University of Virginia Library

THE blunders of the examined form a fruitful source of amusement for us all, and many comical instances have been published. The mistakes which are constantly occurring must naturally be innumerable, but only a few of them rise to the dignity of a blunder. If it be difficult to define a blunder, probably the best illustration of what it is will be found in the answers of the boys under examination. All classes of blunders may be found among these. There are those which show confusion of knowledge, and those which exhibit an insight into the heart of the matter while blundering in the form. Two very good examples occur to one's mind, but it is to be feared that they owe their origin to some keen spirit of mature years. «What

is Faith?—The quality by which we are enabled to believe that which we know is untrue.» Surely this must have emanated from a wit! Again, the whole Homeric question is condensed into the following answer: «Some people say that the Homeric poems were not written by Homer, but by another man of the same name.» If this is a blunder, who would not wish to blunder so?

A large class of schoolboys' blunders consist in a confusion of words somewhat alike in sound, a confusion that is apt to follow some of us through life. «Matins» has been mixed up with «pattens,» and described as something to wear on the feet. Nonconformists are said to be persons who cannot form anything, and a tartan is assumed to be an inhabitant of Tartary. The gods are believed by one boy to live on nectarines, and by another to imbibe ammonia. The same desire to make an unintelligible word express a meaning which has caused the recognised but absurd spelling of sovereign (more wisely spelt sovran by Milton) shows itself in the form «Tea-trarck»

explained as the title of Herod given to him because he invented or was fond of tea.13 A still finer confusion of ideas is to be found in an answer reported by Miss Graham in the University Correspondent: «Esau was a man who wrote fables, and who sold the copyright to a publisher for a bottle of potash.»

The following etymological guesses are not so good, but they are worthy of registration. One boy described a blackguard as «one who has been a shoeblack,» while another thought he was «a man dressed in black.» «Polite» is said to be derived from «Pole,» owing to the affability of the Polish race. «Heathen» means «covered with heath»; but this explanation is commonplace when compared with the brilliant guess—«Heathen, from Latin `hæthum,' faith, and `en,' not.»

The boy who explained the meaning of the words fort and fortress must have had rather vague ideas as to masculine and feminine nouns. He wrote: «A fort is a place to put men in, and a fortress a place to put women in.»

The little book entitled English as she is Taught, which contains a considerable number of genuine answers to examination questions given in American schools, with a Commentary by Mark Twain, is full of amusing matter. A large proportion of these answers are of a similar character to those just enumerated, blunders which have arisen from a confusion caused by similarity of sound in the various words, thus, «In Austria the principal occupation is gathering Austrich feathers.» The boy who propounded this evidently had much of the stock in trade required for the popular etymologist. «Ireland is called the Emigrant Isle because it is so beautiful and green.» «Gorilla warfare was where men rode on gorillas.» «The Puritans found an insane asylum in the wilds of America.»

Some of the answers are so funny that it is almost impossible to guess at the train of thought which elicited them, as, «Climate lasts all the time, and weather only a few days.» «Sanscrit is not used so much as it used to be, as it went out of use 1500 B.C.» The boy who affirmed

that «The imports of a country are the things that are paid for; the exports are the things that are not,» did not put the Theory of Exchange in very clear form.

The knowledge of physiology and of medical subjects exhibited by some of the examined is very amusing. One boy discovered a new organ of the body called a chrone: «He had a chronic disease— something the matter with the chrone.» Another had a strange notion of how to spell craniology, for he wrote «Chonology is the science of the brane.» But best of all is the knowledge of the origin of Bright's disease, shown by the boy who affirms that «John Bright is noted for an incurable disease.»

Much of the blundering of the examined must be traced to the absurd questions of the examiners—questions which, as Mark Twain says, «would oversize nearly anybody's knowledge.» And the wish which every examinee has to bring in some subject which he supposes himself to know is perceptible in many answers. The date 1492 seems to be impressed upon every American

child's memory, and he cannot rest until he has associated it with some fact, so we learn that George Washington was born in 1492, that St. Bartholomew was massacred in that year, that «the Brittains were the Saxons who entered England in 1492 under Julius Cæsar,» and, to cap all, that the earth is 1492 miles in circumference.

Many of the best-known examination jokes are associated with Scriptural characters. One of the best of these, if also one of the best known, is that of the man who, paraphrasing the parable of the Good Samaritan, and quoting his words to the innkeeper, «When I come again I will repay you,» added, «This he said knowing that he should see his face again no more.»

A School Board boy, competing for one of the Peek prizes, carried this confusion of widely different events even farther. He had to write a short biography of Jonah, and he produced the following: «He was the father of Lot, and had two wives. One was called Ishmale and the other Hagher; he kept one at home, and he turned the other into the dessert, when

she became a pillow of salt in the daytime and a pillow of fire at night.» The sketch of Moses is equally unhistoric: «Mosses was an Egyptian. He lived in an ark made of bullrushes, and he kept a golden calf and worshipped braizen snakes, and et nothing but kwales and manna for forty years. He was caught by the hair of his head, while riding under the bough of a tree, and he was killed by his son Absalom as he was hanging from the bough.» But the ignorance of the schoolboy was quite equalled by the undergraduate who was asked «Who was the first king of Israel?» and was so fortunate as to stumble on the name of Saul. Finding by the face of the examiner that he had hit upon the right answer, he added confidentially, «Saul, also called Paul.»

The American child, however, managed to cover a larger space of time in his confusion when he said, «Elijah was a good man, who went up to heaven without dying, and threw his cloak down for Queen Elizabeth to step over.»

A boy was asked in an examination, «What did Moses do with the tabernacle?»

and he promptly answered, «He chucked it out of the camp.» The scandalised examiner asked the boy what he meant, and was told that it was so stated in the Bible. On being challenged for the verse, the boy at once repeated «And Moses took the tabernacle and pitched it without the camp» (Exod. xxxiii. 7).

The book might be filled with extraordinary instances of school translation, but room must be found for one beautiful specimen quoted by Moore in his Diary. A boy having to translate «they ascended by ladders» into Latin, turned out this, «ascendebant per adolescentiores» (the comparative degree of lad, i.e., ladder).

The late Mr. Barrett, Musical Examiner to the Society of Arts, gave some curious instances of blundering in his report on the Examinations of 1887, which is printed in the Programme of the Society's Examinations for 1888:—

«There were occasional indications that the terms were misunderstood. `Presto' signifies `turn over,' `Lento' `with style.' `Staccato' was said to mean `stick on

the notes,' or `notes struck and at once raised.'

«The names of composers in order of time were generally correctly done, but the particulars concerning the musicians were rather startling. Thus Purcell was said to have written, among other things, an opera called Ebdon and Eneas; one stated that he was born 1543 and died 1595, probably confusing him with Tallis, that he wrote masses and reformed the church music; another that he was the organist of King's College Chapel, and wrote madrigals. One stated that he was born 1568 and died 1695; another, not knowing that he had so long passed the allotted period of man's existence, gave his dates 1693, 1685, thus giving him no limit of existence at all. One said he was a German, born somewhere in the nineteenth century, which statement another confirmed by giving his dates as 1817-1846; and, further, credited him with the composition of The Woman of Samaria, and as having transposed plain-song from tenor to bass. Bach is said to have been the founder of the `Thames

School Lipsic,' the composer of the Seasons, the celebrated writer of opera comique, born 16—, and having gone through an operation for one of his fingers, turned his attention to composition, wrote operas, and, lastly, that he was born in 1756, and died 1880, and that his fame rests on his passions.

«The facts about Handel are pretty correct; but we find that Weber wrote Parsifal, The Flying Dutchman, Der Ring der Nibulengon. His dates are 1813-1883. Mendelssohn was born 1770, died 1827 (Beethoven's dates), studied under Hadyn (sic), and that he composed many operas. Gounod is said to be `a rather modern musician'; he wrote Othello, Three Holy Children, besides Faust and other works. Among the names given as the composer of Nozze di Figaro are Donizetti, William Sterndale Bennett, Gunod, and Sir Mickall Costa. The particulars concerning the real composer are equally interesting. (1) His name is spelt Mozzart, Mosarde, etc. (2) He was a well-known Italian, wrote Medea, and others. (3) His first opera was Idumea, or Idomeo. (4) He composed

Lieder ohne worte, Don Pasquale, Don Govianna, the Zauberfloat, Feuges, and his Requiem is the crowning glory of his `marvellious carere.' (5) He was a German, `born 1756, at a very early age.' If the dates given by another writer be true (born 1795, died 1659), it is certain that he must have died before he was born.»

Mr. Barrett again reported in 1889 some of the strange opinions of those who came to him to be examined:—

«The answers to the question `Who was Rossini? What influence did he exercise over the art of music in his time?' brought to light much curious and interesting intelligence. His nationality was various. He was `a German by birth, but was born at Pesaro in Italy'; `he was born in 1670 and died 1826'; he was a `Frenchman,' `a noted writer of the French,' the place of nativity was `Pizzarro in Genoa'; he was `an Italian, and made people feel drunk with the sparke and richness of his melody'; he composed Oberon, Don Giovanni; Der Friëschutz, and Stabet Matar. He was `an accomplished

writer of violin music and produced some of the prettiest melodies'; it is `to him we owe the extension of chords struck together in ar peggio'; he was `the founder of some institution or another'; `the great aim of his life was to make the music he wrote an interpretation of the words it was set to'; he `broke many of the laws of music'; he `considerable altered the stage'; he `was noted for using many instruments not invented before'; in his `composition he used the chromatic scale very much, and goes very deep in harmony'; he `was the first taking up the style, and therefore to make a great change in music'; he was `the cause of much censure and bickering through his writings'; he `promoted a less strict mode of writing and other beneficial things'; and, finally, `Giachono Rossini was born at Pezarro in 1792. In the year 1774 there was war raging in Paris between the Gluckists and Piccinists. Gluck wanted to do away with the old restraint of the Italian aria, and improve opera from a dramatic point of view. Piccini remained true to the old Italian style, and Rossini helped him to carry it on still further by his operas, Tancredi, William Tell, and Dorma del Lago.' »

The child who gave the following brilliant answer to the question, «What was the character of Queen Mary?» must have suffered herself from the troubles supposed to be connected with the possession of a stepmother: «She was wilful as a girl and cruel as a woman, but» (adds the pupil) «what can you expect from any one who had had five stepmothers?»

The greatest confusion among the examined is usually to be found in the answers to historical and geographical questions. All that one boy knew about Nelson was that he «was buried in St. Paul's Cathedral amid the groans of a dying nation.» The student who mixed up Oliver Cromwell with Thomas Cromwell's master Wolsey produced this strange answer: «Oliver Cromwell is said to have exclaimed, as he lay a-dying, If I had served my God as I served my king, He would not have left me to mine enemies.» Miss Graham relates in the University

Correspondent an answer which contains the same confusion with a further one added: «Wolsey was a famous general who fought in the Crimean War, and who, after being decapitated several times, said to Cromwell, Ah! if I had only served you as you have served me, I would not have been deserted in my old age.» «The Spanish Armada,» wrote a young man of seventeen, «took place in the reign of Queen Anne; she married Philip of Spain, who was a very cruel man. The Spanish and the English fought very bravely against each other. The English wanted to conquer Spain. Several battles were fought, in which hundreds of the English and Spanish were defeated. They lost some very large ships, and were at a great loss on both sides.»

The following description of the Nile by a schoolboy is very fine: «The Nile is the only remarkable river in the world. It was discovered by Dr. Livingstone, and it rises in Mungo Park.» Constantinople is described thus: «It is on the Golden Horn; a strong fortress; has a University, and is the residence of Peter the Great.

Its chief building is the Sublime Port.» Amongst the additions to our geographical knowledge may be mentioned that Gibraltar is «an island built on a rock,» and that Portugal can only be reached through the St. Bernard's Pass «by means of sledges drawn by reindeer and dogs.» «Turin is the capital of China,» and «Cuba is a town in Africa very difficult of access.»

One of the finest answers ever given in an examination was that of the boy who was asked to repeat all he knew of Sir Walter Raleigh. This was it: «He introduced tobacco into England, and while he was smoking he exclaimed, `Master Ridley, we have this day lighted such a fire in England as shall never be put out.' » Can that, with any sort of justice, be styled a blunder?

The rule that «the King can do no wrong» was carried to an extreme length when a schoolboy blunder of Louis XIV. was allowed to change the gender of a French noun. The King said «un carosse,» and that is what it is now. In Cotgrave's Dictionary carosse appears

as feminine, but Ménage notes it as having been changed from feminine to masculine.

It has already been pointed out that some of the blunders of the examined are due to the absurdity of the questions of the examiner. The following excellent anecdote from the late Archdeacon Sinclair's Sketches of Old Times and Distant Places (1875) shows that even when the question is sound a difficulty may arise by the manner of presenting it:—

«I was one day conversing with Dr. Williams about schools and school examinations. He said: `Let me give you a curious example of an examination at which I was present in Aberdeen. An English clergyman and a Lowland Scotsman visited one of the best parish schools in that city. They were strangers, but the master received them civilly, and inquired: «Would you prefer that I should speer these boys, or that you should speer them yourselves?» The English clergyman having ascertained that to speer meant to question, desired the master to proceed. He did so with great success, and the

boys answered numerous interrogatories as to the Exodus from Egypt. The clergyman then said he would be glad in his turn to speer the boys, and began: «How did Pharaoh die?» There was a dead silence. In this dilemma the Lowland gentleman interposed. «I think, sir, the boys are not accustomed to your English accent,» and inquired in broad Scotch, «Hoo did Phawraoh dee?» Again there was a dead silence, till the master said: «I think, gentlemen, you can't speer these boys; I'll show you how.» And he proceeded: «Fat cam to Phawraoh at his hinder end?» i.e., in his latter days. The boys with one voice answered, «He was drooned»; and a smart little fellow added, «Ony lassie could hae told you that.» The master then explained that in the Aberdeen dialect «to dee» means to die a natural death, or to die in bed: hence the perplexity of the boys, who knew that Pharaoh's end was very different.' »

The author is able to add to this chapter a thoroughly original series of answers to certain questions relating to acoustics, light and heat, which Professor Oliver

Lodge, F.R.S., has been so kind as to communicate for this work, and which cannot fail to be appreciated by his readers. It must be understood that all these answers are genuine, although they are not given verbatim et literatim, and in some instances one answer is made to contain several blunders. Professor Lodge expresses the opinion that the questions might in some instances have been worded better, so as to exclude several of the misapprehensions, and therefore that the answers may be of some service to future setters of questions. He adds that of late the South Kensington papers have become more drearily correct and monotonous, because the style of instruction now available affords less play to exuberant fancy untrammelled by any information regarding the subject in hand.