University of Virginia Library

ACT III.

SCENE I.

Enter LYCO.
LYCO.
I find I'm a good man.—I've struck my balance,
And see, by what's in hand, and what I owe,
If I pay not my creditors, I'm rich;
But if I clear with them, I'm deep in debt—
'Troth, when I seriously consider this,
If I am press'd, I'll break, and e'en submit;
And let them carry me before the Prætor.
'Tis what most bankers do; borrow of one,
Or of another, but to none repay;
But if one ask it in a higher tone,
They then discharge the debt in cuffs. The man,
Who in good time gets rich, must in good time
Be provident, or in good time will starve.
I fain would buy a boy, who may be wanted,
For hire; my present want is only money—

Enter CURCULIO, [speaking to PHÆDROMUS within.]
Cur.
Now my skin's full, put me in mind of nothing:
I recollect and know it all—Then peace—
I'll give a good account of my commission.
I have fill'd me well within; and yet have left
A little corner in my stomach void,
Where I may hoard the remnants of these remnants.
But who is this saluting Æsculapius,
With his head cover'd? 'Tis the very man
I am in search of. Follow me, [to Phæd.]
I'll make
As if I knew him not. Hola! Hola!
'Tis you I want.

Lyc.
Good day, you single-peeper.

Cur.
Why, single-peeper? Do you mean to jeer me?

Lyc.
You must be of the family of Cocles,
They all were single-peepers.

Cur.
This poor eye
Was by a catapulta lost at Sicyon.

Lyc.
Or so, or by some broken pot of cinders,
What is't to me?

Cur.
The fellow is a witch.
He has hit the mark—That was the catapulta,
I'm oft saluted with. [aside.]
I prithee, youngster,
No sneers upon this honourable mark,
Gain'd in the publick service, lest I cite you,
And incommitiate—

Lyc.
You may forumnize,
If you don't incommitiate me.

Cur.
No more
Of forum or comitia, if you love me;
They are not to my tooth. But if you'll shew me
The man I want, I shall be much oblig'd;
Lyco the banker.

Lyc.
Why you look for him,
And whence, say, are you?—

Cur.
From the captain, I.
Therapontigonus Platagidorus.

Lyc.
I recollect the name, for when I write it,
It fills compleat four pages—but what wants he?

Cur.
He's charg'd me with this letter.

[shewing a letter.
Lyc.
Who are you?

Cur.
I am his freed-man, and they call me Nimwell.

Lyc.
Well, save you, Nimwell—But, I prithee now,
Why Nimwell? Say—

Cur.
Because, when drunk, asleep,
(As I pretend) I Nim the vestments well.
'Tis not without a reason, I'm call'd Nimwell.

Lyc.
Then e'en for entertainment seek elsewhere,
You meet with none from me. I want no Nimwells.
But I'm the man you seek.

Cur.
Are you indeed
The banker Lyco?

Lyc.
Ay—the very man.

Cur.
Therapontigonus has order'd me
To give you salutation, and this letter.

Lyc.
Me?

Cur.
You. Here, take it— [gives a letter.]
Be acquainted with
The seal. D'ye know it.

Lyc.
Yes, I ought to know it.
A man arm'd with a shield, and with a sword,
Killing an elephant.

Cur.
He order'd me,
To beg you, do directly what he writes,
If you'd oblige him.

Lyc.
Step aside, I'll see
What 'tis he writes.

Cur.
E'en as you please for that,
So that I take of you the charge I seek—

Lyc.
[reading.]
“Therapontigonus Platagidorus,
“The captain, to his host in Epidaurus
“Lyco, sends greeting.

Cur.
[aside.]
Yes, the man's my own,
He has devour'd the hook. [aside.]


Lyc.
[reading.]
“I here desire
“And beg you to deliver to the person
“Who brings this letter to you, the young girl
“I bought when you was by, and by your means;
“With her, her cloaths and jewels. You well know,
“How 'twas agreed—The money to the pandar,
“Then pay; the girl deliver to the bearer”.
But where's your master? Why not come himself?

Cur.
I'll tell you, Sir. 'Tis but four days ago,
That we arriv'd from India safe at Caria.
Where he has order'd to erect a statue
Of pure and solid Philippean gold,
Seven feet in height: this for a monument
Of his exploits.

Lyc.
And wherefore?

Cur.
That I'll tell you.
Because that he alone in twenty days
Subdu'd the Persians, and the Paphlagonians,
The Synopeans, Arabs, and the Carians,
The Cretans and the Syrians. Rhodes and Lycia,
Peredia and Perbibesia,
Centauromachia, Classia, Unomammia,
Lybia, and all the coast of Centerobromia,
And the whole half of all the nations there.

Lyc.
O rare!

Cur.
You seem surpriz'd?

Lyc.
For if these people
Were all penn'd up, like chicken in a coop,
'Twould take a year to encompass them about.
By Hercules! you must be master's man,
You spit such wonders forth.

Cur.
I'd tell you more,
If more you choose—

Lyc.
I have no doubt. Here, follow—
I will dispatch the affair you came about.
And see, our man!—Health and long life to you!

Enter PROCURER.
Pro.
May the Gods love you!

Lyc.
Do you know the business
I come to you about?

Pro.
You've but to tell me.

Lyc.
To take the money for the girl you wot of,
And send her off with him [pointing to Curculio.]
directly—

Pro.
What!
The girl I promis'd to give up to Phædromus?

Lyc.
What's that to you, so you receive the money?

Pro.
A good adviser's to the full as good
As an assistant—Come on—Follow me.

Cur.
Take care, procurer, not to make me wait.

[Exeunt.