University of Virginia Library

1863

January 1, Thursday-New Years Day 1863.

Bright and beautiful over head. The past year has been one of peculiar trials to me; I feel that it has been a turning point in my life. In the last twelve months I have been under the rod. I have lost the brother of my heart and there have been called upon to say farewell to the pet Sister and the darling Brother for I know not how long but in these trials there is hope left me. What troubles me most is that the voice of slander should have been raised against me and that friends who I believed true should have turned away. This comes of loving too well earthly mould. Oh, will I ever learn the lesson not to love and trust frail human nature so far? It seems that years do not make me any wiser. But I've a Friend of Friends still left me who I know will never desert though earthly friends should fail and may these trials make me look more to Him. I ought not to look for too much sympathy and love on earth. There are those who do love me and I feel I can trust, those of my dear home, but there were others of whose friendship I was vain and anxious to keep but they have but added proof to the wisdom of the "Wise Man" that all is vanity and vexation of spirit. May this year be spent in thinking less of earthly friendships and making more of a friend of my Heavenly Father. What a saddening thought comes to me when I remember how little I have done in His cause during the past year.

"Hark! hear a secret whisper say
Each night where hast thou glanced today?
What kindness hath by thee been shown?
What hast thou gathered for Thine own?
What pearl of wisdom hast thou found?
What blessing freely scattered round?
Oh, happy if thy soul hath brought
An a ephemeral home of winnowed though.

I feel that the winnowed thought has been but small. Oh, may another year find me nearer my God even though it be a cross that hast brought me. A New Year's Gift in the mail in the form of a letter from my darling little Sister. It was left in town by Jabe who added a line to tell me he was on his way to Richmond. It seems the day after he got to Jackson, orders came for all Surgeons in Mississippi to report to the Surgeon General in Richmond. It seems very hard for Jabe but he fares no worse then the others. He hopes to get back to Mississippi. Little Sis remains as she hopes to get to Cousin Bab and Jabe thinks he can go right back. Sally says people are much excited South. They have no confidence in [Earl] Van Dorn and many say they will not fight under him. The enemy have such a large part of the state that many of the people have no homes and those who are still in the possession of them think it will only be for a short time for they believe the state will be overrun this winter but Jeff Davis and General Johnston have gone out now and I hope they may do something to inspire the people with more confidence. Jabe tells me he will either see me or write in a few days. Cousin Bab and her family have had to run to Calhoun County where they are living in a cabin but she sends Sally word there is room for her so the little Sister concluded to go to cousin Bab and let Jabe come to Virginia by himself hoping he may be sent right back. The little woman says she missed me so much. Lydia leaves us Saturday. Dave goes with her. Maggie quite sick with dyptheria. Dr. Nelson sent for.

Jan. 4-10

We go to church and hear Mr. Slaughter from the text "God is Love"...a sermon from which those who are now passing under the Rod may find much to comfort them. When we get in from church find Mary Lewis has dyptheria. She is not very ill. Monday Cousin Lou comes to us and is the comfort she always is at such times. Poor little Maggie is very ill. Her throat is so swollen she can scarcely breath and the remedies used are so severe and disagreeable. We are very unhappy about her. I don't feel as if I could cheerfully give up Mag, she is so dear to me. Tuesday Harriet [a slave woman] is taken down. No more cases until Thursday when Ellen is taken sick but it is a very slight case and I hope by being taken in time it will soon be well. Wednesday night Mary Lewis was very sick. Her worse symptom is weakness. How I wish Sue was at home. Well, Sue comes Friday. She is much comfort to us all. Dr. Nelson is a nice gentleman and I expect a good doctor but we have to try him yet. He comes every day. Maggie does not think she will get well. The dear child prays so earnestly and talks so much about dying. She says she would like to live but if it is God's will she is ready and I believe she is. It gives me much comfort to hear the dear child repeating the Psalms and Hymns that I've taught her. I little thought when they were committed to memory they would serve to console her dying bed. I have often felt discouraged about Maggie. She never expressed any opinion about anything taught her but it seems the seed fell upon good ground and my work was not in vain. I shall try and have more faith and believe that any work done for my Master is never lost, though in many instances we may be "many days in finding it." The dear child suffers so much and it is truly distressing to hear her prayers to be gone. A letter from Sally, from Grenada [Mississippi.]

Jan. 11-17

Sunday [Maggie] is more comfortable and we have much hope for her ....Mary Lewis is mending slowly. Maggie's throat much better, but there are some other unfavorable signs now. Her whole body is much swollen. Still we believe her better. Mr. Nelson [the minister] comes to see her and reads and prays with her.

Jan. 18-24

We are all in better spirits for we think the invalids are better. Nannie has dyptheria but is not very sick ....Monday evening dear little Maggie begins to sink. She is very low all night. About 3 o'clock in the night we all gather around her bed to see her die. She tells us she is perfectly willing to go and she knows God will take her. A short time before she breathed her last, she told Sue she saw some Angels waiting for her; with her last breath repeated hymns and expressed her perfect trust in her Saviour. Just before 4 o'clock AM her spirit took its flight for that "schooless shore." It is a hard trial giving up my pet, for I did love her best. Ma feels it so much for Mag was her favorite too. She said to me, "We have both lossed our darling, Lou." But we sorrow only for ourselves, for Maggie is far better off than she was with us.

"She is not dead, the child of our affections
But gone into that school
Where she no longer needs our poor protection,
And Christ himself doth rule."

Oh, that her death may be sanctified to each and all of us. May we consider it a warning sent by our Heavenly Father to remind us that we too must die. Oh! That we may live so that in death we may find Him! She is "put away" in the little grave yard on Thursday, 22nd, a cold damp day. Mr. Meade is with us, also Mr. Nelson. They sing the hymn she was so fond of repeating, "I would not live all way." Some few friends were with us and their sympathy was sweet but Oh, what a void in our home and hearts. "A shadow on the household rests and memory and sorrow come." Mary Lewis and Nanny are both getting on very well. Ellen does not improve as we hoped she would ....John tells us Jabe's business to Richmond was to appear as a witness at a Court Martial and that he expected to go back South. I'm so troubled not to hear from him; believe he has written but the mails are so uncertain there is no saying what has become of it. I write a long letter to little Sis on the 16th. Had a letter from Jabe on Friday from Raleigh, N.C. at which place he has been sent to examine conscripts. He expects to go back to Mississippi as soon as he gets through this work. He expected to have spent a week with me but was hurried off from Richmond at two hours notice ....Mammy Eliza and Ellen quite poorly with dyptheria. Mary Lewis and Nan getting quite smart.

Jan. 25-31

Very quiet time. Two new cases this week, Dick and Dave. Neither of them sick enough to go to bed. A kind note from Lizzie Dee. She offers to come and help us nurse. Such offers are scarce now [as] everyone seems afraid of the disease and I can't think hard of them for it as it is a terrible sickness ....

Feb. 1-7

We do not attend church. Dick very poorly this week; the rest are getting well again. I'm teaching school very regularly. Oh, how my heart aches for Maggie; books, lessons bring her so freshly to mind.

Feb. 8-14

A letter from Lydia. She tells me someone saw her Uncle Jabe on the cars going South so I suppose I'm not to see him ....A call from Bob; he has left the Light Horse and has joined Carrington's [Artillery] Battery. Little Dick is very ill. I'm so troubled about him. Sue leaves this week. We are sorry to see her go.

Feb. 15-21

Another quiet Sunday. Met taken with Dyptheria. Hope he may not be very sick. Uncle Hatter plasters up the room this week making it much more comfortable ....[Letters written.] I'm very poorly with an old fashioned cold. Can't get up a dyptheria. On Monday there was a change for the better in Dick and we hope he is now in a fair way to get well. Dear little fellow, we could ill have spared him. Feb. the 18th is Ash Wednesday; another Lent begins. Will its close find me more patient, more faithful, more diligent in the performance of my duties? With God's help it shall. Saturday move round to Ma's room taking tables, books, pictures, etc with me. I don't enjoy the change but believe I could make Ma more comfortable so I though I ought to come. Have a visit in the evening from little Dick. The first time he has been out of his sick room. The little fellow seemed so delighted to be with us again ....

Feb. 22-28

The "Do" of last Sunday. I'm interested in Cumming's On The Morales: A Struggle with Self. I'm conqueror!!! ....Wednesday a letter from Bob. Such a long long time since my heart has been made glad by such a sight. Well, I have not written in vain. I felt he would at sometime do me justice and think better of me. Hope and Wait-may it ever be my watchword. Have a nice long walk on Friday, the first for a long time. Saturday have the box bushes trimmed. A great improvement ....How many deaths we hear of round us. yet strange we lay it not to heart ....

March 1-7

Sunday the first day of Spring; rainy in the morning but a bright day. Some sad little crocus in bloom. They tell of bright days to come ....[Letters written and received.] .... [Sally] tells me she has not had a word from me of any one in Virginia since she left. The dear little woman seems so troubled not to hear from me; says she thinks so much about me. She is with Cousin Bab and seems satisfied except being separated from Jabe. He is still in N.C. so Lydia was mistaken ....[She] seems to regret much she did not come back with him. Thinks if they ever get together again she will never leave him. Tells me Jabe has heard of a brother and nephew in the Southern Army which pleases him much .... Dave leaves us for his regiment on Wednesday ....His brigade is now at Culpepper Court House and it is thought they are in route for the [Shenandoah] Valley. The day after he leaves we have a visit from Mr. Knight from Missouri who came on purpose to see Dave, being an old friend. He wants to get Dave off from the Army in Virginia and take him back to Missouri with him. I'm so sorry Dave missed him [but] I'm not anxious for him to take Dave away. Mr. Knight belongs to the Army in Arkansas but he could give me quite a lot of news of my friends in Missouri. Tells me brother Peter is still "in the brush" and has become an expert dodger. If the Feds could only catch him he would swing. The only mode of warfare practiced there now is bush whacking and it tells on the traitors too. He thinks Missouri is all right if she ever has a chance to be heard fairly. I hope so. Says a lot of our blood kin are right in spirit. Sam Eastin [her niece's husband] is with General Price in Mississippi. Little Sam Minor [Louisa's nephew], when he last heard from him, was prisoner in the house of the Feds and in the Penitentiary in Jefferson City; a Yankee Prison.

March 8-14

No church. I'm reading a memoir of Dr. Johnson. Monday go up to Rugby. Mr. Brown and I settle all about the darkies. Find that Susan [Louisa's slave woman who she hired out] has lost her little baby. It has never been healthy. Sister Betty has some Irish boarders, a Mrs. 0'Conner and her mother ....They are refugees from New Orleans ....Treat my self to some new books ....Tip [a dog] has been hung for sheep killing.

March 15-21

Still not able to go to church ....We hear Sue is better. I've felt very uneasy about her. [Sue is pregnant.]....Dave turns up. He was in the last Cavalry fight in Culpepper on the 17th; had his horse killed under him [and] got his wrist badly hurt so he is disabled for a time. He ought to feel thankful that he came off so well. At one time he was a prisoner in the hands of the Yanks but was so fortunate as to escape from them and also took from them a fine war charger-an Old Campaigner too, having belonged to the old United States Cavalry service. I'm so glad Dave has the horse as he will not need to depend on a certain true? friend ....Dave brings us some Yankee coffee which we enjoy with Daddy's birthday dinner.

March 22-28

A bright day. Monday morning about four o'clock old Uncle Peter died. Poor old man. It was in mercy that he was called home by the One who does all things right. Life to him for the last six months has been "labor and sorrow" by reason of years and he was not only willing but anxious to be gone. I believe he was a Christian and has now gone to his reward. Uncle Peter was a very old man-near a hundred the old ones think. He has been a good faithful servant and ever a firm friend of mine. I wrote his wife, Aunt Mary, a long letter telling her all the particulars of his death ....Wednesday the 25th Ma's birthday-70 years old today; the three score and ten of the scriptures and is still an active old woman and enjoys good health. May God spare her to me for a long time yet. Numerous notes from Music Hall. I've concluded to go with Dave in the cars Saturday. Working in the garden. Friday the 17th is a Fast Day we go to church and hear Mr. Meade....Saturday a bad day so I can't go to Music Hall.

March 29-April 4

No church. We are all much troubled to hear that Sue is no better. Wish much some of the family could go down to see her. Feel troubled too about Dick. He does not seem to get his strength; has constant pains in his limbs. It is the effects of dyptheria, I suppose. I wrote Sue a letter. Had one from Jabe to my joy. He is still in N.C. and has had quite a tramp around the Old North State looking after conscipts. He has sent me several letters but they have never come to hand. Seems to be hurt that I would allow myself to think he would pass on his way home without taking a peep at me. His work in N.C. is now finished and he will be ordered off in a week or so somewhere else. Mississippi he hopes and then if he has to come to Richmond will see me. He hears but seldom from the little woman; seems troubled in mind about her. Hope much they may soon be together again. Sam sends me an autograph letter of General Lee's which I shall put in my Old Curiosity Shop ....I believe he really cares for me and does not look upon me only as a trouble. On, dear me, I'm getting to such an unpopular age that I must feel shy of asking favors of boys particularly .... Dave had put me off Monday so I'm still at home. I'm busy with nothing-making scrapbooks, reading, knitting and sewing a little ....Wednesday April lst I get to Sister Mary's. Find Sally Williamson there ready for me. I'm so glad to see her once more. A warm welcome from Sister Mary, the two nieces and all. They seem glad to see me. Find Bob Lewis with them. News!!! A love affair in the making. I'm surprised and pleased. I'm taken into the confidences of all parties. Sister Mary and I discuss Lydia's affairs. Think she has made a fortunate escape. Capt. B.B. of Company H will be caught yet if he don't mind ....Good Friday the 3rd we go to church but I'm not able to hear anything [being much afflicted with deafness.] . Saturday Nannie and Tom Page and the baby, little Ella arrive. We have quite a houseful of pleasant people ....

April 5-11

Easter Sunday-snowing hard and very cold. We have a pleasant happy day. The Bishop at Grace Church on the 8th. He gives us a beautiful sermon ....The old feeling of loneliness now takes hold upon me. How my heart fills with thoughts of my darling little Sister. Oh, that I could see her!!! Sister Mary is so kind and good to me. Seems to know how much I miss my little Sister. Sister Mary and I call to see cousin Peggie and Charlotte. There has been a sad void made in both their home circles since I last visited them, the heads of both families gone ....[Other visits made with Aunt Sally and cousin Sarah at The Creek.]

April 12-18

A sad anniversary to me. This day one year ago I saw my dear Brother [James Minor] breathe his last. Oh, that long, long weary day and with all that heavy weight upon my heart I could not realize then what my loss would be. Thank God I'm stronger now. Peace has come to my heart for I can feel that all is well. A sad, calm and I may almost say a happy Sunday. Go to church and hear Mr. Boyden from the text "Do this in remembrance of me" and then we gather around the holy table and have our spirits refreshed by that rich banquet of His flesh and blood. Sister Mary at church for the first time since her widowhood. Letter from home this week. Nanny was confirmed on the 11th-Easter Sunday. On that she may have well counted the cost and firmly resolved in her mind to make all needful sacrifices to Him under whose banners she has now enrolled herself ....Thursday I get home. Oh, I'm so happy. I did want to see Ma so much. A long letter from Sally. She is still with Cousin Bab. Dear little Sister, she seems to be pining to see me. I send her a long letter-intended it as an answer to one Aunt Sally had had from her. Get the garden all finished this week, it looks so nice.

April 19-25

Hear a new preacher, a Mr. McGill....A good sermon....Making up my home made cotton dress. A letter from Jabe. He is still in N.C. He thinks there is a chance for his being with me in a few days....

April 26-May 2

At church and hear such a beautiful sermon from Mr. Williams of Leesburg. Subject "The Hidden Talent."....In town on Saturday and hear the Yankees are at Trevilians Depot. They are nearer to us then they have ever been before. Makes me feel anxious....

May 3-9

We start to church but hear on our way that a dispatch has come saying we may look out for the Yanks during the day. They have left Travilians and it is supposed they intend to try and burn the Rail Road Bridges. [This incident is called Stoneman's Raid.] We send Met back in haste; he is on horseback. We also turn back. When we get home find them busy packing away the horses, guns and silver. Spend an anxious day. The whole country seems to be alive. It is determined to defend the Bridges but at night all is quiet as no Yankees have come. They are aiming for some other point. Tuesday Lucy, Sally and John Robertson come in very unexpectedly. They were running from the Yanks; were at their uncle's in Louisa and the horse gave out so they stopped with us and spend the night. We also have a soldier to stay all night and he proved a very pleasant gentleman. Tuesday morning another alarm of Yanks. Dave goes off and stays for two days and a night. Don't believe we are to have a sight of them here. They seem to be partial to the "State of Flee" for whenever we have heard of their whereabouts in the last few days they have always been in the place. Last Saturday and Sunday, May 3 & 4, 1863, we fought the Yankees in Spotsylvania County [Chancellorsville Campaign] and gained a great victory but it was at the expense of our great Old Jackson's left arm. Thank God it was no worse. These are exciting times. The band of Yanks that have come in upon us from Trevilians have spread a panic on all the region round about. They have been to Ashland and destroyed quite an amount of stores besides damaging the rail road. We hear reports of their doings in all directions but many of these rumors are no doubt false though I believe they are capable of any kind of cruelty and meanness and will only be prevented from committing their lawless work by want of time. It is said that Mr. Divers, the old music teacher of Charlottesville, is an officer in this band of Feds ....Friday the 8th a large part of the Hampton Legion pass down the road; another fight brewing. Reading some of Scott's novels, Redgauntlet and St. Ronans's Well. They are old acquaintances. Finished Good's Book of Nature, it was both interesting and profitable. Have commenced Ferguson's Rome ....

May 10-16

Do not go to church-roads too bad. Monday the 11th News. A great man has fallen! The great and good Jackson is no more. He died on Sunday the l0th at past three o'clock PM. With our weak faith and short sight it is hard for us to feel it is well and that we can do without him at such a time but God knows best and may He not think we are trusting too much in that "Arm of Flesh" forgetting that our Jackson was but a tool in His hands and for that reason He thought right to take him from us to remind us what we leant on and bring us back to look only to Him. It will in His own good time raise up others to us to free us from our enemies. General Jackson was a good Christian and has now gone to his reward. He has fallen in a good cause. His life for the last two years has been one of toil and tempest but he's at rest now where the wicked cease from troubling. No sound can awake him to glory again. A letter from little Sis. She is still looking or rather hoping for Jabe. Is still with Cousin Bab. Write to both her and Sue and also to Jabe. A letter from Lydia. She tells me Caroline [a slave woman at Music Hall] is dead. Sister Mary is so unfortunate. Henry Lewis calls to see us. Great excitement about corn. The government takes a good deal of Daddy's.

May 17-23

Do not go to church; am too unwell. Henry Lewis to dinner ....[Letters written.] I'm very poorly with my nose cold. In my room most of the week, such a bad cold ....Bad news from our Army in Mississippi. It is said we have been badly whipped between Jackson and Vicksburg. Oh, if I could only hear from Sally and Jabe.

May 24-30

Too poorly for church ....Jimmy Lewis calls Tuesday tells us he has a fine boy some two days old. A letter from Bob-says he has been doing some march lately that would do credit to Jackson's Foot Cavalry. Is still near Ginney's . Also a letter from Sue. She tells me of General Ewell's marriage to Mrs. Brown [Lizinka Campbell Brown.] Says she has seem a map of Stoneman's raid and that Charlottesville is marked one of the points they visited. Still very poorly with my cold; never knew it to be so bad before.

May 31-June 6

At church and hear Mr. Meade from....an old sermon. A new cousin to see us today. He is from Louisiana and is named Marks and is Kin through the Meriwethers. He belonged to Taylor's old Brigade [General Richard Taylor's Louisiana's Brigade.] He was disabled by a wound in the wrist and is now unfit for service. He seems a nice little fellow; is quite handsome and talks well.

Mr. Macon and Charlotte to dine with us on Monday. Mr. M. pays me the interest on cousin Tom Meriwether's bond [which was part of the estate of brother Jim Minor and had apparently been given to Louisa for her support.]....wrote to Jabe and Bob. I had a letter from Jabe on Sunday. He is still in N.C.; still hoping to get off and to see me on his way home. Says his work in N.C. will certainly soon be finished but where they will send him then he can't say. I'm getting much better of my cold .... [Letters written and visitors call.]

June 7-13

Willie Meade preaches ....Go after church home with sister Betty ....A letter from Sally. She has had to run from Calhoun. Is now in Grenada with an old Missouri friend. Hope Jabe may soon get to her or send for her to come to where he is. Saturday such a tribe of town girls to dinner. The cherries were the attraction no doubt. A great hue and cry raised against the cats for killing Turkeys which end in all being sent off but Tittums. I beg for him.

June 14-20

Hear Mr. Meade [preach.]....Sue, John, Helen and cousin Ann get up on Saturday. Cousin Ann is so changed in looks. Poor woman, hers is a heavy heart now ....Thursday Jabe comes in just at dinner time very unexpectedly. Oh, how happy I am! Wonder if I would love my own brothers any better if I could see them. He is so affectionate towards me. I believe he does care a good deal for me. He is very hopeful about going South. If he is not sent then he will send right off for Sally. We talk over family affairs. Are both highly indignant at the conduct of one whose behavior is outrageous. Jabe gives me some interesting particulars of his sojourn down in North Carolina ....

June 21-27

At church and have such a beautiful sermon from Bishop Gilmer ....A new sermon and a very fine one too. A letter from Lydia. She wants to come up. John leaves Monday morning. Wednesday Jabe and I go down to see Sister Mary. Carry Annie a big doll. She is so pleased. We return again on Friday after taking a peep at Aunt Sally and Cousin Fannie Hart. I'm introduced to the young rebel-Alice's baby. He is Jimmy [Lewis] in miniature ....Much excitement about Yankee raids. We hear Richmond is in danger from a force which is coming up by The Peninsula. They have really burnt the bridge across the South Anna River on the Central Rail Road. Expected Prissie, Mac and Emily up on Saturday but they did not come. Don't know whether the weather, it was a bad day, or Yankees stopped them ....

June 28-July 4

Sunday a bad day. Jabe goes tomorrow ....We are all much excited by the war news. Hear Richmond is threatened again. The Yanks think Lee and his warriors are so far off now they can easily whip us. They had better try. Monday say good bye to Jabe. A heavy weight he is on my heart. When am I to see him again and will I ever get with my darling little sister again? Wait and Hope! Prissie Pemberton comes on Tuesday with her two little babes. Mac is quite poorly. The last of the week have a letter from Jabe. Tells me he is in luck; has been ordered to report at Jackson, Mississippi, so I hope he may soon be with Sally now ....

July 5-11

At church but am too late to hear the text. Get home in a rain ....Sue and Co. did not get off today, Monday, as they expected as there is a report of a Yankee raid on the railroad ....A blue week we have; such bad news from all around. Vicksburg fell on the 4 July so all our hopes of peace from that quarter are nipped in the bud. Early in the week we get news of a great victory gained by General Lee at Gettysburg in Pennsylvania on the lst, 2nd and 3rd of July but later in the week we hear our Army has fallen back and it turns out one of those victorys in which a great deal of glory is gained but nothing more lasting. Our loss is very great; so many from around here have fallen. Among them are George Geiger, Bennet Taylor, Peter Minor and others. There is hope for some of them yet as many of our wounded were left in the Yankee lines. They may come to hand yet. How many many sad hearts are around us. It is hard to bear these sorrows with a proper spirit but it seems that God sees it necessary to cross us. We have been too puffed up with out continued successes of late. The Mac's leave us Saturday. The house seems so empty when they leave. I take solace in Bulwer ....

July 12-18

At church and hear Mr. William Nelson .... Rainy weather and bad news. Such sad accounts of the slaughter of our poor men in Pennsylvania .... On Saturday we hear General Lee has crossed the Potomac and is again on Virginia soil with his Army. About ten o'clock Saturday night Dave comes in-brings two other soldiers with him. We are all real glad to see Dave once more. He gives us some hope of George Geiger, but thinks Peter Minor and Bennet Taylor are certainly dead.

July 19-25

At church and hear Mr. Meade....Some bright weather at last; fear it is too late to save the wheat crop. It is nearly all ruined by the long spell of hot weather we've lately had. Monday, Julia [Lewis] and Lydia come ....Have some nice walks with them. Sam sends Mary Lewis a carpet sack of Yankee goods which prove very acceptable to her as her wardrobe need replenishing just now. I fall heir to a lot of sewing silk and darning cotton; quite a treasure in these times ....

July 26-Aug. 1

At church and hear Willie Meade preach ....We hear George Geiger is not very badly wounded and is a prisoner in Washington County. I feel so glad of it for Cousin Fanny's sake. Sam sends me some Yankee Pictorials which are amusing. Oh, how I want a letter from Mississippi; not a line since Jabe left Virginia. Some nice reading, Charles Lamb's Letters, Essays, etc. What a sad picture his life presents to us but he seemed to enjoy the brighter spots when they did come. His devotion to his poor afflicted sister was truly beautiful and when thinking of it can excuse his vices however revolting they may seem in a man of his genius and taste. In town with Lyd on Saturday and get her shawl. It is very handsome.

Aug. 2-8

I do not go to church. Julia still with us. She could not get off as the cars were full of soldiers ....A long letter from Jabe and Sally. They are living in Lauderdale County, Mississippi. Jabe has a hospital in [Maj. General Samuel G.] French's division and Sally is with him. The sick and all live in tents in the midst of the forest. Say they have not only a comfortable but a very pleasant home in their "Tent in the Greenwood." There are some 5,000 sick and wounded around them all belonging to six divisions and most of the Surgeons have their families with them so there is plenty of nice society. Sally tells me her tent looks really elegant and she is so happy to be with Jabe. We hear George Geiger is certainly dead. Cousin Fanny had a letter from the minister who was with him. He died in Gettysburg. Poor cousin Fanny. What she cared for most in this life is gone from her forever here. [George Geiger had been adopted by Louisa's cousins Peter and Frances Tapp Meriwether who had no children of their own.] Mr. Poor is not dead, but badly wounded. Bennet Taylor is wounded and in Baltimore; His father thanks with his friends. Mr. Dowel [the overseer at Pantops] and his family leave this week. He will have to go into the Army as a conscipt. I feel much for them. They will feel the hard times now, I fear. Julia and Nan leave on Thursday. Lyd and I intended going too but sister Mary was busy and could not send for us. We hope to go on Monday. Dave left for the Army on Thursday ....Sally writes me that she has heard that brother Sam has raised a Company of Bush Whackers and has taken to the woods. I'm very sorry; had hoped he would keep quiet for the sake of his family ....[Letters written.]....

Aug. 9-15

I do not go to church on accounted of an afflicted eye. Lydia and I have a cup of coffee ....Lydia and I go as far as Keswick on Monday; at Music Hall by dinner time .... In the evening we are invited to Castalia to eat ice cream in honor of Bob's birthday. The birthday came off last week, I believe, but he could not leave then, so they delayed the treat. Bob and Mr. Coffman are both up from Camp, which is near Gordonsville just now, for the night. We are up until about two o'clock in the morning. I don't enjoy visitors during the small hours of the night. A very quiet week ....Spend a day and night at The Creek and enjoy it much; am also at Uncle Bob's for short visits ....Lizzie [Minor] and Ellen Watson go off to "Frescuti" on Friday so Lyd, Sister Mary and I have a quiet time [with] nothing to excite us but soldiers. The cry is "still they come." We are quite overrun. Our Army is now scattered from Gordonsville to Fredericksburg so we have full benefit of the stragglers. The soldiers all think there is no chance for a fight just yet ....

Aug. 16-23

No church ....On Monday evening cousin Howell comes by with some news for me. Sue has a daughter born Friday night, Aug. 14th. [Note at bottom of page -mistake, Saturday Aug.15th.] Cousin Howell saw Mammy Eliza, Dick and my black Mammy going down to Ashland this morning. It is quite a surprise. [The baby was premature.] I'm glad the event is over, am anxious to hear how Sue is ....Spend Wednesday at Uncle Bob's and have such a charming time. House full of soldiers from the hospital. They are Lizzie Dee's friends. They all seem to be gentlemen and some of them very pleasant. They were from Louisiana and North Carolina. There is also a very agreeable refugee lady from Baltimore, a Miss Gearing .... Lizzie Dee is down this week. She looks badly. I write to Mammy Eliza and Mary Lewis and also had letters from both of them. Mammy Eliza says Sue is very smart and the baby weighed four pounds. What a mite it must be ....Nanny Anderson with us the last of the week. On Friday the 21st, a Fast Day we attended church and heard a good sermon from Mr. Boyden....Bob gets home Saturday night from camp sick with fever.

Aug. 23-29

At church in the morning and hear Mr. Boyden on the Manifold wisdom and goodness of God ....In the evening call to see Bob. He is sitting up but looks so wretchedly. Am introduced to Colonel Smead. Make another visit to The Creek this week and find Mr. [Aurelius King] Shay there. We have a gay time. Call at Mr. Pegrams; am introduced to the Rev. Mr. Calloway. Go one morning to see Mary Walker (Randolph). She looks so frail; has such a bad cough. Her baby is a fine boy born August 15th. She calls him George Geiger. Call to see Bob nearly every day. He is very poorly tho not dangerously ill. Jimmy Minor, too, is very sick. Nannie and I leave for home on Thursday with an escort made up by Mr. Shay, Lewis Fry and Charlie Lewis. [Lewis Fry is the grandson of Howel and Sarah Lewis and Charlie their son.] The two last are going to make Met a visit. At the Depot in town we find our two hospital acquaintances Levy and Smith. The "man of letters" is roughly handed. Get home to dinner; feel quite comfortable to be back again but such a blank in the household by the absence of Mammy Eliza and Dick. Mammy E writes that the baby is better. At one time they did not think it would live. Sue is doing well. Saturday I have a letter from Lizzie Minor. She tells me Jimmy and Bob are both better. Jimmy has gotten the Cadetship at [the Virginia Military Institute at] Lexington and will go over as soon as he gets well ....

Aug. 30-Sept. 5

At church and hear Mr. Meade....He is down on the extortioners and speculators who are now draining our land and it is time for all who have any patriotism, any Christianity in their hearts, to come out boldly and denounce them for without help from on High it must be the rock on which we must split yet. May God turn from us this evil and put it into our hearts to do right ...[Letters written.] Read [Joel] Barlow's Strange Story . It's well named for a stranger one I never read. Think he, Barlow, is about to loose himself in the mazes of his great learning, for in my humble opinion, his foothold is anything but sure in this sea of isms and ologies ....Go to town frequently and see our hospital friends ....[Visits made.]

Sept. 6-13

At church and hear Mr. Slaughter....[Letters received.] Lizzie tells me Bob is much better. Jimmy is well and has been up to see me. He goes to Lexington this week. Sally and Jabe are still in Lauderdale and are very happy. They say they don't get any letters from me which must be the fault of the mails for I've written. I'm busy with the Scrap Book .... [Sue] tells us the little baby has been very poorly again. I fear she will be very delicate. Dine on Friday at Ridgway and have a pleasant time ....Read a letter (to Lydia) from Missouri of the date of July 27th. It is from her Father and Mother. Tells her of the death of Cousin Laurie Vaughan. Sister Lizzie speaks of brother Peter and brother Will's being in Illinois. I can't understand it. The letter comes through Vicksburg ....

Sept. 13-19

A beautiful sermon from Mr. Meade.... Mary Lewis goes to Mr. Maury's....Paid $35 for a pair of garters. Think it time to do without shoes ....[Letters received and written.] Sue, John and the baby get up on Saturday. We are all so glad to have them with us again. The baby is a wee little thing, the smallest piece of humanity I ever saw but it has plenty of time to grow and in all probability will make a big woman if she lives to grow to womanhood. Sue is such an anxious mother. Well, it will require great attention and care to raise the little baby ....

Sept. 20-26

At church and hear Dr. Harrold....Early Monday Sister Mary and Lizzie call by for me in the carriage to go shopping with them. We spend the day on the street and have a pleasant time; so much to hear from and say to her. Call to see Lizzie Dee and am introduced to Lizzie's friend, Mr. Cahill. Nannie A. is with us. Bob with us for a few days this week. He has gotten over his spell of fever but is not quite strong enough for the Army yet. Say goodbye to some of my soldier friends this week. They have been ordered to join their Regiments. Will we ever meet again and will the association have any influence on my life? The Father only can answer the question. Sister Mary tells me Lyd starts to school today ....Mary Lewis very sick. She is brought home from Mr. Maury's on Wednesday quite unwell and continued to get worse until Friday when there was a change for the better. We have gained a great victory out West lately. [General Braxton] Bragg and Co whipped [General William S.] Rosecranz [sic] near Chattanooga on the 27th ( I think) badly. May we give Him all the glory for without the help of His Almighty Power our enemy must trample us in the dust. Cool pleasant weather.

Sept. 27-Oct. 3

At church but have to leave as I'm quite sick. Have cousin George [Macon] to see me get home and get better. Missed Dr. Sparrows sermon which I was sorry for. A visit this week from a cousin of Daddy's from Culpepper, a Mr. Gaines. He is a refugee from his home now for the second time since the war commenced. They have now burnt and carried off everything belonging to him but his land. Poor refugees, they are much to be pittied. Met Mac is up for several days ....Sue's little baby very poorly. I'm enjoying such a nice book, Mrs. Hannah Mores Memoirs. Will speak more at length of them when I get through. Bob spends Saturday night with us. We have a talk that is not altogether charitable.

Oct. 4-10

Hear Mr. Meade....Go home with Sister Betty after church. In the evening Sister Betty and I go to The Delevan hospital to see Jimmie Watson and hear from Johnnie Watson who was very badly wounded in the last fight in Orange County. We saw Jimmie and Cousin Fannie Sheppard ....Poor Johnnie, I fear is mortally wounded and the poor boy is entirely unconsious of his danger. Get home Monday to dinner. Mary Walker Randolph died Sunday night. Why is it that the young and beautiful and those whose cup of happiness seem full to overflowing should be called home whilst those whose cross is very heavy and their most earnest prayer is to be gone, should be left to watch and search on? It is not for us to question. God knows what is right and best and will one day make it plain to us. Tuesday I'm at Clover Fields and see the body of my old and dear friend given to its mother earth. She is the first of our little band of five who lived so happily together as school mates that has been called home. She died as she had lived, a Christian and is home in the enjoyment of that perfect peace ....

Oct. 11-17

Hear Mr. Nelson preach from the text "And they made light of it." Monday the 12th sent Emily's verses on "Counting the Cost" to the Churchman. Hope they may be appreciated by Mr. Sprigg and they may be given a place in His Poet's Corner. I think they deserve it. Oct. the 13th sent off poor Tittums to the mill. It made my heart feel sad to see him start for I've had some pleasant hours with him. Poor puss! I can but wonder what will be your fate. Write Bob Minor to ask if he can clear up the mystery about brother Peter (vis his being in Chicago practicing his profession.) Wednesday the 14th Ma, Nannie, Ellen and I go down to Uncle Bob' s for a visit of one night. Call in the evening to see Sister Mary. Lyd and I talk over business matters including her dresses for the winter and how she should spend the money she got for her red merino dress. Cousin Ann Mac sold it for me in Richmond. I got about $30 per yard for it. Lyd has had another letter from her Mother and Father and I feel much relieved about brother Peter as brother Sam tells Lyd he is proud to say he is doing good service to our cause-so the report was false as I thought it. My heart feels lightened of a heavy load. Aunt Sally tells me a secret. A heavy rain comes up Wednesday evening so we do not get home until Friday about dinner time. Bring some of the new Molasses with us to treat on. Uncle Bob has gone largely into the business this year. We take down Peggy, the cat, to Aunt Sally so Peck II is my only cat pet now. Find Sue's little baby very poorly. I have many fears for it. Have a very kind letter in the evening from Dr. Sprigg, he accepts my verses; says they will appear in the next week or two-requests me to send more. An era in Met's life. He aimed a successful shot for the first time and brought down a squirrel on Saturday the 17th. He killed four squirrels and a bird. I hardly think the house will hold him now. News of two cavalry fights this week, in both of which we were victorious. Oh, that so many laurels would only conduct us to the Olive Branch! Am thankful to hear Dave is safe.

Oct. 18-24

Such a beautiful sermon from Dr. Wilmer....The Christ of History. Visitors this week .... Finish reading Mrs. Hannah Mores Memories in two vols. I'm much entertained with what ease she writes. Think I shall recommend her letters as speciments of epistology art. Late Friday evening Dave comes home. He has been slightly wounded in the fight on Monday at Buckland [Mills in Prince William County.] He brings me the bullet that hurt him ....Buy a new Calico dress and for the 8 yards, English Goods, pay $56, and a pair of grey flannel gloves, pay $10 for. Did I ever believe I should live to see such times! "Counting the Cost" comes out in the Churchman this week.

Oct. 25-31

No church, it is too muddy ....Winter is coming fast upon us and I fear it will be one of suffering and want to many. May we all be willing to suffer much and be cheerful under it all for the sake of the great cause (our liberties) for which we are contending and may God help and strengthen us. Go on Friday to Orange Dale for a visit of a few days ....We have such nice tea parties. Uncle Elijah tries very hard to make a Baptist of me. Lends me "The Voice" with the hope it may lighten my darkness on the subject of water and the quantity necessary to save.

Nov. 1-7

Sunday is All Saints. Hear Mr. Meade....A beautiful discourse on the duties and responsibilities both of sponsor and child at the Font. I come home after church much against my will [as I] wanted to stay with cousin Isabella but found I could not get home when I wished as the carriage was in use ....

Nov 8-14.

Hear Mr. Meade [preach.]....Dave and I walk over to town Friday, met Lydia by appointment at the Depot and go up together to Rugby where I spend the night ....Dave and Lydia tell me a secret. I'm not altogether pleased; had hoped she would have waited until she got back to Missouri to fix up such affairs; fear some trouble will come of it. Get home Saturday to dinner and have a long letter in the evening from my darling little Sis. She is still in Lauderdale and expects to be there all the winter ....

Nov. 15-21

At church and hear Mr. Slaughter....Sue, John, Mary Lewis and the little baby leave us on Wednesday; quite a gap made in the home circle...Read Uncle Elijah's book Theodosia. A bigoted uncharitable affair; fear I've not been edified by its perusal.

Nov. 22-28

Do not attend Church. Cousin Howel has had a letter from Mr. Bacon. [James T. Bacon, his son-in-law, who lives in Brooklyn, New York.] He tells of the death of Miss Vallent's brother. [Louisa inserted below, mistake it was his brother who died] I feel for the dear little woman for I know how much he was to her. Send Mr. Sprigg some more poetry and another letter. Hope he won't think me troublesome. A good story on Mary Lewis. John sent a telegram to Sam informing him of Mary Lewis' and Sue's arrival in Ashland and by some means, it got into the papers. News this week that we've been whipped out West at Chattanooga. General Bragg has had to give up (his command).

Nov. 29-Dec.5

No church. Roads too bad. Some nice reading. Write to Lydia and Mary Lewis. I'm very much fascinated with Horace Walpole. What beautiful letters he writes but is decidedly too fond of scandal and is at times anything but delicate .... Quite an era in my monotonous life. Saturday I go out visiting in town and call at Mr. Meade's....

Dec. 6-12

At church and hear Mr. Meade....An old sermon....Hear often from Music Hall by Dave who is a very frequent visitor. He tells me Dick [Minor] has had measles and it was thought Annie was about ready for them. I hope some of them may come off scott free. What a lot of courting must have been and still is going on at Music Hall, Castalia and the Creek. Bob and Lizzie [Minor] until very lately, Dave and Lyd, Lizzie Dee and Mr. Cahill, and Julia [Lewis] and little Mr. Shay. An interesting place just now. My friends are anxious for me to spend Xmas with them but I am not in the spirit for gaiety so I'll stay at home quietly ....I have to be nurse and housekeeper too. Mary Lewis writes word the baby is improving fast with her black mammy (The Doctor prescribed a Black Mammy for the young Lady after she returned to Ashland). Poor little thing, no doubt she was half starved was what the matter with her while with us. Saturday Dave leaves us.

Dec. 13-19

A bright Sunday but I can't leave Ma to go to church .... Henry Lewis to visit us. We talk over old times; the merry happy days we've spend together. Seeing him recalled some of the happiest days of my life. Dave back again Wednesday night. He has a tale of woe to tell me. All's off between him and Lydia. Well, I can't say I feel very sorry for it for I trembled for the result. Feel sorry for him; can't think Lydia has treated him exactly right. He finds his company has gone to The Valley so he has to join Co. Q for awhile. The Camp is near Mr. Browns. He is at home again the last of the week. Sell my hog this week. He weighed 158 and brought me $316, quite a windfall ....Ma is much better by the middle of this week. Insists upon taking the keys ....

Dec. 20-26

Do not go to church as Uncle Hatter is visiting his daughter. John up for a night. Reports them all well-that Miss Eliza is beginning to show a bright face; laughs, takes much notice of affairs going on around her. Mary Lewis does not even talk of returning home. Go to town on Monday and see Mr. Brown and get my money for the Pig, $312. Pay all my debts and treat myself to a whole lb of tea for which I paid $35. Give Ann [a slave woman who was probably caring for the pig for Louisa] for her share $150; made Nanny a present of $20, Ellen $5, Met $8 and when Mr. Hornsey and the others to whom I owed money were paid off there was not very much left. I feel very perfectly satisfied to know that I owe no man anything though I've nothing left. Dave brings me a cousin from Camp to spend a night with us, Frank Meriwether from Bedford County. He is very good looking, agreeable too ....The 2nd Regiment is disbanded for the next 30 days, the men all sent home to feed up the horses and get them in better order. A letter from Lyd. She is spending her Xmas at Rugby; wants to see me very much, says she is in much trouble and needs my advice and sympathy. I must go to her for I feel it right ....Xmas Day is cloudy. Dull times but I enjoy myself with my books, writing etc ....

Dec. 27-31

Sunday a rainy day-also Monday. Tuesday I go to town enroute for Rugby. A letter from Dave. State Secrets. He thinks there can be no reconstruction of the union. Spend several days at Rugby. See Lyd and hear all her troubles; fear I can't help her ....Wednesday the children have a dance. I join them. The music was from two fiddles and the piano. The beaux were plenty but a scarcity of girls. I had my fun. The quiet life I had at home makes me feel that I had no desire for gaiety but I find when I get a chance I get into a merry party and the old taste returns and I enjoy a dance as much as ever ....[Visits paid.] I'm in much trouble about the servants; think they are very unreasonable and troublesome. [The end of the year is the time when Louisa must make arrangements for her slaves that she has been hiring out, as the contracts all expire at the end of the year. ]