 | Every Man in his Humour |  |
Act IV, Scene iv
[Enter] FORMAL [and] KNOWELLFORMAL
Was your man a soldier, sir?
KNOWELL
This morning, as I came over Moorfields!
Where, i' the name of sloth, could you be thus--
BRAINWORM
Marry, peace be my comfort, where I thought I should have had little comfort of your worship's service.
KNOWELL
How so?
BRAINWORM
Oh, sir! Your coming to the city, your entertainment of me, and your sending me to watch--indeed, all the circumstances either of your charge, or my employment--are as open to your son as to yourself!
KNOWELL
Have told him of the letter, and discovered
All that I strictly charged him to conceal? 'Tis so!
BRAINWORM
I am partly o' the faith 'tis so indeed.
KNOWELL
But, how should he know thee to be my man?
Nay, sir, I cannot tell; unless it be by the black art! Is not your son a scholar, sir?
KNOWELL
Unto such hellish practices: if it were,
I had just cause to weep my part in him,
And curse the time of his creation.
But, where didst thou find them, Fitzsword?
BRAINWORM
You should rather ask, where they found me, sir, for I'll be sworn I was going along in the street, thinking nothing, when (of a sudden) a voice calls, 'Master Knowell's man'; another cries, 'Soldier'; and thus, half a dozen of 'em, till they had called me within a house where I no sooner came but they seemed men, and out flew all their rapiers at my bosom, with some three- or four-score oaths to accompany 'em, and all to tell me I was but a dead man, if I did not confess where you were, and how I was employed, and about what; which, when they could not get out of me (as I protest, they must ha' dissected and made an anatomy o' me first, and so I told 'em) they locked me up into a room i' the top of a high house, whence, by great miracle (having a light heart) I slid down, by a bottom of packthread, into the street, and so 'scaped. But, sir, thus much I can assure you, for I heard it while I was locked up, there were a great many rich merchants, and brave citizens' wives with 'em at a feast, and your son, Master Edward, withdrew with one of 'em, and has 'pointed to meet her anon, at one Cob's house, a water-bearer that dwells by the wall. Now, there your worship shall be sure to take him, for there he preys, and fail he will not.
KNOWELL
Go thou along with Justice Clement's man,
And stay there for me. At one Cob's house, say'st thou?
BRAINWORM
Aye, sir, there you shall have him.
[Exit KNOWELL]Yes? Invisible? Much wench, or much son! 'Slight, when he has stayed there, three or four hours, travailing with the expectation of wonders, and at length be delivered of air; oh, the sport that I should then take, to look on him, if I durst! But now I mean to appear no more afore him in this shape. I have another trick to act yet. Oh, that I were so happy as to light on a nupson, now, of this Justice's novice.
[To FORMAL]Sir, I make you stay somewhat long.
FORMAL
Not a whit, sir. 'Pray you, what do you mean? Sir?
BRAINWORM
I was putting up some papers--
FORMAL
You ha' been lately in the wars, sir, it seems.
BRAINWORM
Marry have I, sir; to my loss; and expense of all, almost--
FORMAL
Troth, sir, I would be glad to bestow a pottle of wine o' you, if it please you to accept it--
BRAINWORM
Oh, sir-
FORMAL
But to hear the manner of your services, and your devices in the wars, they say they be very strange, and not like those a man reads in the Roman histories, or sees at Mile End.
No, I assure you, sir; why, at any time when it please you, I shall be ready to discourse to you, all I know;
[Aside]and more too, somewhat.
FORMAL
No better time than now, sir: we'll go to the Windmill; there we shall have a cup of neat grist, we call it. I pray you, sir, let me request you to the Windmill.
BRAINWORM
I'll follow you, sir,
[Aside]and make grist o' you, if I have good luck.
[Exeunt] | Every Man in his Humour | |