Lingva : Or The Combat of the Tongue, And the fiue Senses For Superiority A pleasant Comoedie |
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 | Lingva : Or The Combat of the Tongue, And the fiue Senses For Superiority |  |
Actus. 2.
Scena 1.
Appetitvs. Along leaue Raw-bon'd flellow in a Souldiers coate, a sword, &c.Mendacio. Appetitvs.
Mend.
I long to see those hot-spur senses at it, they say they
haue gallant preparations, and not vnlikely, for most of the soldiers
are ready in Armes since the last feild fought against their
yearely enemy Meleager, & his wife Acrasia; that Conquest hath
so flesht them that no peace can hold them. But had not Meleager
beene sicke, and Acrasia drunke, the senses might haue
whistled for the victory.
Foh, what a stincke of gunpouder is yonder?
Mend.
Whoes this! oh oh tis Appetitus, Gustus his hungry
Parasite.
App.
I cannot indure the smoking of Gunnes, the thundering
of drums, I had rather here the merry hacking of pot-hearbs,
and see the reaking of a hot capon. If they would vse no
other Bucklers in warre, but sheilds of Brawne, brandish no
swords but sweards of Bacon, traile no speares, but sparribs of
Porke, and insteed of Hargebush peices discharge Hartichock-pies,
tosse no pikes but boyled pickrills, then Appetitus would
rouse vp his crest, and beare vp him selfe with the proudest.
Mend.
Ah heres a youth starke naught at a trench, but old
dog at a trencher, a tall squire at a square table.
App.
But now my good masters must pardon mee, I am not
for their seruice, for their seruice is without seruice, and indeed
their seruice is too hoat for my diet. But what. If I bee not my
selfe but only this be my spirit that wanders vp and downe, and
Appetitus be kild in the Camp, the Diuill he is as soone, howes
that possible? tut tut I know I am, I am Appetitus, and aliue
too, by this Infallible token, that I feele my selfe hungry.
Mend.
Thou mightst haue taken a better token of thy selfe,
by knowing thou art a foole.
App.
Wel thē though I made my fellow souldiers admire the
beauty of my backe & wonder at the nimblenes of my hee'es,
yet now wil I at saftie at home, tell in what dangers they are abroad,
Ile speake nothing but guns, and glaues, and staues, and
phalanges, & squadrons, and barracadoe, ambuscadoes, palmedoes
blanke point dept, counterpoint, counter scrafe, sallies and
lies, saladoes, tarantantaras, ranta, tara tara, hey
Mend.
I must take the fife out of his mouth or he'le nere adone.
App.
But aboue all Ile bee sure on my knees to thanke the
great—
Mendacio blinds him.
Mend.
Who am I, who am I, who I?
App.
By the bloud-staind fauchion of Mauors—I am on your side.
Mend.
Why, who am I?
App.
Are you a souldier?
Mend.
No.
App.
Then you are maister Helluo the Bear-heard,
Mend.
No, no, he's dead.
Or Gulono the gutty Seriant, or Delphino the Vinter, or
els I know you not, for these are all my acquaintance.
Men.
Would I were hangd if I be any of these.
App.
What Mendacio, by the faith of a Knight thou art
welcome, I must borrow thy Whetstone to sharpen the edges
of my martiall complements.
Men.
By the faith of a Knight, what a pox, where are thy
Spurres?
App.
I need no spurres, I ride like Pegasus on a winged horse,
on a swift Gennet, my Boy, called feare.
Men.
What shouldst thou feare in the warres? hee's not a
good souldier that hath not a good stomack.
App.
O, but the stinke of powder spoiles Appetitus stomack,
and then thou knowst when 'tis gone, Appetitus is dead, therefore
I very manfully drew my sword, and flourisht it brauely
about mine eares, kist, and finding my selfe hurr, most manfully
ranne away.
Men.
All heart indeed, for thou ran'st like a Hart out of the field,
It seemes then the Senses meane to fight it out.
App.
I and out-fight themselues I thinke, and all about a trifle,
a paltrie bable, found I know not where.
Men.
Thou art deceiued, they fight for more then that, a
thing called superioritie, of which the Crowne is but an
Embleme.
App.
Mendacio hang this superioritie, Crowne mee no
Crowne but Bacchus Crowne of Roses, giue me no Scepter, but
a fat Capons legge, to shew that I am the great King of Hungarie,
therefore I prethee talke no more of state-matters, but in
briefe, tell mee my little rascall, how thou hast spent thy time
this many a day?
Men.
Faith in some credit since thou saw'st me last.
App.
How so, where?
Men.
Euery where; in the Court your Gentlewomen hang
me at their Apron strings, and that makes them answer so readily.
In the Cittie I am honour'd like a God, none so well acquainted
with your tradesmen: your Lawyers all the Terme
time hire me of my Lady, your Gallants if they heare my name
abused, they stab for my sake: your Trauellers so dote vpon me
many a good meale, vnder the Countenance of my familiarity:
nay your States-men haue oftentimes closely cōueied me vnder
their tongues, to make their pollicies more currant, As for oldmen
they challenge my Company by authority.
App.
I am exceeding glad of your great promotion.
Mend.
Nowe when I am disposed I can Philophy it in the
Vniuersity, with the subtilest of them all.
App.
I cannot be perswaded that t'art acquainted with
Schollers euer since thou wert prest to death in a Print-house.
Mend.
No, why I was the first founder of the 3. sects of Phylosophy
except on of the Peripatetticks who accknowledge Aristotle
(I confesse) their great Grand-father.
App.
Thou Boy, how is this possible? thou art but a Child
and there were sects of Philosophy before thou wert borne.
Mend.
Appetitus, thou mistakest me, I tell thee, 3000 yeares,
agoe was Mendacio borne in Greece, nurst in Creete and euer
since honoured euery where: Ile bee sworne I held old Homers
pen when hee write his Illiads, and his Odisses.
App.
Thou hadst need, for I heare say he was blind.
Mend.
I helped Herodotus to pen some part of his muses, lent
Pliny inke to write his history, rounded Rabalais in the eare
when he historified Pantagruell, as for Lucian I was his Genius,
O those two Bookes De Uera historia howsoeuer they go vnder
his name, Ile be sworne I writ them euery title.
App.
Sure as I am Hungry thou'st haue it for lying. But hast
thou rusted this latter time for want of exercise?
Mend.
Nothing lesse; I must confesse I would faine haue logged
Stow and great Hollings-head on their elbowes, when they,
were about their Chronicles, and as I remember Sir Iohn Mandeuills
trauells, and a great part of the Decads were of my doing.
But for the mirror of Knight-hood, Beuis of Southampton,
Palmerin of England, Amadis of Gaule, Huon de Burdeaux, Sir
Guy of Warwick Martin marprellate, Robin-hood, Garragantua,
Gerilion and a thousand such exquisite monuments as these, no
doubt but they breath on my breath vp and downe.
App.
Downewards Ile sweare for the'rs stinking lies in them.
Men.
But what should I light a Candle to the bright Sunneshine
fame.
App.
And so it wilbe so long as the world is full of fame.
Mend.
But Sirra how hast thou done this long time?
App.
In as much request as thy selfe. To begin with the
Court as thou didst, I lie with the Ladies all night, and thats the
reason they call for Cullies, and Gruellies, so early before their
praiers, your gallāts neuer sup, break-fast, or Beauer without me.
Mend.
Thats false for I haue seene them eate with a full stomacke.
App.
True, but because they know a little thinge driues mee
from them, therefore in midst of meate they present mee with
some sharpe sauce or a dish of delicate Anchoues, or a Cauiare,
to intice me backe againe, nay more your olde Sirs that hardly
go without a propp, will walke a mile or two euery day to renew
their accquaintance with mee, as for the Academie it is beholding
to mee, for adding the eight prouince vnto noble Heptarchie
of the liberall sciences.
Mend.
Whats that I prethee.
App.
The most desired and honorable art of Cookerie.
Now Sirra in the City I am ---st, st.
O the body of a Louse.
Mend.
What art a louse in the Citty?
App.
Not a word more for yonder comes Phantastes, and
some bodie else.
Mend.
What a pox can Phantastes do?
App.
Worke a miracle if he would proue wise.
Men.
Tis he indeede, the vilest nup: yet the foole loues mee
exceedinglie but I care not for his company for if he once catch
me, I shall neuer be rid of him.
Exeunt Appet: and Mend.
SCEN. 2.
Phantastes. A swart complexion'd fellow but quick ey'd, in a white Satten dublet of one fashion, greene veluet hose of an other? Aphantasticall hat with a plume of fethers of seuerall collours, a little short taffata cloake, a paire of Buskins cut, drawne out with sundry coloured Ribands, with scarfes hung about him,Hevresis. A nimble sprighted page in the newest fashion with a garland of Bayes. &c.
Phantastes. Hevresis.
Phan.
Sirra Boy Heuresis boy how now byting your nailes?
Hev.
Three things haue trobled my braine this many a day,
and iust now, when I was laying hold on the Inuention of thē,
your suddaine call, made them like Tantalus apples, flie from
my fingers.
Ph.
Some great matters questionles, what were they?
Hev.
The quadrature of a circle, the Philosophers stone and
the next way to the Indies;
Ph.
Thou dost well to meditate on these three things at once
for theile bee found out altogither, ad græcas calendas, but let
them passe and cary the conceite, I told you this morning to the
partie you wot of. In my immagination tis Capritious, t'will
take I warrant thee.
Hev.
I will Sir, But what say you to the gentleman that
was with you yesterday?
Ph.
O I thinke thou meanest him that made 19. sonnets of
his mistris Busk-point;
Hev.
The same, the same, Sir. You promis'd to helpe him out
with th'twentith.
Pha.
By Iupiters clouen pate tis true. But wee witty fellowes
are so forgetfull, but stay, hu, hu, cary him this.
Did whilom cut with his all conquering swords
Was nothing like thy Busk-point pretty Peate,
Nor could so faire an augury afford.
Then to conclude let him peruert Catullus his zonam soluit diu
ligatam thus, thus.
Thy little world Ile conquer presently.
Tis pretty, pretty, tell him twas extemporall,
Hev.
Well Sir, but now for Maister Inameratos loue-letter.
Ph.
Some netling stuffe yfaith; let him write thus,
Most heart commanding fac't Gentlewoman, euen as the stone
in India called Basaliscus, hurts all that lookes on it: and as
the Serpent in Arabia called Smaragdus delighteth the sight,
so does thy celestiall orbe assimilating eyes, both please, and
in pleasing wound my loue-darted heart.
Hev.
But what trick shall I inuent for the conclusion?
Pha.
Pish any thing Loue, will minister Inke for the rest,
He that once begun well, hath halfe done, let him begin againe
and there's all.
Hev.
Maister Gullio spoke for a new fahion, what for him?
Pha.
A fashion for his sute—let him button it downe the
sleeue with foure elbowes, and so make it the pure heiroglyphick
of a foole.
Hev.
Nay then let me request one thing of you.
Pha.
What's that Boy? by this faire hand thou shalt haue it.
Hev.
Mistriffe Superbia a Gentlewoman of my acquaintance
wisht me to deuise her a new set for her Ruffe, and an odde tire,
I pray sir helpe me out with it.
Pha.
Ah Boy in my conceit it's a heard matter to performe,
these women haue well nigh tired me, with deuising tires for
them, and set me at an non plus for new sets, their heads are so
light, & their eyes so coye, that I know not how to please them.
Hev.
I pray Sir, she hath a bad face, and faine would haue
sutors, Phantasticall and odde apparrell, would perchance draw
some body to looke on her.
Pha.
If her face be nought, in my opinion, the more view it,
the worse, bid her weare the multitude of her deformities vnder
a maske, till my leasure will serue to deuise some durable, and
vnstained blush of painting.
Hev.
Very good Sir.
Pha.
Away then, hye thee againe, meete me at the Court
within this houre at the farthest.
Oh heauens, how haue I beene troubled these latter times with
Women, Fooles, Babes, Taylers, Poets, Swaggerers, Guls, Ballad-makers,
they haue almost disrobed me of all the toyes and trifles
I can deuise, were it not that I pitty the poore multitude of
Printers, these Sonnet-mungers should starue for conceits, for
all Phantastes, But these puling Louers, I cannot but laugh at
her hayre of Gold, her eyes of Diamond, her cheekes of
Roses, her lippes of Rubies, her teeth of Pearle, and her whole
body of Iuory: and when they haue thus Idold her like Pigmalion,
they fall downe and worship her. Psyche, thou hast laid
a hard taske vpon my shoulders, to inuent at euery ones aske,
were it not that I refresh my dulnesse once a day with my most
Angelicall presence, 'twere vnpossible for me to vndergo it.
SCENA. 3.
Commvnis Sensvs, a graue man in a Black veluet cassocke like a Councellor, speakes comming out of the dore.Commvnis Sensvs. Phantastes.
Com. S.
I cannot stay I tell you 'tis more then time I were at
Court, I know my soueraine Psyshe hath expected me this houre
Pha.
In good time, yonder comes Common-sense, I imagine
it should be he by his voice.
Com. S.
Craue my counsell, tell me what maner of man he is?
can he entertaine a man into his house, can he hold his Veluet
Cap in one hand, and vale his bonnet with the other? knowes
he how to become a Scarlet gowne, hath he a paire of fresh
posts at his doore?
Pha.
Hee's about some hasty State-matters, he talkes of posts
me thinkes.
Com. S.
Can hee part a couple of Dogges brawling in the
streete? why then choose him Mayor vpon my credit, heele
proue a wise officer.
Pha.
Saue you my Lord, I haue attended your leisure this
houre.
Com. S.
Fye vpon't what a toile haue I had to choose them a
Mayor yonder? there's a fustie Currier will haue this man:
there's a Chandlor wipes his nose on his sleeue, and sweares it
shall not bee so. There's a Musterd-maker lookes as keene as
Viniger will haue another: O this many headed multitude, it's
a hard matter to please them.
Especially where the multitude is so well headed. But
I pray you where's Maister Memory? hath hee forgotten himselfe
that he is not here.
Com. Sen.
'Tis high time he were at Court, I would he
would come.
SCEN. 4.
Memory, an old decrepit man, in a black Veluet Cassock, a Taffata Gowne furred, with white Grogaram, a white beard, Ueluet slippers, a Watch, Staffe, &c.Anamnestes his Page, in a graue Sattin sute Purple, Buskins, a Garland of Bayes and Rosemary, a gimmall ring with one linke hanging, Ribbands and Threds tyed to some of his fingers, in his hand a paire of Table-bookes, &c.
Memorie. Anamnestes. Phantastes. Sens. Com.
Mem.
How soone a wise man shall haue his wish.
Com. Se.
Memory the season of your comming is very ripe.
Ph.
Had you staid a little longer 'twould haue bin starke rottē.
Mem.
I am glad I sau'd it from the Swine—Spretious I
haue forgot something. O my purse, my purse, why Anamnestes?
Remembrance where art thou Anamnestes Remembrance, that
vild Boy is alwayes gadding, I remember he was at my heeles,
euen now and now the vild Rascall is vanisht.
Pha.
Is he not here? why then in my imagination hee's left
behind, ôla Anamnestes remembrance.
An.
(running in hast.)
Anon, anon, sir anon, anon sir, anon, anon
sir, anon, anon, sir.
Mem.
Ha sirra, what a brawling's here?
An.
I do but giue you an answer with anon Sir.
Mem.
You answer sweetly, I haue cald you three or foure
times one after another.
An.
Sir, I hope I answered you 3. or 4. times, one in the neck
of another. But if your good worship haue lent me any more
calls, tell me, and Ile repay them as I am a Gentleman.
Mem.
Leaue your tattle, had you come at first I had not spent
so much breath in vaine.
The truth is Sir, the first time you called, I heard you
not, the second I vnderstood you not, the third I knew not
whether it were you or no: the fourth I could not tell where
you were, and that's the reason I answered so suddenly.
Mem.
Goe sirra, runne, seeke euery where, I haue lost my
purse some where.
An.
I go sir: Go sirra, seeke, runne, I haue lost, bring, here's a
Dogges life with a poxe, shall I bee alwayes vsde like a water-Spanniell.
Com.
Come good Maister Register, I wonder you be so late now-adayes.
Mem.
My good Lord, I remember that I knew your Grand-father
in this your place, and I remember your Grand-fathers
great Grand-fathers, Grand-fathers Fathers, Father, yet in those
dayes I neuer remember that any of them could say, that Register
Memory euer broke one minute of his appointment.
Com. S.
Why good Father, why are you so late now a dayes?
Mem.
Thus 'tis, the most customers I remember my selfe to
haue, are (as your Lordship knowes) Schollers, and now a
daies the most of them are become Critticks, bringing me home
such paltry things to lay vp for them, that I can hardly finde
them againe.
Ph.
Iupiter, Iupiter, I had thought these Flyes had bit none
but my selfe, do Critticks tickle you yfaith?
Mem.
Very familiarly: for they must know of me forsooth
how euery idle word is written in all the mustie moath-eaten
Manuscripts, kept in all the old Libraries in euery Cittie betwixt
England and Peru.
Com. Sen.
Indeed I haue noted these times to affect Antiquities,
more then is requisite.
Mem.
I remember in the age of Assaracus and Ninus, and
about the warres of Thebes, and the siege of Troy, there was few
things committed to my charge, but those that were well worthy
the preseruing, but now euery trifle must be wrapped vp in
the volume of eternitie. A rich pudding-wife, or a Cobler cānot
die but I must immortalize his name with an Epitaph: A dog
cannot pisse in a Noblemans shoe, but it must be sprinkled into
the Chronicles, so that I neuer could remēber my Treasure more
full, & neuer emptier of honorable, and true heroycall actions.
By your leaue Memory you are not alone troubled,
Chronologers many of them are so so Phantasticke, as
when they bring a Captaine to the Combate, lifting vp
his reuengefull arme to dispart the head of his enemie,
they'le hold vp his armes so long till they haue bestowed
three or foure pages in describing the gold hilts of his
threating Fauchion. So that in my Fancie the reader may well
wonder his aduersary stabs him not, before he strikes, moreouer
they are become most palpable flatterers alwaies begging at my
gates for Inuention.
Com.
This is a great fault in a Chronologer to turne Parasite:
An absolute history should bee in feare of none, neither
should hee write any thing more then truth for friend-ship, or
lesse for hate, but keepe himselfe equall and constant in all his
discourses, but for vs we must bee contented, for as our honors
increase, so must the burthen of the cares of our offices vrge vs
to waxeheauy.
Ph.
But not till our backes breake, s'lud there was neuer any
so haunted as I am, this daie there comes a Sophister to my
house, knocks at my dore, his errand being ask'd, forsoth his answere
was to borrow a faire sute of conceites out of my wardrop,
to apparraile a shewe he had in hand, and what thinke you
is the plot?
Com.
Nay I know not, for I am little acquainted with such
toies.
Ph.
Meane-while he's somewhat acquainted with you, for
he's bould to bring your person vpon the stage.
Com.
What me? I cannot remember, that I was euer brought
vpon the stage before.
Ph.
Yes you and you, and my selfe with all my Phantisticall
tricks and humors, but I trow I haue fitted him with Fooleries
I trust heele neuer troble me againe.
Com.
O times, O manners, when Boies dare to traduce men
in authority was euer such an attempt heard?
Mem.
I remember there was. For (to say the truth) at my
last being at Athens (It is now, let me see, about 1800. yeares a
goe) I was at a Commedie of Aristophanes making, (I shall neuer
forget it) The Arch-gouernor of Athens tooke me by the hād
himselfe being then a present spectator: I remember he sate
full against me, and did not so much as shew the least countenance
of discontent.
Com.
In those dayes it was lawfull, but now the abuse of
such liberty is vnsufferable.
Ph.
Thinke what you will of it, I thinke 'tis done, and I
thinke it is acting by this time; harke, harke, what drummings
yonder, Ile laye my life they are come to present the shewe
I spake off.
Com.
It may be so; stay weele see what 'tis.
SCENA. 5.
Lingva. Mendacio. Com. Sen. and the rest.Ling.
Faine thy selfe in great hast.
Men.
I warrant you Madam: I doubt 'tis in vaine to runne,
by this they are all past ouer-taking.
Com. Sen.
Is not this Lingua that is in such hast?
Ph.
Yes, yes stand still.
Men.
I must speake with him.
Com. Sen.
With whom?
Men.
Assure your selfe they are all at Court ere this.
Ling.
Runne after them, for vnlesse he know it—
Com. Sen.
Lingua.
Ling.
O ist your Lordship: I beseech you pardon me hast,
and feare, I protest put out mine eyes: I lookt so long for you,
that I knew not when I had found you.
Pha.
In my conceit, that's like the man that inquired, who
saw his Asse, when himselfe ridde on him.
Ling.
O my heart beates so, fie, fie, fie, fie,
Men.
I am so weary, fo, fo, fo, fo.
Com. Sen.
I prethee Lingua make an end.
Ling.
Let mee begin first I beseech you, but if you will
needs haue the end first, thus 'tis. The common-wealth of Microsme
at this instant, suffers the pangs of death, 'tis gasping for
breath. Will you haue all? 'tis poisned.
What Pothecary durst be so bold as make such a confection:
ha what poison ist?
Ling.
A golden Crowne.
Mem.
I mistake, or els Galen in his booke De sanitate tuenda,
commends gold as restoratiue.
Com. Sen.
Lingua expresse your selfe.
Men.
Madam if you want breath, let me helpe you out.
Ling.
I prethee do, do.
Men.
My Lord, the report is, that Mercurie comming late
into this country, in this very place, left a Coronet with this inscription,
that the best of the fiue should haue it, which the Senses
thinking to belong vnto them—
Ling.
Challenge each other, and are now in armes, and
'tlike your Lordship.
Com. Sen.
I protest it likes not me.
Ling.
Their battailes are not farre hence ready rang'd.
Com. Sen.
O monstrous presumption? what shall we do?
Mem.
My Lord, in your great Grand-fathers time, there
was I remember such a breach amongst them, therefore my
Counsell is, that after his example by the strength of your authoritie
you conuent them before you.
Com.
Lingua go presently, command the Senses vpon their
alleageance to our dread Soueraigne Queene Psyche, to dismisse
their companies, and personally to appeare before me without
any pretence of excuse.
Ling.
I go my Lord.
Ph.
But here you Madam, I pray you let your Pages tongue
walke with vs a little, till you returne againe.
Ling.
With all my heart.
Exit Lingua.
SCENE. 6.
Ph.Hot youths I protest, saw you those warlike preparations?
Men.
Lately my Lords, I spide into the Armie,
But oh, 'tis farre beyond my reach of wit.
Or strength of vtterance to describe their forces.
Com. Sen.
Go to, speake what thou canst.
Mend.
Vpon the right hand of a spatious Hill,
Proud Uisus marshalleth a puissant army,
Is Ioues swift Thunder-bearer, that same Bird,
That hoist vp Ganimede from the Troyan plaines:
The vant-gard strengthned with a wondrous flight.
Of Falcons, Haggards, Hobbies, Terselets,
Lanards and Goshaukes, Sparhaukes, and Rauenous Birds.
The rereward graunted to Auditus charge.
Is stoutly follow'd with an impetuous heard
Of stif-neckt Buls, and many horne-mad stagges,
Of the best head the Forrest can afford.
Ph.
I promise you a fearfull troupe of Souldiers.
Men.
Right opposite stands, Tactus strongly mand,
With three thousand brisled Vrchens for his Pikemen;
Foure hundreth Tortesses for Elephants.
Besides a monstrous troupe of vglie spiders,
Within an ambushment he hath commanded,
Of their owne gutts to spinne a cordage fine,
Whereof t'haue fram'd a net (O wondrous worke)
That fastned by the Concaue of the Moone,
Spreds downe it selfe toth'earths circumference.
Mem.
Tis very strange, I can not remember the like Engine at any time.
Men.
Nay more my Lord, the maskes are made so strong,
That I my selfe vpon them scal'd the heauens,
And bouldly walkt about the middle region,
Where in the prouince of the Meteors,
I saw the clowdie shops of Haile and Raine,
Garners of Snow, and Christals full of dew,
Riuers of burning Arrowes, Dens of Dragons,
Huge beames of flames, and Speares like fire-brands,
Where I beneld hotte Mars and Mercurie,
With Rackets made of Spheares, and Balls of Starres,
Playing at Tennis for a Tunne of Nectar.
And that vast gaping of the Firmament,
Vnder the Southerne pole is nothing else,
But the great hazzard of their Tennis Court,
The Zodiack is the line. The shooting Starres,
Which in an eye-bright euening seem'd to fall,
Are nothing but the Balls they loose at Bandy,
By the same net I went vp, I discended.
Com. Sen.
Well Sirra to what purpose tends this Stratageme?
Mend.
None know directly, but I thinke it is,
T'intrappe the Eagles, when the Battailes ioyne.
Ph.
Who takes Tactus his parte?
Mend.
Vnder the standard of thrice hardy Tactus,
Thrice valiant Gustus, leades his warlike forces,
An-endles multitude of desperate Apes,
Fiue hundred Marmosetts and long-taild Monkees:
All trained to the field, and nimble Gunners.
Ph
Immagine theres old mouing amongst them: me thinks
a handfull of nuttes would turne them all out of their Souldiers
coates.
Men.
Ramparts of Pastie-crust and fortes of pies,
Entrench'd with dishes full of Custard stuffe:
Hath Gustus made; and planted ordinance,
Strange ordinance: Cannons of hollowe canes:
Whose pouder's Rape-seed, charged with Turnip shot.
Mem.
I Remember in the Country of Vtopia, they vse no other
kind of Artillery.
Com. Sen.
But what's become of Olfactus?
Mend.
He pollitickly leanes to neither part,
But stands betwixt the camps as at receite:
Hauing great wine his Pioners to entrench them.
Ph.
In my foolish immagination Olfactus is very like the Goddesse
of victory that neuer takes any part but the Conquerers.
Mend.
And in the woods he placed secretly,
Two hundred couple of hounds and hungry Mastiffs:
And ore his head houer at his commaunde,
A cloud of Vultures, which or'e spred the light,
Making a night before the day be done:
But to what end not knowne but feard of all.
Ph.
I coniecture hee intends to see them fight and after the
battaile to feede his Dogges, Hoggs and Vultures vpon the
murdred carcases.
Men.
My L. I thinke the furie of their Anger will not bee obedient
to the Message of Lingua, for otherwise in my conceite
wee'le attend vpon you to see the feild for more certainty.
It shalbe so; Come Maister Register lets walke.
Exeunt omnes.
| Lingva : Or The Combat of the Tongue, And the fiue Senses For Superiority | |