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278

ACT IV.

SCENE I.

SYRUS
alone.
My mind misgives me, my defeat is nigh.
This unexpected incident has driven
My forces into such a narrow pass,
I cannot even handsomely retreat
Without some feint, to hinder our old man
From seeing that this wench is Clitipho's.
As for the money, and the trick I dreamt of,
Those hopes are flown, and I shall hold it triumph,
So I but 'scape a scouring.—Cursed Fortune,
To have so delicate a morsel snatch'd
Out of my very jaws!—What shall I do?

279

What new device? for I must change my plan.
—Nothing so difficult, but may be won
By industry.—Suppose, I try it thus.
[thinking.
—'Twill never do.—Or thus?—No better still.
But thus I think.—No, no.—Yes, excellent!
Courage! I have it.—Good!—Good!—Best of all!—
—'Faith, I begin to hope to lay fast hold
Of that same slipp'ry money after all.

 

Madam Dacier, and most of the later criticks who have implicitly followed her, tell us that, in the interval between the third and fourth acts, Syrus has been present at the interview between Chremes and Antiphila within. The only difficulty in this doctrine is how to reconcile to it the apparent ignorance of Syrus, which he discovers at the entrance of Clinia. But this objection, says she, is easily answered. Syrus having partly heard Antiphila's story, and finding things take an unfavourable turn, retires to consider what is best to be done. But surely this is a most unnatural impatience at so critical a juncture: and after all, would it not be better to take up the matter just where Terence has left it, and to suppose that Syrus knew nothing more of the affair than what might be collected from the late conversation between Chremes and Sostrata, at which we know he was present; and which at once accounts for his apprehensions, which he betrayed even during that scene, as well as for his imperfect knowledge of the real state of the case, till apprized of the whole by Clinia?

SCENE II.

Enter CLINIA at another part of the Stage.
Clin.
Henceforward, Fate, do with me what thou wilt!
Such is my joy, so full and absolute,
I cannot know vexation. From this hour
To you, my father, I resign myself,
Content to be more frugal than you wish!

Syrus,
overhearing.]
'Tis just as I suppos'd. The girl's acknowledg'd;
His raptures speak it so.— [going up.]
I'm overjoy'd,

That things have happen'd to your wish.

Clin.
O Syrus!
Have You then heard it too?

Syrus.
I heard it? Ay:

280

I, who was present at the very time!

Clin.
Was ever any thing so lucky?

Syrus.
Nothing.

Clin.
Now, heav'n so help me, I rejoice at this
On her account much rather than my own,
Her, whom I know worthy the highest honours.

Syrus.
No doubt on't.—But now, Clinia, hold awhile!
Give me a moment's hearing in my turn.
For your friend's business must be thought of now,
And well secur'd; lest our old gentleman
Suspect about the wench.

Clin.
O Jupiter!

[in raptures.
Syrus.
Peace!

[impatiently.
Clin.
My Antiphila shall be my wife.

Syrus.
And will you interrupt me?

Clin.
Oh, my Syrus,
What can I do? I'm overjoy'd. Bear with me.

Syrus.
Troth, so I do.

Clin.
We're happy, as the Gods.

Syrus.
I lose my labour on you.

Clin.
Speak; I hear.

Syrus.
Ay, but you don't attend.

Clin.
I'm all attention.

Syrus.
I say then, Clinia, that your friend's affairs

281

Must be attended to, and well secur'd:
For if you now depart abruptly from us,
And leave the wench upon our hands, my master
Will instantly discover, she belongs
To Clitipho. But if you take her off,
It will remain, as still it is, a secret.

Clin.
But, Syrus, this is flatly opposite
To what I most devoutly wish, my marriage.
For with what face shall I accost my father?
D'ye understand me?

Syrus.
Ay.

Clin.
What can I say?
What reason can I give him?

Syrus.
Tell no lie.
Speak the plain truth.

Clin.
How?

Syrus.
Every syllable.
Tell him your passion for Antiphila;
Tell him you wish to marry her, and tell him,
Bacchis belongs to Clitipho.

Clin.
'Tis well,
In reason, and may easily be done:
And then besides you'd have me win my father,
To keep it hid from your old gentleman.

Syrus.
No; rather to prevail on him, to go

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And tell him the whole truth immediately.

Clin.
How? are you mad, or drunk? You'll be the ruin
Of Clitipho: for how can he be safe?
Eh, Sirrah!

Syrus.
That's my masterpiece: This plot
Is my chief glory, and I'm proud to think
I have such force, such pow'r of cunning in me,
As to be able to deceive them both,
By speaking the plain truth: that when your father
Tells Chremes, Bacchis is his own son's mistress,
He shan't believe it.

Clin.
But that way again
You blast my hopes of marriage: for while Chremes
Supposes her my mistress, he'll not grant
His daughter to me. You, perhaps, don't care,
So you provide for him, what comes of me.

Syrus.
Why, plague! d'ye think I'd have you counterfeit
For ever? but a day, to give me time
To bubble Chremes of the money.—Peace!
Not an hour more.

Clin.
Is that sufficient for you?
But then, suppose, his father find it out!

Syrus.
Suppose, as some folks say, the sky should fall!


283

Clin.
Still I'm afraid.

Syrus.
Afraid indeed! as if,
It was not in your pow'r, whene'er you pleas'd,
To clear yourself, and tell the whole affair.

Clin.
Well, well, let Bacchis be brought over then!

Syrus.
Well said! and here she comes.

 

There is a remarkable passage in Arrian's account of Alexander, lib. 4. where he tells us that some embassadors from the Celtæ, being asked by Alexander, what in the world they dreaded most, answered, Δεδιεναι, μηποτε ο ουρανος αυτοις εμπεσοι, “that they feared, lest the sky should fall.” Alexander, who expected to hear himself named, was surprised at an answer, which signified that they thought themselves beyond the reach of all human power, plainly implying that nothing could hurt them, unless he would suppose impossibilities, or a total destruction of nature. Patrick.

SCENE III.

Enter BACCHIS, PHRYGIA, &c. at another Part of the Stage.
Bacch.
Upon my life,
This Syrus with his golden promises
Has fool'd me hither charmingly! Ten Minæ
He gave me full assurance of: but if
He now deceives me, come whene'er he will,
Canting and fawning to allure me hither,
It shall be all in vain; I will not stir.
Or when I have agreed, and fix'd a time,

284

Of which he shall have giv'n his master notice,
And Clitipho is all agog with hope,
I'll fairly jilt them both, and not come near them;
And master Syrus' back shall smart for it.

Clin.
She promises you very fair.

Syrus.
D'ye think
She jests? She'll do it, if I don't take heed.

Bacch.
They sleep: i'faith, I'll rouse them. Hark ye, Phrygia,
Did'st note the villa of Charinus, which
That fellow just now shew'd us?

[aloud.
Phry.
I did, Madam.

Bacch.
The next house on the right hand.

[aloud.
Phry.
I remember.

Bacch.
Run thither quickly: for the Captain spends
The Dionysia there.

[aloud.
Syrus,
behind.]
What means she now?

Bacch.
Tell him I'm here; and sore against my will,
Detain'd by force: but that I'll find some means
To slip away and come to him.

[aloud.
Syrus.
Confusion!—
[comes forward.

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Stay, Bacchis, Bacchis! where d'ye send that girl?
Bid her stop!

Bacch.
Go!

[to Phrygia.
Syrus.
The money's ready.

Bacch.
Then
I stay.

[Phrygia returns.
Syrus.
This instant you shall have it, Bacchis.

Bacch.
When you please; I don't press you.

Syrus.
But d'ye know
What you're to do?

Bacch.
Why, what?

Syrus.
You must go over,
You and your equipage, to Menedemus.

Bacch.
What are you at now, sauce-box?

Syrus.
Coining money,
For your use, Bacchis.

Bacch.
Do you think to play
Your jests on me?

Syrus.
No; this is downright earnest.

Bacch.
Are You the person I'm to deal with?

Syrus.
No.
But there I'll pay the money.

Bacch.
Let us go then!

Syrus.
Follow her there.—Ho, Dromo!

 

Dormiunt; ego pol istos commovebo. Hedelin interprets these words literally; but surely nothing can be more plain, from the whole tenor of the scene, than that they are merely metaphorical, as Menage justly argues.

Villam Charini. This passage alone is a sufficient proof that the feast of Bacchis, mentioned in this play, was the Dionysia in the fields; and consequently that the scene is not laid in Athens, but in the country. Dacier.


286

SCENE IV.

Enter DROMO.
Dromo.
Who calls?

Syrus.
Syrus.

Dromo.
Your pleasure! What's the matter now?

Syrus.
Conduct
All Bacchis' maids to your house instantly.

Dromo.
Why so?

Syrus.
No questions: let them carry over
All they brought hither. Our old gentleman
Will think himself reliev'd from much expence
By their departure. Troth, he little knows,
With how much loss this small gain threatens him.
If you're wise, Dromo, know not what you know.

Dromo.
I'm dumb.

[Exit Dromo, with Bacchis' servants and baggage into the house of Menedemus.

SCENE V.

After which, Enter CHREMES.
Chremes,
to himself.]
'Fore heav'n, I pity Menedemus.
His case is lamentable: to maintain

287

That jade and all her harlot-family!
Altho' I know for some few days to come
He will not feel it; so exceedingly
He long'd to have his son: but when he sees
Such monstrous houshold-riot and expence
Continue daily, without end or measure,
He'll wish his son away from him again.
But yonder's Syrus in good time.

[seeing Syrus.
Syrus.
I'll to him.

[aside.
Chremes.
Syrus!

Syrus.
Who's there?

[turning about.
Chremes.
What now?

Syrus.
The very man!
I have been wishing for you this long time.

Chremes.
You seem to've been at work with the old man.

Syrus.
What! at our plot? No sooner said, than done

Chremes.
Indeed!

Syrus.
Indeed.

Chremes.
I can't forbear to stroke
Your head for it. Good lad! come nearer, Syrus!
I'll do thee some good turn for this. I will,
I promise you.

[patting his head.
Syrus.
Ah, if you did but know
How luckily it came into my head!


288

Chremes.
Pshaw, are you vain of your good luck?

Syrus.
Not I.
I speak the plain truth.

Chremes.
Let me know it then.

Syrus.
Clinia has told his father, that the wench
Is mistress to your Clitipho; and that
He brought her with him hither, to prevent
Your smoking it.

Chremes.
Incomparable!

Syrus.
Really?

Chremes.
O, admirable!

Syrus.
Ay, if you knew all.
But only hear the rest of our device.
He'll tell his father, he has seen your daughter,
Whose beauty has so charm'd him at first sight,
He longs to marry her.

Chremes.
Antiphila?

Syrus.
The same: and he'll request him to demand her
Of you in marriage.

Chremes.
To what purpose, Syrus?
I don't conceive the drift on't.

Syrus.
No! you're slow.

Chremes.
Perhaps so.

Syrus.
Menedemus instantly

289

Will furnish him with money for the wedding,
To buy—d'ye take me?

Chremes.
Cloaths and jewels.

Syrus.
Ay.

Chremes.
But I will neither marry, nor betroth
My daughter to him.

Syrus.
No? Why?

Chremes.
Why!—is that
A question? to a wretch!—

Syrus.
Well, as you please.
I never meant that he should marry her,
But only to pretend—

Chremes.
I hate pretence.
Plot as you please, but do not render me
An engine in your rogueries. Shall I
Contract my daughter, where I never can
Consent to marry her?

Syrus.
I fancied so.

Chremes.
Not I.

Syrus.
It might be done most dextrously:
And, in obedience to your strict commands,
I undertook this business.

Chremes.
I believe it.

Syrus.
However, Sir, I meant it well.


290

Chremes.
Nay, nay,
Do't by all means, and spare no trouble in't;
But bring your scheme to bear some other way.

Syrus.
It shall be done: I'll think upon some other.
—But then the money which I mention'd to you,
Owing to Bacchis by Antiphila,
Must be repaid her: and you will not now
Attempt to shift the matter off; or say,
“—What is't to me? Was I the borrower?
“Did I command it? Could she pledge my daughter
“Against my will?”—You can say none of this;
For 'tis a common saying, and a true,
That strictest law is oft the highest wrong.

Chremes.
I mean not to evade it.

Syrus.
No, I'll warrant.
Nay You, tho' others did, could never think on't;
For all the world imagines you've acquir'd
A fair and handsome fortune.

Chremes.
I will carry

291

The money to her instantly myself.

Syrus.
No; rather send it by your son.

Chremes.
Why so?

Syrus.
Because he acts the part of her gallant.

Chremes.
What then?

Syrus.
Why then 'twill seem more probable,
If he presents it: I too shall effect
My scheme more easily.—And here he is.—
—In, Sir, and fetch the money out.

Chremes.
I will.
[Exit Chremes.

 

Summum jus, sæpe summa est malitia. This, as Syrus himself says, was a proverb. Menander probably made use of it in this very play, as the same sentiment is to be found among his fragments,

Καλον
Οι νομοι σφοδρ' εισιν· ο δ' ορων τους νομους
Λιαν ακριβως, συκοφαντης μοι φαινεται.
The law, 'tis true, is good and excellent;
But he who takes the letter of the law
Too strictly, is a pettyfogging knave.

SCENE VI.

Enter CLITIPHO.
Clit.
to himself.]
Nothing so easy in itself, but when
Perform'd against one's will, grows difficult.
This little walk, how easy! yet how faint
And weary it has made me!—and I fear
Lest I be still excluded, and forbid
To come near Bacchis. [Seeing Syrus.]
—Now all pow'rs above

Confound you, Syrus, for the trick you play'd me!
That brain of your's is evermore contriving
Some villainy to torture me withall.


292

Syrus.
Away, you malapert! Your frowardness
Had well nigh ruin'd me.

Clit.
I would it had,
As you deserv'd!

Syrus.
As I deserv'd!—How's that?—
I'faith I'm glad I heard you say so much
Before you touch'd the cash, that I was just
About to give you.

Clit.
Why, what can I say?
You went away; came back, beyond my hopes,
And brought my mistress with you; then again
Forbad my touching her.

Syrus.
Well, well, I can't
Be peevish with you now.—But do you know
Where Bacchis is?

Clit.
At our house.

Syrus.
No.

Clit.
Where then?

Syrus.
At Clinia's.

Clit.
Then I'm ruin'd.

Syrus.
Courage, man!
You shall go to her instantly, and carry
The money that you promis'd her.

Clit.
Fine talk!

293

Where should I get it?

Syrus.
From your father.

Clit.
Pshaw!
You play upon me.

Syrus.
The event shall shew.

Clit.
Then I am blest indeed. Thanks, thanks, dear Syrus!

Syrus.
Hist! here's your father.—Have a care! don't seem
Surpriz'd at any thing: give way in all:
Do as he bids, and say but little. Mum!

SCENE VII.

Enter CHREMES.
Chremes.
Where's Clitipho?

Syrus,
to Clit.]
Here, say.

Clit.
Here, Sir!

Chremes.
Have You
Inform'd him of the business?

[to Syrus.
Syrus.
In good part.

Chremes.
Here, take the money then, and carry it.

[to Clit.
Syrus.
Plague, how you stand, log!—take it.

Clit.
Give it me.

[aukwardly.
Syrus.
Now in with me immediately!—You, Sir,
[to Chremes.

294

Be pleas'd meanwhile to wait our coming here;
There's nothing to detain us very long.

[Ex. Clit. and Syrus.

SCENE VIII.

CHREMES
alone.
My daughter now has had Ten Minæ of me,
Which I account laid out upon her board:
Ten more her cloaths will come to: and moreover
Two Talents for her portion.—How unjust,
And absolute is custom! I must now
Leave every thing, and find a stranger out,
On whom I may bestow the sum of wealth,
Which I have so much labour'd to acquire.

 

I am charmed with this sentiment, and still more with the good man's application of it. For in fact nothing can be more ridiculous, than that when a father bestows his daughter upon a man, he must also bestow part of his fortune with her. And as a proof, that custom only authorizes such a practice, in antient times the very contrary was the case, money and presents being given to the fathers by those who demanded their daughters in marriage. MADAM DACIER.

SCENE IX.

Enter MENEDEMUS.
Mene.
to himself.]
Oh son, how happy hast thou made thy father,
Convinc'd of thy repentance!


295

Chremes,
overhearing.]
How mistaken!

Mene.
Chremes! I wish'd for you.—'Tis in your power,
And I beseech you do it, to preserve
My son, myself, and family.

Chremes.
I'll do't.
Wherein can I oblige you?

Mene.
You to-day
Have found a daughter.

Chremes.
True. What then?

Mene.
My Clinia
Begs your consent to marry her.

Chremes.
Good heaven!
What kind of man are you?

Mene.
What mean you, Chremes?

Chremes.
Has it then slipt your memory so soon,
The conversation that we had together,
Touching the rogueries they should devise,
To trick you of your money?

Mene.
I remember.

Chremes.
This is the trick.

Mene.
How, Chremes? I'm deceiv'd.
'Tis as you say. From what a pleasing hope
Have I then fall'n!


296

Chremes.
And she, I warrant you,
Now at your house, is my son's mistress? Eh!

Mene.
So they say.

Chremes.
What! and you believ'd it?

Mene.
All.

Chremes.
—And they say too he wants to marry her;
That soon as I've consented, you may give him
Money to furnish him with jewels, cloaths,
And other necessaries.

Mene.
Ay, 'tis so:
The money's for his mistress.

Chremes.
To be sure.

Mene.
Alas, my transports are all groundless then.
—Yet I would rather bear with any thing,
Than lose my son again.—What answer, Chremes,
Shall I return with, that he mayn't perceive
I've found him out, and take offence?

Chremes.
Offence!
You're too indulgent to him, Menedemus!

Mene.
Allow me. I've begun, and must go through.
Do but continue to assist me.


297

Chremes.
Say,
That we have met, and treated of the match.

Mene.
Well; and what else?

Chremes.
That I give full consent;
That I approve my son-in-law;—In short,
You may assure him also, if you please,
That I've betroth'd my daughter to him.

Mene.
Good!
The thing I wanted.

Chremes.
So shall he the sooner
Demand the money; you, as you desire,
The sooner give.

Mene.
'Tis my desire indeed.

Chremes.
'Troth, friend, as far as I can judge of this,
You'll soon be weary of your son again.
But as the case now stands, give cautiously,
A little at a time, if you are wise.

Mene.
I will.

Chremes.
Go in, and see what he demands.
If you shou'd want me, I'm at home.

Mene.
'Tis well.
For I shall let you know, do what I will.

[Exeunt severally.
 

These two or three speeches are differently divided in different editions. I have followed that order, which seemed to me to create the most lively and natural dialogue.