation: goe pawne some Pewter, or one of
thy brasse pots. S'light doe not disgrace mee, doe any thing
rather, take the sheets off from my bed.
Host.
Yes, you care not what becomes of any thing. Why
can you not aske them for money?
Cap.
S'life, a man may plot till his heart ake, and you still
seeke to crosse mee, you will vndoe me in my designes.
Host.
You haue more signes in your head, then hang at all
the Alehouses in towne againe.
Cap.
Prethee woman, heare mee what I say. I know they
come to spend vpon mee, and will crouch, and doe any
thing, yet when I out of my noblenesse, and beyond expectation,
shall vse them so curteously, 'twill be such an ingagement,
that I can borrow ten or twenty peeces of them at my
pleasure.
Host.
I tell you I can not doe it, nor I will not.
Cap.
Faith Gentlemen I must entreat you to excuse mee,
my Hostesse is not very well shee tells mee, and I thinke shee
is not so well stor'd with necessaries to entertaine you, as I
could wish; and indeed shee has nere a spitt in the house,
therefore wee'l deferr it till to morrow night, when 'twill
be more convenient at a Taverne.
Fid.
Well sir, your excuse shall prevaile, wee are not inexorable
vpon extremity.
Cap.
In his you haue wonne mee to your observance
for ever.
Fid.
Captaine I haue another thing to propound to you,
heere is a friend of mine has lately receiu'd injury from one
Gentleman is so apprehensiue of his disgrace, that he can not
possible put it vp with safety of his reputation, and therefore
desires to haue it determined in plaine field. Now as hee is informed,
his adversary accepts of it, and has chosen you for
his patron in the quarrell.
Cap.
By the shine of Phœbus, I wonder what strange impudence
has possest him. As I am a man to honour, I haue
brought him successiuely off from a hundred of these, to the
perrill of my life, and yet am dayly obnoxious to new assaults
for him.
Fid.
Then you disclaime to haue any hand in the action.
Cap.
By the passion of valour, Gentlemen Ile tell you, I
loue a noble imployment with my life, but for such a pittifull,
drunken, shallow coxcombe, I hate to be seene in such a businesse.
Fid.
Doe you thinke no better of him, Captaine? if he
be so vnworthy, I would advise you not to meddle with him.
Cap.
By the faith of a Soldier, if he haue any care of his
credit, let him not deale with him, he will but defile himselfe
with such an abject: I hold him to be so poore condition'd, I
would not enter a Countrey Gentleman vpon him.
Fid.
Yet you keepe him company, Captaine.
Cap.
I confesse I haue done, and my intendments were
good in it; I saw him so raw, and young, I was induc'd to
beleeue there might be some hopes of him: but after much
impulsion, when I found him so vnapt, and indocile in his
owne nature, I gaue him lost, and so I esteeme of him, by
my life.
Carelesse puts off his disguise.
Car.
Oh thou trecherous villaine, dost thou betray mee
to my selfe, and belye mee to my face? how many quarrels
haue you brought mee off from?
Cap.
Never none by Ioue.
Car.
I will not raile at you, but I will cudgell you, and
kicke you, you man of valour.
Cap.
Hold as thou art a man of renowne, thou wilt strike
thy foote into mee else, my body is as tender as a bogg.
Thou cowardly perfidious rascall: haue I for this
made thee my associate, payd for thy swaggerings, and breaking
of Tapsters, and Ostlers pates, fed thee at a charge a
man might haue built an Hospitall; drencht thee with Sacke,
and Tobacco, as thy face can witnesse?
Cap.
Oh hold as thou art worshipfull.
Car.
Come sir surrender your robes, that you haue polluted
with cosenage. Here Fido, take this hat and cloake: I
will not leaue him a covering for his knavery: these are the
trophies of your treachery, these.
Cap.
Nay good sir doe not pillage mee of all, stay till I get
my owne againe.
Car.
If Lackwit will restore them he may, else you must resolue
to goe bareheaded before your right worshipfull fortune,
with a truncheon in your hand like a Verger, and so I
leaue you. Come Fido now for my Mistresse.
Cap.
Well, those good qualities that are bred in a man,
will never out of him thats my comfort.
Ile seeke a better and more thriving trade.
| A Fine Companion | |