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As ye would have me in your merchandisings,
Buyings and sellings, prosper you with gain,
And forward you in all your undertakings;
As ye would have me turn to your advantage
All your concerns in business, and accounts,
At home here, and abroad; as ye would wish,
That I should crown your ventures now on foot,
Or which shall be hereafter, with encrease
Of fair, and ample, and continual gain;
As ye would have me be the messenger
Of good to you and yours, and tidings bring
Such as shall most advance your common interest;
(For ye well know, that by the other gods
'Tis giv'n me to preside o'er news and trade)
As ye would have my favour in these points,
Still to supply you with perpetual gain;
So shall ye silently attend this play,
So shall ye all be fair and upright judges.

By whose command, and wherefore I am come,
I'll now relate, and likewise tell my name.
I come by Jove's command: my name is Mercury.
My sire has sent me to implore your favour,
Though by his pow'r he knew he could perforce
Constrain you so to act as he should order;
For he is not to learn how much ye fear
And reverence high Jove, as is your duty:
Yet has he order'd me with mild petition
To use entreaty, and in gentle terms;
For that same Jove, by whose command I come,
Has not less dread of harm than any of you:
Nor is it marvellous that he should fear,
Born of an human sire, an human mother:
And I too, even I, who am Jove's son,
Have of my father caught the dread of harm:
Therefore in peace I come, and bring you peace.
I would entreat of you what's just and easy:
For I am come a supplicant from one
That's just himself, sent justly to the just:
For to require what's unjust from the just,
Is unbecoming; and to ask what's just
From the unjust is folly, since they neither
Know what is right, nor pay observance to it.

Now lend attention to my words. Our will
Should be your will: we both have well deserv'd,
I and my sire, of you and your republic.
And wherefore should I mention that I've seen
In tragedies how other deities,
Neptune to wit, Virtue, and Victory,
Mars and Bellona, have with boasts recounted
The good that they have done you? all which benefits
My father wrought, the ruler of the gods:
But it was never yet a custom with him
To twit the good with any good he did:
He thinks your gratitude repays his kindness,
And that ye well deserve the good he does you.

Now what I'm come to ask I'll first premise,
Then tell the argument of this our tragedy.
Why are your brows contracted? Is't because
A tragedy I call'd it? I'm a god,
And I will change it, if it be your pleasure;
I will convert it from a tragedy
To comedy, the verses still the same.
Would ye it so, or not? But I'm a fool!
As though I did not know, who am a god,
What ye would have. Your minds I understand,
Respecting this affair.—It shall be so;
Our play shall have a proper mixture in it,
So shall it be a Tragi-comedy.
For, as I think, it is not right in me
To make it wholly comedy, where kings
And gods are introduc'd. What then remains?
Why, since there is a slave in't plays a part,
I'll make it, as I said, a Tragi-comedy.

Now Jove has order'd me to beg of you,
That the inspectors, each of them, may go
Among the audience into all the seats
Throughout the theatre; and if they find
Any suborn'd and planted partially
To clap an actor, let them take their gowns
Upon the spot as lawful perquisites.
Further, if any should the palm solicit
For a performer, or whatever artist,
Or by themselves, by writing, or by message;
Or if the Ædiles should the prize decree,
In violation of their oath, unjustly;
Jove has commanded, that the self-same law
Be put in force against them, as if any one
Should seek by indirection to obtain
An office in the state or for himself,
Or for another. You, he said, were conquerors
Through worth, not by ambition, or by perfidy.
Why should the law less hold against the player,
Than the chief persons in the common-wealth?
From merit, not by favour, we should seek
To gain the prize. He who acquits him well
Will find enough to favour him, if they
Are honest, to whose hands th'affair is trusted.
This likewise has my father giv'n in charge,
That there should be inspectors o'er the players;
So that if any of them should suborn
A party to applaud them, or prevent
By unfair practices another's pleasing,
Their dresses may be stript from off their backs,
And skin too in the bargain.—Wonder not,
That Jove concerns him now about the Actors:
Himself will play a part in this our Comedy.
Why should ye be amaz'd, as though it were
A thing unheard of until now, that Jove
Should turn a stage-player? Upon this stage,
'Tis but a year since,—when the actors call'd
On Jupiter, he came, and lent them aid.
He surely may appear in tragedy:
I say then, in this play will Jove himself
Perform a part, and I together with him.

Now lend attention, whilst that I unfold
The argument of this our Comedy.
This city here is Thebes, and in that house
Amphitryon dwells, an Argive by his birth,
Sprung from an Argive father, and with whom
Alcmena married, daughter of Electryon.
This same Amphitryon now commands in chief
The Theban forces; for there is a war
Betwixt the Thebans and the Teleboans.
Ere his departure hence to join the troops,
His wife was pregnant by him. Verily
Ye know my father, how he is inclin'd,
How freely he indulges in love-matters,
With what excess he doats, where once he loves.
He for Alcmena entertain'd a passion
Unknown unto the husband, and possess'd her,
Whence she grew pregnant from his stol'n embrace.
That ye may rightly read her situation,
Know she is pregnant with a double issue,
Both by her husband and by highest Jove.
My father is now with her in this house,
And for that reason is this night prolong'd,
Whilst with his love he takes his pleasure: yet
In form he seems as though he were Amphitryon.

Be not astonish'd then at this my habit,
That I come forth thus in a servile garb.
I shall present you with an ancient tale,
[Set forth in Greek, now in the Latin tongue]
Made new; and therefore do I come apparell'd
In a new fashion. Jupiter my father
Is now within, chang'd to Amphitryon's form;
And all the slaves, that see him, think he is
The same, so readily he shifts his shape,
Whene'er his godship pleases. And I too
Have taken on myself a servant's form,
The form of Sosia, he who went from hence
Together with Amphitryon to the army;
That in this guise my father I might serve
In his amour, and no one of the family
Ask who I am, when they shall see me here
Frequent about the house; but as they'll think me
Their fellow-servant, none will question me
Or who I am, or wherefore I came hither.
My father is indulging now within
His heart's desire, and her, whom most he loves,
Clasps in his fond embrace; recounts to her
What was transacted in the army; she,
Mean while, mistakes th'adulterer for her husband.
He tells her how he put the enemies troops
To flight, and that they gave him many gifts.
These gifts, bestow'd upon Amphitryon, we
Have stolen; for my father can with ease
Do what he will.—Now on this very day
Amphitryon will arrive here from the army,
Together with his slave, whose form I bear.
That ye may then distinguish us more readily,
I on my hat these little wings shall wear,
My father, he will bear a golden tuft;
Which mark the right Amphitryon will not have:
And no one of the family will be able
To see these marks; ye only shall discern them.
But Sosia yonder comes, Amphitryon's slave:
He's from the port, and bears him hitherward,
A lanthorn in his hand: he makes for home,
But I shall drive him thence.—So—here he is;
And he will soon be knocking at the door.
It will be worth your while to mark how Jove
And Mercury will play the parts of actors.