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298

ACT V.

SCENE I.

MENEDEMUS
alone.
That I'm not over-wise, no conjurer,
I know full well: but my assistant here,
And counsellor, and grand comptroller Chremes,
Outgoes me far: dolt, blockhead, ninny, ass;
Or these, or any other common terms
By which men speak of fools, befit Me well:
But Him they suit not: His stupidity
Is so transcendent, it exceeds them all.

SCENE II.

Enter CHREMES.
Chremes,
to Sostrata within.]
Nay prithee, good wife, cease to stun the Gods
With thanking them that you have found your daughter;
Unless you fancy they are like yourself,
And think, they cannot understand a thing

299

Unless said o'er and o'er a hundred times.
—But meanwhile [coming forward.]
wherefore do my son and Syrus

Loiter so long?

Mene.
Who are those loiterers, Chremes?

Chremes.
Ha, Menedemus, are You there?—Inform me,
Have you told Clinia what I said?

Mene.
The whole.

Chremes.
And what said he?

Mene.
Grew quite transported at it,
Like those who wish for marriage.

Chremes.
Ha! ha! ha!

Mene.
What do you laugh at?

Chremes.
I was thinking of
The cunning rogueries of that slave, Syrus.

[laughing.
Mene.
Oh, was That it?

Chremes.
Why, he can form and mould
The very visages of men, a rogue!

[laughing.
Mene.
Meaning my son's well-acted transport?

Chremes.
Ay.

[laughing.
Mene.
The very same thing I was thinking of.

Chremes.
A subtle villain!

[laughing.
Mene.
Nay, if you knew more,
You'd be still more convinc'd on't.

Chremes.
Say you so?

Mene.
Ay; do but hear.


300

Chremes,
laughing.]
Hold! hold! inform me first
How much you're out of pocket. For as soon
As you inform'd your son of my consent,
Dromo, I warrant, gave you a broad hint,
That the bride wanted jewels, cloaths, attendants;
That you might pay the money.

Mene.
No.

Chremes.
How? No?

Mene.
No, I say.

Chremes.
What! nor Clinia?

Mene.
Not a word;
But only prest the marriage for to-day.

Chremes.
Amazing!—But our Syrus? Did not He
Throw in a word or two?

Mene.
Not he.

Chremes.
How so?

Mene.
Faith, I can't tell: but I'm amaz'd that you,
Who see so clearly into all the rest,
Shou'd stick at this.—But that arch villain Syrus
Has form'd and moulded your son too so rarely,
That nobody can have the least suspicion,
That this is Clinia's mistress.

Chremes.
How?

Mene.
I pass
Their kisses and embraces. All that's nothing.


301

Chremes.
What is there more that he can counterfeit?

Mene.
Ah!

[smiling.
Chremes.
What d'ye mean?

Mene.
Nay, do but hear. I have
A private snug apartment, a back-room,
Whither a bed was brought and made.

Chremes.
What then?

Mene.
No sooner done, than in went Clitipho.

Chremes.
Alone?

Mene.
Alone.

Chremes.
I tremble.

Mene.
Bacchis follow'd.

Chremes.
Alone?

Mene.
Alone.

Chremes.
Undone!

Mene.
No sooner in,
But they made fast the door.

Chremes.
Ha! And was Clinia
Witness to this?

Mene.
He was.—Both He and I.


302

Chremes.
Bacchis is my son's mistress, Menedemus!
I'm ruin'd.

Mene.
Why d'ye think so?

Chremes.
Mine is scarce
A Ten-days family.

Mene.
What! are you dismay'd
Because he sticks so closely to his friend?

Chremes.
Friend! His She-friend.

Mene.
If so—

Chremes.
Is that a doubt?
Is any man so courteous, and so patient,
As tamely to stand by, and see his mistress—

Mene.
Ha, ha, ha! Why not?—That I, you know,
Might be more easily impos'd upon.

[ironically.
Chremes.
D'ye laugh at me? I'm angry with myself:
And well I may. How many circumstances
Conspir'd to make it gross and palpable,
Had I not been a stone!—What things I saw!
Fool, fool!—But by my life I'll be reveng'd;
For now—

Mene.
And can't you then contain yourself?
Have you no self-respect? And am not I
A full example for you?

Chremes.
Menedemus,

303

My anger throws me quite beside myself.

Mene.
That you should talk thus! Is it not a shame
To be so liberal of advice to others,
So wise abroad, and poor in sense at home?

Chremes.
What shall I do?

Mene.
That which but even now
You counsell'd me to do: Give him to know
That you're indeed a father: let him dare
Trust his whole soul to you, seek, ask of you;
Lest he to others have recourse, and leave you.

Chremes.
And let him go; go where he will; much rather
Than here by his extravagance reduce
His father to distress and beggary.
For if I should continue to supply
The course of his expences, Menedemus,
Your desp'rate rakes wou'd be my lot indeed.

Mene.
Ah, to what evils you'll expose yourself,
Unless you're cautious! You will seem severe,
And yet forgive him afterwards, and then
With an ill grace too.

Chremes.
Ah, you do not know

304

How much this grieves me.

Mene.
Well, well, take your way.
But tell me, do you grant me my request
That this your new-found daughter wed my son?
Or is there ought more welcome to you?

Chremes.
Nothing.
The son-in-law, and the alliance please me.

Mene.
What portion shall I tell my son you've settled?
Why are you silent?

Chremes.
Portion!

Mene.
Ay, what portion?

Chremes.
Ah!

Mene.
Fear not, Chremes, tho' it be but small:
The portion nothing moves us.

Chremes.
I propos'd,
According to my fortune, that Two Talents
Were full sufficient: But you now must say,
If you'd save me, my fortune, and my son,
That I have settled all I have upon her.

Mene.
What mean you?

Chremes.
Counterfeit amazement too,
And question Clitipho my reason for it.

Mene.
Nay, but I really do not know your reason.

Chremes.
My reason for it?—That his wanton mind,

305

Now flush'd with lux'ry and lasciviousness,
I may o'erwhelm: and bring him down so low,
He may not know which way to turn himself.

Mene.
What are you at?

Chremes.
Allow me! let me have
My own way in this business.

Mene.
I allow you.
It is your pleasure?

Chremes.
It is.

Mene.
Be it so.

Chremes.
Come then, let Clinia haste to call the bride.
And for this son of mine, he shall be school'd,
As children ought.—But Syrus!—

Mene.
What of him?

Chremes.
What! I'll so handle him, so curry him,
That while he lives he shall remember me.
[ Exit Menedemus.
What make a jest of me? a laughing-stock?
Now, afore heav'n, he would not dare to treat
A poor lone widow, as he treated me.

 

Peter Nannius observes that the beds among the antients were portable, and produces a passage from the Odyssey, wherein Penelope orders the marriage-bed to be produced, to try whether Ulysses was really her husband, or an impostor, by his manner of acknowledging it; because this bed was formed out of the trunk of an olive, wrought into the apartment itself, and therefore, contrary to the nature of other beds, could not be removed. Westerhovius.

One of the great beauties of this scene consists in Chremes' retorting on Menedemus the very advice given by himself at the beginning of the piece. Dacier.

The departure of Menedemus here is very abrupt, seeming to be in the midst of a conversation; and his re-entrance with Clitipho, already supposed to be apprized of what had past between the two old gentlemen, is equally precipitate. Menage imagines that some verses are lost here. Madam Dacier strains hard to defend the poet, and fills up the void of time by her old expedient of making the audience wait to see Chremes walk impatiently to and fro, till a sufficient time is elapsed for Menedemus to have given Clitipho a summary account of the cause of his father's anger. The truth is, that a too strict observance of Unity of Place will necessarily produce such absurdities; and there are several other instances of the like nature in Terence.


306

SCENE III.

Re-enter MENEDEMUS with CLITIPHO and SYRUS.
Clit.
And can it, Menedemus, can it be,
My father has so suddenly cast off
All natural affection? for what act?
What crime, alas, so heinous have I done?
It is a common failing.

Mene.
This, I know,
Should be more heavy and severe to you
On whom it falls: and yet am I no less
Affected by it, tho' I know not why,
And have no other reason for my grief,
But that I wish you well.

Clit.
Did not you say
My father waited here?

Mene.
Ay; there he is.
[Exit Menedemus.

Chremes.
Why d'ye accuse your father, Clitipho?
Whate'er I've done, was providently done
Tow'rd you and your imprudence. When I saw
Your negligence of soul, and that you held

307

The pleasures of to-day your only care,
Regardless of the morrow; I found means
That you shou'd neither want, nor waste my substance.
When You, whom fair succession first made heir,
Stood self-degraded by unworthiness,
I went to those the next in blood to you,
Committing and consigning all to Them.
There shall your weakness, Clitipho, be sure
Ever to find a refuge; food, and raiment,
And roof to fly to.

Clit.
Ah me!

Chremes.
Better thus,
Than, you being heir, for Bacchis to have all.

Syrus.
Distraction! what disturbances have I,
Wretch that I am, all unawares created!

Clit.
Wou'd I were dead!

Chremes.
Learn first, what 'tis to live.
When you know That, if life displeases you,
Then talk of dying.

Syrus.
Master, may I speak?

Chremes.
Speak.

Syrus.
But with safety?

Chremes.
Speak.

Syrus.
How wrong is this,

308

Or rather what extravagance and madness,
To punish him for my offence!

Chremes.
Away!
Do not you meddle. No one blames you, Syrus!
Nor need you to provide a sanctuary,
Or intercessor.

Syrus.
What is it you do?

Chremes.
I am not angry, nor with you, nor him:
Nor should you take offence at what I do.
[Exit Chremes.

SCENE IV.

Syrus.
He's gone. Ah, wou'd I'd ask'd him—

Clit.
Ask'd what, Syrus?

Syrus.
Where I shou'd eat, since he has cast us off.
You, I perceive, are quarter'd on your sister.

Clit.
Is't come to this, that I shou'd be in fear
Of starving, Syrus?

Syrus.
So we do but live,
There's hope—

Clit.
Of what?

Syrus.
That we shall have rare stomachs.

Clit.
D'ye jest at such a time as this;

309

And lend me no assistance by your counsel?

Syrus.
Nay, I was studying for you even now,
And was so all the while your father spoke.
And far as I can understand this—

Clit.
What?

Syrus.
Stay, you shall have it presently.

[thinking.
Clit.
Well, what?

Syrus.
Thus then: I don't believe that you're their son:

Clit.
How, Syrus! are you mad?

Syrus.
I'll speak my thoughts.
Be you the judge. While they had You alone,
While yet there was no other, nearer joy,
You they indulg'd, and gave with open hand:
But now a daughter's found, their real child,
A cause is found to drive you forth.

Clit.
'Tis like.

Syrus.
Think you this fault so angers him?

Clit.
I think not.

Syrus.
Consider too; 'tis ever found, that mothers
Plead for their sons, and in the father's wrath
Defend them. 'Tis not so at present.

Clit.
True.
What shall I do then, Syrus?

Syrus.
Ask of them

310

The truth of this suspicion. Speak your thoughts.
If 'tis not so, you'll speedily incline them
Both to compassion; or, if so, be told
Whose son you are.

Clit.
Your counsel's good. I'll do't.

SCENE V.

SYRUS
alone.
A lucky thought of mine! for Clitipho,
The less he hopes, so much more easily
Will he reduce his father to good terms.
Besides, who knows but he may take a wife;
No thanks to Syrus neither.—But who's here?
Chremes!—I'm off; for seeing what has past,
I wonder that he did not order me
To be truss'd up immediately. I'll hence
To Menedemus, and prevail on him
To intercede for me: as matters stand,
I dare not trust to our old gentleman.
[Exit Syrus.

 

The art and address of this stratagem of Syrus is excellent, and cannot be sufficiently admired. Dacier.


311

SCENE VI.

Enter CHREMES, SOSTRATA.
Sostra.
Nay indeed, husband, if you don't take care,
You'll bring some kind of mischief on your son:
I can't imagine how a thought so idle
Could come into your head.

Chremes.
Still, woman, still
D'ye contradict me? Did I ever wish
For any thing in all my life, but you
In that same thing oppos'd me, Sostrata?
Yet now if I should ask, wherein I'm wrong,
Or wherefore I act thus, you do not know.
Why then d'ye contradict me, Simpleton?

Sostra.
Not know?

Chremes.
Well, well, you know: I grant it, rather
Than hear your idle story o'er again.

Sostra.
Ah, 'tis unjust in you to ask my silence
In such a thing as this.

Chremes.
I do not ask it.
Speak if you will: I'll do it ne'ertheless.

Sostra.
Will you?


312

Chremes.
I will.

Sostra.
You don't perceive what harm
May come of this. He thinks himself a foundling.

Chremes.
A foundling, say you?

Sostra.
Yes indeed, he does.

Chremes.
Confess it to be true.

Sostra.
Ah, heav'n forbid!
Let our most bitter enemies do that!
Shall I disown my son, my own dear child?

Chremes.
What! do you fear you cannot at your pleasure,
Produce convincing proofs that he's your own?

Sostra.
Is it, because my daughter's found, you say this?


313

Chremes.
No: but because, a stronger reason far,
His manners so resemble yours, you may
Easily prove him thence to be your son.
He is quite like you: not a vice, whereof
He is inheritor, but dwells in You:
And such a son no mother but yourself
Could have engender'd.—But he comes.—How grave!
Look in his face, and you may guess his plight.

 

Subditum se SUSPICATUR. It is odd enough that Madam Dacier changes the text here, according to an alteration of her father, and reads SUSPICETUR, He MAY think himself a foundling—and assigns as a reason for it, that Terence could not be guilty of the very impropriety which she undertook to vindicate in the preceding scene. I have followed the common reading; because Chremes, ordering her to confirm her son's suspicions, shews that he understood her words in a positive, not a potential, sense. Clitipho, on his entrance in the next scene, seems to renew a request already made; and it would be a poor artifice in the poet, and, as Patrick observes, below the genius of Terence, to make Sostrata apprehend that these would be her son's suspicions, before she had any reason to suppose so.

Madam Dacier, as well as all the rest of the commentators, has stuck at these words. Most of them imagine she means to say, that the discovery of Antiphila is a plain proof that she is not barren. Madam Dacier supposes that she intimates such a proof to be easy, because Clitipho and Antiphila were extremely alike; which sense she thinks immediately confirmed by the answer of Chremes. I cannot agree with any of them, and think that the whole difficulty of the passage here, as in many other places, is entirely of their own making. Sostrata could not refer to the reply of Chremes, because she could not possibly tell what it would be: but her own speech is intended as an answer to his preceding one, which she takes as a sneer on her late wonderful discovery of a daughter; imagining that he means to insinuate, that she could at any time with equal ease make out the proofs of the birth of her son.—The elliptical mode of expression, so usual in Terence, together with the refinements of commentators, seem to have created all the obscurity.

SCENE VII.

Enter CLITIPHO.
Clit.
O Mother, if there ever was a time
When you took pleasure in me, or delight
To call me son, beseech you, think of that;
Pity my present misery, and tell me
Who are my real parents!

Sostra.
My dear son,
Take not, I beg, that notion to your mind,
That you're an alien to our blood.

Clit.
I am.

Sostra.
Ah me! and can you then demand me that?
So may you prosper after both, as you're

314

Of both the child! and if you love your mother,
Take heed henceforward that I never hear
Such words from you.

Chremes.
And if you fear your father,
See that I never find such vices in you.

Clit.
What vices?

Chremes.
What? I'll tell you. Trifler, idler,
Cheat, drunkard, whoremaster, and prodigal.
—Think this, and think that you are our's.

Sostra.
These words
Suit not a father.

Chremes.
No, no, Clitipho,
Tho' from my brain you had been born, as Pallas
Sprang, it is said, from Jupiter, I wou'd not
Bear the disgrace of your enormities.

Sostra.
The Gods forbid—

Chremes.
I know not for the Gods:

315

I will do all that lies in Me. You seek
For parents, which you have: but what is wanting,
Obedience to your father, and the means
To keep what he by labour hath acquir'd,
For That you seek not.—Did you not by tricks
Ev'n to my presence introduce—I blush
To speak immodestly before your mother:
But you by no means blush'd to do't.

Clit.
Alas!
How hateful am I to myself! how much
Am I asham'd! so lost, I cannot tell
How to attempt to pacify my father.

 

I cannot help considering this as a touch of comick anger. However, all the commentators are of a different opinion; and it is generally imagined that this is the passage alluded to by Horace, when he says in his Art of Poetry,

Interdum tamen & vocem Comœdia tollit;
Iratusque Chremes tumido delitigat ore.
Yet Comedy sometimes her voice may raise,
And angry Chremes rail in swelling phrase.
Francis.

Nescio Deos. Lambinus, in his admirable letter to Charles the 9th, accuses Terence of impiety: but the charge is groundless. Nay, had Terence been ever so wicked, he would scarce have been so imprudent as to introduce impious expressions in a play which was to be licensed by the magistrates. Nescio Deos does not imply, I care not for the Gods, but, I know not what the Gods will do. This is farther confirmed by a passage in the fourth scene of the second act. Antiphila, in answer to what Bacchis tells her of other women, says Nescio alias, &c. For my own part (says she) I know not what other women may do, &c. and not, I don't care for other women. Dacier.

The Greeks and Romans were remarkably polite in this particular. They would, upon no account whatever, express themselves indecently before their wives. Religion, policy, and good manners forbad it. Dacier.

SCENE VIII.

Enter MENEDEMUS.
Mene.
Now in good faith our Chremes plagues his son
Too long and too severely. I come forth
To reconcile him, and make peace between them.
And there they are!


316

Chremes.
Ha, Menedemus! wherefore
Is not my daughter summon'd? and the portion,
I settled on her, ratified by You?

Sostra.
Dear husband, I beseech you not to do it!

Clit.
My father, I intreat you pardon me!

Mene.
Forgive him, Chremes! let his pray'rs prevail!

Chremes.
What! shall I then with open eyes bestow
My whole estate on Bacchis? I'll not do't.

Mene.
We will prevent that. It shall not be so.

Clit.
If you regard my life, forgive me, father!

Sostra.
Do, my dear Chremes!

Mene.
Do, I prithee now!
Be not obdurate, Chremes!

Chremes.
Why is this?
I see I can't proceed as I've begun.

Mene.
'Tis as it shou'd be now.

Chremes.
On this condition,
That he agrees to do what I think fit.

Clit.
I will do ev'ry thing. Command me, father!

Chremes.
Take a wife.

Clit.
Father!

Chremes.
Nay, Sir, no denial!

Mene.
I take that charge upon me. He shall do't.

Chremes.
But I don't hear a word of it from him.

Clit.
Confusion!


317

Sostra.
Do you doubt then, Clitipho?

Chremes.
Nay, which he pleases.

Mene.
He'll obey in all;
Whate'er you'd have him.

Sostra.
This, at first, is grievous,
While you don't know it; when you know it, easy.

Clit.
I'm all obedience, father!

Sostra.
Oh my son,
I'll give you a sweet wife, that you'll adore,
Phanocrata's, our neighbour's daughter.

Clit.
Her!
That red-hair'd, blear-ey'd, wide-mouth'd, hook-nos'd wench?
I cannot, father.

Chremes.
Oh, how nice he is!
Would any one imagine it?

Sostra.
I'll get you
Another then.

Clit.
Well, well; since I must marry,
I know one pretty near my mind.

Sostra.
Good boy!

Clit.
The daughter of Archonides, our neighbour.

Sostra.
Well chosen!

Clit.
One thing, father, still remains.

Chremes.
What?


318

Clit.
That you'd grant poor Syrus a full pardon
For all that he hath done on my account.

Chremes.
Be it so.— [to the Audience.]
Farewell, Sirs, and clap your hands!


 

Terence's comedy of the Self-Tormentor is from the beginning to the end a perfect picture of human life, but I did not observe in the whole one passage that could raise a laugh.

Steele's Spectator, No. 502.

The idea of this drama [Comedy] is much enlarged beyond what it was in Aristotle's time; who defines it to be, an imitation of light and trivial actions, provoking ridicule. His notion was taken from the state and practice of the Athenian stage; that is, from the old or middle comedy, which answers to this description. The great revolution, which the introduction of the new comedy made in the drama, did not happen till afterwards. This proposed for its object, in general, the actions and characters of ordinary life; which are not, of necessity, ridiculous, but, as appears to every observer, of a mixt kind, serious, as well as ludicrous, and, within their proper sphere of influence, not unfrequently even important. This kind of imitation, therefore, now admits the serious; and its scenes, even without the least mixture of pleasantry, are entirely COMICK. Though the common run of laughers in our theatre are so little aware of the extension of this province, that I should scarcely have hazarded the observation, but for the authority of Terence, who hath confessedly very little of the pleasant in his drama. Nay, one of the most admired of his comedies hath the gravity, and, in some places, almost the solemnity of tragedy itself.

Hurd's Dissertation on the several Provinces of the Drama.

—Terence,—whether impelled by his native humour, or determined by his truer taste, mixed so little of the ridiculous in his comedy, as plainly shews, it might, in his opinion, subsist entirely without it.

DITTO.

In the passages, selected from the ingenious and learned critick last cited, are these four positions. First, that Aristotle (who founded his notion of Comedy on the Margites of Homer, as he did that of Tragedy on the Iliad) had not so enlarged an idea of that kind of drama, as we have at this time, or as was entertained by the authors of the new comedy: Secondly, that this kind of imitation, even without the LEAST MIXTURE of pleasantry, is entirely COMICK: Thirdly, that Comedy might, in the opinion of Terence, subsist entirely without the RIDICULOUS: And fourthly, that the Self-Tormentor hath the gravity of tragedy itself.

The two first positions concerning Aristotle's idea of this kind of imitation, and the genius of Comedy itself, it is not necessary to examine at present; and indeed they are questions of too extensive a nature to be agitated in a fugitive note: But in regard to the two last positions, with all due deference to the learned critick, I will venture to assert that the authority of Terence cannot be fairly pleaded in confirmation of the doctrine, that Comedy may subsist without the least mixture of the pleasant or ridiculous. Térence, say the French criticks, fait rire au dedans, & Plaute au dehors. The humour of Terence is indeed of a more chaste and delicate complection than that of Plautus, Jonson, or Moliere. There are also, it is true, many grave and affecting passages in his plays, which Horace in his rule of Interdum tamen, &c. and even “the common run of laughers in our theatre” allow and applaud in our gayest comedies. I cannot however think that he ever trespasses on the severity or solemnity of Tragedy: nor can I think that there are not touches of humour in every one of the plays, which he has left behind him; some humour of dialogue, more of character, and still more of comick situation, necessarily resulting from the artful contexture of his pieces. The Andrian, The Eunuch, The Brothers, and Phormio, especially the second and fourth, are confessedly pleasant comedies, and the Eunuch in particular the most favourite entertainment of the Roman theatre. Instances of humour have been produced, by the ingenious critick himself, even from the Step-Mother; and the ensuing notes will probably point out more. As to the present comedy, the Self-Tormentor, I should imagine that a man, with much less mercury in his composition than Sir Richard Steele, might have met with more than one or two passages in it that would raise a laugh. Terence indeed does not, like the player-clowns mentioned by Shakespeare's Hamlet, “set on the spectators to laugh, though in the mean time some necessary question of the play be to be considered.” He never starts from the subject, merely to indulge himself in pleasantries, like Plautus and even Moliere, for whole scenes together. His humour always arises from the occasion, and flows from him in the natural course of the fable; in which he not only does not admit idle scenes, but scarce ever a speech that is not immediately conducive to the business of the drama. His humour, therefore, must necessarily be close and compact, and requires the constant attention of the reader to the incidents that produce it, on which dramatick humour often in great measure depends; but would of course unfold itself in the representation, when those incidents were thrown into action. In the present comedy, the character of Syrus, bating the description in the second act, must be allowed to be wholly comick; and that of Chremes still more so. The conduct of the third and fourth acts is happily contrived for the production of mirth, and the situation of the two old men in the first scene of the fifth act is very pleasantly imagined. The deep distress of Menedemus, with which the play opens, makes but a very inconsiderable part of Terence's comedy; and I am apt to think, as I have before hinted in another place, that the Self-Tormentor of Menander was a more capital and interesting character. As our poet has contrived, the self-punishment of Menedemus ends as soon as the play begins. The son returns in the very second scene; and the chief cause of the grief of Menedemus being removed, other incidents, and those of the most comick cast too, are worked into the play; which, in relation to the subject of it, might perhaps, with more propriety, have been entitled The Fathers, than The Self-Tormentor. I cannot therefore, notwithstanding the pathos and simplicity of the first scene, agree to the last position, “that this comedy hath the gravity of tragedy itself.”