University of Virginia Library

New Years 1862

Jan. 1-11

Mr. Coffman comes back on the 3rd of January. He, Sue and I had some of the old hymns in the sitting room after supper. He has many stories to tell us of his camp life. Opens his school on Monday, for scholars has Uncle Bob's and brother Jim's children and William Black; some others are expected. Jabe leaves early this morning (5th) for Leesburg ....Poor little Sis, it seems a harder trial this time than ever ....No church....Sue says good bye for home on Monday ....Sally is duly installed housekeeper this week. Sister Mary is not so well and brother Jim is poorly again so we have quite a blue household. A wedding on the carpet. Alice and Jimmy [Lewis.] The latter tells us about it Sunday but he has not asked the old ones yet. Our sympathies are much excited this week by the receipt of a letter from cousin Laurie Vaughan to brother Jim telling him she was again a widow. The town in which she lived, Occola, was burnt to ashes and her husband shot down in the streets and she, her step daughter and a daughter of brother Sam's who was living with her were obliged to fly to Fayetteville, Arkansas from which place she writes telling him they are there without friends, money or means and asks that he will send her the means to get here or else to Holly Springs. Wants him to keep Lydia Minor [brother Sam Minor's daughter] until she can be sent to her father; says there is no communication between the place in which she is now and Pike County [Missouri, where Lydia's father lives]. It is indeed a sad case and one which we have no right not to respond to for in these times of war and desolation we, none of us, know how soon we too may be needing the charities of this cold world. Brother Jim sends her the required aids through a friend of his in Memphis, Mr. Royster. I write to cousin Laurie to stay where she is until the money reaches her as there was of necessity some delay in sending it off as he had to hear from cousin John Thomas in Richmond .... Well the wooing has sped bravely. Jimmy and Alice are to be married Saturday morning and he goes off to the wars again. Sally and I dine with the Pegrams this week; have a good dinner and a pleasant day. The Creek people to visit us. The evening before the wedding (Friday) Sally, Lizzie and I spend at Castalia where we have a merry time. Quite a number of young friends of Alice's to see the last of her. Saturday morning as soon as Mr. Boyden could be got there, they were married. Mr. Boyden made the service as short as possible and he blundred surprisingly little for him. They did not have a ring. Such a liberty, I think, with our beautiful service but Jimmy said the town of Charlottesville did not offer one that he was satisfied with. After the ceremony breakfast came on; then a large cake was cut up and then they were off to the Depot to say goodbye to Jimmy. Poor fellow, I felt sorry for him, but he knew all before he took unto himself a wife. Said he did not expect any of his comrades would believe him when he told them he left a wife at home but the wedding cake he carried would prove it. How events have crowded themselves in this week; a death, a wedding and aching hearts. Ah, well, such is this life, dark and bright. My dear brother seems worse again. Don't believe he has any hope for himself. [He] seems to be making every arrangement considering his wordly affairs, literally setting his house in order. All his thoughts seem to turn on dying and so truly does he know in whom he believes that the King of Terrors seems to have no terrors for him but oh the aching hearts he shall leave behind. May God in his mercy spare me now this bitter cup but if so it seemeth good in His sight not mine but thy will be done.

Jan. 12-18

At church and hear Mr. Boyden....A solemn warning of mis-spent times. Spend Monday night with Aunt Sally enroute for home. Sally and Alice have to come up to do some shopping and it was proposed that I should come by home and take a peep at them all. The morning is bad, so we do not get off until the middle of the day. Get home before night and find them all glad to see me but Sue and Mary Lewis are in town which is a great disappointment to me. I had been much troubled about Bruno, as I heard he had been caught on a sheep. Daddy does not think he had anything to do with it and was only in company with the other dogs. The low bred curs were punished but my pet was allowed to go scot free. Hope he won't offend again; shall advise him to be more choice in his company hereafter for evil communications etc. etc. Sue and Mary Lewis get home Wednesday evening so I have a peep at them. The carriage comes by Thursday for me and we get back [to Music Hall] sometimes before night; find the invalids better.

From the 17th of January to the 16th of March I kept no Journal.

[I] could not take it with me; am sorry now I did not make a note of the many events that were daily occuring around me as their exact dates would be a gratification to me now. I can only sum up the most important:

Sister Mary is very poorly most of the time. She gives up the the baby to Miss Pidy Johnson who keeps her up in Lizzie's room and cares so kindly for her. The little thing grows fast and is so sprightly. Sally acts as Brother Jim's nurse and is of so much comfort to him; indeed, I don't know what the household would do without her. She is all things to them all-servants, baby and the dear sick Brother. After the first few weeks she stays in his room at night as it is necessary for Sister Mary to get regular sleep in her weak condition. Little Sis and I have some hours of real enjoyment ....There is so much that I can talk so freely to her about. We have nice times in our room when she is not needed to attend to the invalids; do some little visiting but our hearts are too sad about the Dear Brother to enjoy it fully. I fear I'm but little comfort to him in the way of nursing or help, being poorly in health, but he seems to like to have me near him and talks very confidentially to me. Indeed I flatter myself that I'm one of the few that really know him. I do a quantity of writing both for him and Sister Mary; notes for her and letters and papers of all kinds for him. When I first got down at Xmas he seems to have no hope for himself, has made every preparation to die but we tell him it is sinful and it is his duty to make every effort to live, for the doctor tells us the worse symptom of his disease is his bitter despondency, so he seems to try and cheer up and at one time I believe he really thought himself better and talked so hopefully. At one time, about the middle of Feb., took a notion that visiting would do him good so we went to The Creek one Saturday, the 15th if I remember rightly, and stayed through Tuesday. He seemed to get better in spirits if not in body. Cousins Sarah and Howel were so kind and did all in their power to make our stay pleasant. Indeed cousin Sarah seems to look upon him as an elder son and she never missed an opportunity of doing him a kindness and Cousin Howel too was so kind. He came two or three times a week to see him. Indeed the neighbors all were very attentive. Mr. Pegram, in particular, was of such comfort to him. He came often and always made it a point to talk to him of his soul's welfare and to a man who believed himself nearing that point "where we lay our burdens down" this talk was most acceptable [as] he told me .... Mr. Boyden too was so attentive, indeed all were.

We were all very hopeful of him-some symptoms of his disease were improved but still he seemed to grow weaker. Sometime about the first of March [he] took to the chamber. Heretofore he had always stayed in the sitting room; had a couch in there that he could lie on when tired but finally got too weak to move from the chamber. Every day or so he would walk, if strong enough, to or be lifted in the rocking chair into the sitting room for a half hour or so but soon wanted to be carried to the chamber. His patience during the whole time commanded my admiration. He talked to me so often about dying; seemed to know no fears for himself for he had long since set his house in order and all seemed right to him. He knew he had much to hope for, for few men have as happy a home as he but if it was God's will he was willing to give up all. All he feared was that he was not patient enough under the trials of sickness. One Sunday night I remember his talking so much about dying and concluded by repeating that beautiful hymn of Moores, "There is nothing true but heaven." The last verse seems to strike him more.

Yes, he has now found that calm. I never saw him give way to his feeling but on one occasion when his little baby girl was brought to him. He took her into his arms and burst into tears. That upset both sister Mary and I and he never saw the child that he did not say "I love little baby, poor little baby." Often Sally and I would say, "Why do you call her a poor little baby for I'm sure she seems to be in the enjoyment of every comfort?" but he would never reply. We felt and feared that he meant she would so soon be left without a Father's care but tried to persuade ourselves that he meant she had not so much attention paid to her in consequence of his receiving so much care and attention. He talked so much to his children about dying; begged when he was gone that they would not cease to talk about him, to make his name a household word, to visit his grave daily and put flowers in their season on it. Oh, how thoughtful he was of me, imagined when he got worse I suffered more. Indeed it always so happened. I tried to be brave and not give way but he seemed always to know when I was suffering. And on more than one occasion when I was feeling so miserable about him, I was called into him and he asked me either to go to Charlotte, Aunt Sally or Cousin Sarah and spend the night for him [as he] would feel better satisfied about me and I've gone with such an aching heart but I felt it my duty to do anything he asked. I sometimes thought I had better be at home for any comfort I gave him but he now seemed willing for me to leave him. I believe he liked to have me about him though I was of no use. I believe I was the favorite sister though both the others could be of more account to him but I considered it my right, not that I believe I was more deserving of his love, but both the others have husbands to care for them and I was all alone. His wife says he thought more of me and my comfort than anyone in the house. I feel that it was a great comfort and privilege to be with him and to see how calmly he could prepare to visit the King of Terrors for he seems to have lost all fear of him. So convincing is it to me that a Christian alone can feel this. God grant that this trying time may be to my soul's good! About the last of January or first of Feb. (I don't remember exactly) we had a visit from Mr. Buchanan of Missouri. He came on public business. Quite a triumphant coming back for him for he left Virginia a poor wanderer and returned as a colonel in the Confederate Missouri army. I never imagined I could be as glad to see him but he brought us the latest news of our Missouri friends. My brothers he says are all right and most of the other kin. Brother Peter is in [Sterling] Price's Army; was wounded in the foot in the battle of Lexington, [Missouri.] He left Cousin Laurie Vaughan in Arkansas; seems to think her condition was not so bad as she had imagined it. He expected to find Lydia Minor with us as Cousin Laurie had started her some time since. We feel a little uneasy about her but know not what to do. Mr. Buchanan seems very hopeful that Missouri will finally succeed in gaining her independence with Price for her governor. It was a great treat to Sally seeing anyone from Missouri as she had so many to ask for. Some few of her friends she heard were on the wrong side but most of them are right side up. Soon after Mr. Buchanan's departure we had a long letter from the dear old Col. Brother. He wrote from Arkansas where he had gone to look after Cousin Laurie. He writes in fine spirits about the future; still belonged to Price's Army. Gave a desolate picture of the ravages the Feds had practiced upon the Missouri homes wherever they had been. As there is a just God in Heaven, what a long reckoning theirs will be at that day when all men will be called upon to give an account of their actions! In the meantime we hear from Lydia she is in Amherst county with Mrs. George Vaughan and her friends. We expect her over but sister Betty stops her in town and she stays at Rugby for about three weeks. I'm sorry she was stopped for I felt anxious for her to see her Uncle Jim while he was well enough to enjoy her. During this long time I've had frequent letters from the dear home ones. They say they all want to see me much but still think it my duty to be here. Oh, how often I am with them in thought and would be there if I followed my own inclinations but I know I ought to be here and if my dear Brother does not get well it will be a consoling thought to me that I was with him through his sickness though I do often sigh for home. Mr. Coffman commences school the first of January. The children all get on so well. Willie Black is the only boarder but the school was given up about the lst of March as the militia was called out and Mr. Coffman, not wanting to go with them, joined Carrington's Artillery.

March 16-22.

Sally and I spend the night at Castalia ....No church. Young Bob got home from the wars late Saturday night-15th. He had been sick and came home to recruit. He paid us a visit at Music Hall early Sunday morning; is looking well and seems glad to be among us again. He and Sally have quite a pass of words as to who is the rightful hero of the Leesburg fight. Sally goes up Monday to town to visit the new niece ....She comes back on Wednesday bringing Lydia with her. We are all much pleased with the little stanger. She is about 16 but is a perfect child in manners and feeling; is anxious to do all we recommend. Brother Jim is rather more unwell this week. Does not improve as fast as we hoped. I fear we are too hopeful. Have some nice little visits to Uncle Bobs. It revives my spirits to go over there; we are all so sad at home. This week we had a great many reports of The Army of The Potomac falling back from Manassas. What can it all mean? On Saturday evening I take Lydia to Castalia to spend the night and to see her kinfolks ....

March 23-29

No church. The roads this winter have been very bad; hardly possible for a carriage to get over them. I'm afraid I will get to be quite a heathen so seldom have an opportunity to go to church. A lecture from brother Jim on some of my short comings. Mean to try and do better. Also a very confidential and comforting chat with him which set my mind much at ease ....Dave came back Monday from a trip to Cousin Peter Johnson's where he had been visiting. Brother Jim lent him a horse and he was to have been back more than a week ago. We concluded he had been pressed into service at Gordonsville. I wrote to Cousin Peter to know something about him but he, Dave, turned up before my letter had gotten far. Dave saw Jabe in Orange and he sent word he would be with us in a few days. A large part of the Army from Manassas are now quartered in Orange. People all around are getting very uneasy for fear we are to be overrun by the Yankees. I feel no fear myself with the Army of the 21st of July between us. Great excitement about the militia being called out. Mr. Carver [the overseer of Music Hall] will have to go though brother Jim is trying to get him off. Mammy Eliza writes me word Mr. Dowill [the overseer of Pantops] has not gone and they think they can get him off as a police is necessary in the neighborhood so few gentlemen are left around them and there are so many blacks ....As I can't go to church this Holy season, I try to make my reading as profitable as I can; have read some beautiful books, among the Susan Wilborne, a book that I've wished much to read as my dear Emily recommended it to me while she was living in this neighborhood. I read also Divine Contentment, a dear little volume and which gave great comfort to brother Jim, Practical Religion Exemplified, an interesting and edifying book, though its tendency was towards high churchism. I'm now reading Precious Thing of God. Brother Jim better the last of the week and in good spirits. Sally and I look all the week for Jabe and wonder why he is so long in coming. Sally is uneasy, as she has had no letter but the cars and railroads belong to Jeff Davis now and letters are very uncertain.

March 30-April 5

Sunday a bad day. The heaviest sleet I can remember. Quite an excitement Sunday night. After we had retired for the night, a knock was heard at the door. We concluded at once that Jabe had come. Lydia and I rushed down stairs in our night riggin but we jumped at the conclusion too soon and was doomed to disappointment. It turned out to be one of the young Magruders. Brother Jim thinks I had better make a little visit home now as he is much better and Jabe writes word he sees no chance for him to get off, so I fix on Tuesday but Monday night Jabe arrives very unexpectedly so I give out going just now. Jabe is very poorly; is confined to his room part of the time. Indeed he got off on sick leave. We are so happy to see him but sorry to see him so poorly but better have him sick then not at all. Brother Jim not so well from the middle of the week. He is more feeble then I've seem him yet. Jabe's won't give me much satisfation about him. I believe he thinks it a hopeless case. For a week past some symptoms of his disease have changed entirely. He has now terrible vomiting spells. It is difficult to keep anything on his stomach. I fear it is a change for the worse. A letter from home and one from Bob. He is now near Warrenton. A visit from my Black Mammy. It made me feel real happy, the sight of anything from home .... Miss Pidy leaves us Friday as her mother is sick and needs her care ....I'm sorry on the baby's account but she is a good little thing. Seems almost to know there are aching hearts around her and it was expected of her not to add to them. Mr. Coffman back for a few days, he is trying hard to get Mr. Carver off. Jabe, Sally and I take tea at Uncle Bob's one evening, the only visit he makes during the time he is up. We have nice times after we go upstairs at night. Lydia's and my room we use as a parlor; have a nice fire. He and Sally sit around and enjoy their pipes and we talk and read until bedtime. Since Brother Jim has been so sick we have to go to our rooms about dark so the house can be quiet so we got quite in the habit of entertaining our lady visitors in our chamber. Jabe was the only one of the male tribe who was permitted to invade our sanctum.

April 6-12

Sunday a bright day, but no church ....Feel very anxious about brother Jim, he is certainly getting weaker every day though his spirits are good. So much rainy weather this week. Jabe does not get off until Thursday. He hears at Gordonsville that his Regiment has gone to Richmond so he has followed on horseback. Hope he will not get into any trouble. Thursday Brother Jim seems to be about the same. He seems anxious for me to have that visit home but says I must come back soon. Friday he arranges for Jimmy to drive me up Saturday. Talks very cheerfully about it. I'm with him a good part of the day but in the evening Sally and I go to Aunt Sally's and take supper as I want to see them all before I go up. We get back about sundown and Sister Mary tells us brother Jim has been suffering much while we were away. Still we did not apprehend that he was worse. Sally stayed with him during the night and as was her habit came several times to my room. Now early in the night she carne up and told me brother Jim talked and looked very strange; had had a terrible vomiting spell after which she thought he fainted. I tried to believe it was the effect of the opium which he took in quantities. Sally said if he did not soon get quiet she would send off for the doctor. About two o'clock she came up again and told me he was sleeping very sweetly. I felt satisfied then that all was right. On going down to breakfast the next morning I found Sister Mary and the rest as cheerful as usual. Sally reported that brother Jim had rested badly early in the night but had been sleeping soundly since before two o'clock. He was then still asleep rather an unusual thing for he generally took his breakfast early. In the meantime my things were packed for home and the carriage at the door but I felt that I could not start until I had told the dear Brother, Good Bye. Had been into his room several times but he still slept. In a little while I was sent for in the chamber and on going in saw directly that something was the matter. Sister Mary and Sally were both weeping. Sally said to me, "Lou, you must put off your going home now. We fear brother Jim is very much worse." She said sister Mary concluded it was time he had his breakfast and said he must be wakened but when they tried to rouse him he was perfectly unconsious of all around and then for the first time we felt that the sweet sleep was the sleep of death, that his awakening would only be in a brighter, fairer world. How glad I felt I had not started. The house was soon filled with kind friends and though their sympathy was sweet they could bring no real comfort to the many aching hearts. The doctors said he had been dying all night. Dr. Douglas as soon as he saw him seemed to feel there was no hope but cousin Tom [Meriwether] with his kind heart worked on him to the last. All through his sickness, his only fear was that when called upon to "cross that dark room" his flesh would rebel and there would be a hard struggle ere his spirit could take its flight but, Thanks be to God!, his last hours were as calm and peaceful as the sleep of happy childhood. It seemed like going to sleep and waking in heaven. We watched by him all day and though his breathing was very perceptible he was not conscious once; lay in this condition until after sundown when his breath left him and all that was left to us on earth of that much loved Brother was the emaciated tabernacle of clay. Wood's poem on "A Death Bed" was now a reality to me.

We have much to comfort us in giving up this dear Brother for he was a Christian not only in name but in thought and deed. He had long since put his house in order and only waited for his Master's call and when that call came he was found ready. The voice at midnight came. He started up to hear. A mortal arrow pierced his frame. He fell--but felt no fear.

We committed to the earth all that remained of him on Monday the 14th of April. Lizzie and I picked out a sweet spot for him in the little graveyard in the garden. He sleeps by Uncle Jimmy's [James Hunter Terrel] side. We thought that would be his choice. Had our beautiful church service read. Mr. Boyden made some very pretty and appropriate remarks on the Chapter read. Lizzie and I requested he would not preach a sermon as we had so often heard him say he did not wish any. Lizzie through it all acted like a brave woman. I know how dear her Father was to her and bitter it was to her giving him up but for her Mother's sake she seemed to try to keep up and she acted her part nobly during all of that trying scene. Poor Sister Mary. Hers is indeed a loss. She tried hard to bear up but at times her burden seemed too heavy for her but few wives had such a husband as hers. She looked to him for advice even about the most trivial matters. So much more now will she feel her loss. I trust the Comforter is with her and has left some of his sweet peace in her heart but time alone can heal the wound. May God in His mercy not leave her comfortless. The dear boys grieved much at giving up their Father for they were tenderly attached to him. They cannot know now what a loss theirs is. May they ever have before them his good example and precepts and follow in them. One of his dying wishes was that his children might be raised Christians. Dear little Annie Laurie, to think she can never know the blessing and happiness of a Father's love. But our Heavenly Father has promised His protection of the fatherless. Cousins Sue and Thomas Watson are with us and real friends they have proved themselves. They are both such comforts to Sister Mary. Brother Jim loved and trusted them both. I feel as if I never knew Cousin Thomas before. He has acted more like a brother to Sally and I then a cousin; seems so anxious to assist us in any way in his power, indeed it seemed balm to the wound in our hearts in giving up our dear Brother to find we have another friend raised up to us in our need. And Sally, dear little Sally! What a brave little woman she has proved herself! What a comfort she was to the poor suffering brother. Gave up so many of her own comforts and pleasures so willingly to minister to his needs. I did not know what a real woman she was until I saw her tried. It will be a sweet thought to her to remember how faithfully she nursed him so long. Who can doubt the hand of God in bringing her to us in the hour of need. Dear little Sis, and how much I owe you too for how often have you acted as nurse and comforter to me. When I think of brother Jim's family and what they lose in him I feel as if I had hardly a right to grieve for myself but Oh, who will I ever find who will take the place of the Brother, Friend and Teacher he has ever been to me. So ready as he ever was to listen to all my troubles, my fears and my joys and to aid me with his council. Oh, what a feeling of desolation comes o'er me when I fully realize he is no longer among us. Thank God I've many and dear friends left but it is very hard to give up my Brother but God is good and just and Himself hath done it; therefore, it must be right. The servants all show much feeling at losing their master. A true friend he has been to them all.

April 13-19

A rainy Sunday. There are sad hearts indoors today. I take my last look at my dear brother. Oh, how calm and peaceful he looks even in death. On Monday as I've already said he was given back to his Mother Earth. Oh, what a lonely desolate feeling filled my heart on returning to the house; its light and joy was gone. Truly there is a desolate hearth stone now. Sister Mary's friends think it best for her to go back with cousin Sue for a few weeks so it is decided that she is to go tomorrow and take the baby and Lizzie with her. Sally and I will go to Uncle Bob's until we can go up on the cars. Mary Lewis comes down on Sunday to see me ....Tuesday all is stir and bustle until they all get off. I'm sorry to see sister Mary go for it will be so hard when she comes back. It will be almost going over the whole thing again. Poor thing, she seems almost broken hearted; often wondering over the house. Oh, how sad it looks and feels. We too take our departure. It is locked up. Cousin Sarah Lewis and Miss Pidy will clean up before sister Mary returns ....Wednesday, Sally, Jimmy, Willie [Jimmy and Willie Minor are brother Jim's two oldest sons] and I go over to the dear old house and go in. Oh, what a chill I feel at my heart at the sight of its deserted rooms. I go for a little while to see Cousin Sarah. She has been a real friend to us all. Thursday we start home. Oh, what a joyful sound that is in my ear! Have to walk to the Bridge on account of the bad roads where the waggon is waiting for us. Little Sis goes on up to sister Betty's where she will stay a few days and then go back to Aunt Sallys and wait for sister Mary. I feel so sorry we are to be separated; have been so much together of late that we are almost necessary to each other. I find them all well at home with their hearts full of love and sympathy for me. It is a good happy feeling to think I'm once more at home. Little Dick says, "please, sister Lou, don't ever go away again." Good Friday, the 18th, I did not get to church. Find a great deal to do around me and try to take hold at once ....

April 20-26

Easter Sunday and a rainy day. Very quiet, happy times. Begin school....[Letters received and written.]

[Sally]has gone back to Castalia. The little woman is restless and uneasy about Jabe. She has [not] heard from him since he got to Yorktown. Saturday evening our eyes are gladdened by the sight of Bob. His Regiment is between here and Gordonsville and he has been up twice in the last week or ten days. Reports reach us this week that the Yanks are very near us on the west but we have Stone Wall Jackson to watch them so I can't feel very much frightened ....

April 27-May 3

A beautiful Sunday over head but we have no way to get to church. It is too muddy to walk. Monday we walk over [to town] and I do some shopping. Get a letter from Mrs. Pegram which troubles not a little. It is about Susan [Louisa's slave woman who is hired out.] I get Daddy's advice. He thinks I ought to see Mr. Brown so accordingly I walk over Tuesday and get him to meet me at Dr. Leitchs. Would have gone to his house but it rained. I write a very nice note to Mrs. Pegram. Also a letter to Sally asking her not to let Susan suffer. Wednesday morning feel used up by my two long walks. So much to do in the garden but I do not feel equal to it .... Mary Lewis, Nan and Dave out dining so I'm all alone . ....[Letters written.] Get the garden finished .... The news is confirmed the last of the week of the surrender of New Orleans. The whole affair is a mystery -traitors in the camp, I fear .... [Jabe] came Thursday and back again Saturday. He is poorly. The Peninsula does not agree with him. Sis is thinking strongly of going to Richmond as there she may have an opportunity of seeing him oftener. She wants me to come down in case she does go and I will go for a day or so if she sends up the carriage. Sister Mary and the girls still in The Green Springs. She does not think of returning for a few weeks yet. Getting on with the quilts bravely. Read this week Canlincourt's Napoleon and His Times. Saturday evening have a nice walk on the river with Dave, Nan and Bruno. The times very exciting. We hear Stone Wall Jackson is in Albemarle. Can't imagine what is intended.

May 4-10

Go to church and hear such a beautiful and warming sermon from Mr. Philip Slaughter ....A quiet happy Sunday. Read some of Kingsley's Sermons. At home all by myself this week as Mary Lewis stays in town with cousin Lou. She is much interested in the soldiers kitchen where the girls around in town go to cook. A letter from Bob which causes me much heartache. Someone seems to have been meddling between us. I write at once and make some explanations which I think are due to both of us. Frequent notes from little Sis. She is still hoping to send for me. Sister Mary still away. How I do want to see Sally. The news is confirmed this week of the surrender of New Orleans. Our prospects seem dark just now but we must never give up while there is a man, woman and child left in the South.

May 11-17

Do not go to church. Too warm to walk. Monday Dave brings me word Sally and Aunt Sally will be up on the cars Tuesday and she wants me to meet them in town and go up to Rugby with them so I go over. We met at the Depot and after some shopping go up to sister Betty's .... I did not care much as I wanted to see sister Betty, brother Brown and the young ones. Sally and Aunt Sally could not keep quiet longer than Thursday morning, so they started off in the rain. I thought there was no necessity for me to go so I hold on until Friday, 11 o'clock when the rain has stopped and some blue sky appeared, so I went to town and got Jimmy Leitch for an escort and proceeded home; had a muddy walk but nothing to hurt me ....We are all excited about Richmond this week. Hear it is in danger. Hope it will not be given up without some show of resistance, as was New Orleans, Norfolk and some other places. I do not believe it will fall. A long letter from Sue. She seems in a troubled state of mind; is too despairing I think ....A letter from Bob Saturday evening which puts my mind a rest. All's right now. I can but wonder who the busy body is; have my thoughts about it which I will not trust even to you, Old Journal. Vegetation is looking so lovely now but a sadness will come o'er me whenever I look around for how soon may the hand of the spoiler make our beautiful country a wreck? But God is good and just and even though he may allow our enemies to desolate our land, in His own good time He will make it seem right to us. May we look to Him at all time of our tribulation and feel that He works all things well.

May 18-14

No church again. It is too far to walk and my nose cold is so bad; worse then I've ever had it before. I have done much reading. Some of Dr. Cumming's books. In a letter from Sue this week she writes us the good news, I don't know the authority, that Virginia is to be defended at all costs. General [Bradley T.] Johnson it seems had a hand in this move. Every preparation is now being made to resist the enemy getting to Richmond. Some hard fighting is expected in the next few weeks. May God give us the victory. A letter from Sis. She tells me Sister Mary is expected up this week. I hope much she will come for many reasons. Sally says Jabe is about 18 miles from Richmond; has been having hard times. For two days his whole Regiment, officers and all lived on parched corn, one ear and a half per day. He did not complain and wrote in good spirits. I'm very poorly this week with my nose cold; in bed one day.

May 26-31

No church. A letter from Bob. He is sick at Madison Court House. We hear Old Jackson is clearing Western Virginia of the Yankees. It is generally believed we are soon to go into Maryland. A great battle is expected to come off in the neighborhood of Richmond. We feel very uneasy about Sue but Friday she, John, Kathleen, Ellie and Emily [Kathleen and Ellie Macmurdo are John's sisters and Emily is Sue's slave maid] make their appearance among us. They have been driven off by the Yankees from Ashland and have come to stay with us until the fate of Richmond is decided ....Sally sends me a letter from Jabe; he is in six miles of Richmond. He has lost Buc. [Jabe] is acting Senior Surgeon of the Regiment. Seems anxious for the fight to come off; is very certain of success. Sally is talking of coming to see me as soon as she can get any one to stay with Sister Mary; does not like to leave her by herself.

June 1-7

No church. Roads too bad. Do so much work this week. Fighting all around us. Old Stone Wall in the West and Johnson before Richmond. The River is now so obstructed...they cannot get up to Richmond in their boats so they will have to fight us on land. Thursday night we are all roused up to hear the bad news that Dr. Leitch is dead (June 5.) He died very suddenly Thursday night after he had gone to his room. His death is a public calamity; hardly any man could be more generally lamented both by rich and poor for he was a friend to all .... Dr. Leitch was buried on Sunday with masonic honor. Poor Sam [Dr. Leitch's son, who is in the Confederate army] did not get up.

June 8-14

I did not go to the funeral being too poorly. Kat, Elie and I have a quiet day at home. Bob comes Monday. He is very poorly. Brings me a letter from Sally telling me she started for Richmond today. Oh, I'm so troubled that I have not seen her; had just planned to go down and bring her up. She had written the middle of last week to tell me Jabe had sent for her and she would go in a few days but the letter did not reach me until Tuesday evening. She sends me a letter from Brother Peter. He is in Arkansas; has been in Arkansas since sometime in the winter. [He] was too feeble to be with the army now but as soon as he gets better will join Beauregard. Says the Feds had committed great excesses in Pike County [Missouri.] ....Mammy Eliza and I go down to Edge Hill to see Mary Walker. I fear she is not long for this world. Have some troopers to dinner. They give us the news of Jackson's march through the [Shenandoah] Valley and back again. Old Stone Wall has been

reinforced now and we hope he may soon clear western Virginia of the hated foe. We hear he sent to Jeff Davis for 10,000 more troops and no orders. The brave veteran, General [Turner] Ashby was buried at the University Cemetery on Sunday last. He was shot by the enemy in one of Jackson's fights of last week. A call from Jimmy Lewis. He intends to leave the Lighthorse [Cavalry Brigade of Albemarle County.] Dave is to take his place. Bob with us very poorly .... [Letters written.] Wednesday I'm very poorly; am troubled in mind as well as body. Nothing doing before Richmond. Say the mud is too deep. Oh if we only had a Jackson there to overcome difficulties.

June 16-21

Hear Mr. Meade [preach.]....Jabe [writes he] has seen General Price and he told him of brother Peter. Said he knew him well. Friday the 13th Jackson's army passed on their way down. No one knew where they are to go but General Jackson and what a day of excitement it was. The whole place seemed to belong to the soldiers: house, yard, garden, indeed the whole farm. I was feeding soldiers from early in the morning until late at night. [I] had to give up my bed to some of them. We were visited in the parlor by Generals [Richard Stoddert] Ewell and [Arnold] Elzey and Major Ballard and a number of other officers. General Ewell was such a funny old fellow. I enjoyed him. He seemed to have the simplicity of heart of a child but was dressed very rudely while his sub Elzey dyked out in all his finery looking as if he felt so fine. Major Ballard was very pleasant and good natured; promised me a button from General Jackson's fighting coat. We tried hard to get the Generals to tell us where they were going and what was to be done but they got off from all questions without satisfying our curiosity or committing themselves. We all go up to the gates at the "Persimmon Tree" to see the passage of the Grand Army. Truly the sight of those poor tired ragged soldiers lessens my fancied pictures of the pride, pomp and circumstance of glorious war. Surely our cause must be good that these men engaged in for it caused them to leave their homes and many comforts and endure all this suffering to gain it. "The conquest we must for our cause it is just. And this be our motto, 'In God is our Trust." The Battle Flags looked faded and tattered and torn as though they had braved the battle and the breeze but soiled and stained as they were their bearers bore them aloft with a proud step. Cousin Howel was here the first of the week on his way from Ivy Creek. He give us the particulars of Cousin Fielding's [Thomas Fielding Lewis] death which occurred on the 13th or 14th, I don't know which. Poor Cousin Howel looked so sad. He was a devoted brother.

June 22-28

At Church and hear Mr. Meade....Soldiers at all hours coming in, the rear guard of the Army. A bloody battle is expected about Richmond. Oh, that it may end the war and give us back our homes and dear ones. Bob and Dave go off to join the Light Horse on Monday. It is with a heavy heart that I say good bye to them ....May the God who neither slumbers nor sleeps keep them both in his keeping and bring them back to us in safety. I make Jabe's preserves this week. Sugar is getting very high-75cents for very dark brown ....[Letters received.] Also one from niece Lizzie telling me David Crocket [a slave at Music Hall] had gone off, they suppose with the army. Mr. Brown goes to Gordonsville and gets him back. The great battle at Richmond has begun-June 27.

June 29-July 5

At church and hear Mr. W. M. Wilson....Reports come to us that we are whipping the Yanks about Richmond ....We have driven the Yankees back some distance down the river from Richmond, 30 miles I believe, but they are not routed yet. Their loss has been very great but notwithstanding they made a masterly retreat which speaks well of [General George B.] McClellan's generalship. We too have lossed heavily some of our bravest and best. Among the number is my young friend Joe Prentes. He was too noble a boy to fall a prey to Yankee bullets but the cause in which he was engaged inspired him to a martyrs' death ....The papers say Jabe's Regiment was in the fighting and that his General (Richard Griffith) was mortally wounded; killed. A note from Bob. He is sick at a Mr. Tally's in Hanover County. Dave is with his Regiment.

July 6-12

Hear Mr. Slaughter preach ....[Visits made.]

July 13-19

Hear Mr. Meade [preach.] We hear Old Stone Wall Jackson is in motion again. Hope his road don't lie in this direction again. On to Washington is my hope now. [If we] don't the Yanks will try us at Richmond again though McClellan does promise his braves that he will yet have that hold of rebeldom. I imagine there will be some skidoodling when they hear Old Jackson is on the wing. Oh, if we could only burn Washington and carry fire and swords to the enemies camp and let them feel the horrors they have been inflicting on our poor people perhaps they might be brought to their right minds. But the God of Battles alone can decide our cause and to Him must we trust that when He wills it all will be right. A letter from Sally at last. She has not been sick but just put off writing first because she was unsure about the fighting and then she felt so little like writing; says she won't do so again. Finish piecing my silk quilt. I'm much rejoiced for I've been at work on it off and on for three years. Lizzie Dee makes us a visit of a day and two nights this week. Quite an event! Another note from Bob; he is again with his company. Dave is pleased and Capt. Gibbs thinks he will make a good soldier ....Mary Lewis and Kathleen up at the Delevan kitchen all day Friday though it is raining hard. Mary Lewis goes generally rain or shine. She in much interested in the work. It is no doubt a just institution for poor sick soldiers. I've been invited to take a day at both the kitchens in town but declined thinking there were others better able for the work then myself ....

July 20-26

No church. The roads too bad. Some sober reading for the day ....[Letters received including one from] Bob written Friday l0th. He was on his way to the Rapidan to meet the Yankees who were said to be 50 or 60,000 on that river ....The army news of Saturday is that the Yanks are at Orange Court House in force and a battle was expected there.

July 27-Aug. 2

At church and hear Mr. Meade....Have a ride to town with John and Sue. Treat myself to a copy of Byron, bad speculation now as the Yankees may be upon us at any time. On Wednesday 30th, Sue, Kattie and Ellie leave us. Oh, what a void their departure makes both in my heart and the house. We have been together long enough to be quite necessary to each other. I love the girls both much but Kathleen's my pet. She seems to suit my fancy best; is ever confiding with me and may not the mystery surrounding her birth draw her to me by exerting my sympathy and interest ....I sometimes, in thinking of her fortune's lot, fear that there must be breakers ahead for her in her voyage of life ....Quite a panic about the manners of the Yankees under the barbarian Pope this week. They are at Stewartsville and are expected in Charlottesville at any hour. Old Stone Wall must be thoughtful just now for not even a report of him is heard. He has some plans in his mind. No doubt we will soon know something of it .... We hear Lizzie Dee has left The Delevan. Something unpleasant happened in the house and she thought it right to leave. Don't suppose she will ever return there.

Aug. 3-9

At church and hear Mr. Slaughter.... After church Mary Lewis and I go to cousin Lou's [Lou Leitch, the widow of Dr. Leitch] to meet Sam who comes up for a short visit. It is a sad coming back for him and he seems to feel it much. Monday evening I go up to Rugby; find them all glad to see me. Two of [Turner] Ashby's Cavalry are staying there. One of them interests me much in that lamented Hero .... I've no work now. Feel quite strange. Everything in the way of clothing is so dear don't know when I will be able to get anything more. Calico now is a dollar a yard and everything else as dear. I'm thinking of a visit to sister Mary. Have written to ask her to send for me if convenient. Saturday get a letter from her telling me the boys are in hourly expectation of the measles and she does not like to send them from home. I am sorry for her when I think of what is before her. Would like to go down and help her to take care of the children but suppose I must put it off now for I've no way to get down. Also have a letter from Sally Williamson. She and Bert are now at Music Hall. They have been run off from their home in Orange by the Yanks; will stay with their friends in Lynchburg and Cumberland until it is safe for them to venture back to Orange. They did not leave that place until the small battle had come off in the Village of Orange Court House when our forces were driven back by the superior numbers of the enemy ....

Aug. 10-16

I do not go to church; am feeling bad ....We hear there has been a battle near Culpepper Court House at Cedar Mountain on Saturday the 9th in which we whipped the Yanks though our loss was very great. So many wounded in town. Sam sends me some Yankee Trophies .... Working busily on the scrap book. No sewing to do ....

Aug. 17-23

At church and hear Mr. Slaughter.... Reading Macaulay and Miss Esphasth's novels. I write out a revised and corrected edition of my will. All right now just as I want it ....

Aug. 24-30

I do not go to church ....[Letters received and much company.) Hear Sally and Jabe are at Rugby. I go up early Friday morning ....Sally brings me some Yankee Trophies. I do not enjoy my visit to Rugby much. Things are not as they should be. It makes me sick at heart to see and know all ....

Aug. 31-Sept. 6

I do not go to church. Tuesday Jabe, Sally and I come home .... Dave goes up Tuesday evening for Lydia. I'm glad she is here and will get acquainted with all my folks. Dave leaves us for his Regiment Wednesday ....Glorious news from the Army! On the 28-29-30 of August we shipped the Yankees again on the plains of Manassas [Second Manassas or Second Bull Run.] We are now fully enroute for Maryland. Our Cavalry made a brilliant charge.

Sept. 7-13

No church. We hear Bolling Picket was wounded in the last fight and John Mac writes to Daddy to look for him in the hospital in town. He cannot be found; Suppose he was sent to some other place ....Tuesday night the 9th we hear that Cincinatti and Lovington have been surrendered to the Rebs under General Kirby Smith. How blessed our armies have been lately. God grant that peace may soon spread her wings over. (It was a mistake.) We hear that our Army under General Lee are certainly in Maryland. Thursday Jabe, Sally and I start for the lower neighborhood. Walk from Keswick to Mr. Hart's. Find Mr. Hart sick and also little Richard Morris. See a new western cousin, Nick Thomas. We leave in the evening for Uncle Bob's. Aunt Sally gives us such a warm welcome. Lizzie Dee and Ellie are away but come home the next day. Mrs. C. L. Smead is boarding with Aunt Sally. She has some pretty little children but they don't good much. Mrs. Smead is a real lady. I like her much. Saturday I go to visit for the first time my dear Brother's grave. It is hard to realize that green mound holds now all that is left of that once cherished form. A peaceful calm seems to fill my heart while visiting this dear spot. The remembrance of the many happy hours spend with this dear Brother fill up the past. I can think of him ever as one of the Redeemed in That World of Light where I may one day join him. Sister Mary is at the Green Springs so we put up at Castalia until she comes home.

Sept. 14-20

At Grace Church to hear Mr. Boyden.... Make some visits this week. Dine at The Creek with Henry and his wife [Henry Howel and Sarah Clegg Lewis.] I'm glad to see them both. Sally Lewis teaches me to plait straw. Call at Clover Fields. Cousin Peggie looks so old and sad. Mr. Nelson is no better; he cannot last much longer. Cousins Charles and Lou were there. They take me for Sally. It makes quite a laughable story as they think Sally has improved much in her looks, in the few weeks time she left them. Mrs. Pellet is making them (at Cloverfields) a visit. She is so handsome. Talks so beautifully of Music Hall in by gone times. It seems she went to the old place on coming into the neighborhood and it was hard to realize the many many changes since she was last a guest under its hospitable roof. Aunt Sue and Uncle Jimmy sleeping quietly in their corner of the garden.

The old house gone, both yard and garden so changed. Nothing she recognized but old Aunt Rachel! [Aunt Rachel is one of the slaves owned by James Hunter Terrel and freed by his will. She, being very elderly, chose to remain in Virginia in bondage rather than go to Liberia.] ....Jabe leaves us Monday for a visit to Richmond to try for a transfer South ....Thursday the 18th [is] Thanksgiving Day we go to church in the morning and return thanks to our God who has been with us in the late battles. The services were conducted by Mr. [Edward S.] Pegram. Mr. [William Cabel] Rives read the sermon. The Psalms appointed by the church were very beautiful and appropriate being the Psalm of Hymn of Thanksgiving after a Victory appointed in the Prayer Book. "For

The Lord hath done great things for us for which we ought to rejoice." Lizzie Dee and I take a ride to Cobham. Fairy concludes to kick up and I take a graceful turn over her head. Fortunately I escape with a few bruises. It occasions Lizzie Dee much merriment ....

Sept. 21-27

We go to hear Mr. Beach. A good sermon....[and] such a beautiful prayer. He spoke so feelingly of Cousin Mary Ann Minor's family; the afflictions they had lately suffered. She has lost her daughter Annie and one of the younger ones is very ill now. Sister Mary comes home today. I go to see her after dinner; find her quite cheerful and glad to see me. I move over next day to stay. Sally is with me. Jabe comes back to us for a few days. He cannot get ordered South; say they have need for him in Virginia but they promise him a post (settled). Music Hall is so changed; the light of the house is indeed gone. I'm glad I've come back, feel better for it; think Sister Mary is gratified too. Little Annie is such a bright beautiful child; she is the pet of all. What a God send she has proved. Sister Mary seems to be trying hard to be interested in all her affairs. I never thought to see her so active and busy. The boys will go to Lizzie Dee's school. Sister Mary and I settled about Lydia's schooling for last year. She will not go another year. Sally and I am in much trouble. Someone has been very busy talking about the little sister. Well trouble is our lot in life but I little though it could have come from this quarter. How will it all end? Jabe leaves us Wednesday for Culpepper Court House ....Read so many novels ....Bob at home this week very poorly. He brings me a letter from Dave. Bob was in all of the hard battles since the Maryland campaign commenced. All agree that it has been warmest part of the war. Our Army has been terribly cut up but we hear it is rapidly being filled up. Sam, we hear, has been taken prisoner but we suppose he will soon be set at liberty.

Sept. 28-Oct. 4

At church and hear Mr. Boyden. Spend Monday at The Creek ....Tuesday Jimmy brings me home. I'm so glad to get back but feel badly about leaving Sally so lonely. Dear little woman, she is so poorly in health and spirits. I wish she could go to Jabe. She seems to feel my leaving her much. Jabe is now in Lynchburg; hope he can settle there and send for little Sis ....Go right to work teaching school ....Letters from Sue; Cousin Sop [Sue's father-in-law] is very ill. They fear he cannot get well. Oh, what a loss he would be to his family but God knows what is best and may they all bow with submission to His Will .... Such very dry weather. Hard times for the farmers as they cannot plough for seeding wheat and it is getting very late in the year. On Friday we see by the papers that cousin Sop is dead. Oh, his poor wife and children. How they must grieve for I never knew a man more idolized then he was by his whole family. Mary Lewis in town staying; I miss her much. Am trying to be a very strict school ma'am. So very dry. It really begins to look scary. The farmers have not been able to sow any wheat as yet and it is getting very late in the season.

Oct. 5-11

We cannot go to church as Uncle Hatter is so poorly. I have a meeting at Mammy Nelly's house with the darkies and enjoy it. Uncle Hatter and Uncle Gabriel have a warm discussion. I'm edified....[Sally] sends me a letter from Jabe of the lst of Oct. He was then in Lynchburg but he did not seem to think there was a chance for his being kept in that place. Don't think he has given up hope of being sent South yet. A letter from Sue to Mary Lewis giving particulars of cousin Sop's death. She says Friday the 26th of Sept. he went down to his office but return in the evening very ill and on Friday the 3rd of Oct. he was taken down to Richmond again to that last resting place of man where he must sleep until that great Resurrection Morn when the Lord Himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout; with the voice of the Archangel and with the Trumpet of God. He breathed his last about the day dawn Thursday Morning Oct. 2, 1862. Sue says the distress of his family is terrible to witness. He was a truly devoted husband and father. Poor cousin Ann! May God send His comforter to her and to them all. He alone can help them in this their hour of woe. Poor John! The responsibility resting on him now is very great. Sue tells us his friends are trying to get his Father's office for him; hopes they may succeed. Mary Lewis comes home Wednesday evening. Mrs. Southall has diptheria at Cousin Lou's and it is not thought safe for Mary Lewis to stay in the home with it. Sam is expected every day as he is supposed to be among the prisoners lately exchanged. Sally tells me Cousin Thomas Watson has put Lydia to school with Lizzie Dee. It is very kind in Cousin Thomas. I wanted her to be at school but did not feel that I could afford to send her and I did not feel that Sister Mary could either. Nannie and I begin a course of reading together. We will include all kinds of literature. We want just now to make the acquaintances of Byron. I finish this week the two last volumes of Macaulay's History of .England.... Friday Sally comes very unexpectedly. Jabe comes with her as far as town. He has been ordered to Harrisburg to establish a hospital. I'm so glad to have Sally with me. She brings me such a dear little coffee pot out of Jabe's Mississippi Chest. have such nice little coffee parties. Sam with us Friday night. He brings me some trophies from Fort Delaware. [Fort Delaware is a Union prison for Confederate prisoners and Sam has just been exchanged after being a prisoner there.]

Oct. 12-18

I do not go to church. Sally very poorly this week. Mammy goes to Ashland Friday to be with Emily who is quite sick and to help Sue to nurse her. Sam with us very often. Such cold, dry weather. The wind sighs around the house with such a mourning sound and the leaves are falling, falling. All tell us that the reign of summer is past.

Oct. 19-25

No church ....No news from the army. Mammy Eliza has a letter from Dave. He was in Stewart's Raid [probably means J.E.B. Stuart's Cavalry raid] into Pennsylvania. He hopes soon to come home ....[Visits made.]

Oct. 26-Nov. 1

A rainy Sunday ....Make my pickles Monday .... On Oct. 22nd Sam, Sally, Mary Lewis, Nannie, Mag, Met and I went on a tramp to Monticello. Got over the river in a boat and then footed it up the mountain [and then] got into the house. Went through the best rooms. Did not see anything new to me as I had been there often before. After walking over the Yard and visiting the grave yard we took down the mountain toward the river and on reaching a moss grown fountains we opened the lunch and refreshed ourselves. Got home sometime before sundown, tired and soiled stained. I met with quite an adventure; fell into the canal and got very wet. Sam thinks it all comes from a spirit of independence which he thinks it wrong for me to encourage. I get a calico dress this fall and for ten yards pay $15. Eighteen months since, $1.50 would have bought me the same. Everything is very high now. Spool cotton 50 cents per spool, cotton cloth such was we formerly paid

6 1/4 cents is now 70 cents, very brown sugar 75 cents and every thing else in proportion. Wednesday Oct. 29th Mammy comes home. She has had a nice visit to Ashland. Left Emily about again ....

Nov. 2-8

At church. No sermon only the communion service as Mr. Meade's voice is almost gone... [Letters received, among them one from Sally.] She tells me Sister Mary has lost another of her servants, Sarah. Nanny and I are very busy on scrap books. Sam and Daddy have both given us one ....No news from the Army. A part of it has fallen back to Culpepper ....

Nov. 9-15

At church and hear Mr. Meade....Ma and Nan go to Uncle Bob's for a week's visit. We miss them much especially Ma. Have a letter in the evening from Sally by Uncle Hatter .... Jabe is still in Harrisonburg. Start for a visit to Rugby but meet brother Brown in town. He does not think it safe for me to go then as they fear some new cases of fever. We attend to the business and he paid me a part of Louisa's hire. Says the children have all been very poorly particularly little Cornelia; fears she will not get over it ....Read such a nice book by Bishop [William Ingraham] Kip called The Lenten Fast. Enjoy his views on The Intermediate State. They are both forcible and convincing. Friday I go down in the carriage with Met for Ma and Nan. It is a pleasant little change for me. Dine at Clover Fields. Sleep at Music Hall Friday night and take dinner with Aunt Sally Saturday. Get home before night. I'm so glad to see Sally. Sister Mary is talking of going off with her family both black and white if the Yanks get any nearer. She intends to go with Cousin Thomas [Watson] to Henry County. Hope there is no necessity for her going. Sally seems very well satisfied. Sister Mary has fixed up her and Lydia very comfortably.

Nov. 16-22

No service at my own church so I go to hear Dr. Hay; a very fine sermon ....Dave comes home sick. He is looking badly. [He] brings us some Yankee milk and raspberries which we don't enjoy .... A letter from Sally. She tells me that much wished for tea has arrived in town and she wants me to send there for it and when I get it to help myself to a part and take care of the rest until I can get an opportunity to send it to her ....Finish the 5th Volume of Scrap Book ....Read Waverly....

Nov. 23-29

I do not go to church; not feeling very well. Hear sister Betty has another daughter born Friday 28th. This makes ten children for her. Oh, what a weight of responsibility she has resting upon her! The rearing up as they should be [of] ten human beings. When called upon to give an account of her trust will she be able to say she has done what she could? Hear today of Mr. [Francis K.] Nelson's death. He died yesterday-22nd. Poor man. Death must have been a happy release. Such a sufferer as he has been for such a long time, over two years now I believe. He has ever treated me most kindly and affectionately and I've ever felt towards him as if he were a near relation. Oh! I can see so many of those I loved and cared for are passing away but this world is not our home. Oh, that we could take those words home to our hearts and feel the truth of them. Sister Mary told me when I was last at Music Hall that my old friend Ned Fry fell in the last battle of Manassas. Poor Ned. We have had some happy times together. Monday Mammy Eliza, Nannie, Daddy and I go down to Grace Church to attend Mr. Nelson's funeral. Mr. Boyden preached a very suitable sermon from the words, "I know that thou wilt bring me to death and to the house appointed for all living." Mr. Boyden, I think, is always exceedingly happy in his remarks on funeral occasions. He seemed much agitated at this time for he felt, no doubt, poor man, that he was putting away a friend. After the services at the church we all followed the body to the Belvoir Grave Yard and there buried it out of our sight. Mr. Nelson lived and died a Christian so it is well with him.

Call for a moment at Music Hall; see Sister Mary and all the children. Little Annie is walking about. Have a kiss and hug from little Sis. She has gotten the tea and promises to save me some. Don't have time to have any news from her of Jabe. We are very near staying all night but Uncle Hatter thinks he can get home by dark so we all agree to come. Get back by sundown very tired and sick with headache but a cup of tea sets me up again. Fix up the flowers for winter. Some of the hogs are killed so we have plenty to live on now. Am reading again some of the Waverly novels and enjoy them much. Doing little or nothing in the way of work. Have accomplished something in the way of knitting. In the last year during the early spring and when the cool weather set in this fall I've finished off 6 pairs of stockings for myself, 6 pairs of socks for different people, done a good deal of the knitting on my counterpane besides a good deal of other knitting; hope to finish off two or three pairs of cotton stockings for Mag before Xmas comes yet.

Nov. 30-Dec. 6

We have such a beautiful sermon from Mr. Slaughter on Advent Sunday ....Monday Mammy Eliza, Mary Lewis and I go visiting ....Tuesday Mary Lewis and I spend with Mrs. McGhee....shows me some such nice home made cloth. I wish much I had a dress of it. Wednesday the 3rd Jimmy Minor arrives in the rockaway for me; brings me word that my darling little Sis will start for Mississippi in a few days and they have sent for me to see the last of her and Jabe. I get ready and start off before dinner. Get to Music Hall before night and find Sister Mary in the Green Springs. I'm so glad to be with Jabe and Sally once again but it makes my heart ache when I remember what a long separation it may be. Jabe has been ordered to report at Jackson, Miss.; hopes he may get a post and not be obliged to go into the field again. Think he is much pleased at the thought of going South again and Sally too, though I can see how much she feels at leaving her many friends in Virginia. We have some happy times together in Sally's room talking over the past and making plans for the future. Our favorite one is that when the war is over for me to visit them in their Mississippi home. Oh, and what am I to do without out my sister? It seems as if all the affection that ought to have been hers during the long years we have been separated had all been expended upon her since she came to me, and dear Jabe, if we had been children of one mother, he could not have been dearer to me. They make many promises of coming back but in these changeful and stormy times I feel as though the chances for meeting again were few. God knows best what will be right for us and I trust all to Him. We do no visiting but to call at Uncle Bob's and we spend the night there. Jabe has to come to town Saturday and he spends the night at Pantops. Most of Sally's friends call to say goodbye. They all seem sorry to see her go. Poor little Lydia; she seems so grieved at her aunt going. Sally seemed a link between her and her Missouri home. Sister Mary gets back Thursday. Little Annie is so sweet and pretty. I feel proud of all those children. They are so affectionate towards each other and so attentive to their Mother. It shows that the good early training of their Father has not been lost. Sally and I have such nice little tea parties. Jabe won't join us in the beverage but he does in our chats. They are mostly on family affairs. There is one thing that troubles us all three much and will ever cast a cloud upon this visit to Virginia. Oh, that there was a little more of that charity in the world that "thinketh no evil."

Dec. 7-13

We do not go to church. The cars miss Jabe so he stays another night at Pantops. He gets home Monday and then the packing commences. He brings me a letter from home from Sue. She seems to think she will not be up at Xmas. John cannot come and she doesn't want to leave him. His work is very heavy now since our Army have occupied Fredricksburg. Cousin Lizzie [Watson] and some of the young children get to Music Hall Monday night. They have come to say good bye before leaving for Henry County. Cousin Thomas [Watson] has hired a farm there to take his servants to in case the Yanks get here. His white family will be at the Court House. They all seem unwilling to go. We hear Henry [County] is quite out of the world and they will have to leave all their comforts behind. The servants have [already] started. Cousin Lizzie and the children will go in a week or so. I feel so sorry for Sister Mary; she looks so much to Cousin Thomas for advice. Jabe and I have fear out of the news. Fear Lydia will get herself in a love scrape; don't know whether I ought to meddle or not. Am very glad she tells her Aunt Mary all her difficulties; feel sure Sister Mary will always tell her what is best to be done. I feel much better satisfied about Lydia now. She seems very happy and Sister Mary and Lizzie [Minor] both take so much interest in her. Lizzie Dee reports that she is studying well. I think she is truly thankful for any kindness showed to her. Monday night we take supper with Aunt Sally. It is a sad-happy evening for I have to see little Sis take leave of Aunt Sally and her household. Aunt Sally has been a good kind friend to Sally and as much as I loved her before she has larger claims upon me now for her kindness to my darling little sister and at a time when she needed friends. I can never forget it. Tuesday morning Dec. 9th the trunks are all packed and we start off; I for home and Sally and Jabe for Mississippi. We go together as far as Charlottesville when the last goodbyes are said and I see the last of my dear Brother and Sister. Oh, when and where will we meet again? In the stormy and changeful times in which we live, the chances are few of our meeting again on earth but we may look forward to and hope for a meeting in our Father's House when there will be no more going out. May God speed them on their way and may His protecting eye watch over them and may the trials of separation from them only increase my faith in Him who has proved to me that He does not willingly afflict any of us. Brother Brown goes with them as far as Lynchburg; hope he and Sally make all right. Brother Brown and I decide that Susan and her whole family shall go to him for another year. It eases my mind not a little. I get home before night with an aching heart. Teach school the rest of the week. Am busy on the War Scrap Book. We are much excited about Fredericksburg. The two armies are both there now ready to fall upon each other. Toward the last of the week some severe fighting is done. On Saturday the loss of life was very great. The fighting around Fredericksburg is called "heavy skirmishing" and it must be truly heavy to cost the lives of so many of our brave men but the enemy's loss is greater so that is comforting.

Dec. 14-20

At church and hear Mr. Nelson....After church go up to Mr. Brown's and see my new niece. She is a tiny little baby and not very healthy. No name has been given her as yet. I voted for a fancy one. Sister Betty has not yet been out of her room. She looks badly. The children all have been very sick since I saw them. They are all well now but Cornelia. She is, I hope, on the mend. Poor little thing, she seems all eyes now ....I get back Monday to dinner. Very quiet times; teaching, reading and knitting and any work I may find to do. Wrote to Lydia. She expects to spend her holidays with me and maybe Lizzie [will come also.] Had a long letter from Sue. She seems to feel much sympathy for me in giving up Sally. Says they are all much interested in the fight at Fredericksburg for they know their fate if we are driven back. She wants me to visit her after Xmas .... [Sue] seems to think it will not be very long before Kat will be married. Dear child, I hope she may be happy ....

Dec. 21-27

We go to town but have no church; cannot warm the church. The big battle at Fredericksburg has come off. We have to record another glorious victory. The Yankees admit that they were terribly beaten. The fight commenced on Thursday Dec. 11th and continued through the next five days. Poor old Fredericksburg, it will never rise again. Its homes are desolation and its people scattered now. Lydia comes Wednesday. I go for her to the Depot ....Xmas Day! I feel so little like it ....I do not go to church; stay at home and have a quiet time ....I have been enjoying some of Scott's novels. Like them quite as well as I did the first time I read them. Mary Lewis has been all excitement about the dinner given to the soldiers at The Delevan Hospital on Xmas. Contributions were sent by almost everyone in the county and they had the nicest kind of a dinner. Over 1200 soldiers were dined and then the darkies of the establishment were treated. Friday evening the Surgeons of the Delevan gave a supper to the ladies who had assisted in nursing and cooking for the hospital during the last year. Mary Lewis was there and had a gay time. The nicest kind of a supper and plenty of beaux. I write Sally a long letter. It seems so little like Xmas and I cannot wish for a merry one.

Dec. 28-31

I stay at home. We hear Mrs. Meade [wife of Rev. R. K. Meade] is dead. Her poor children, how I pity them for she was a good mother. For her, I believe all is well. Monday I spend in town and attend Mrs. Meade's funeral. How sweet and hopeful sounded that beautiful hymn "Asleep in Jesus." Our church was not dressed for Xmas this year and it seemed almost ominous for there were four funerals among the congregation during Xmas week. Hangings of black would have been suitable instead of the fir tree, the pine tree and the box tree together to beautify the sanctuary. The quietest Xmas I almost ever spent. Do some work on my War Scrap Book.