University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

SCENE I.

Enter AMPHITRYON and SOSIA, at the further End of the Stage.
AMPHITRYON.
Come, follow me.

Sos.
I do, I'm after you,
Close at your heels.

Amph.
Thou art the veriest rogue,—

Sos.
For why?

Amph.
Because you tell me what is not,
Nor was, nor will be.

Sos.
Look ye now,—'tis like you—
You ne'er believe your servants.

Amph.
What!—how's that?
By heav'ns, thou villain, I'll at once cut out
That villainous tongue of thine.

Sos.
I'm your's, and you
May use me as you please, and as it suits you;
But as I've told you the plain fact, you cannot
Make me recant my story.

Amph.
Why, you villain,—
Dare you affirm, that you are now at home,
And here too, at this very time?

Sos.
'Tis true though.

Amph.
A plague confound you!—which the Gods will order,
And so will I.

Sos.
I'm your's, and in your power.

Amph.
Slave! dare you put your tricks upon your master?
Dare you affirm, what man yet never saw?—
What never can be?—that the self-same person
Should at one time be in two different places?

Sos.
Indeed, 'tis fact I tell you.

Amph.
Jove confound you!

Sos.
In what have I deserv'd ill at your hands?

Amph.
Villain, d'ye ask, who make me thus your sport?

Sos.
With reason you might curse me, were't not so:
I do not lye, but tell you the plain fact.

Amph.
The fellow's drunk, I think.

Sos.
I would I were!

Amph.
You have your wish already.

Sos.
I?

Amph.
Yes, you.—
Say, where have you been drinking?

Sos.
No where truly.

Amph.
What sort of fellow is it?

Sos.
I have told you
Ten times already.—I'm at home, I say;
And I,—d'ye mark me? I, that self-same Sosia,
Am here with you.—What think you? do I speak
Plain enough now, and to the purpose?

Amph.
Hence,
Avaunt,—go, get thee from me.

Sos.
What's the matter?

Amph.
The plague has seiz'd you.

Sos.
Why d'ye say so?—Faith
I feel, Sir, very well.

Amph.
But I shall make you
Feel very ill, and very miserable,
As you deserve, when I get home.—Come, follow me,
You, who abuse your master's easy nature
With vain and frantic stories; who, because
You have neglected to perform his orders,
Come to deride him.—You relate such gross
Impossibilities, such as before
Were never heard of—Knave!—But ev'ry lye
Your back shall answer.

Sos.
Of all grievances
This is most grievous to a trusty servant;
That, though he tell his master truth, the truth
He is beat out of by authority.

Amph.
How this can be, convince me, thou vile plague,
With arguments.—I fain would have explain'd,
How you can be at home, and yet be here.

Sos.
Troth I'm both here and there.—Well may one wonder!
Nor can it seem more strange to you than me.

Amph.
As how?

Sos.
I say, it cannot seem more strange
To you than me; nor, as I hope for mercy,
Did I at first believe Me-Myself Sosia,
Till Sosia, t'other I-Myself, convinc'd me.
He told distinctly ev'ry thing that past
During our sojourn with the enemy:—
Then he has robb'd me of my very figure
Together with my name.—One drop of milk
Is not more like another than that I
Is like to Me: for when you sent me home,
Before 'twas day-break, from the port—

Amph.
What then?

Sos.
I at the door was standing long before
I came there.

Amph.
Plague! what trifling stuff is this?
Have you your senses?

Sos.
I am as you see me.

Amph.
Sure, since he left me, he has been bewitch'd,
And work'd on by ill hands.

Sos.
Ill hands, I own;
For he has maul'd me with his fists most sadly.

Amph.
Who beat you?

Sos.
I-Myself beat Me-myself,
I that am now at home.

Amph.
Be sure you answer
Nothing but what I ask you.—First of all,
I willingly would learn, who is that Sosia?

Sos.
Your servant.

Amph.
In good sooth I have one more
By you, than I could wish; nor ever had I,
Since I was born, another servant Sosia
Besides yourself.

Sos.
But I do tell you now,
You'll find, when you go home, another Sosia
Besides myself; the son of Davus; sprung
From the same father as myself; in form,
And age, the same too with myself. In short,
You've here a double Sosia.

Amph.
Your account
Is wondrous strange!—But have you seen my wife?

Sos.
He would not let me come within the door.

Amph.
Who hinder'd you?

Sos.
That Sosia, He I spoke of,
Who maul'd me with his fists.

Amph.
Who is that Sosia?

Sos.
Myself, I say:—how often must I tell you?

Amph.
But what is't you are talking?—Have you not
Been sleeping all the while?

Sos.
No, not the least.

Amph.
Haply you saw, if any such you saw,
That Sosia in a dream.

Sos.
I am not wont
To dream o'er your commands.—Awake I saw him,
Awake I see you now; awake I'm talking;
And with his fists just now did He awake
Maul Me awake.

Amph.
What He?

Sos.
I tell you, Sosia,
That I-He.—Prithee, don't you understand?

Amph.
How is it possible, that any one
Should understand such jargon as you jabber?

Sos.
But you will know him quickly.—

Amph.
Who?

Sos.
You'll know
That other Sosia.

Amph.
Follow me.—'Tis needful,
I should first sift this matter.—See that all things
Be brought from ship-board, as I order'd.

Sos.
I am
Mindful and diligent t'obey your orders.
I have not drank up your authority
Together with my wine.

Amph.
Now would to heav'n,
The fact may turn out different from your story!

[They keep aloof.]

SCENE II.

Enter ALCMENA attended by THESSALA.
Alc.
How scanty are the pleasures in life's course,
If plac'd in opposition to it's troubles!
For in the life of man to ev'ry one
'Tis thus allotted, thus it pleases heaven,
That Sorrow, her companion, still should tread
Upon the heels of Pleasure; and if ought
Of good befal us, forthwith there should follow
Of ill a larger portion.—This I feel,
And know it of myself now, unto whom
A little spice of pleasure was imparted,
In that it was permitted me to see
My husband but one night:—he left me, and
Departed on a sudden, ere 'twas day.—
Here seem I now deserted and forlorn,
Since he I doat on, prizing above all,
Is absent from me.—I have ta'en of grief
From the departure of my husband more
Than I receiv'd of pleasure from his coming.
In this, however, am I blest at least,
That he has conquer'd, and is home return'd
With honours heap'd upon him:—that's a comfort.
Let him be absent; so that he return
Crown'd with the acquisition of bright fame,
I'll bear it, his departure, with a mind
Resolv'd and stedfast:—If this recompense
Be giv'n me, that my husband shall be stiled
A conqueror in battle, I shall think
I have enough.—Valour's the best reward:
'Tis Valour, that surpasses all things else:
Our liberty, our safety, life, estate,
Our parents, children, country are by this
Preserv'd, protected: Valour ev'ry thing
Comprises in itself; and ev'ry good
Awaits the man, who is possess'd of Valour.

Amph.
I am persuaded, that my coming home
Most eagerly is wish'd for by my wife,
Who loves me, and by me no less is lov'd;—
But more especially, seeing success
Has crown'd our enterprise, the enemy
Subdued, by all men deem'd invincible:—
(Them by my conduct and command we vanquish'd
In the first battle.) Of a truth I know,
She much expects, and longs for my return.

Sos.
And don't you think my Dear expects me too?

[Amphitryon advances, with Sosia.]
Alc.
Sure, 'tis my husband.

Amph.
Follow me this way.

Alc.
Wherefore returns he, when he said just now
He was in hurry to be gone?—And is it
His purpose then to try me?—Would he prove,
How I affect his parting?—By my faith
To me he's always welcome.

Sos.
We had best
On board again, Sir,

Amph.
Wherefore?

Sos.
Nobody.
Will give us here a dinner.

Amph.
How came that
Into your mind?

Sos.
Because we're come too late.

Amph.
How so?

Sos.
See there before our house Alcmena
Stands with her belly full.

Amph.
At my departure
I left her big with child.

Sos.
Alas, poor me!

Amph.
Why? What's the matter?

Sos.
O I am come home
Just in the nick of time to fetch her water:
For she is gone, according to your reckoning,
Ten months.

Amph.
Have a good heart.

Sos.
Nay, do you know
What a good heart I have? If I but take
The bucket once in hand, now never trust me
From this day forward, if I do not draw
The well's heart's-blood up, when I set about it.

Amph.
Follow me.—Never fear: I will appoint
Another to that business.

Alc.
(advancing)
I shall shew
My duty more, if I approach and meet him.

[Amphitryon and Alcmena meet.]
Amph.
With joy Amphitryon greets his wish'd-for spouse,
Whom he accounts the best of all in Thebes,
Whom all our Thebans so extol for virtue!
How have you far'd this age since?—Did you long
For my return?

Sos.
(ironically)
O yes, extremely long'd!—
One could not take less notice of a dog.

Amph.
It joys me that I see you burthen'd thus,
Bearing your load so well.

Alc.
Prithee, my lord,
Why do you thus salute me in the way
Of mockery? why address me all so strange,
As though you had not seen me very lately,
As though it were the first time you return'd
Home hither from the conquest of your foes?
Why, why do you accost me now, as though
You had not seen me for a long time past?

Amph.
By all that's sacred, never till this hour
Have I beheld you.

Alc.
Why will you deny it?

Amph.
Because that I have learnt to speak the truth.

Alc.
He who unlearns what he has learnt, does wrong.—
You'd try my disposition!—But what makes you
Return so soon?—Has any ominous thing
Retarded, or the weather kept you back?—
How comes it to the army you're not gone,
As lately you declar'd that you was going?

Amph.
Lately! how lately was it?

Alc.
Do you try me?—
A while ago, just now, this very instant.

Amph.
How can that be, I pray you, as you say,—
A while ago, just now?

Alc.
And can you think
I'd play the fool as you do, who maintain
This is your first arrival, when e'en now
You parted hence?

Amph.
How wild she talks!

Sos.
Have patience,
Till she has slept out this one dream.

Amph.
She dreams
With her eyes open.

Alc.
No, I do not dream;
But am awake, and waking I relate
That which is true: for now ere break of day
I saw both him and you.

Amph.
Where? in what place?

Alc.
Here, in your own house.

Amph.
No, it could not be.

Sos.
Hold, Sir.—Who knows but that the vessel brought us
From the port hither, while we were asleep?

Amph.
Will you too join in her extravagance?

Sos.
What would you have me do, Sir? Don't you know,
If you oppose a Bacchant in her rage,
You'll make her desperate; she'll strike the oft'ner;
But if you humour her, one stroke contents her.

Amph.
By heav'ns but I'm resolv'd to rate her, since
She will not welcome me.

Sos.
Do, thrust your hand
Into an hornet's nest.

Amph.
Hold your tongue, sirrah.—
Alcmena, I would ask one question.

Alc.
Ask,
And welcome.

Amph.
Is it frenzy, or is't pride,
Which thus possesses you?

Alc.
My lord!—How came it
Into your thoughts to ask so strange a question?

Amph.
You were wont hitherto to welcome me
On my return, and greet me in such terms,
As virtuous wives use to their husbands.—Now
I've found your practice other.

Alc.
By my faith,
My lord, most certainly on yesternight
I welcom'd you as soon as you arriv'd,
And ask'd you at the same time of your health,
And took you by the hand, and gave a kiss.

Sos.
How! yesternight you welcom'd him?

Alc.
I did;—
And you too, Sosia.

Sos.
Sir! I was in hopes,
She'd bring you forth a boy; but now, believe me,
She is not gone with child.

Amph.
How do you mean?

Sos.
Far gone with madness.

Alc.
No, I am not mad,
And pray to heav'n to speed me in my labour;—
But if your master treat you as he ought,
You'll be rewarded for your ominous words.—
'Twill hap ill to you.

Sos.
It should be to you:
An apple's proper for a pregnant woman,
That she may have something to chew upon,
If she begin to faint.

Amph.
You saw me here
Last night?

Alc.
I did, I say:—must I repeat it
Ever so often?

Amph.
In a dream perhaps.

Alc.
No, we were both awake.

Amph.
Alas! alas!

Sos.
What ails you, Sir?

Amph.
My wife is gone distracted.

Sos.
She's troubled with black bile, and nothing sooner
Works men to madness.

Amph.
(to Alc.)
When did you perceive
Yourself first seiz'd?

Alc.
By heav'n there's nothing ails me.

Amph.
Why then d'ye say you saw me, when we came
But last night into port; and there I sup'd,
There rested the whole night on board the ship;
Nor have I set my foot here in the house,
Since with the army I march'd hence against
Our foes the Teleboans, and o'ercame them.

Alc.
With me you sup'd, with me you pass'd the night.

Amph.
How's that?

Alc.
I speak the truth.

Amph.
No, not in this,
Howe'er in other matters.

Alc.
You departed
Back to the army at the dawn of day.

Amph.
How could that be?

Sos.
She's very right: she's telling you
Her dream, while now 'tis fresh upon her memory.
Indeed, good dreaming Madam, when you wak'd,
You should have offer'd a salt cake or frankincense
To Jove, disposer of strange prodigies.

Alc.
A mischief on your head!

Sos.
On your's, unless
You have a care.

Alc.
This Fellow dares again
Speak rudely to me with impunity.

Amph.
(to Sosia.)
Hold your tongue, sirrah. (to Alc.)
Tell me, did I leave you
At break of day this morning?

Alc.
Who but you
Recounted to me, how the battle went?

Amph.
And know you that too?

Alc.
Surely,—since from you
I heard it; how you took their capital city,
And slew king Pterelas yourself.

Amph.
Did I,
I tell you this?

Alc.
Yes, you;—and Sosia here
Was by too.

Amph.
(to Sosia.)
Did you hear me tell her this?

Sos.
Where should I hear you?

Amph.
Ask herself.

Sos.
In troth
No, never in my presence, that I know of.

Alc.
Ay to be sure,—he'll contradict you doubtless!

Amph.
Come hither, sirrah:—look me in the face.

Sos.
I do, Sir.

Amph.
I would have you speak the truth
Without or favour or affection to me.—
Say, did you hear me give her such account,
As she affirms?

Sos.
Prithee art thou too mad,
To ask me such a question?—when it is
The first time I have seen you here together.

Amph.
Now, Madam!—do you hear?—

Alc.
I hear him utter
That which is false.

Amph.
So—then you won't believe
Or him, or me your husband?

Alc.
I believe
Myself,—and know what I have said is true.

Amph.
Will you affirm I came here yesterday?

Alc.
Will you deny you went from hence to-day?

Amph.
I do;—and do affirm, that this is now
My first arrival.

Alc.
And will you deny too,
That you presented me with a gold cup,
You told me had been giv'n to you?

Amph.
By heav'n
I neither gave it you, nor told you of it;—
Though I was so dispos'd, and am so now,
That cup to give you.—But who told you of it?

Alc.
I heard it from yourself,—from your own hands
Receiv'd the cup.

Amph.
Hold, hold, I do beseech you.—
Sosia, I marvel much how she should know
I was presented with a golden cup;—
Unless yourself have lately been with her,
And told her all.

Sos.
Not I;—I never told her,
Nor saw her, till with you, now.

Alc.
What a knave!—
Would you that I produce the cup?

Amph.
Produce it.

Alc.
It shall be done.—Go, Thessala, and bring
The cup here, which my husband this day gave me.

[Thessala goes in, and Amphitryon and Sosia walk on one side.]
Amph.
Step hither, Sosia.—Of all wonders I
Should wonder most, if she should have the cup.

Sos.
Can you suppose that possible, when here
It's in the casket, (shewing it)
seal'd with your own seal?

Amph.
Is the seal whole?

Sos.
Look at it.

Amph.
'Tis secure,—
Just as I seal'd it.

Sos.
Should she not be treated
Like a mad person?

Amph.
On my troth there's need on't;
For sure she is possess'd.

[Thessala returns with a Gold Cup.]
Alc.
Need there more words?
See, here's the cup.

Amph.
O give it to me.

Alc.
There,—
Look at it well, you that deny your deeds:
But this will openly convince you.—Say,
Is't not the same, with which you was presented?

Amph.
O Jupiter! what do I see?—It is
The very cup.—Sosia, undone for ever!

Sos.
Sure she's the greatest juggler that e'er breath'd,
Or else the cup must be in here.

Amph.
Dispatch,—
Open the casket,—quick.

Sos.
Why need I open it?
'Tis seal'd securely:—so far all is well.—
You have brought forth, Sir, an Amphitryon; I
A Sosia:—If the cup bring forth a cup,
Then shall we all have doubled one another.

Amph.
I am resolv'd to open, and inspect.

Sos.
Look if the seal be right,—that afterwards
You may not lay the blame on me.

Amph.
Come open it
This instant; for she means to drive us mad.

Alc.
Whence could I have this present but from you?

Amph.
That must I find.

Sos.
(Opening the casket.)
O Jupiter! O Jupiter!

Amph.
What ails you?

Sos.
There's no cup here in the casket!

Amph.
What do I hear?

Sos.
The truth.

Amph.
Sad truth for you,
Unless the cup appear.

Alc.
(Shewing it.)
It doth appear.

Amph.
Who gave it to you?

Alc.
He that asks the question.

Sos.
You're on the catch, good master!—You have stole
Some other way in private from the ship
Before me, took the cup out, giv'n it her,
And seal'd the casket up again.

Amph.
Ah me!
You help her frenzy too.— (To Alc.)
You say we came
Last night here?

Alc.
So I say, and on your coming
Strait you saluted me, as I did you,
And met you with a kiss.

Amph.
(aside)
I do not like
That kiss in the beginning.—Well—go on.

Alc.
You bath'd.

Amph.
What after bathing?

Alc.
You sat down
To table.

Sos.
Bravo! excellent! examine her.

Amph.
(To Sos.)
Don't interrupt,— (to Alc.)
Proceed you in your story.

Alc.
The supper being serv'd, we supp'd together.
I sat me down—

Amph.
On the same couch?

Alc.
The same.

Sos.
So then!—methinks this banquet is not relish'd!

Amph.
(to Sos.)
Let her go on.— (to Alc.)
What after we had supp'd?

Alc.
You said you found yourself inclin'd to sleep:
The table was remov'd: we went to bed.

Amph.
Where did you lye?

Alc.
With you, in the same chamber,
In the same bed.

Amph.
You've utterly destroy'd me!

Sos.
What ails you?

Amph.
She has giv'n me my death's wound!

Alc.
What have I done, I pray?

Amph.
Don't speak to me.

Sos.
What ails you?

Amph.
O I am a lost, lost wretch,
Since foul dishonour, while I was away,
Has stain'd her chastity.

Alc.
My Lord!—I pray you,
Why do I hear such language from your tongue?

Amph.
Am I your Lord?—Thou false one!—do not call me
By that false name.

Sos.
A pretty business truly,
If she has chang'd him now from Lord to Lady!

Alc.
What have I done, that you should talk to me
In terms like these?

Amph.
When you yourself proclaim
What you have done, why ask of me in what
You have offended?

Alc.
Is my being with you,
Who are my husband, an offence to you?

Amph.
With me? was you with me?—O impudence
Unparallel'd!—If you are void of shame,
You might at least have borrow'd the appearance.

Alc.
The crime, with which you charge me, ne'er disgrac'd
Our family; and though you mean to fix
The imputation on me of incontinence,
You cannot trap me.

Amph.
O immortal Gods!—
At least you know me, Sosia?

Sos.
Pretty well.

Amph.
Did I not sup last-night on board our ship
In the Euboean port?

Alc.
I have at hand
Witnesses likewise, ready to confirm
All that I say.

Amph.
How! witnesses?

Alc.
Yes, witnesses.

Amph.
You produce witnesses?

Alc.
Yet one's sufficient:
For nobody was by besides ourselves,
But Sosia.

Sos.
Troth I know not what to say
In this affair.—Haply there is some other
Amphitryon, who takes care, Sir, of your business,
And does your office here, while you're away.
'Tis very wonderful that other Sosia,—
But this Amphitryon is a greater wonder!

Alc.
Now by the kingdom of the Pow'r Supreme,
By Juno, Matron Goddess, whom to fear
And reverence is most fitting, here I swear,
That never mortal man, save you alone,
Has had my love,—none wooed me to dishonour.

Amph.
Would this were true!

Alc.
I speak the very truth;
But all in vain, since you will not believe.

Amph.
You are a woman, and can boldly swear.

Alc.
Bold may she be, who no offence has wrought,
And with a confident and haughty spirit
Plead her own cause.

Amph.
You're bold enough.

Alc.
No more
Than does become a modest and a virtuous.

Amph.
As far as words can make you, you are honest.

Alc.
I hold not that my portion, which is call'd so,
But honour, modesty, subdued desires,
Fear of the gods, affection for my parents,
And friendship with my kindred,—that to you
I am obedient, bounteous to the good,
And ever ready to assist the virtuous.

Sos.
Now by my soul, if what she says is true,
She is the very model of perfection.

Amph.
I scarce know who I am, I'm so bewilder'd.

Sos.
You are Amphitryon doubtless: but beware,
You do not lose yourself; for men, you find,
Are strangely metamorphos'd since our coming.

Amph.
I am resolv'd to search into this matter.

Alc.
With all my heart.

Amph.
How say you?—answer me.
What if I bring your kinsman Naucrates,
Who in the same ship bore me company:—
If he deny all you assert for fact,
What treatment is your due?—Can you shew cause,
Why you should not be punish'd with divorce?

Alc.
Prove me delinquent, then there is no cause.

Amph.
Agreed.—You, Sosia, lead these captives in.—
I'll find out Naucrates, and bring him hither,
[Exit Amphitryon.

Sos.
(To Alc.)
Now there is no one here besides ourselves,
Tell me in sober sadness, is there not
Within another Sosia, like to me?

Alc.
Go, fellow—a fit slave for such a master!

Sos.
I will be gone for good, if you command.
[Exit Sosia.

Alcmena
alone.
'Tis wondrous strange, my husband should be pleas'd
Thus to accuse me of so foul a crime,
So wrongfully.—But I shall learn it soon,
Whate'er the cause be, from my kinsman Naucrates.

[Alcmena goes in.