 | The Parasite |  |
SCENE I.
Enter PHÆDROMUS with a lighted torch, some slaves following him with wine and provisions for an entertainment: and PALINURUS.PALINURUS.
Whither away, and at this time of night;
112
Phæ.
Where Venus, and her son command me: where
Affection calls me—Whether it be midnight,
Twilight of evening, dawn of day, no matter—
The assignation made, we must attend
'Spite of our teeth—
Pal.
At length howe'er, at length—
Phæ.
At length, howe'er you are impertinent!
Phal.
'Tis neither right nor reputable, you
Be your own boy, and carry your own wax-light.
113
Should I not bring the work of little bees
Deriv'd from sweets, to my sweet little honey?
Pal.
But whither shall I say you're going now?
Phæ.
Ask me, and I'll inform you—
Pal.
Should I ask,
What would you answer?
Phæ.
This the temple is
Of Æsculapius—
Pal.
Well, and that I've known
More than a twelvemonth—
Phæ.
Next to it, you see
A door shut close—Hail! door that shut'st the closest.
How hast thou far'd of late—
Pal.
What! has a fever
Left you but yesterday, or two days since?
Supp'd you last night?
Phæ.
What! do you laugh at me?
Pal.
Are you not mad, to hail the door; and ask
After its health?
Phæ.
By Hercules! I've known
This door, a door most trusty and most secret—
He mutters not a word: and when he's open'd
Is still and hush—And when at night, his mistress
Comes out to speak with me, in private says
Not the least word—
Phal.
Are you not doing, Phædromus,
Something unworthy of yourself and family;
Or else about some prank? Say, are you not
Laying a snare to catch some modest girl;
Or one at least who ought to be so?
114
No.
And Jove forbid I should!
Pal.
I wish the same.
I'd have you always so to place your love,
If you are wise, that if the town should know it,
It may not be to your disgrace—Take care
Always, you be not infamous—If needs
That you must love, love before witnesses.
Phæ.
What's that?
115
Take heed that you proceed with caution.
Phae.
Does not live here a pandar?
Pal.
None forbids
To purchase of him what's on sale, provided
You have but wherewithal to pay for it.
The publick road is free for all the world,
If to get at it, you break down no fence;
So from the married woman you abstain,
The widow, virgin, and the free, why then
Love where you list.
Phæ.
This is the pandar's house.
Pal.
A curse light on it!
Phæ.
Why?
Pal.
Because it serves
So infamous a master—
Phæ.
So! Revile!
Pal.
With all my heart I wish it—
Phæ.
Yet have done.
Pal.
Why, Sir, 'twas you yourself bade me go on.
Phæ.
But now I bid you hold your tongue—What I
Was going to say, is this—There's a young maiden—
Pal.
Belonging to the pandar who lives here—
Phæ.
You have it right—
Pal.
The less am I in danger
Of dropping it—
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Intolerably saucy!
He fain would make a courtezan of her.
But, as she loves me ev'n to desperation,
I'd have her to myself.
Pal.
How's that?
Phæ.
I'd have her
My own, I say; because I love her too.
Pal.
This same clandestine love's a wicked thing:
'Tis utter ruin.
Phæ.
Troth, 'tis as you say.
Pal.
Say, has she enter'd yet the lists of love?
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As far as I'm concern'd, chast as my sister;
Unless a kiss or two has made her otherwise.
Pal.
Ever remember this. Flame follows close
Upon the heels of smoke. In smoke, indeed,
Things cannot be consum'd, in flame they may.
He that would have the kernel, breaks the nut-shell.
Who would debauch a girl, begins with kisses—
Phæ.
But she's quite modest: nor to any man
Has yet allow'd her favours—
Pal.
All this talk
I could believe, if modesty and pandars
Could live together.
Phae.
Judge of her yourself.—
When she has had an opportunity
Of stealing off in private, she comes to me,
Gives me a single kiss, and strait returns.
The pandar being now sick, takes up his lodging
In Æsculapius' temple: and this gives her
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That rascal tortures me.
119
How?—What's the matter?
Phæ.
One time he asks me thirty minæ for her,
Another, a great talent.—Nor yet can I
From him get any dealing that is fair.
120
You're wrong to think of getting from a pandar
That which he has not in him.
Phæ.
I've just sent
My parasite to Caria, there to ask
My friend to advance to me a sum of money
By way of loan: which if he does not bring,
I know not which way next I have to turn me.
Pal.
Pay your devotions to the Gods, and then,
I think you'll turn you towards the right.
Phæ.
Behold
Before the door, an altar rais'd to Venus.
I've vow'd a breakfast to my Venus here—
Pal.
Do you give yourself to Venus for a breakfast?
Phæ.
Myself and thee, and these.
Pal.
I see you mean
To overload your Venus' stomach then?
Phæ.
Give me the bowl, boy.
Pal.
What to do?
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Oh! that
You soon shall know. There's an old harradan,
Who us'd to lye before the door to guard it;
The thirsty bawd is call'd here, Madam Vinous.
Pal.
Why, you speak of her, Sir, as of a flaggon,
That us'd to hold rich wine of Chios in it.
Phæ.
To say no more, she has a strong smack at wine.
Soon as with wine I've sprinkled o'er the doors,
You'll see, she'll smell me out, and open strait.
Pal.
Was it for her the bowl was hither brought?
Phæ.
If you oppose it not—
Pal.
I do, by Hercules!
Wou'd he that brought it here had broke his neck;
I thought it meant for us.
Phæ.
Come, hold your tongue.
If any's left, 'twill be enough for us.
Pal.
What river's that, be't e'er so full, the sea
Cannot receive?
Phæ.
Go with me to the door,
And contradict me not, Palinurus.
Pal.
Willingly.
Phæ.
Drink, lovely door, drink hard, and ever be
[sprinkling the door with wine.
Propitious to me.
Pal.
[to the door.]
Would you like, sweet door,
Olives, or capers, or some relisher?
Phæ.
Rouse, rouse your portress hither to my call.
Pal.
You spill the wine.—What is it you're about?
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Away. See—how the house is open'd to me!
Not e'en a single creak—Sweet hinge, thou charm'st me!
Pal.
Give it a kiss.
Phæ.
Let us conceal our light,
And noise.
Pal.
Be't so.
[they stand apart.
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