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1860
Jan. 1-7
New Years Day. Too cold for church so spend the day very comfortably at home reading, etc. Get the ice house filled this week... Making scrap books-quite the fashion ....The Lodge in consequence in great disorder. A present from Sam of a nice copy of Tennyson's Idyls of The Kinq. I enjoy it much. Finish reading Dairy of a London Physician. Such a collection of horrors. A sweet long letter from Emily. She tells me some news which makes me feel sick at heart but it ought not so to be. I must be brave. What would my little friend think of me if she knew with what feeling I received the intelligence of the near accomplishment of the dearest desire of her life. I ought to rejoice with her. She tells me my niece Lizzie [Minor] was baptized on Christmas Day and was admitted to the Lord's Table. Dear Lizzie, she is a young soldier of the cross but God's words tells us that those who seek him early shall find him ....
Jan. 8-14
I did not go to church being not very well. I'm much interested with a book cousin Sarah Gilmer sent us to read, Blount On the Articles and Saint Peter ....[Letters written and received.]....I'm very poorly for several days in bed; have some medicine from Dr. Leitch which does me good. How good for nothing I'm getting to be-sick so often . ....[Visitors for dinner and overnight.]
Jan. 15-21
Too poorly for church. Some nice reading at home. Monday the carriage arrives and we fix up and start off. Get down to Music Hall by sundown ....Charlotte [Nelson] is there and very soon Lizzie Dee steps in. It is so pleasant to be near her again and to have so many around me that I love so well. Emily and Lizzie stay Tuesday night with us. Emily and I have so much to talk about. She has almost entirely given up her plan of engaging in the African Mission. She meets with such opposition from friends but still desires to join the sisterhood in New York City. What a brave little woman she is. I return to The Creek with her on Wednesday to spend the day. Quite a miserable thing happened this morning. After we had both mounted Suzy, the Old lady concluded that both were too heavy so after one or two kicks she succeeded in throwing us both over her back onto the ground. Fortunately we are not hurt but much frightened. I find cousin Sarah quite poorly but she gives me a warm welcome. I stay with her until Emily is out of school. About dinner time I'm quite sick so it is impossible for me to turn out in the evening, so I conclude to remain until Friday when Emily's labors will be over for the week and she can return with me. Thursday Emily is quite sick so Nannie [Lewis] takes her place in the school room and Emily is put to bed. We have nice times being sick together. We have such pleasant chats about things that interest us. Read Miss Alice Cary's poems and she tells me about that singular personage .... Friday brings a letter from Bishop Payne to Emily giving her great encouragement to return with him in May to Liberia. He invites her to visit him in Alexandria in a week or so. I think her mind is made up now. She says she does not think she has any right not to harken to such a call. She has long desired and prayed that she might be the humble means in God's hands of distributing the bread of Life to the poor benighted heathen and now that an opportunity offers itself, she feels it her duty to accept. The dear little woman, she is well fitted for such work in mind and heart but I fear much her health will not bear up under such a climate and the hard work .... I feel certain that she would willingly give up many years of her earthly journey that the few remaining ones may be spent in her Master's cause. We stay Friday night at Uncle Bob's and have a nice evening. Little Lydia is so much grown and is so pretty and sweet. Young Bob has returned from the South heartily disgusted with the Southern life. He thinks he will be quite well satisfied to remain in old Virginia now. I fear the South has not done him any good judging from the way he talks but I hope and feel that there is too much good in Bob for him ever to be spoiled by his associations with the world ....Go back to brother Jim's Saturday evening. Mr. Coffman makes himself very entertaining by reading to us while we work. I have a nice long letter from Cousin Walker Miller [with]... the information required for that branch of the Lewis Tree. I will have to go to work now.
Jan. 22-28
Attend service at Grace Church. Mr. Boyden is sick so we have lay readings. Brother Jim reads the sermon, which I think he does well. Emily's Christmas decorations still look very pretty though Cousin Julia's [Julia Lewis] letters are very crooked. Emily remains at Music Hall while we are at church as she is poorly. On our return she lays her plans before brother Jim and he both sympathizes with and aids her by lending her books that treat of the subject and offers to go with her to meet the Bishop in Alexandria as he too has business with him. [James Minor as executor of his uncle James Terrel's estate, had sent eighty-six freed servants to Liberia under the auspices of the American Colonizational Society.] Her mind and spirit both seem more at rest after talking with him and I feel so glad I witnessed it. Sue and I have a plan of going with them but after talking it over and taking a hard look decide it best to remain as we would stay such a short time it would not be worth the trouble and expense. Emily leaves on Sunday evening and Sue and I are alone for the first time since the evening we came down. Have quite an interesting conversation in the School Room with brother Jim and Mr. Coffman on Infant Baptism. Monday we stay very quietly at Music Hall, Sue and I making needlebooks. Tuesday we go over to Uncle Bob's to stay a day and night. Sister Mary comes there with us. We have a pleasant time talking, working etc. Lizzie Dee is engaged in her school all the morning but we have her company after dinner and at night. We get on a very interesting topic after we say goodnight to the old folks which keeps us up very late. Wednesday at Music Hall, again. Attend Prayer meeting at Kinloch in the evening. We are introduced to our new cousin, Charlotte Macon, [baby daughter of Mildred Nelson and George Macon] a very young lady .... Thursday Brother Jim, Sue and I look through an old box of letters that belonged to Uncle Nick Lewis. [Nicholas Lewis of The Farm b. 1728.].... Get some very valuable autographs: one of President Washington, of Meriwether Lewis and Thomas Jefferson. Quite a number of letters from my great Uncles Nicholas and Robert Lewis who went westward and a number of other kinfolks that I know nothing about. Charlotte spends the night with us and we have a cozy time. I call to see Emily. She seems better both in mind and body. Found quite a sick family at the Creek. Emily and I make arrangements for being together at the end of the week ....We spend the night and next day at Uncle Bob's where Lizzie Wood is putting up ....Lizzie is so full of life and spirits I almost envy her. She gives us some very sentlemental songs. Aunt Sally has a nice joke on us about the Custard and Romeo. Saturday morning the two Lizzies, Emily, Sue and I go back to Music Hall to spend the night. Bob is with us, also Mr. Coffman and after supper Jimmy Lewis [of The Creek] drops in so we have quite a company. Emily and I retire early and as brother Jim's says "after the old folks leave the young ones have gay times." I'm willing; enjoy myself much more with my friend all to myself. There is such a feeling of sadness mingled with the pleasure of being with her now for the thought of how soon I may be called upon to give her up, is always present with me. Sad news from town. Our beloved pastor has sent in his resignation and it has been accepted. It will be a hard task for his congregation for I know of no minister who is more beloved than Mr. Meade. There is much to attach him to our family for with the exception of me (I'm not certain about Sue) he has administered the ordinance of baptism to the whole family and has performed the last solemn rites for our beloved church over the graves of two of our loved ones. I will not feel quite satisfied to see anyone in his place but such feelings are wrong and I must call to mind that changes and troubles are our material heritage and sent to remind us that this world is not our home and we must not set our heart upon thoughts below. [Note at bottom of journal page ---"It was a mistake, he did not resign."]
Jan. 29-Feb. 4
Attend Lay Reading at Grace Church. The sermon is read by Mr. William C. Rives and I enjoyed it much more than Mr. Boyden's preaching. Emily leaves me after church. Sue and I spend a day and night at Kinloch this week and have a pleasant visit ....Get back to Music Hall Tuesday morning. Find sister Mary busy getting ready for Lizzie's candy pull which she is to have in honor of her 15th birthday (the party is to come off on Friday and the birthday on 7th.) Cousin Fanny Hart [visits us and .... gives me a list for the Lewis Tree ....Thursday and Friday we spend helping Sister Mary about the party-have such times stirring the candy-have four different kinds. Sue and I help to get all things in readiness. Set the table, which is much adorned and prepare the meat supper and get everything in order to receive the guests. Then we take our departure for The Creek where we spend the night with Emily who declines attending the party as she expects to leave early in the morning for Alexandria. She and I do not feel in the mood for parties and company and so Sister Mary excuses us. I am very much hurt at the conduct of my cousin Bob Lewis. Hope; however, he will think better of it and make an apology which I consider due to brother Jim, sister Mary and myself. Have a nice time with my friend Emily. Poor thing, she has much to try her but faith upholds her in all trials and the words, "No cross, no crown," seem ever before her. Cousin Sarah is very nervous and very amusing. Emily and brother Jim get off early on Saturday morning. Sue and I get back to Music Hall before dinner and find the house full of party guests. We have our share of the party goodies ....
Feb. 6-11
Feel too poorly for Church. Lizzie Dee stays with me. A comfortable chat together. Finish reading Mary Lyon. Sing hymns all the evening. Monday Sue and I have our Oyster Party. Cousin Howel, Jimmy [Lewis] and Lizzie Dee are the only people who accept our invitation. Uncle Bob and Aunt Sally thought it too cold to come out. Brother Jim and Emily do not get home today as we expected. The Bishop must have disappointed them. However, the next day brings them back to us. Brother Jim gives me all the particulars of the trip. He thinks Bishop Payne's impression of Emily was a favorable one. Emily spends Wednesday night with me. She gives me all the points of her trips to Alexandria. How kindly she was interviewed by Mr. J. Wilson Gordon and what funny questions the Bishop asked. Dear little woman, she will go now if the Board of Missions in New York [of the Episcopal Church] will accept her and not in May as she first thought but in April; however, in either case she would leave Virginia the first of March. I must hope she will go for her heart is set on it. It is a sad time for me, for I feel in all probability I'm with her for the last time during this our earthly pilgraimage but there comes the comforting thought that me may hope for a meeting in that House of Many Mansions when there will be no more parting. We both think it best if she should be permitted to go that she should not come to say goodbye as it would only give us pain so we agree not to take leave of each other. Oh, how sad my heart feels, but I must not give way to my feelings ....A letter from a little niece in Missouri, Lizzie Minor, [and other letters.]....Old Suzy sleeps her last sleep. She died on Thursday night after a short illness. I had the last ride on her. Friday we get home ....Home seems quite sweet after an absence of nearly four weeks. Cousin Lou and the children have been stopping up here for several days past ....Jimmy Lewis comes up on the cars with us and stays Friday night with us. He seems much afraid he frightened me the last night we were at Music Hall. I must confess I was much frightened but did not choose to let him know how much. Saturday Sue and I go over to town shopping. Have a cold time.
Feb. 12-18
Emily's 22nd birthday. I hear she has put on the spectacles. I do not go to church, am very poorly again. Indulge in some novel reading, Love Me Little, Love Me Long and some others .....[Guests to dinner.]....[A letter] from Emily. It is very comforting. Nothing can be decided about her going until the 29th of this month. Get hard to work in my school ....
Feb. 19-25
No church-such a long day. Met gives me so much trouble with his lessons I administer the rod for the first time. It was very hard to bring myself to do it, but I felt as if I was neglecting a duty not to punish him. Hope I will not have to do it often for it upset me for the rest of the day. A visit from Dr. Leitch, he puts me on Cod Liver Oil and Iron. Ash Wednesday, Feb. 22nd it rains [so] hard all the morning that we could not get to church. Wrote a long letter to Emily. [Friends call and letters written] ....
Feb. 26-March 2
At my own church for the first time since Xmas Day. A sermon from Cousin Dabney Davis . ....See Sister Betty; she says they will not move before sometime next month. Ma very poorly. Jimmy Lewis calls and brings me news of Emily. Don't know whether I ought to consider it good news. Her mother and uncle have positively forbidden her going out to Africa as a missionary. I feel so anxious to hear from the little woman and know how she bears the disappointment, for disappointment it must be to her ....Get on quite fast with my block work . ....Saturday go over to church but find Mr. Meade too poorly to preach. I go with cousin Lou to her church and hear a fine sermon from Mr. Brock....After church I go to sister Bettys and stay until the next day and come home after church. Mr. Brown and I arrange all our business. They [it is unclear if Louisa's is referring to her slaves who are hired out by the year or to her sister Betty's family] will perhaps move next week. Ma better but still confined to her room. I'm still very poorly ....
March 4-10
Mr. Meade too poorly to preach but he adminsters the communion. [Supper guests.]....A letter from Emily, poor child, she seems to be very much let down. I wish I knew what to advise for her. I can't encourge her to go when her friends oppose it so bitterly for I can't think a blessing will attend her efforts. But are they right in their disapproval? Dear little woman, I can only pray that God may guide her to do what is his will and if she is defeated in this darling project she must find some other field for inspiration for I feel assured that her's will not be a life of idleness. Sue and Mary Lewis go off dining at one of our neighbors. I stay at home on the bed all day sick .... [Calls received and letters written.] Uncle Bob and brother Jim dine with us on Friday. They bring no news. Brother Jim thinks there is but little chance of Emily's going. Says Mr. Coffman has a learned article on cats to read me from Heroditus. I'm quite curious.
March 11-17
At church and hear Mr. Latane. He is very interesting. Sue and I stay in town visiting. I go to church again at night. Poor Sue is in bed sick with a headache. Attend Mr. John Tool's [the artist's] funeral. He was buried with masonic honors. It was a very impressive ceremony but it does not seem right to bury our dead out of our sight without a prayer or a word from one of God's ambassadors. Attend several lectures on Sunday Schools by a Mr. Hunter who calls himself the children's friend. He certainly has the happy facility of engaging their whole attention while addressing them. He must be a good man for I don't believe one whose heart is not in his work could talk as he does. Maggie and Nannie [Anderson] are much interested and stay in town until he leaves. Sue and I make a visit of two days and two night to Orange Dale .....Get the whole household interested in my block work. All the old trunks and boxes are ransacked to add to my stock of materials. Aunt Rebecca gives me quite a treasure, a piece of a dress she and Ma had when they were young. Get back to town on Thursday morning ....[Pays many visits.] Saturday attend church and heard a sermon from Mr. Meade....
March 18-24
....Mr. Meade not able to preach so we go with Cousin Lou .... A fine sermon but I was suffering too much to enjoy it. Take to my bed when I get from church but am well again by dark. A quiet talk with Sam while Sue and Giny are at Church. It rains too hard for me to go out ....Work on my quilt which is beginning to make quite a show ....Wednesday evening attend prayer meeting and then come home. Ma has quite recovered her health ....Bob Lewis spends a day and night with us this week. He brings me the news that Emily was to start making preparations to go to Africa on Thursday. I feel so troubled that she should leave Virginia without sending me a word of farewell. Think Bob must be mistaken. I can feel and think of nothing but Emily. Dear little woman what is to be your fate ....Mary Lewis from home all the week helping Mrs. Meade to sew. Mrs. Meade has a sewing machine but does not know how to use it and she has such a host of children Mary Lewis went over to do some work for them ....
March 26-31
Ma's birthday; she is 67. Today hear Mr. Meade [preach] a very fine sermon. Miss [Carrie] Morrill and I have a talk about Emily. I wish much I could see more of her for I know I would like her ....On Monday have a letter from Emily. She has not yet left Virginia but I think it but little doubt now of her going. May God guide her to do His will ....[Letters
written and received.] Read such a sweet book lent me by cousin Ann Gilmer, The Lord Our Shepard. Nanny and I commence Irving's Life of Columbus ....A note from ...Emily;...she will hear her fate tomorrow .....Thursday evening the 29th a note of farewell from Emily. She left for New York today. Dear little woman, my heart feels so heavy to think I may never see you again in this world. I fear I'm not a cheerful giver for I cannot feel reconciled to your going to that "Land of darkness as darkness itself" even though it be about your Master's work but I must look upon the bright side and pray that her labors may be blessed and that she may be spared to come back to us and should that be impossible we may indulge in the hope of someday in that home not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. Oh, dear, it does seem hard to me-weak mortal that I am-that I should just have the dear little woman long enough with me to know and love her so well and then for her to be taken so far away but it must be all for the best and I will try to see the hand of God in it . ....[Much company all week.] Attend church on Saturday and hear a sermon from Mr. Nelson....
April 1-7
A sermon from Mr. Meade...on fasting and a beautiful spirit. Church every day this week but Monday, it being Passion Week ....Wrote to Emily in New York. A note from Cousin Fanny Hart and some materials for the Lewis family tree ....A kind note from Miss Carrie Morrill-our subject is Emily ....Good Friday (6th) go to church and have a sermon suitable for the day from Mr. Robert Nelson,...returned missionaries are not generally eloquent preachers. John Macmurdo comes up today. He brings some such beautiful flowers from cousin Ann ....Mary Lewis is in high fix for Richmond. She will return with John. How she will enjoy herself! I almost envy her the novelty of the first trip to a city.
April 8 -14
Easter Sunday a sermon from Mr. Meade....How many thoughts of the past this season calls up. Last year I had my darling little Emily with me and I was so happy. This year we are widely separated and with little prospect of our meeting on earth again and there are other sad changes for me, some that will have great influence on my future life but I must try to bear up bravely under them all. May God help me so to do. Lizzie Dee spends a night with us. She gives us all the news of the neighborhood. Mary Lewis and Johnny leave on Wednesday. Mary Lewis will perhaps be away three or four weeks. Brother James and Sister Mary come up shopping. They call by for me and we spend the day together in town. Dine at Kellers. [Visitors.]....Mr. Coffman called. Mignon brought in one of her new kittens to the parlor to show him.
April 15-21
A beautiful sermon from Mr. Nelson....Read ....Sue and I spend a day and night with Mary Walker and have a nice quiet visit ....[Letters received and written to friends and kins near at hand and in Missouri.] Thursday I go over the church (the Convocation is going on) expecting to meet sister Betty there but she does not come in so I stay with Cousin Lou and have an opportunity to attend church again at night. Sue comes in the night very prepared to stay and I remain with her until Saturday after church when I go out home with sister Betty. Friday night, Sue and I spend together at Mr. John Woods.... Lizzy and Lucy were very kind but I felt out of place now with girls who talk and think much about beaux. The preaching during Convocation was so good and I enjoyed it much ....A letter from Mary Lewis; she seems to be enjoying herself much. Get up to sister Betty's Saturday after church and have a warm welcome from the whole household. It is my first visit to the new house [Rugby] and I like it very much. There is so much room and it is so convenient. I find cousin Howel there and we have a long chat about our darling Emily. Dear little woman, she sailed today (21st) with Bishop Payne and his wife from Baltimore in the ship, Mary C. Stevens. Dear little Emily, to that eternal God who alone spreadest out the heavens and smoothest the raging of the sea, I commend thee. That He may guard you from all ills and give you his peace is the prayers of one who loves you very dearly.
April 22-28
Sunday hear Mr. Martin in the morning and at night go to the University Chapel and hear Mr. Scott, the former chaplain ....I have a nice time this week and read, sleep and visit. Dine one day with my cousins Lucy and Mary Terrel and have such a pleasant stay. They are such agreeable old spinsters ....Oh, how many old memories come thronging up at the sight of them-some of those happy days when life seemed so bright before me-but enough of this, I've much to be thankful for. Read Miss Murdock's Life For A Life-what a book it is! She must have studied the human heart wel1 ....I find [the visitors at Rugby] rather young to be much of a companion for me. Oh, seems how I wish I could make myself companionable for all ages. I feel so lonely sometimes and can get up an interest in so few people ....
April 29-May 5
Hear Mr. Omen from I Timothy 3-16. Get home after church and am very poorly again, not able to sit up for a day or so .... I can do nothing but lie on the bed and read. Oh! if I could only be strong again. A letter from dear Miss Vallant. What would I give to see her but she says she cannot come as she has promised Sue Bacon to go to her in Boston this summer and she cannot make two trips. She sends me such a nice lot of flower seeds. Aunt Ria is still with the Doctor-poor little woman! I fear much she will never be well again. I indulge myself this week to an excess in novel reading. Hope to do better soon ....On Saturday quite an unexpected pleasure. Quite early in the day, Miss Carrie Morrill comes in and spends the day and night with us ....I feel as if I could love her for she is Emily's friends and thus is no everyday character. We sympathize with each other over our loss of dear Emily. In the evening, Carrie and I ride to town, do some work and then return. On calling at the office I am delighted to find a letter from Emily sent from Savannah, where the Mary C. Stevens stopped to take on emigrants from Augusta. She writes with a sad heart but with not one word of regret for the steps she has taken. Says she is very happy that she has been permitted to go.
May 6-12
Go to church and hear cousin Dabney Davis [preach.] Say good bye then to Miss Carrie. Hope to see more of her before she leaves Virginia ....Today a meeting was appointed. Nothing is talked of now but Convention. My nose cold is very bad. Mary Lewis comes up on Wednesday and as a matter of course John Macmurdo comes too. It is now fully decided that John is to be my brother and I must learn to love him for Sue's sake. Oh, dear, I wonder why I'm so blind, but such an event never took the shape of a possibility with me before. It is a hard hard trial for me to give up my very own sister but the change may be for her happiness and it seems selfish in me to put any obstacles in the way. For last six months my trials have been many and when this last one came, I felt indeed as if my cup of sorrow was full to overflowing but thank God I can both think and talk of it now with calmness and see and feel a wiser providence in it all by showing me how vain are all the loves of this world. I've long feared that my happiness depended too much upon the love of earthly friends and my Best Friend seeing these breakers ahead will seem fit to aim his blows at my idols and lo how vain they have proved themselves. This world with its joys and sorrows would be a barren world without human sympathy but we must not think too much of that for there is but One to whom we can look in all times of our tribulations ....[Letters written and received.] Finish reading Irving's Life of Columbus. Mary Lewis brings me such a nice copy of Mrs. Brownings poems from Richmond. Mary Lewis seems much pleased with her trip. She was as far as Washington where she spent about ten hours; saw the fine buildings ....
May 13-20
....Bishop Meade makes his annual visit and confirms some 17 or 18 people, three ladies and the rest young men in [the confirmation] class ....[Letters written.] My nose cold very bad; feel better in other prospects. Sam stays Saturday night and all day Sunday. Too pairs of lovers in the house, I feel quite in the way. Johnny Macmurdo leaves on Monday. On Wednesday Sue, Nannie and I go over to Dr. Leitch's where we are invited to stay during the convocation. Meet with some very nice people there ....There's such delightful preaching and I meet with so many old friends among them several from Orange. Take breakfast with Juliet Gilmer on morning and meet there the returning missionary, H.B. Scott. We have some talk about Africa and he gives me much hope of my dear Emily. I am also introduced to Mr. Davis the pastor of the old church in Alexandria where Emily brought me the Ivy leaves, from. Mr. Scott gives me some treasures from Jerusalem; a piece of Evergreen from the site of Solomon's Temple and some seed corn from the Holy City. Breakfast one morning with sister Betty and have my first day with my friend Sally Williansom ....Saturday. Sue, Mary Lewis...Nannie and I dined at Mrs. Sinclair's where we have a nice time ....Sunday night is the closing service of the convocation. Both Bishops made an addresses and that of Bishop Meade's drew tears from many eyes. He spoke of his ministry of almost fifty years; of the first Charlottesville Convocation at which he was present; of the many changes and improvements since then; of those who have since entered into their rest and concluded with the solemn question, "Where would we like to be at this next convocation in this place ten years from now?" It would be impossible for all those present to be together at that day, for himself, he could almost say with certainty he would not be there for his alloted time of years was already spent. (Thought: how many changes are in store for us all in the next ten years but though changes come and we are called to give up many who are near and dear to us, still we have a promise of a meeting in that better land where there shall be no more coming or going out. After the benedictions, the convocation hymn was sung, "Oh how grand, how glorious is the voice of true grace to every son and daughter of adoration." Oh that we could all be made to feel its promises and perfect power to save!...Mr. Hoffman's sermon was one in favor of missions and was the best one of the kind I ever heard him make. Such a delicate and beautiful allusion to dear Emily. He will return to Africa in November. Dr. Sparrow's sermon on Sunday morning was on the millenium.
May 21-26
Monday go home and take a peep at them all. Pack up my clothes and in company with Nanny start off for Music Hall on Tuesday. Meet sister Betty, brother Jim, Sally and Bert Williamson on the cars. They got on at the University. Find sister Mary and all glad to see us. Have such a merry time. Breakfast at Uncle Bob's. I miss Sue so much It does not seem right in me to be away from her as she is so soon to leave us for good and all but I feel so miserable to see all the preparations going on for her departure and I know my long face does her no good. Oh!, that I could feel happy in her happiness but I hope and pray for better feelings in this matter. Sister Mary tells me some news. [Louisa is to be godmother for Sister Mary's baby, Lydia Laurie who was named after their deceased mother.] I'm not surprised ....Brother Jim goes driving [and] Sister Mary and I am almost alone. A severe hail storm in the evening.
May 27-June 2
Whit Sunday Lydia was baptized at Grace Church by Mr. Boyden. Brother Jim, Alice [Lewis] and I standing sponsors for her. The little lady conducted herself with great propriety-only pouted out her mouth a little when Mr. Boyden put the water on her face. Dear child, may the vows we three made for you be faithfully kept. When in our daily supplications at The Throne of Grace may we never neglect to ask for her the blessing of His Holy Spirit that fit may shine in her heart as to cause you evermore to rejoice in His holy comfort through Christ our Lord . ....Tuesday Sister Mary and I go down to The Creek to dine. Oh, how everything about the place brings back dear dear Emily to me. I would like to go off and think and even cry, baby that I am but I must be brave. Kate [Whitehead who is visiting at The Creek] is a dear little woman and I enjoy being with her. She comes home with us and we spend the night together at Uncle Bob's. Lizzie Dee is very busy getting ready to go to Staunton on Thursday to attend a big meeting of her church. I've seen a good deal of her since I've been down. Brother Jim away all this week until Friday in Charlottesville serving on the jury ....I have entirely forgotten to note the death of cousin Martha Minor. She died very suddenly at her farm, Machunk on Wednesday the 16th of May, aged 67 years. Brother Jim and I found her birth in the old Register: born 1793 ....Charlotte and Cousin Tom call by on Friday evening and take me to The Creek where I spend the night with Kate. The young people are all away attending a June Dance at The Green Springs. We have a quiet pleasant evening and night. Saturday spent at Clover Fields. Cousin Peggy [Nelson] is so sweet and kind ....[letters received and written.]
June 3-9
The service and a sermon read by Mr. W.C. [William Cabel] Rives. After church met with some of the Macmurdo clan, Helen and Sadie (Mrs. Rives). They seemed glad to visit with me. Monday morning brother Jim and I go to Castalia to breakfast. On returning home get into a box of old Grandfather Douglas's books and papers. Such a treat. I get some additions to my books of valuable letters; also the certificates of the Parson's ordination to the offices of a Deacon and Priest of the English Church by Bishop Shirlack in the years 1748 and 1749 and the seals attached. Kate comes up early and cousin Sarah also calls. Kate and I have a very confidential chat over some black blasphemers. Spend the night at Kinlock-have a nice evening. Mr. Coffman and I talk about dear little Emily. I have discovered I have a ready listener whenever she is the topic of conversation. Tuesday we make a morning call at Mr. Nelson's....In the evening we go to The Creek, where we are invited to visit the Pegram party and eat ice cream. The ladies and gentlemen are very pleasant but I'm too poorly to enjoy the goodies. Nicky [Lewis] brings me home early in the morning and I take to my bed until after dinner. Lizzie Dee and Betsy Nelson to spend the night with us ....Thursday morning Nanny and I take our departure for home and find a host of friends in the cars and meet Sue and Mary Lewis in town and soon get home where I find all well and glad to see me. The garden is a perfect wilderness of weeds. The cherries are nearly over. All hands and the machine are very busy at work on Sue's wedding clothes. Such a quantity being made up. John Macmurdo up on Saturday. I am very poorly; spend most of my time on the bed.
June 10-16
Do not attend church. Commence a long letter to my Emily. Dr. Leitch to see me. Sam to supper. He and I have a pleasant chat. I hope he will turn out right for I like him very much. Finish my letter to Emily . Wrote [letters]... and do some novel and history reading. Not able to help much about the sewing ....
June 17-22
Have a good sermon from Mr. Meade. See my cousins Lou and Sara Young and Nora Bankhead. I'm sorry not to be able to go out to sister Betty's and stay some with them but I cannot bring myself to leave home as Sue has such a short time to stay and then I'm too feeble to be companionable for young girls. See Miss Carrie for a conversation; perhaps she will not return to Virginia. Troubles for Sue this week. The News of Mr. E. Robinson's fall. We all fear it will affect cousins Sop and John. [Sop and John Macmurdo are employed by the railroad of which Robinson had been an officer.] Poor Sue is so miserable. John is up on Saturday but some of their plans cannot be finally decided until it it known whether cousin Sop will retain his office [with the railroad.] I am so interested in Villetta. What a great book and how interesting it is. What sufferings and trials Charlotte Bronte always indulges her heroines in. Her books have a great effect on my spirits. I sometimes doubt if they do me any good. My new bookcase comes home and I'm much pleased with it ....
June 24-29
Have an old sermon from Mr. Meade-After church we find Mr. Arrowsmith at the carriages. He is very pleasant and tells us of Aunt Ria and Miss Vallant. We have quite a long chat. He seems much interested in politics-thinks this fair country is rapidly drifting into ruins. I agree with him-it is really alarming to think of the present state of this country. On Monday, Mary Lewis and I go over to town on a shopping expedition. Call to see Mr. Arrowsmith at the Hotel and have a pleasant chat. Bring Cousin Isabella and Sarah home with us. The weather so hot and dry. Harvest begins. I am improving in health. Dr. Leitch sent me some appropriate pills which I think does both spirits and health good. Much company this week ....At one time we all feared [Sue's] marriage would have to be given up altogether but the course of true love never runs smoothly but on Saturday John comes up and by night matters are made right and the wedding is decided for Tuesday July 3rd. Sue is all smiles but Oh, dear, down deep in my heart I wonder it is only selfish in me but I can't see any bright side to the picture. My prayers to God that she may be happy as she deserves to be. Sam with us Saturday night. Also John Macmurdo. Bob and I have to take to books by way of entertaining ourselves as the engaged ones have eyes and longings only for each other. What a change being in love makes in people!...much talk about the wedding apparel. Sue, I think has a very handsome stock and in great enough quantities to last her for some years to come. I can't feel any pleasure in looking at her beautiful clothes when I remember our mourning hearts and deep garb of woe but a few short months ago for our dear boy. Sue does not take off her black but there is so much finery mixed with it to set it off that it seems a kind of mockery but perhaps I'm too old fashioned in my taste.
July 1-7
We do not attend church as Uncle Hatter is too tired from the harvesting. Monday cousins Ann and Rose [Macmurdo] are expected but do not come as it storms. Some strangers come in to get out of it. The hail stones are very large.
Tuesday July 3rd Sue's Wedding Day. Cousin Ann and Rose get up to dinner. We are all very busy. I feel quite strong today. Feel so thankful for it, for it would seems very unkind in me to let my aching heart to be seen. Sue had decided to be married in a black dress as she had heard a white one would be expected to be married in church. In consequent I objected to the black dress very much. Could not think of a bride in black but as no one else in the family thought it amiss. I was alone in my objection and I'm inclined to think they all considered it a kind of Minor kink but when Cousin Ann got here and she was told the color of the dress, she objected to it so much that Sue agreed to wear a white muslin of mine. I felt so much relieved. It was a very quiet affair, no one being present but the family, Cousins Ann and Rose, Bolling Picket who came up with them and remained until Thursday, Sam, John and Mr. Meade. I don't believe the marriage could have gone on without the two last. Sue had some very pretty presents. John gave her a beautiful little watch. The Macmurdo clan sent some handsome articles of silver and her Leitch kin all sent some token of love. Ma gave her such a beautiful pin of pearls and jet. All of us children gave some little thing: Mary Lewis a Prayer book, Nannie some buttons for certain garments and the other little ones some suitable remembrances. My gift was a set of hair ornaments made of the hairs of the whole Pantops family living and dead, from Pa Anderson to little Dick. The bridal party stayed until Friday and had calls from quite a number of friends. Thurday evening, Dr. Leitch, cousin Lou and Isabella and Sarah take supper with us. I am so glad that I'm able to bear up through it all. Indeed, now that the die is cast I really feel better about it. Sue seems so happy and every one speaks so well of the man of her choice, I begin to see light behind the clouds and think it is so selfish in me to wish her to stay and be with me. My prayer to God for her is that she may be happy in her new vocation and that His blessing may be upon her and John. The parting Friday was a sad, sad one for us all. Oh dear me, I feel as if I could almost bear anything now, to think that my darling Sue has gone from me and I'm never to have her all to myself again. Oh, it makes my heart ache so badly every way I turn brings up my loss in a new light, that I feel almost wild but that is weakness in me, and I must remember it as one part and lot in this life to be tried and that it was right to be resigned to receive from ones Father's hand many cups of bitter wine. Both John and cousin Ann give me a very kind invitation to return to Ashland with them but I decline as I was not ready and then I'm too feeble to be visiting. I hope in time to be able to visit them this winter. Black Emily goes with Sue as a maid. Little Dick is much troubled about giving her up. On Saturday Mary Lewis and I get settled in our closets. [Mary Lewis has moved into the Lodge with Louisa.] I don't feel much at home. Sam [Leitch] is with us and he is so kind and thoughtful of me. He is really more like the Sam of years ago. I am thankful for my heart is very heavy.
July 8 -14
Do not attend church. Sam stays with us. Monday, Mary Lewis and Mammy Eliza go over to town shopping and bring back Katie Whitehead with them. I'm so pleased for I love her so much. She is among the few that I count as my friend. We have such nice times together, reading, sleeping and talking. A letter from Sue; she seems happy in her new home. They are all kindness and attentive toward her. On Wednesday Lizzie Dee joins us. She gives me all the particulars of Miss Carrie's sojourn at Ridgway. Poor little woman, I fear she was not very kindly cared for. What a world this might be if people would only consider the comforts of others a little more and exercise some Christian charity towards those who many think differently from them. I'm afraid Miss Carrie will not carry back to Maine very exalted ideas of the kindness of Virginians to strangers. Lizzie and Kate stay until Friday evening. When they are gone I feel a kind of lonely. A letter from Brother Jim; he and sister Mary are about taking wing for the Green Springs. Saturday I answer it. Mary Lewis in bed all day with a cold. Sam to supper. I'm poorly again; had quite a time from the aches of moon this week. Mammy very sick. I feel so troubled about her. Wrote Sue a long letter early in the week, propose to exchange a weekly epistle with her ....
July 15-21
Too poorly to attend church. Read Mr. Slaughter's new book Man and Domain ....What a work he proposes for the men of the present day! Who will be the ones to begin? Do some letter writing this week. I had neglected so many of my correspondents for such a time that I may seldom have such a treat as a letter. A letter from Lizzie Minor in Missouri. She is very anxious to come to Virginia to go to school. Wants some information on the subject. I shall write to brother Jim about it. Do a good deal of sewing this week although I'm very poorly. Teach school. Take Ellen for a while so as to get her to reading a little .....Such a lovely sweet letter from Sue who tells me of her present from "Mike", a pair of beautiful Canary Birds. Wants me to name them. I propose Paul Emanuel and Lucy Summer. Wrote to her a length, 12 pages, the next day. Read Tales of the Alhambra.
July 22 -28
Go to the Methodist Church there being no preaching at my own and I hear such a sweet sermon ....It cannot be wrong to allow our thought to dwell upon the glories of the New Jerusalem and to remember that we too may one day behold its glories! That beautiful hymn of Montgomery's as so expresive of my feelings.
"My Father's house on high
Home of my Soul, how near
At times, to faith's foreseeing eye
Its golden gates appear!
Cousin Lou keeps Nanny for Company. Sam gives us his company back. Do some reading and letter writing. Get to work on the quilt again ....[Visitors.]I'm much improved in health. Cousin Dabney Davis and Miss Mary Anderson were married on Monday at Miss Leaton's. The ministers must have great confidence in her as this is the second one that had taken a wife from under her roof. [Misses Anne and Jane Leaton operate the Piedmont Institute for Women.] Brother Jim agrees with me that we ought not to encourage Missouri Lizzie Minor's coming to Virginia to school on account of the expense. Finish my big scrap book. Sam with us Friday evening until Saturday. On that day David Anderson from Missouri arrives on his way to school [the Virginia Military Institute] in Lexington. He is a good looking boy. I hope we shall be good friends. He knows most of my nieces; talks to me of them. A letter from Sally Williamson and Sister Mary. I am thinking of going to Music Hall soon [as I] want to go as far as Orange with Brother Jim.
[At this point in the journal, Louisa fills four pages with poems that she has copied. The poems are about death and mourning for lost loved ones.]
July 29-Aug. 4
Hear Mr. Meade [preach.] Monday Mammy Eliza and I go to town shopping. A rain comes up and we go with Mrs. Holladay to get out of it. We are kindly entertained by both Mrs. Holladay and her son Waller. Aunt Sally, Maggie and little Lydia make us a visit of a day and night ....Aunt Sally and I have many things to talk of ....Aunt Sally leaves Maggie with Ellen for a few days; she picks her up at the barn on her way home on Thursday morning. David leaves on Tuesday for Lexington. He is a delicate looking boy for such a
school. He seems an intelligent boy; takes me through on History, Poetry and Novels ....[Letters written.] Sam with us Thursday night. He goes to Norfolk to get a look at the great wonder of the Navy "The Great Eastern."....[Visitors.]
Aug. 6-11
Hear Mr. Meade...on Christian charity and a beautiful sermon suitable for the occasion too, it being communion Sunday. Have brother Jim to breakfast on Monday. I'm anxious to go down to see Lizzie [Minor] if I could only know when Sue will be up for a visit; I don't want to miss her. He sends Jimmy [Minor] up for me. Hear Miss Vallant has been invited to come back to Uncle Robert's to teach school. Hope much she may come. Brother Jim tells me Susan [a slave woman owned by Louisa and hired out] is better [and has] gone home. He thinks she has been very sick ....[Visitors.] News from Sue! She will perhaps be up on Saturday week. What a lovely time to look forward to. I give Met and Maggie a little vacation as the former has company and Mag does not enjoy study by herself. Walker Macmurdo comes up on Wednesday. Sam spends the evening with us ....He saw the big ships and went to see Sue. I turn Yankee and ply him with questions. Emily [black] sends Dick a little present by Walker. The young man is highly delighted and forthwith has a tea party .... On Saturday, Jennie Toole and her sister Nannie arrive. They are Mary Lewis' friends. I do my best to instruct them but expect but little pleasure from the effort. Jennie, I believe, is a nice lady like girl but she does not seem herself in my company. Sam comes in Saturday night
Aug. 12-18
A continuation of Mr. Meade's last Sunday sermon...Jennie Toole and her little sister leave on Tuesday evening. Kind of lonely this evening; such feelings often come over me now. Daddy very sick this week. Dr. Leitch sent for in the night to see him. Sam, our friend in need, is with us for a day and night. Daddy is much better by Friday. I'm very much troubled at not having a letter from Sue. Cannot think she would neglect me so long. On Friday the letter comes. It has been missent and was written a week ago. Sue and John will perhaps be up on Tuesday. Hear that Miss Carrie Morrill will teach school at Mr. Maury's. I'm real glad; hope she may find a pleasant home and they may like her. I'm very busy with my block work. Sam watches it with much interest. Have a good many of my flower roots taken up and some of them put back again. I write to Sally Williamson to tell her I could not visit her at this time. It is a disappointment to me but I hope still to make it out at some future day. A walk with the children to see a Ground Hog dug out. Quite an exciting scene; the dogs barking and the children screaming. On Saturday I go over to meet Sue and John at the Depot. They arrive in due season. She is looking well and happy. Seems much pleased to be with us again. She brings me a beautiful copy of Tennyson's poems and a picture of herself that I prize much. Everyone at Ashland seems to be very agreeable to her. They are all so kind and do everything in their power to make her happy and comfortable. She gives us an account of poor Prissy. She deserves a better fate. How little we thought when so happy as school mates that in a few short years one of our little band would have to experience such trials as have been her lot but such is life. It is indeed good and kind in the wise one above to fling destiny's cloud o'er the face of our years so we may not know the sorrows that we have in store for us and so enjoy the bright moments as they pass. Sam is with us. Daddy is much better.
Aug. 19-25
We are at church and hear Mr. Herrick... He is a young beginner but I like the sermon. Company in the evening. Not agreeable for Sunday evening but they came to see Sue. Have a quiet chat with her before we go to bed. On Wednesday they are all off for home. I'm on the lookout for Jimmy [Minor] and the Rockaway. He gets up quite early and we start off soon after dinner. A very black cloud keeps us anxious the whole way down. Several times I though we would have to put into a near port to avoid a soaking but the rain respected our helpless state and held up until we arrived at Music Hall and got the baggage secured, then it came down in torrents. Find them all well and glad to see me; all lamenting that Sue is not along. Sister Mary has been waiting for my arrival to make her round of visits, so this next morning we start out, she driving us in the rockaway. Our first call is at Mr. Pegram's to see cousin Sarah Gilmer. We dine at Clover Fields and also make a call at Mr. K[eating] Nelson's and Kinloch. Tidings reach us this week of dear Emily. Julia Lewis(of the Creek) had a long letter and I was permitted to read it. She had not when she wrote landed at Africa. The coast was in sight. Not a word of her health. Wrote in good spirits. Bishop Payne in a letter of a later date mentioned that she was well and he thought pleased. Emily wrote a very instructing account of her voyage out and her school of little boys on the vessel. Some of them were so intelligent that she thought there was certainly a future President of Liberia among them. Cousin Sarah Lewis makes us a visit of several days. I enjoy her company very much. I'm at Uncle Bob's two night this week. Lizzie Dee has concluded to go back to town this session and turn school girl. I feel sorry but think if she intends to make a teacher of herself she ought to be prepared. Miss Vallant has not been heard from. I write for Kate Whitehead to join me. A note from her on Saturday telling me she is sick in bed and does not think she can come. I'm so disappointed for I do love Kate. Two letters from home. Finish off such a big piece of block work.
Aug. 26-Sept. 1
At church but not sermon, a discourse from both Mr. Boyden and Mr. Lyon on the subject of the Bible Society. Mr. Boyden comes to dinner. Cousin Howel(Lewis) also joins Cousin Sarah and we have a jolly time. Monday evening some company to tea. I do not enjoy it very much as I had to play the part of introductions and some of them are strangers ....Friday sister Mary, brother Jim and I go down and dine with Minor Page... They had such a sweet little house and such nice little children. Call at Miss Pages on our return and have a very pleasant time. Miss Ellen is so kind and seems so glad to see me, she is one of the few pleasant old maids. While there a hard rain comes up and we have to stay until almost dark; are very late getting home. Find niece Lizzie at Uncle Bob's and I stay up stairs with the maid Sarah to guard me. Miss Vallant has been heard from. She will accept Aunt Sarah's offer [to teach at Castalia] but will not be able to come for a week or two yet. The letter was from Portland, Maine, and she had to go to New York to make some few preparations before she could start for Virginia. I fear I can't stay down to see her. Wrote to Mammy Eliza and brother Peter. At Uncle Bob's for a day or two this week. Lizzie Dee and I go out visiting together. Spend a night at Cousin Fanny Harts and am introduced to Mag's friend Miss Spenser from Charlotte County ....We try to trace out some relationship between us as her grandmother was a Miss Lewis of Albemarle but it is soon made clear she was none of our set. Friday night we go to Kinloch ....A quiet time ...as several members of the family are away ....Brother Jim has a long letter from Emily. She was really in Africa and pleased. Her health and spirits are both good. The dear little woman expresses both joy and thankfulness that she had been allowed to go to Africa in that work of lowly love for her Lord and Master. Begs brother Jim, as he helped her so much, that he will put it in the heart of others to go where there is so much to do and so few to do it. Sister Mary and I return to The Creek to call on Miss Jones [the new school teacher.] She is a sharp looking little woman, rather pretty. No danger of my forming another friendship with her. Dr. Boylan comes today with his son Jimmy. Oh, how he can
talk. None of us have an opportunity to get in a word often, just now and then. Mr. Coffman seems low in spirits.
Sept. 2-8
At church and hear a sermon read by brother Jim. Lizzie Dee spends the night with me. Some singing and a discussion with Dr. Boylan on African Missions after supper. On Monday it is really confusion, utter confussion all day. So many arrivals of new boys-most of them have either fathers, brothers or mothers to introduce them. Among the first is the Orange Millionaire, Mr. George Debuis and a real gentleman he is. I feel so sorry for his little son, he seemed so troubled to give up his father. It is his first trial of life from home. Cousin Frank Carr also brought his son and stayed for a day or two. On Tuesday Mrs Morris arrives with her boy. It is my first acquaintance with her and I'm so pleased. She is so pleasant and lady like ....The house is over flowing with boys now but when they all get to work in real earnest I imagine there will be very little noise and confusion. The last news from home very astonishing; that Daddy and Mammy Eliza had gone down on Friday to Ashland to see Sue. Mammy Eliza's first journey on the cars! Daddy's eyes are so bad that I fear he is not able to take care of himself and for that reason Mammy Eliza was induced to go. Oh, how troubled I feel to think of Daddy's being so blind and I fear there is no hope of their getting better. We will all have to exert ourselves and be eyes for him as we can and let him feel his loss as less as possible. Oh that he may be able to see God's hands in his affliction and to feel that He wishes all things well. A long letter from Sue but it was written before the arrival of The Pantopians at Ashland. They returned on Monday . ....[Letters written and received.]Mammy Eliza...is perfectly charmed with her visit to Ashland. Says Sue has such a sweet home. She met with one of her childhood friends. I will have much to hear when I get home again ....Sister Mary and I walk to The Creek and call. Miss Jones walks a part of the way back with us. She is not troubled much with diffidence. On Friday night after prayers, Bob and I have the school room to ourselves and take a long confidential chat. How I wish I could do something to turn his thoughts to the right channel, to aid him in his search for that "Pearl of Great Price." Call at The Creek. Miss Jones and I have a swing together. I have a long chat with Jimmy [Lewis] and he tells me of his troubles. I wish I could help the poor boy but it is a matter in which a third party would do no good so I can only give him my sympathy. A letter from Nanny Anderson. She tells me David [Anderson from Missouri] has left [Virginia Military Institute at] Lexington. I'm very sorry ....[Letters received] ....News from Miss Vallant. She will be here the last of next week so I conclude not to go home on Monday but stay to meet her ....
Sept. 9-15
A sermon from Mr. Boyden from the text "Lord, what wilt thou have me to do." The Holy Communion is administered. Finish reading Kostis book On That Holy Faith ....A quiet walk in the morning with sister Mary and Mr. Coffman. Monday a call from Mary Walker and Miss Sara Terrel. Mary Walker has commenced knitting a counterpane and she is such a machine to knit that it will no doubt soon be finished ....[Letters written
and dinner guests.] Cousin Howel comes for me on Red Eye Wednesday morning and I go home with him where Aunt Sally and I have planned to dine. Have such a jolly day. Both Cousin Sarah and Aunt Sally seem to try themselves to make me laugh. Miss Jones and her school are all busy so I have the old folks all to myself. Sister Mary comes for me in the evening in the waggon and we go to prayer meeting. I spend a day and night with Aunt Sally this week. Alice [Lewis] and I ride to Cobham hoping Miss Vallant might possibly arrive, certainly expecting a letter but returned without either. The letter does not arrive until Saturday and then she says nothing about the time she will arrive. I'm very disappointed for I had so hoped she would come while I was down. Saturday evening we all go chinquapin hunting, succeed in getting about a dozen. Go to Uncle Bob's to supper but am so tired that we conclude to stay all night and Aunt Sally invites me to write to Miss Vallant for her. Have a very satisfactory talk with both Bob and Jimmy today. I heartily wish them both success.
Sept. 16-22
Go to the brick church and heard such a fine sermon from Dr. McGuffey, "Let die the death of the righteous and let my last end be like his." The charateristics of both Balaam and Balak were viewed from several new points to me. Monday I feel quite low as it is being too hard for me to go home. I do not get off until evening when brother Jim takes me up in the Rockaway. Get home before night and find them all well as usual and right glad to see me. Are inclined to grumble that I should have stayed away so long. David and Sam are both here. David soon got enough of Lexington and gave himself leave to take up the march for home. I found a very long letter from Sue waiting for me which I answer in the next few days. Both Peck [her cat] and Bruno [her dog] have improved very much during my absence. Bruno has had a long severe spell of sickness but it seems to have ended in his improvement. I go to work in real earnest as Sue talks of coming up the middle of October and says I must be ready to return with her. Do a good batch of reading. Robert comes by and spends a day and night with us. His fate has been decided. He is braver than I thought him. Oh, if it would only make a man of him ....Go to town on Saturday and do some of Sister Mary's shopping. Dick has his likeness taken, which is very good. [At this point in the journal, Louisa h copied four pages of poems about the death and burial of a child.]
Sept. 23-29
Sunday, dear Jim's 21st Birthday. Have the old Bishop to preach for us today. The 2nd sermon I have heard from him and it was very fine. Subject the true joys of a Christian. Hear that Miss Vallant arrived at Castalia some day last week. How I want to see her ....News from Sue. She and John will be up on Saturday next. Friday evening I was roused from a nap by the arrival of Miss Vallant, Alice, Ellen and Lizzie Minor. I was so delighted to be with Miss Vallant again. The many things to talk of. The sixteen months that she has been absent from Virginia have seemed long and eventful. They have seemed a lifetime to me. Miss Vallant looks well and expressed great pleasure at being among her old friends. She is a dear good woman and I wish much she would always stay among us. The girls came up on a shopping expedition. I went on to town with them and helped Lizzie. Sue and John get up on the cars this morning and I go back [to Pantops] with them. I'm very glad Sue and Miss Vallant had an opportunity of meeting. Sue has come to make a visitation of some weeks. John expects to return the first of the week. Saturday evening Miss Vallant and the girls leave. I'm sorry they cannot stay until Monday, especially Miss Vallant. Feel as if I had hardly seen her. So many thoughts that I want to talk to her about but I am thankful to have seem her even for this little while. Poor Uncle Hatter's wife, Aunt Maria, died on Friday night. She had been long sick. The old man was very much distressed.
Sept. 30-Oct. 6
....Sam is with us, so with Sue and John we form quite a party. John leaves on Monday and we all go to our regular employments. I can scarcely realize that Sue has ever left us. She seems so natural now that John is not with her. On Wednesday we all go to prayer meeting. Sue and I stay in town as we want to visit some of our friends; spend the next night and day with cousin Lou. Such rainy weather but we manage to wade through the mud on Thursday evening to Cousin Isabella's where we put up for the night and the next day. Spend one night at Orange Dale ....Take tea with Miss McPherson in her own house. She is very pleasant. See something of my dear little Katie. She is soon to leave the county and perhaps be gone all the winter ....We propose a correspondence which I know will be a pleasure to me. Do all my shopping for my trip to Ashland. I think of going down with Sue the last of the month for a visit of several weeks.
Oct. 7-13
A sermon from Mr Meade ....Communion Sunday. After church I walk out with the children to sister Betty's; find her poorly ....It has been so long since I saw any of them that we have much to talk of. Go back to home on Monday morning early when I find the carriage, Mammy Eliza and some of the children ready to take me home. Lizzie Wood goes back with us and stays until Tuesday evening when Charlie Wood comes for her.. I love Lizzie very much and would be glad to count her as one of my friends. A letter from Missouri Lizzie Minor. She has concluded to stay in Missouri and go to school. A wise thinking in my opinion ....I'm very busy this week pickling. Get enough for the year. Daddy, Sue, Mary Lewis and I dine at Mr. Taylors...Bob and David arrive soon after we get home. Poor David! I feel very sorry for him. He has not done what is right but it is a forlorn condition to be cast off, orphan as he is. I hope matters may yet be made up between him and his Uncle Bob. Bob has given up his place as manager at home and has accepted a situation as teacher at Dr. G. Michies in the country. I'm pleased at the change and hope he may be satisfied with his new occupation. Have Mary Walker to dine with us ....[and] cousin Howel and the boys to spend Friday. I had a letter of 12 pages from my darling Emily of the date of the 9th of July. She was fairly settled in her African home in Cavalla and well and happy in her work. She has found a true friend in Mrs. Payne. She does not mention having received my letter written the first of June. John comes up on Saturday for a week's visit. Sue is in the best kind of spirits. What a change getting married makes in people! Indeed I feel quite inclinded to grumble about Sue. We all seem such secondary considerations to John. He is ever foremost in her thoughts. Well it is right, I suppose, but it is not agreeable. We are all much amused at Bruno's attemps to play the agreeable to John's dog Marco. Bruno really shows a great deal of intelligence; shows so much feeling about Marco's being confinded and does every thing in his power to cheer him in his solitude. Lizzie Dee comes Saturday night and the rain keeps her until Monday morning. We have a cozy time.
Oct. 14-20
A rainy Sunday. Tuesday we are all invited to Tom Randolph's. I'm too sick to go; have a quiet day at home with Ma, David and the young ones. A call in the evening from Mr. and Mrs. Meade. Very busy getting ready for Ashland. Cousin Isabella with us and good kind souls as she always is helps us through a difficulty. I get the fixings for the Williamsburg Fair ready; also sister Mary's needle books for Grace Church ....Wrote to Emily Griswold this week...A letter from sister Mary and a sweet note from Carrie Morrill thanking me for the favor of seeing Emily's letter. Jimmy Lewis spends Friday night with us. He seems in good spirits; showed much pleasure in seeing Sue. I like Jimmy, he has some fine qualities. Saturday is a rainy day but we get off and arrive at Ashland to dinner .... Ashland is a much larger place then I had expected to find it. The cottages are around the Hotel and very picturesque and make quite a scene. Mr. James [George Payne Rainsford James, the writer]'s house is pointed out to me. It looks like the abode of a man of letters. I'm heartily received by the whole family but a kind of lonely feeling has taken possesion of me and I find it impossible to rally my spirits. Hope it won't last. Cousin Ann's flowers that have escaped the late frost are very beautiful but flowers at this season make me feel sad. The gentle race of flowers will so soon be lying in their lowly beds but Spring will come when we may again expect the flowers. Sue is very nicely fixed up. Her room is handsomely furnished and she has so many new books, enough to keep me busy all the winter. The birds are looking well. Both Prissy and Mr. Pemberton are away. Old Mrs P. very ill.
Oct. 21-27
Sunday and no church. A beautiful day. Some reading and singing in the evening. Monday, Sue, Ellie [Macmurdo] and I go down by the train to Richmond and take dinner at Pizzini's: Oysters, Beef steak, bread and coffee. How very elegant his saloon is ....Get back to Ashland to supper and find the household in a great state of excitement. Dutchie was working on the sewing machine by lamplight and by some means the lamp was upset, the fluid blazed up and being near the curtains and bed they both took fire. Fortunately help was near at hand and it was extinguished before much real harm had been done. The curtains were burned up, some of the bed clothes and the furniture much injured but it was all insured so there will be no real loss. The room looked so forlorn with the blackened walls, burnt curtains and bed clothes and deformed furniture and when it is all before our eyes how can we help feeling the great mercy that was shown toward Dutchie. The flaming element all around her and she escaped unhurt. How comforting to feel that in times of greatest danger He cares for us and His protecting hand is ever stretched out to save. I attend the fair two days but am too tired to really enjoy it. Did not see many of the horses or the trotting.
The show of needlework, knitting, and fancy work of all kinds was very good but the greatest sight I saw at the fair was a bonnet made in Richmond in 1830. The style was rather different from that of the present day; a great waste of silk and other materials. Saw a procession of The Knights Templars; it was a grand sight with their black dress, waving flourices and glittering lances glistening in the sunlight. One might have imagined the age of chivalry had returned. I do not meet with many acquaintances on the fair grounds though the crowd was very great. None of my friends attend fairs. Wrote home and to Missouri Lizzie Minor. Thursday night stay in to go to a concert given by [Amelia or Adeline] Patti. Her voice is wonderful but I do not enjoy the music. She sang l'Homell but I like to hear Sue sing it. Have a nice time at Mr. Charles Macmurdo's. Mag and Betsy are so sweet and kind and Uncle Charles treats me just as if I was kinfolks .... Go back to Ashland Friday evening to get ready to come in to stay Sunday. Quite a lonely night as I left Sue and all the girls but Nanny in town. Go down on Saturday at two o'clock and find so many girls at Mag's. Spend a quiet evening. Finish reading The Mill on the Floss [by George Eliot.] What a horrible ending! It makes me feel very unconfortable to read such books.
Oct. 28-Nov.3
Betty Scott and I go in the evening to old St. John's Church to hear Mr. Butler read an old sermon but I like it none the less for that. After church I had a shake of the hand from the little man and his wife. He seemed really glad to see me so that I felt repaid for my long walk. The old church is much fixed up. Had lost all of its antiqued looks. I must confess I felt rather sorry to see the changes. It looked so like dresing up one's grandmother in the garb of a modern day. Take tea at Mr. James Macmurdo's and go to hear Mr. Wilson at St. Paul's [Episcopal Church] at night. He gives us such a very fine sermon ....Such sermons must do good. Go back to Mag's to sleep. Go back to Ashland at two o'clock. Prissie got home last week. Mr. Pemberton also came back for a day or so. His mother is better. Wrote to Mammy Eliza and Miss Vallant ....We have such nice sewing parties. I also do some novel reading. We are all much excited on the subject of politics. The election will soon be here and our fate as a nation will be decided. The signs of the times predict of evil days to come upon us. May He who alone doth all things well be with us in this our hour of need ....How often my thoughts go back to this time one year ago, dear James last week on earth. How vividly all the sounds of that dark time are impressed upon my memory. "He, the young, the strong, who cherished nobler longing for this strife by the wayside fell and perished weary with the march of life." Yes, it is weary and not many of us but feel willing at times to lay down and perish when we think of "our Father's house on high" and of the joys that await us there. But we must toil on and in His own good time, the Golden Gates will be opened for us. I'm beginning to feel quite anxious to see home and its inmates. I don't think I can stand it longer then the 1Oth ....Ellie and I get ready and go down by the one o'clock train. Poor Ellie has a terrible fall from the cars after we get to town. We put up at Uncle Charlies ....Some company to tea; they are strangers to me so I'm not much entertained. Ellie and I in trouble about the dykes. John did not send our trunks.
Nov. 4-10
Attend church morning and night at St. James and both times have a beautiful sermon from Mr. Peterkin....After service Betsy, Mag Bryce and I went to the Roman Catholic Church but I did not feel much edified from any thing we saw or heard. Early Monday morning Cousin Ann and Sue come in to go downtown shopping. At twelve o'clock attend a Union Prayer Meeting in one of the Baptist Churches, the object of which was to cast all our cares upon our Heavenly Father for his guidance and protection in these trembling times. Heard some beautiful prayers and addresses from several men of different denominations. Surely we have need of many prayers now when people of this same nation are thirsting for each other's blood. After Church Sue goes home and cousin Ann and I start off on a long tramp. We first go to see Mrs. Richardson. Poor old woman, she looks so feeble, seemed almost childish. She showed much pleasure that I should have thought of her and gone to see her. Cousin Ann took me round by the new poor house and then through the city burying ground. It is a lovely spot and it accorded well with my feelings when wandered through the City of the Dead to remember the scenes which I witnessed that day just one year ago. We too may soon be sleeping that long slumber. Oh, that we may wake up in His likeness. Dine at Pizzini's and get home by eight o'clock. Have two nice letters from home and one from Aunt Ria. I've decided to wait until next week to go home as John is going into the encampment and I would have no one to see me on the cars. I do want to see home quite badly though I'm enjoying myself and all are very kind. Thursday Sue, Dutchie, Miss Rose and some of the others go off to town early in the morning. We have a quiet day to ourselves and finish it off by a coffee dinner. I'm much interested in Lord Montague's Prize. The book was waiting at Ashland which makes it all the more entertaining to me. Friday cousin Ann, Sue and several others including myself go down to town to the encampment. It is at the Fair Grounds and we go out in the cars which are crowded as usual. The encampment is a grand sight; about a thousand horse soldiers and several companies of Infantry dressed out in all the pomp and circumstance of war. It is a solemn thought that very soon these very men may be called upon to lay down their lives in their country's call. Great events are on these gates and each hour brings a varying task. Saturday cousin Ann, Kathleen, the children's maids, and myself go down in the evening to hear blind Tom. He is one of the wonders of this wonderful age. Plays the most difficult pieces on the piano after hearing them played once. Composes himself and even plays on the piano with his hands behind him. He does not know a note; plays altogether by his ear.
Nov. 11-17
I'm sick in bed all day...but better toward evening and down in the sitting room. Monday get packed up in order to send off the trunks to the junction by the four o'clock train. Take quite a long walk after dinner; see more of the country around Ashland than I've done in the whole time that I've been down. It does not bear comparison with our blue mountains and red hills. Oh, how I want a sight of them. How can Sue live away from them? Tuesday morning bright and early, John and I set off in a buggy for the Junction where I am to take the cars for home, sweet home. Have a cold miserable ride of nine miles in an hour and ten minutes and get there just in time. Say good-bye to John and ride off. It is my first trip by myself. Miss Leaton [from The Piedmont Institute] is the only familiar face I see around me but I get on very comfortably and find Dave and Met waiting for me at the Depot. Mary Lewis and Dick are also in town to welcome me. Dick's joy at the sight of me is quite remarkable. Dear little fellow, I believe he does love sister Lou .... Reach home in due time and Oh, how happy I feel. How I wish Sue was along but hope to have her at Christmas. Get unpacked. The children and old folks are all pleased with their presents from Richmond. Mary Lewis and Nannie express great admiration for the pitchers so I'm not singular in my taste ....[Visitors and letters written and received.] A letter from Miss Vallant. She tells me little Maggie has had Scarlet Fever which prevented her being with us this Saturday. She may perhaps come next week. Commenced school and some regular reading. I had a niece born while I was away, sister Betty's ninth child but as I did not know the exact date waited to put it down but it seemed a difficult thing to have it correct and I do not know it yet.
Nov. 19-24
I'm too sick for church. Some reading on the bed. Sam to dinner and supper. Go over to town one evening and get my bonnet and dresses fixed. Call to see Cousin Lou. Miss Vallant is up on Saturday.
Nov. 25-Dec 1
Too cold for church. Have a quiet nice day with Miss Vallant. Sam here all day. He and our little Englishman have a very animated discussion after supper on the policy of the English government towards Ireland. Poor downtrodden Ireland. In considering, think that under any other rule, the Emerald Isle would be the finest portion of this globe and show that the Irish are Not capable of improvement Allow them as many indulgences as you will. Very quiet times this week. I make acquaintance with Miss Jameson. Her style of writing is very sprightly and agreeable though there is little originality about her. Finish Dr. Mahan's Church History and am highly pleased. Get to work on my numerous counterpanes. Commence one of worsted pieces. Mary Lewis at Mr. Maury's all this week. Very lonely in the Lodge by myself ....[Letters written and received.]
Dec.2-8
Advent Sunday. A beautiful sermon from Mr. Nelson. After church go home with Mr. Brown and am introduced to my new niece. She was born October 21, 1860. As yet no name has been decided on for her. Want it to be Mary. Spend Monday with cousin Lou and get home in the evening ....The hogs are killed this week; plenty to eat now. Mary Lewis comes home Wednesday and brings Nanny Maury who stays all the week.
Dec. 9-15
Sunday hear Mr. Meade preach....Sam with us as usual. Cousin Sarah Gilmer and Cousin Lucy Ann Minor dine with us, an unusual procedure for cousin Sarah as she so rarely leaves her home after winter sets in. Sue sends word she will perhaps be up this week. John cannot come until Christamas week. Cousin Sarah [Gilmer] brings me a sweet book .... Wednesday Ma, Nan, Maggie and I dine at Orange Dale and have such a quiet happy day ....Find a letter on my return from Sue telling us she will be up on Friday next ....Get through with Miss Jameson's four volumes; enjoyed it much. Friday Sue and her maid Emily appear. We are so glad to have Sue with us. She is in fine spirits. Saturday we have a heavy fall of snow. David spends the day with me in The Lodge. I'm busy with the block work. Sam to supper. Rather an uncomfortable evening in consequence of unfriendly feelings between Sam and David. At least the unkind feeling and treatment is all confined to David. Sam does not know what it means.
Dec. 16-22
No church on account of the snow and bad roads. Sue and Mary Lewis busy nearly all the week on Xmas goodies. Cousin Howel spends a night with us. I always enjoy seeing him. Some other visitors. Saturday Miss Vallant and Bob arrive. I feel very happy to have Miss Vallent with me. She is one of my few friends now. I'm glad that Bob too is willing to stay with such a quiet party as we are. Poor boy, I wish I could help him in some way but it is a hard matter to tell how to go about it. He is looking badly and I think out of spirits. Thursday the 20th South Carolina goes out of the Union. She is a gallant little state but I fear in this case she has been too hastly. When is it all to end? Troubles are beginning and we are soon to feel them ....
Dec. 23-29
At church and hear Mr. Latane,.. "The Lord looketh in the heart." A good sermon and I enjoyed it as it agreed with a book I've been reading, The Throne of David.
Xmas Eve.
Company with us: Bob, Mr. Coffman, Miss Vallant, John and Sue besides our home circle. Do not feel at all satisfied with myself. Too many hard thoughts felt and expressed against our northern neighbors at a season when we ought to feel peace and good will to all mankind. Oh, what a want of Christian charity there is in us all! What hatred in our hearts towards our own country people and we dare to ask God to prosper our side? It is true we are not the aggressors in this case but there is too much bitter hatred churned up for us to hope for a blessing. Prejudice has taken away all of our patriotism. We have need of many prayers to ask our Friend of Friend to still the tempest in our hearts and give us the grace to see and act now as friends toward each other .
....[Visitors.] Panic Terrors two evening this week and we are all much frightened but it is all incredulous when we come to think it all over the next day. Mary Lewis takes the part of The tragic Muse and acts her part to perfection. We all dine at Dr. Leitch's on Saturday, the only visit I pay during Christmas [as we] had a houseful at home during the whole time. Enjoy Miss Vallant's company much. We have such a cozy time in the Lodge. John does not get up until Xmas Day so we have a good chance at Sue before he comes and it is well we do for after he comes all other persons sank into very secondary affairs in her eyes. It made me feel very badly at first but I tried hard to keep off the green eyed monsters and I can now think of it and see it with calmness. Miss Carrie [Morril] dines with us on Friday. I was very much pleased to see her but was sorry on account of some of the others that she came. The times are too troubled to have Yankee visitors.
North and South don't mix well. The day she is with me, I'm gladdened by a...letter from my own dear Emily. The letter is not more than two months old but the dear child does not mention her health. I cannot help feeling that it is intentional [and] that she is not as well as she would like us to think. A great change has come over her since she settled in her new home. She has been led to think more charitably of the Low Churchmen and included all denominations of Christians since she has been working among them. The thing has proved itself. Lou, she says, "I have not changed my stand point in the least for myself but the Low Church doctrine is the only one for converting the heathens." Oh, how rejoiced some of her friends will be. Says she is very happy. Frieds write her sorrowing letters and talk of the sacrifice she has made of herself when to give up the work would be the only sacrifice she would know. The Taylors to supper one night. Jeff [Jefferson Randolph Taylor] gets in very excited on politics. Don't I wish I could never hear anything more of them again. It seems to call up all the evils in my very evil nature. Finish such a very pretty hood. The color is lavender and it is made by Miss Vallant's directions. She does the fancy part for me. She also did one for Sue and another for Sam. He intends it for a friend. Ma thinks it will be very comfortable for him when he goes from here home after suppers these cold nights. Dave is beginning to come out of his shell. The boys, Bob and Sam, play off a Xmas trick on him which seemed to hurt much at first but did good in the end. All's well that end's well.
Dec. 30-31. 1860
Quite a party indoors: Miss Vallant, Sue, John, Sam, Bob and our household. Monday Dec. 31st the old year is spent.
Within the deep still chambers of the heart
a spectre dim whose tones are like
the wizard voice of time heard from the tomb of ages
points its cold and solemn finger to
the beautiful and holy visions that have passed away
and left no shadow of their loveliness on the dead wish of life.
That spectre lifts the coffin lid of Hope and Joy and Love
and bending sorrowfully above the pale sweet forms that slumbers there
scattered dead flowers over what has passed to nothingness.
The year has gone and with it many a glorious throng of happy dreams.
Its mark is on each brow; its shadow in each heart.
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