University of Virginia Library

SCEN. 2.

Phantastes. A swart complexion'd fellow but quick ey'd, in a white Satten dublet of one fashion, greene veluet hose of an other? Aphantasticall hat with a plume of fethers of seuerall collours, a little short taffata cloake, a paire of Buskins cut, drawne out with sundry coloured Ribands, with scarfes hung about him,

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after all fashions, and of all collours, ringes, Iewells, a fanne, and in euery place other od complements.
Hevresis. A nimble sprighted page in the newest fashion with a garland of Bayes. &c.
Phantastes. Hevresis.
Phan.

Sirra Boy Heuresis boy how now byting your nailes?

Hev.

Three things haue trobled my braine this many a day,
and iust now, when I was laying hold on the Inuention of thē,
your suddaine call, made them like Tantalus apples, flie from
my fingers.

Ph.

Some great matters questionles, what were they?

Hev.

The quadrature of a circle, the Philosophers stone and
the next way to the Indies;

Ph.

Thou dost well to meditate on these three things at once
for theile bee found out altogither, ad græcas calendas, but let
them passe and cary the conceite, I told you this morning to the
partie you wot of. In my immagination tis Capritious, t'will
take I warrant thee.

Hev.

I will Sir, But what say you to the gentleman that
was with you yesterday?

Ph.

O I thinke thou meanest him that made 19. sonnets of
his mistris Busk-point;

Hev.

The same, the same, Sir. You promis'd to helpe him out
with th'twentith.

Pha.

By Iupiters clouen pate tis true. But wee witty fellowes
are so forgetfull, but stay, hu, hu, cary him this.

The gordian knot which Alexander great,
Did whilom cut with his all conquering swords
Was nothing like thy Busk-point pretty Peate,
Nor could so faire an augury afford.

Then to conclude let him peruert Catullus his zonam soluit diu
ligatam thus, thus.

Which if I chaunce to cut or els vntie,
Thy little world Ile conquer presently.

Tis pretty, pretty, tell him twas extemporall,

Hev.

Well Sir, but now for Maister Inameratos loue-letter.

Ph.
Some netling stuffe yfaith; let him write thus,

Most heart commanding fac't Gentlewoman, euen as the stone
in India called Basaliscus, hurts all that lookes on it: and as
the Serpent in Arabia called Smaragdus delighteth the sight,
so does thy celestiall orbe assimilating eyes, both please, and
in pleasing wound my loue-darted heart.

Hev.

But what trick shall I inuent for the conclusion?

Pha.

Pish any thing Loue, will minister Inke for the rest,
He that once begun well, hath halfe done, let him begin againe
and there's all.

Hev.

Maister Gullio spoke for a new fahion, what for him?

Pha.

A fashion for his sute—let him button it downe the
sleeue with foure elbowes, and so make it the pure heiroglyphick
of a foole.

Hev.

Nay then let me request one thing of you.

Pha.

What's that Boy? by this faire hand thou shalt haue it.

Hev.

Mistriffe Superbia a Gentlewoman of my acquaintance
wisht me to deuise her a new set for her Ruffe, and an odde tire,
I pray sir helpe me out with it.

Pha.

Ah Boy in my conceit it's a heard matter to performe,
these women haue well nigh tired me, with deuising tires for
them, and set me at an non plus for new sets, their heads are so
light, & their eyes so coye, that I know not how to please them.

Hev.

I pray Sir, she hath a bad face, and faine would haue
sutors, Phantasticall and odde apparrell, would perchance draw
some body to looke on her.

Pha.

If her face be nought, in my opinion, the more view it,
the worse, bid her weare the multitude of her deformities vnder
a maske, till my leasure will serue to deuise some durable, and
vnstained blush of painting.

Hev.

Very good Sir.

Pha.

Away then, hye thee againe, meete me at the Court
within this houre at the farthest.

Exit Heuresis.

Oh heauens, how haue I beene troubled these latter times with
Women, Fooles, Babes, Taylers, Poets, Swaggerers, Guls, Ballad-makers,
they haue almost disrobed me of all the toyes and trifles
I can deuise, were it not that I pitty the poore multitude of
Printers, these Sonnet-mungers should starue for conceits, for
all Phantastes, But these puling Louers, I cannot but laugh at

them and their Encomions of their Mistresses. They make forsooth
her hayre of Gold, her eyes of Diamond, her cheekes of
Roses, her lippes of Rubies, her teeth of Pearle, and her whole
body of Iuory: and when they haue thus Idold her like Pigmalion,
they fall downe and worship her. Psyche, thou hast laid
a hard taske vpon my shoulders, to inuent at euery ones aske,
were it not that I refresh my dulnesse once a day with my most
Angelicall presence, 'twere vnpossible for me to vndergo it.